Zach kept humming as he started repacking his parachute. He hadn’t found any problems with the gear, so he was ready for the next job assignment. He would probably be waiting another month for an assignment, but, now that the weather was beginning to heat up again, it was best to be prepared at all times.
Zach’s happy solitude was interrupted a few minutes later by the sound of women laughing. He frowned as he heard their voices getting closer, and he tried to quickly finish packing his gear up so that he could leave the hangar. He couldn’t complete the task fast enough, however. As he yanked the flaps of his parachute rig closed, he saw Bailey round the corner of the hangar. She was holding a large, clear plastic container, and was looking over her shoulder to talk to someone behind her.
“We can set these supplies up for now, and then go back to get more if we need to. But I think this should give us a really good start.”
Zach rolled his eyes. Not only had Ian let Bailey, yet another human, move out to base to live with the crew, but he had also given her permission to run her jewelry business out of the hangar. Zach didn’t think that an airplane hangar was a good place to do arts and crafts, but Ian had stood firm, saying that they had plenty of room and there was no reason for Bailey to have to spend the money to rent office space in town.
Zach felt a pang of sadness hit him as he realized that it had been a long time since he and Ian had engaged in a conversation that didn’t end in an argument. Zach missed the good old days, when Ian was his best friend and they would spend hours hanging out, drinking beers, and just enjoying life. They both still referred to each other as best friends, but their arguments had been outshining any sense of camaraderie for the last year, at least.
“Good morning, Zach,” Bailey said brightly.
Zach grunted in response, picking up his gear to put it away and get away from the hangar as fast as he could. As he turned to put the parachute on its rack, however, he heard a familiar voice behind him.
“Good morning, Zach.”
Zach froze. That couldn’t possibly be who he thought it was, could it? He sniffed the air, and her scent hit him in full force. Slowly, he turned around, and found himself face to face with Mindy. An unexpected rush of conflicting emotions ran through him. He felt the warmth of desire creeping through his veins as his bear roared within him at the sight of Mindy. He felt embarrassment at having to face her again after the ungentlemanly way he had left her the last time he saw her. And he felt anger at himself, for being attracted to a human and caring about what that human thought of him.
“What are you doing here?” he snarled at her. She didn’t flinch or back away. Instead, she gave him the same sort of sickly sweet smile he had given her at the hospital right before flipping her off.
“Working,” she said. “I’m going to be helping Bailey with her jewelry business, so I’ll be hanging around here a lot. We’ll get to see each other all the time. Isn’t that fabulous?”
Zach snarled again, and turned on his heel to leave the hangar.
“Ian approved it, so don’t even try going to complain to him about it,” Bailey called after him.
Zach felt his stomach lurch at Bailey’s words. He felt like he didn’t even know who Ian was anymore. Just a year ago, Ian had been similarly opposed to having any humans around the hangar. But ever since Ian had taken a human lifemate, he’d gone soft and forgotten the danger that humans could pose to shifters.
As soon as Zach made it around the corner of the hangar, where Bailey and Mindy couldn’t see him anymore, he gave the grassy earth a giant, frustrated kick. For the first time, he let the thought of leaving his clan seriously cross his mind. Even a week ago, he would have never dreamed of considering such a thing. But he felt like he didn’t fit in anymore, and everything around here made him unhappy. The crew tolerated him, but only out of a sense of duty. He knew they all hated his attitude and thought he was out of line most of the time. And, honestly, he was starting to feel like he didn’t like anyone on the crew anymore. Not even Ian.
Zach felt miserable, but he couldn’t tell anyone why. He was trapped in this web of secrets, and the only way out was to put the whole clan at risk. He knew he could never do that, no matter how tense things had become. Worrying him more than anything, though, was the way he felt when Mindy was around.
He could never be with her, because she was human. And yet, his bear insisted on feeling all sorts of things when she was around that he’d never felt before. The rush of excitement was familiar—that satisfying sensation of desire that a potential new love interest sent coursing through your veins whenever they were around. Zach had felt that before, for sure. But he felt something in addition to that, something deeper. Whenever Mindy was nearby, he felt like the atoms of his body were being literally drawn to her. She had some sort of magnetic pull on him, drawing him in as though she had an actual physical connection to him.
