“Look who finally decided to call me back,” Ian said into the receiver.
“Yeah, yeah. Hello to you, too. Listen, I’ve got some news you’re not going to like,” Jessica said.
Ian sighed dramatically into the phone for Jessica’s benefit. “Lay it on me,” he said, even though he already knew what she was going to say.
“I can’t get Charlie reassigned.”
“Charlotte, you mean,” Ian corrected.
“Right, whatever. Everyone here calls her Charlie. But Charlotte, Charlie, Charlemagne—doesn’t matter to me what you guys call her. You’re stuck with her for the season.”
“You’re slacking, Jessica.”
“I’m not slacking,” Jessica said, her voice frustrated. “I’ve tried everything. But the other crews are all a lot larger than yours. It doesn’t make sense to take a smokejumper from you guys to add to a different crew that’s already bigger. And all my pushing is making people suspicious. Unless you want to deal with a lot of big shots breathing down your necks and asking a lot of questions, I suggest you just deal.”
Ian didn’t say anything to Jessica. He didn’t want to acknowledge her admonition to “just deal,” so he let the statement hang in the air. She finally sighed and spoke again.
“Look, Ian, I’ll keep a sharp eye open in case anything changes. But, for now, I think it’s best if you just accept the fact that you’ve got an extra crew member for the season.”
Ian grunted in response, and Jessica bid him farewell, likely relieved to get off the line.
Ian sat down in his office chair and leaned back, running his fingers through his hair. He should be angrier than he was about Jessica’s news. He should push harder to get rid of Charlotte, playing up the possibility of a romantic conflict of interest if it came to that. But instead, Ian closed his eyes and pictured Charlotte downstairs, her bright eyes sparkling as she shared her wisdom with the crew. His bear growled as he pictured her strong, slender body, looking sexy and tanned in her t-shirt and athletic shorts.
Like it or not, he was stuck with her for the summer. And he honestly didn’t know whether he should like it, or not.
* * *
Late that evening, Charlotte tossed and turned in her bunk. She felt restless and unsettled, and after over an hour of staring wide-eyed at the ceiling, she decided to slip outside and get some fresh air. The sound of soft snoring came from the bunks on the other side of the room, and she tiptoed by the sleeping men as she left the room. She had never bothered to move to a closer bunk, even though there were several available. Staying as far away from the snoring as possible usually helped her sleep better.
Charlotte slipped out into the cool midnight air, wearing only a light t-shirt and cotton pajama pants. She shivered slightly as a brisk breeze hit her. Even though it was summer, the Northern California evenings could be quite chilly. Charlotte sat on the tabletop of a picnic table located in the grassy area just in front of the hangar, and used the bench of the table as a footrest. Then she turned her neck upwards toward the sky. She loved looking up at stars, but the light pollution made them hard to see here. The smokejumper’s base had been nestled nicely into a group of trees, giving them the illusion of being in the middle of a forest, but the hangar was actually not too far away from San Francisco and Oakland. The lights from those large cities drowned out most of the starlight. Charlotte squinted up into the darkness anyways, trying to see if she could make out where the big dipper began.
“Not very impressive, is it?” came Ian’s voice from behind her.
Startled, she jumped and wrapped her hands across her chest in a protective stance. He had been a little less rude lately, but he still didn’t talk to her that much. So she wasn’t quite sure why he had decided to follow her out here now. She just wanted some peace and quiet, and having him around made her heart race in more ways than one. The fact that he had come out here bare-chested, wearing only a pair of sweatpants, didn’t do anything to slow down her pulse. His muscular chest and abs seemed to shimmer in the moonlight.
“What’s not impressive? The stars?” Charlotte asked, even though his meaning had been obvious.
“Yeah. They’re hard to see out here. Too many cities nearby. I’ve definitely seen better,” Ian said with a wink, hopping up onto the picnic table next to Charlotte. The tabletop creaked in protest as he settled his sturdy body onto it.
