by Kailin Gow
He didn’t answer.
I asked again, but when he looked up, I saw that his eyes were filled with tears, his long lashes wet from crying. Tracks of tears were streaming down his face and he looked so broken that I felt my throat constricting to not cry myself. Stop it, he doesn’t need pity, I thought.
“Callum, just tell me what’s wrong,” I said, standing back up and giving him some space. I felt awkward now and like I was the one who was a real jackass.
“Can’t you see?” he said, his teeth gritted together in a look of obvious excruciating pain. “Everything is wrong! I’m sorry for everything I’ve caused because of my stupidity. I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you, your mother, everyone. And my father, I can’t make it up to him. He’s dead and died humiliated because of me. The only way I can think of to try and make it better is to hope that through my actions, your mother and you can someday forgive me. I didn’t know how to do that without coming here.”
“Mom said you were recommended by a friend, and she said you were the help she needed, but…”
“She put me to work right when I visited, told me she needed extra help because you had stuff to do, and put me to work right away,” Callum said.
“Well, that’s my mom for you. She has a heart of gold,” I said. I felt bad about this situation and even pitied Callum, but that wasn’t what he needed. And I was not willing to give him a free pass. I’d be respectable, but certainly not do anything to become closer to him, either. “I know that you aren’t ready to take over CEO at Beast, but why not do something else there?”
“I don’t know what I’d do there, either. I’m not fit for ad campaigns anymore. Mason is running things now, and I’m just not…just not needed.”
“Well, you must be set up well enough that you could do something educational while you are getting back into the swing of things,” I offered.
“No, I don’t have anywhere to go. This is it,” Callum said.
“I’m no following. What do you mean, exactly?”
“Well, my penthouse is company owned and run through the business, so I’m out. They’re using it as a corporate apartment for the managers of our overseas locations when they come for meetings.”
“And your family home?”
“It’s embarrassing to say it, but I’ve burnt so many bridges, been such a prick to so many people that they don’t really want me there, either.”
“That’s horrible!” I exclaimed.
“It’s true. But worst of all, I have a hard time even looking my mom in the eyes. She loves me, I know, but I basically killed the love of her life.” He began trembling again and I felt so bad about it. This really was some crazy karma that had come Callum’s way, very hard for me to imagine.
“And you can’t live with Mason?” I asked.
“No.” He didn’t elaborate any further on Mason. “That’s why I am so thankful to your mother. She said your place was big enough that I could stay there while I rebuild myself. Without her kindness…I just don’t know.”
“Excuse me, I don’t think I heard you correctly, Callum.” He was clearly upset enough that he wasn’t making any sense. “Where are you staying?”
“At your place,” he said.
I had heard him right, and I was in shock. Why would Mom invite this hateful ass to live in our home, our sanctuary? Down on his luck or not, he had to have someone else he could stay with. “You’re kidding, right?” Lame question, but the best I could do.
“No, I’m not. Wish I were. None of my friends would help me out, either. I asked, which was hard to do, but it was pretty damn easy for them to say ‘no’ to me.”
I couldn’t believe all of this and tried to put it out of my mind. I kept shoving Callum off on various people to explain their roles and doing what I needed to do. Every time I saw him I felt like I might be having a nightmare too. The entire situation sucked in my opinion. But I kept busy. The reality of it hit home when Mom entered into my office and said, “Charisma, why don’t you take Callum home and give him the guest room. Make sure he has everything he needs, okay?”
“Okay,” I said. I didn’t want to, but I would never disrespect my mother by questioning her decision, especially in front of him.
Once in my car, just having him there next to me was unsettling. We pulled up and I went into the garage with my car and we walked into the house through the service door. “I’m sure this is much smaller than what you’re used to, Callum.”
“I don’t care,” he said.
Admittedly, I was slightly impressed that he’d managed to hold his tongue from the darkness that was likely still in his heart all day. I’d never let him know that, though.
I showed him around to where all the pertinent things he’d need was, avoiding Mom and my bedrooms, and then took him to the guest suite on the opposite side of the house where his room would be. When we walked into it I saw that all his things were already there. Mom definitely didn’t waste any time.
Callum looked over at me and even though I stared at him with callous disregard, I could see that something was in his eyes that couldn’t be avoided. It was different and softer than what I’d noticed the first time I met him, or even when he’d spent time together today. It was gratitude. And seeing it on his face made him seem like a different person—a tolerable person, at least. Maybe he was just a broken guy who needed saving. Just so long as my mom did the saving for Callum Beast we’d be fine, because it was not a job that I was interested in.