Zach covered his face as he realized in horror what that magnetic pull was: the lifemate bond.
“No,” he roared, and took off running toward the bunkhouse. This had to be some sort of mistake. He didn’t trust humans. He didn’t want them around. He couldn’t possibly become bonded to one. There’s no way that he was actually fated to be lifemates with a human. Was there? What kind of sick, cosmic joke would that be?
Zach suddenly felt trapped, like he needed to get out of here now. What was the point in staying, anyway? Sure, he liked his job. But the crew didn’t like being around him, and he didn’t particularly enjoy being around them, since it meant being around their human lifemates all the time. Every day around here had become a painful reminder of how he would never be able to look in a human’s eyes with trust ever again. And, speaking of humans, he didn’t want to be around Mindy for another second. Every moment he spent around her was a moment spent fighting off traitorous feelings of desire. How could his bear be so attracted to a human when it knew how Traci had betrayed him?
There was only one answer to this situation: he needed to leave. He needed to get out of here without telling anyone, and go somewhere where he could truly be alone and have time to think. He would get a duffel bag, throw in some clothes and a few personal items, and go somewhere far, far away. He didn’t see any other option.
As he burst through the front door of the bunkhouse, he ran smack into Ian.
“What the hell, Zach,” Ian said, rubbing his forehead where Zach had just collided with him. “Slow down.”
“What the hell?” Zach said. “You’re really going to stand there and ask me ‘what the hell?’ How about I ask you ‘what the hell, now not only are human lifemates allowed to hang around base but you’re letting them bring their human friends out here, too.’ What kind of alpha are you? You’re putting everything at risk.”
Ian sighed. “I’m assuming this is about Bailey’s friend?”
“Yes, it is. It’s about Bailey’s friend. Who, in case you haven’t noticed, is the human friend of a human lifemate. And now she’s apparently allowed to just waltz around the hangar. What are you thinking, Ian? When are you going to step up and act like an alpha? It’s your job to protect the crew. You have to stop turning a blind eye to the fact that humans can’t be trusted.”
“I knew you were going to throw a fit about this the soon as you found out,” Ian said wearily. “Look, I’ll tell you what has to stop—and it’s not my letting humans on base. It’s your letting humans hold your heart captive with fear. What kind of a bear are you, anyway? Always cowering in the corner when there’s a human around. Always looking over your shoulder, like there’s someone just waiting to expose you and ruin your life. That’s no way to live, Zach. If you choose to live that way, that’s on you. But I’m not going to force the rest of the crew to wallow in bitterness and fear just because you do.”
“Maybe it’s not the best way to live, but it’s the way I have to live,” Zach said. “And maybe I am over-paranoid, but you’re under-paranoid. You keep trusting people that you don’t know
that well, and one of these days it’s going to come back to bite you.”
“I don’t just make these decisions lightly, like you seem to think,” Ian said. “Bailey may be human, but she’s one of the clan now. She’s agreed to be Trevor’s lifemate, and I don’t doubt her loyalty. She deserves to be treated with respect and trust. And she deserves our help with her new business. She needed to hire an employee, and she found someone who helped save her life at the hospital. Mindy also selflessly loaned Bailey money when Bailey had nothing. I don’t have any reason to doubt that Mindy is a wonderful human, who just wants to help out one of our clan members. Mindy’s being on base for a few hours to help Bailey out here and there is not putting our clan at any significant risk. Nobody’s going to shift around her, and nobody’s going to tell her that we’re shifters. It’s really no more risk than when one of us goes into town and walks around. Unless there’s an emergency and a reason to shift, Mindy will never know that she’s working in the middle of a bunch of bears. And an emergency could happen anywhere, at any time—not just at the hangar. Having Mindy around isn’t some big, extra risk.”
“She’s a big risk to me,” Zach said. “Don’t you get that?”