Charlotte couldn’t help but smile at the thought of some of the starscapes she had seen. Although huge wildfires tended to block out the sky with their smoky, orange glow, smokejumpers often got a chance to see some spectacular starry nights on their hikes down the mountain, after the fires had been squelched. To a lesser extent, ground crews sometimes had a chance to enjoy the starry wilderness skies after a job had ended when they needed to wait a day for more trucks to come in and haul them out.
Charlotte leaned back so her upper body was completely lying down on the tabletop, with her feet still using the bench as a footrest. Ian followed suit, and they laid side by side in silence for several minutes, both looking up at the sky and trying to make out familiar constellations through the light from the nearby cities. Charlotte could feel her heart racing with nervous excitement at Ian’s proximity to her. Even though the way Ian acted annoyed her most of the time, she couldn’t shake the magnetic draw he had on her. And this moment felt somehow intimate, with the two of them alone beneath the stars. She hadn’t felt this way about anyone in a very long time.
Nearly thirty minutes had passed by the time Ian finally looked away from the night sky and over at Charlotte. Charlotte had almost thought he’d fallen asleep.
“I’m really sorry about the way I treated you when you first arrived. And for ignoring you the last week or so. Things have been…complicated.”
Charlotte frowned. “Complicated? Why? Because you’re attracted to me?” As soon as she said it, she regretted it. She should have just accepted his apology and moved on. Now she had made things weird. Well, weirder than they already were—with him spending most of his days avoiding her like the plague, and her secretly wondering if he was actually part animal.
But Ian didn’t flinch at the question. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to you,” Ian said, his eyes never leaving Charlotte’s. “But that’s not why I’ve been on edge so much. Well, it’s part of it, I guess. But the real issue is that my crew members are…different. And we dealt with a lot of shit because of it back when we were on a ground crew. The Forest Service promised us that if we went through the rigors of smokejumper training, then we could have our own crew. No outsiders allowed. But of course, Boise does what they want anyways, and they assigned you here. It’s nothing personal against you. You’re a great firefighter. That’s easy to see from the one mission we’ve had together so far. But you’re still not like us.”
“You’re not making any sense. How are you guys different? Because you just seem like normal smokejumpers to me.” Charlotte looked away from Ian’s gaze. Is it because you’re a shifter? she wondered. Just tell me. Let me in on your world.
But Ian kept things vague. “Well, we may not look that different, but we are.”
Charlotte sighed. “Everyone has their secrets, Ian.”
“Oh, really? What are yours?”
“You first,” Charlotte said.
“I already told you that I’m attracted to you. That counts as a secret. Now it’s your turn,” Ian said.
“You didn’t exactly confess to that. I asked if it was true and you confirmed it.”
Ian chuckled. “Still counts. Your turn.”
“Ok fine. Here’s a secret. I’m terrified of jumping out of planes.”
Ian propped himself up on his elbow and looked over at her. “Really? Then why the hell did you decide to become a smokejumper?”
Charlotte shrugged and glanced back over at Ian. “To prove I could do it, I guess. I don’t have much to live for, so I set really hard goals for myself to achieve. I guess it’s my way o
f providing myself with some sort of purpose for living.”
“What about your family? I saw a picture of them next to your space in the bunkhouse. Aren’t they worth living for?”
“They’re dead,” Charlotte said. “All of them. Died in a structural fire.” She saw Ian wince when she said the words, and she knew she had just made the moment awkward. But there really wasn’t an easy way to announce that your entire family was dead.
“Wow, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. It happened years ago now, so at least the wound isn’t so fresh anymore. But I still miss them every day. I became a firefighter as a way to get back at fire, in a small way, for what it stole from me. When I realized that smokejumping was the hardest firefighting program to get into, I went for it. I thought that after a season of jumping I would get over the fear of it, but it hasn’t happened yet. Statistically, I know that I should be fine. I know that our parachutes are top of the line, and that the odds of both the main parachute and reserve parachute not opening are astronomical. But it’s still hard to stand in the door of a plane and hurl yourself out. At least it is for me.”