Chapter 8
Charisma
Having Callum at my smaller sized casa was awful. I couldn’t stand it that I could be sitting in my room with the door open or trying to do some work in the living room and I’d see him. I tried to avoid him, but inevitably my luck always ran out and I’d see him. And his body, it was so strange. From a distance, it was beautiful despite losing a bit of its definition due to him not being able to work out, but up close, it was so scarred up, along with his face, that I felt like a piece of scum because the name Frankenstein would often cross my mind.
I was sitting by the table, working on my paper for Beast Company, and enjoying a glass of much needed red wine to help me wind down. It had been a long and taxing day, one in which I received bad news that some of our shipments for new ingredients was delayed in customs at some port in France. Having production fall behind was not ideal and that was just what was going to happen if it didn’t get cleared up pronto.
“You okay?” Callum asked, walking up to me. He had on a pair of shorts and was holding a t-shirt in his hand.
I looked up at him and couldn’t help it, but my eyes went to the L shaped scar on his chest. He noticed and quickly put his shirt on, suddenly embarrassed, which made me embarrassed, too. “Sorry, you didn’t have to do that. I just noticed it,” I said softly.
“I can’t stand looking at those scars. I don’t expect any differently from anyone else, Charisma.”
“The sooner you accept it, the happier you’d be, yes?” I asked.
“I suppose, but I’m not here to talk about scars.” His voice was terse.
“What did you need?” I asked, glancing into his eyes. They were always so charged with emotion now—emotions that I didn’t really understand.
“I was just wondering what was on our schedule tomorrow?” he asked.
“You’ll be with Wanda in Product Development. It’s may day over at Beast Company,” I said. I felt bad saying it, but he knew I went there and it was the truth, so…
“Oh, got it,” he said.
“Do you ever visit over there?” I asked.
“No, just too painful,” he said to me.
“And how about your mother? Have you seen her lately?”
“We met for lunch, but I feel so strange being out in public. People look, but that’s not so bad. They talk, too, and while I don’t care what they say about me, Charisma, I care about how they look at me. My last name has never seemed so cliché before.”
I laughed softly. “I can see how that might sting you a bit, but Callum, I think there’s an opportunity in all of this that will be good. Even if you don’t know what it is yet, I think it’ll happen.”
For a moment, we just looked at each other and I couldn’t help but get philosophical. What was the price someone had to pay for their mistakes? Callum’s had been high, no doubt, and even though I’d held plenty of resentment toward him for the way he’d acted, I was beginning to feel that he’d paid the price. Things couldn’t get much worse for the guy.
“Hey, tomorrow night a bunch of us are getting together for a few drinks after work. Would you be interested in joining us?” I asked.
Callum looked excited and then it was quickly replaced with a bit of panic and fear. “That sounds good, but probably not a good idea. I’m not supposed to drink, not sure I’d be strong enough to not be tempted to.”
“I’m sorry, Callum. I keep forgetting…” I didn’t know what else to say. I’d been trying to be nice, but I felt like I’d just been really insensitive.
“Don’t be sorry. The rest of the world doesn’t need to stop living while I figure things out,” he said.
“My mother is rubbing off on you,” I said.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“That just sounds like something she’d say, that’s all. All the ancient Chinese proverbs that she incorporates in a modern way. That kind of thing.”
“I’ve grown to like those,” Callum confessed. “It’s like a walking, talking calendar with the thought for the day.
I burst out into laughter. “That is so true.”
Through laughter, I felt myself drawn more to Callum. He did have a sense of humor behind it all and a witty intelligence. Maybe he’d start showing it more. From my perspective, that would definitely be a gift. The world deserved to see his best potential, after all.
We were both silent for a bit and I finally said, “Well, I’ve got to get back to work on this now. Can’t believe how fast the deadline’s approaching.”
“Good night then,” Callum said.
“Good night,” I said. He turned to walk away and I noticed how he really did look like a manly man. It was intriguing, but why? He certainly wasn’t my type—not like Mason was.
***
It had been hard to stop thinking about the frat gala and the great connection that Mason and I had that evening. Work had been busy that week and while it had just been five days ago, it felt like an eternity. More than I wanted to admit, I was hoping that Mason would ask me out again. But my common sense would take over and I’d think, at least stay low until your project with the company is over and see what happens from there.
So, oddly enough despite it all, I found myself spending a lot more time with Callum these days at the cosmetics company over Mason at Beast. We were on our way over to the marketing department to view some sketches and concepts for the Christmas launch, which was crazy. I guess that’s how Christmas in July and concepts like that were born, because the holidays seemed like an eternity away.