By the end of his sentence, Zach had raised his voice and was yelling. He knew Ian’s patience with him was running out, but he didn’t care anymore. Zach just wanted to leave, and he wanted Ian to know how he felt before he left.
Zach’s yelling caused Ian to lose his temper, too.
“And why is it such a big risk to you, specifically? What makes you so special?” Ian yelled, putting his face directly in Zach’s face.
“Because every time I see her, my bear gets demanding and restless,” Zach said, before he really thought about what he was saying. “I can’t deal with that. I can’t be attracted to a human.”
Ian’s eyes widened with surprise at Zach’s words. He blinked silently a few times before responding.
“Your bear wants her?” Ian asked, his voice returning to a normal tone. “Wants her, as in…is drawn to her?”
“Yes, is drawn to her. Meaning exactly what I know you’re hinting at—my bear thinks that Mindy is my lifemate. But there’s no way that’s happening. I can’t have a human for a lifemate. If that’s my only option, then I’ll just remain single. I refuse to trust any of their kind again.”
Ian’s expression softened somewhat at Zach’s words. “Zach, you know better. If she’s your lifemate, you won’t be able to just push those feelings away. You’ll feel incomplete and empty until you let her into your life. But, more importantly, regardless of whether Mindy is your lifemate or not, you have to find a way to get past this bitterness that you feel. I know Traci hurt you. I know you think I don’t know all of the details and can’t understand. But, while I may not know all the details, what I do know is this: you used to be full of life, and happy. Even after the rockslide where we lost most of our clan, and you almost lost your life, you have always been strong. You’ve been a solid, steady person, who could withstand any heartache. I don’t know why Traci leaving you affected you so badly, but, as your alpha and as your best friend it kills me to see you like this.”
“Well, it kills me too, believe me. But the more you try to get me to trust humans again, the more you just alienate yourself from me. I’ll never trust them again,” Zach said, his words thick with hatred.
“No one is saying that you have to trust every human fully, or even that you have to trust any human fully, at least not right away. But you should take some small steps to learn how to stop living your life in complete fear. If you find yourself drawn to Mindy, then why don’t you just ask her to have lunch with you? It doesn’t even have to be a date. It can just be lunch as friends. Tell her you want to buy her a meal to apologize for the way you yelled at her. And don’t try to say you didn’t yell at her. I know you did, because you yell at every human that comes by here, and then you come yell at me,” Ian said, crossing his arms and giving Zach a disapproving look.
Zach looked sheepishly down at the floor. He did have a pretty bad track record.
Ian uncrossed his arms and continued talking. “You don’t have to do anything at lunch except be a polite, normal person. Just one meal, Zach. If you give it a fair chance, I think you’ll realize that Mindy is an outstanding human with a good heart. She would never betray her friends.”
“I thought the same thing about Traci,” Zach spat out.
Ian sighed. “I tell you what: eat one meal with Mindy. Keep an open mind, and give her a fair shot. If you still tell me that you honestly think she’s some huge risk to the clan, then I won’t let her work around here anymore. But you have to give it a fair shot. I think once you do, you’ll see that she’s not so bad, after all.”
Zach shook his head sadly. “How am I supposed to do that? I can’t just go having meals with a woman who might be my lifemate. It’s only going to make the magnetic draw worse.”
“Well, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Like I said, I think she’s a great person. And, if you’re drawn to her, that’s all the more reason you should give her a chance. Maybe you’re missing out on an amazing lifemate because of your stupid, bitter prejudices. This is my offer, Zach. Take it or leave it. But if you want Mindy gone, you’ll have to go have a meal with her first. If you do that, and in all sincerity tell me afterward that you still don’t want her around, then I’ll tell her to go.”
“You’re being unreasonable. I don’t even want to talk to you anymore,” Zach said, then snarled at Ian and pushed his way into the bunkhouse. But Zach knew deep down that he was the one who was being unreasonable. He felt himself faltering in his decision to pack up and leave. Maybe he should just take Ian up on his offer. Zach didn’t want to have lunch with Mindy, because he feared where it might lead—both for reasons of not trusting humans, and for reasons of worrying that Mindy was his lifemate. But what Zach did want was to prove Ian wrong. And if all he had to do to get Mindy banned from base was to spend one hour having lunch with her, then maybe it would be worth it. Feeling a little guilty, but a little smug, Zach turned on his heel. He headed out of the bunkhouse and back to the hangar.