“Is that why you know so much about how to fly a parachute? Are you overcompensating for your fear?”
“Well, yes. I started studying all of that stuff to help alleviate the dread I felt every time I had to jump. But the more I learned, the more interested I genuinely became in the subject. The physics of flying a parachute correctly are actually quite fascinating.”
“You know a lot.”
“I spent a lot of time on it. There are professional skydivers who teach canopy control courses. Most of their clients are military or recreational skydivers. I think I’m the first smokejumper to take the courses. Honestly, I think everyone should have to do that as part of smokejumper training, but, you know, no one asked me.”
“You could teach courses, during the offseason,” Ian said earnestly.
Charlotte laughed. “I’m not sure I’m qualified to teach courses.”
“Why not? You did a great job with the crew here. If you really want to get back at fire, training elite smokejumpers is another good way to do that.”
Charlotte stared up at the sky again, mulling over Ian’s words. What he said actually made quite a bit of sense. But she wasn’t sure if the powers that be would like the idea. And she wasn’t sure she wanted to take on responsibility for training lots of rough and tumble smokejumpers. They tended to be rowdy and hard to handle.
“I’ll think about it,” she said noncommittally. “Although I do have to say, it’s nice to get some actual compliments from you for once.”
Ian looked over at her sheepishly. “Sorry it’s been so crazy. I have my own issues to deal with, and, quite frankly, having a beautiful woman like you around has complicated things immensely. I know it’s not your fault, though, and I shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on you. I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better. Just know that if I’m ignoring you, it’s not because I don’t like you. It’s probably because I’m trying to get my feelings for you under control.”
Charlotte’s heart warmed at his words. She knew a romance between the crew chief and a crew member would be frowned upon, but after Ian flat out admitted his interest in her, she wanted him even more. His strong chest rose and fell in somewhat ragged breaths next to her, and she knew he was trying to keep his desires under control. Against her better judgment, she decided to see what would happen if she held his hand. She slid her hand slowly across the space between them and laced her fingers with his. She heard him make a sharp intake of breath as their skin touched, and she knew he must have felt the same electric spark she did. He stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed and started stroking the inside of her palm with his index finger.
“You’re not making things easier,” he said softly.
Charlotte didn’t say anything. She just closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of his finger stroking her hand. She relished the little warm ripples of delight that his touch sent coursing through her body. Every part of her felt alive with anticipation, and she felt a moisture growing in between her legs as her desire for him grew.
Ian turned his head to look at her, and when she met his gaze, his eyes were a beautiful swirling, blue-green sea. He looked at her lips and licked his own, then looked back up at her eyes.
“I’ve been such a jerk to you,” he said, his voice full of remorse. “You didn’t deserve to deal with all of that. You’re a good firefighter, and a good person. I love the way you go out of your way to help and teach the crew. I’m so sorry for the way I’ve acted.”
Charlotte gave Ian a small smile. “It’s okay,” she said. “I know you’ve got a lot on your plate, and I know you guys don’t like strangers. But I’m not a stranger anymore. I’m a friend, now. One you can trust.”
“Just a friend?” Ian asked, his voice turning husky. “Or is there a chance for more?”
Charlotte looked over at his swirling eyes and felt her heart racing even faster. His chiseled face was outlined sharply by the moonlight, and she saw his large bicep muscle twitch with anticipation. She saw a hunger in his eyes. The hunger of a man who was looking at the object of his passions with a deep desire. She had seen this look before, from the few boyfriends she’d had in college. But she’d never seen it quite this intense. Ian’s fierce gaze had almost an animal-like quality to it.
Animal. Was he an animal? She desperately wanted him to open up to her. Really open up. She thought about straight up asking him whether he believed in shifters, but she didn’t want to force the issue. If shifters did exist, and he was one of them, she wanted him to trust her enough to tell her on his own.