“What do you think of the industry so far? Is it as boring and cheap as you’d envisioned?” I asked, half sarcastically.
“You don’t want to let me live that down, do you? I don’t blame you, I guess,” Callum said.
I breathed in deeply. “Callum, stop. I’m not saying it to be mean, just so we can have a good laugh about it. It’s taken a lot to be able to get over it and laugh about it so it shows we’ve come a long way. Also, I want to get past the past and get the tension out of the way. I mean how else are we going to work and live together if we don’t?”
“Sorry, just a habit I’ve gotten. I cannot stop beating myself up,” he said.
“I get that, really I do.” I put my hand on his shoulder and rubbed it softly. “We’ve all had those moments. Maybe you should go talk with someone about it, someone who is better in that area of expertise than I ever will be.”
“Like your mom?” he asked.
“While she is a wealth of wisdom, I was thinking of someone you don’t know. Like a therapist, maybe. You have all these things you’re trying to change so quickly and maybe they can help you recognize just how much you’ve grown already.”
“You think I’ve grown?” he asked.
I looked into his eyes that were loaded with hope. Did I think he’d grown? “I’m not sure I can answer that. I don’t know what’s inside of you, but I think you have.”
“Why?”
“Well Callum, when I first saw you I was so angry at you, I never felt so much hate for anyone. It was hard to be around you, because what you said was very hurtful. Being hated on, especially for no reasons, is unfair and unforgiveable; it made me filled with hate towards you as well. And it didn’t feel good being this hateful, too.
But I think fate had punished you enough. I think you’re sincere about being sorry and wanting to change. It’s just been a few short days but we’ve spent a ton of time together, that I don’t feel angry towards you anymore. It’s unhealthy for both of us. So, through me changing my perspective, I think it’s only natural that you’ve changed too.”
“Thanks, that means the world coming from you. I really am trying, but I’m not a therapist type of guy. If I can’t do this on my own, it is not worth doing.”
“Now that is a Beast trait that I recognize,” I said with a smile. He sounded like Mason just now.
“As it turns out, I’m not going to be going out for drinks tonight. I was wondering if you wanted to go catch an art exhibit that one of my old prep school friends is having at a small gallery in Malibu tonight. Should be fun—nothing fancy. Early night.” I offered this, hoping it didn’t sound like a date, because it was meant as a gesture of friendship.
“I’d like that,” he said.
“Excellent. Well, here we are,” I said, looking at the board room. I loved that room. It was very modern and trendy, having lilac themed décor all around it with rich chestnut wood. It was feminine, yes, but also quite masculine in its own unique way.
***
It didn’t take a lot of days to pass by for Callum and me to fall into a routine that involved being more comfortable around each other. It was normal and I no longer waited for that zing about him catching me in my sweatpants or wearing no make-up. And during the days I was at the cosmetics company, he became my sidekick. We were everywhere together and the awkward moments were less, the good conversation moments more.
Chapter 9
Charisma
All the relaxation that had come between Callum and me in a relatively quick period of time had turned into anxiety with Mason. Maybe it was underlying expectations based on that amazing night and the way he kissed me, or our ambitions, which wouldn’t settle for anything less than being professional around the office environment. Mason needed to be that way because he was the acting CEO. I wanted to be that way, because I didn’t want anyone to discredit my intelligence as I did research for my paper. It was my brain that had gotten me there, not some pending relationship with Mason. So, despite what my heart was interested in, I fought it with my intellect and kept things quite casual on a personal level. I didn’t know how else I could achieve what I wanted.
“Hey, you look great today,” Mason said, looking at me.
“Thanks,” I said.
“How’s the paper coming along? Need any of my time today?” he asked.
“Initially, I did, but I actually was able to tap into the answers I needed, so no, I’m good.”
“Oh,” he said. I think he was disappointed.
And so it went on. The two of us did a nervous dance around each other, but hands down, Mason was more nervous than me. I kept thinking of how he said he was falling for me that night and assumed it was in the heat of the moment. He hadn’t known me long enough to fall in love with me, right?
My day moved forward and we passed each other in the halls occasionally, giving a friendly hello and smile. At the end of that day, I went back to my sm
all make-shift office in a smaller conference room that Mason had set up for me and started to collect my things to head home for the day.
On the table was a small silver box that was tied with a deep blue bow. I wondered what it was, but not who it was from. “Mason,” I said.
“You called,” he answered.
I just about jumped out of my skin. “You scared me!”
“Sorry, didn’t mean to. I just wanted to see your reaction when you opened it.”
“Okay then,” I said, smiling at him and walking over to the box. It was beautiful and barely bigger than a ring box. There was no way it would be that, though.