He held his head high and strode through the large, open back doors. Then he walked right up to where Mindy and Bailey were leaning over a large container of assorted glass beads, waiting for them to notice him and look up. Their faces both took on a guarded, suspicious expression when they saw him.
Zach took a deep breath, and tried to muster up as much sincerity in his voice as he could.
“Listen, Mindy,” he said. “I think you and I got started off on the wrong foot, and I’m really sorry about that. I’m sorry that I stormed out of here in anger, and I’m sorry that I flipped you off the other day at the hospital. I also want you to know that I really appreciate your driving me home from the bar the other night. Would you be willing to let me take you to lunch, as a gesture of my appreciation for what you’ve done for me? You can pick the place and the day. If you’re going to be around here working with Bailey all the time, then you and I should at least be on decent speaking terms. What do you say?”
Mindy looked surprised, then narrowed her eyes at Zach. “This isn’t supposed to be a date, is it?” she asked.
Zach resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Why did women always think that every time you ate a meal or had a cup of coffee with them it had to be a date? “No, not a date. Don’t worry. I just want to get lunch together as friends.”
Mindy paused for a moment, still looking unsure of herself. She looked Zach up and down, as if trying to decide whether he was pulling her leg or something. Zach felt a pang of guilt, since he did have an ulterior motive. But he told himself that it was for the good of his clan, and tried to keep a pleasant, neutral expression on his face. Finally, Mindy nodded.
“Okay,” she said. “What about next Tuesday? There’s a pizza place a few blocks away from the hospital where I work that I really like. It’s called Jim’s Pizza. We could meet there
at noon.”
“Sounds good,” Zach said. “I’ll see you then. And, in the meantime, I’ll leave you two ladies to your jewelry.”
Zach turned and hurried out of the hangar. He had to get away from Mindy before the bear inside of him went completely wild. He had never felt his inner beast get so excited at the mere sight and smell of a woman. But every time he saw Mindy, the feeling only grew stronger. Traci had certainly never had this effect on him. As soon as he disappeared out of the hangar and around the corner, he paused to take a few deep breaths. Just as he felt his breathing returning to normal, he heard Bailey’s voice drifting out of the building.
“Wow. I’ve never seen him be so nice to anyone,” Bailey said. “Especially to someone he barely knows. You must have the magic touch.”
Zach winced at Bailey’s words. He wasn’t being nice. He was being an asshole, and acting like he cared about Mindy in an effort to keep her away from the hangar. He felt his resolve to have lunch with Mindy weakening. He hated the feeling of uncertainty that clouded every decision he made these days.
With his mind swirling, Zach ran back to the bunkhouse, and went up to the deserted top floor. The crew used the area up there for storage, and hardly anyone ever went up to the room. Zach lay down on his back on the dirty wooden floor and stared at the ceiling, sneezing a few times at the dust he had stirred up. He needed to be alone for a few minutes to have some time to think.
It wasn’t just Ian who didn’t know who Zach was anymore. Zach realized that he didn’t even know himself. He used to believe that he was a good person, but now he wasn’t so sure. If he took an honest look at himself in the mirror, could he really say that he was the kind of person he would want to be friends with? He had become bitter and mean, but he didn’t know how to change that.
Zach sat up slowly, and looked around the dark, dusty room. Then he stood up and walked over to where several storage boxes with his name on them had been taped shut and piled into neat stacks. He pulled down two of the boxes to reveal a third box that wasn’t sealed. Looking around to make sure that he really was alone, he pulled the box down and opened it. Inside, he sifted through piles and piles of folders, each containing records of search after failed search in his effort to locate his cub. His whole life was in this box. His whole, failed life.
Fire Bear Shifters: The Complete Series Page 41