She looked into his churning eyes, and her stomach tightened with desire at the sight of his handsome face. She realized his question was still hanging in the air, but she wasn’t sure how to answer it. Was there a chance for more? Could they have a relationship, despite the fact that he was her crew chief? She knew Boise would frown on the idea, but, then again, they didn’t have to know.
“I don’t know, Ian,” Charlotte said slowly, her voice as full of emotion and pent up desire as his had been. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
Her protest was weak, and she knew it. The passion flooding her body was washing away any rational reasoning skills. He seemed to realize this, or to be suffering from the same lack of level-headedness himself, because he turned his body toward hers on the picnic table. He tentatively, slowly moved his lips toward hers. He gave her plenty of time to pull back if this wasn’t what she wanted, and her mind screamed at her to turn her head away. But her heart pounded with the excitement of the moment, and the closer his handsome face came to her, the more she was overcome with an uncontrollable yearning. She wanted this. She wanted him. It didn’t make sense, but, then, what in life ever did?
She had been through so much in the last few years. And she had given so much of herself to protect others. She deserved this—this one moment of pure, guilty pleasure. It only had to be one kiss. They didn’t have to do anything more, and no one ever had to know. Charlotte kept her face pointed in Ian’s direction, and parted her lips slightly as he came within an inch of her face.
When their lips met, Charlotte felt herself overcome with heat. It felt like the warmth of his body was all being transferred to her, as his mouth covered hers and he closed his eyes with a soft groan. He pushed his tongue into her mouth and let it dance with her tongue. The magnetic feeling that seemed to draw Charlotte to Ian grew stronger, and she couldn’t pull herself away. Not that she really wanted to, anyways. She closed her eyes and let herself be lost in the beauty of his kiss.
He reached over and put one hand on her cheek as he kissed her. Both breathless, their bodies pressed against each other as their tongues pressed together in their mouths. Charlotte pushed away the insistent little voice in her head telling her that this was a bad idea. She knew they could get caught, and that the higher ups would be none too pleased to see the
two of them making out on a picnic table outside the base hangar. But she was losing herself in the moment too much to care about little details like that. All she could think about was how warm Ian’s mouth felt on hers, and how strong his muscular body felt as he pushed harder against her. She ran her hands down his bare back and relished the feeling of his skin against her palm. She could feel his erection pressing against her, and she felt herself growing slick and wet in response to his excitement.
When he pulled back for a moment to catch his breath, he looked deep into her eyes, as though he was searching for something.
“What is it?” she asked, panting and breathless from their intense round of kissing.
“I don’t know, exactly. I’m completely head over heels for you. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone before. But…” he said, his voice trailing off.
“But what?” Charlotte asked.
“But, this feels dangerous. You know getting frisky with a crew member is frowned upon. Especially when one of those crew members is the chief. I feel like we’re playing with fire here. No pun intended.”
“Don’t be scared. I’m a good firefighter,” Charlotte said, grinning over at him.
Ian chuckled, and then looked at her with a serious expression. “I’m not sure how serious you are about me, Charlotte, but I already feel like I’ve passed the point of no return with you. I know we just met, and this is the first time we’ve kissed. But my heart feels bonded to you already. If I keep going, I’m not going to be able to stop. And I’m not sure if that’s what you want.”
“Bonded,” Charlotte repeated. “That’s an interesting way to put it. But that’s kind of how I feel with you, too. When I’m near you, I feel so drawn to you. Almost like a huge magnet is pulling me in. I don’t want you to stop, Ian. I want all of you.”
Ian closed his eyes briefly as she spoke, as if the emotion of the moment was too much for him to take in. Charlotte wasn’t sure how to interpret everything she was feeling right now, but she could feel the butterflies in her stomach fluttering wildly at every touch from Ian, and that was good enough for her. She would follow her butterflies. For once in her life, she would listen to her heart instead of her head.
Fire Bear Shifters: The Complete Series Page 4