Addicted to the Light

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Addicted to the Light Page 7

by S. E. Amadis


  “Take care,” he whispered, burying his face in my thick waves.

  “Well, you know the name of the town they’re in,” I said.

  Calvin scowled.

  “Yeah, but no address. They could be anywhere there. Why didn’t you just tell them you were going there by car, and ask Grant to drive you? Then at least you would’ve got an address or directions on how to arrive there, or something.”

  I shook my head.

  “They were quite adamant, they wanted me to come by bus, and they’d pick me up at the station.”

  Calvin tightened his arms about me.

  “That sounds pretty creepy and suspicious to me.”

  I pushed at his arms.

  “Don’t get so paranoid.”

  “Me? Paranoid?”

  He resisted and pulled more tightly at me.

  “And after all that’s happened to you, I would’ve thought you’d be the first one to jump off the deep end at anything amiss.”

  I raised my finger sagely.

  “It’s precisely because of everything that’s happened to me that I now go places with my eyes wide open. I have no illusions, you know. I’m aware anyone can be a scam artist. That actually makes it harder for anyone to pull the wool over my eyes,” I reasoned.

  I wandered over to where Romeo was leaning against the windowsill, contemplating the street twenty-six floors below.

  “Pretty cool view, isn’t it, punk?” I said.

  Romeo shrugged.

  “People look like ants from up here. Ants you can squash with your finger.” He smooshed his fingertip down on the windowsill. “Do you think those people we’re going to see have Lindsay squashed like that?”

  I tried to laugh.

  “Where’d you get such a silly idea like that, honey pops?”

  “From the things you say about Lindsay.” Romeo drew circles on the windowsill with his finger. “I’m not deaf or dumb, you know. I hear the things you and Calvin say about Lindsay. About how she’s lost her head and all that, and how it’s those people who made her lose it.”

  I clasped him on the shoulder and pulled his chin towards me, studying him. This grave and overly-savvy eleven-year-old was a far cry from the scruffy kid I’d known even a few months back, before all the terrible things that had happened to him. Before Bruno and his accomplice, Sandy Bleckley, had locked us up and tried to kill us. Before he’d nearly died of thirst and almost watched his mother die in front of his eyes.

  I hugged him.

  “Nothing’s going to happen to us, baby. I’ll make sure of that.”

  “Yeah, right.” Romeo shrugged out of my grasp. “Like you protected us from that freak Bruno, right?”

  Calvin reached over and whacked him on the shoulder.

  “Oh hey, kiddo. You watch your language there,” he scolded. “Thanks to your mother Bruno never laid a finger on you. You hear?” He raised his hand sternly. “Thanks to the fact that she took all the rap for you, you’re here safe and sound today and with not a scratch on you.”

  Romeo nodded, then scowled.

  “Yeah, I know. But still, she couldn’t save us when they had us locked down in the basement. She’s not Wonder Woman, you know.”

  He grinned at me all of a sudden.

  “You’re a pretty close second, but you don’t quite make it, Mimi,” he said with a mischievous smirk.

  I smiled at the use of his pet name for me. Ever since everything that had happened to us at the hands of Bruno, he had reverted to calling me Mami most of the time, the way he used to when he was a toddler. But every once in a while that old Mimi would come idling back into his vocabulary. And the truth was, I preferred it when he called me Mimi. It seemed... more original.

  I plunked my overnight bag onto my desk and rummaged through it, snatching out a cream-coloured sweater just in case it got cool in the night.

  “We’re running late.” I sighed. “Wish me luck.”

  Calvin treated me to one last, overwhelming embrace, then followed Romeo and me to the door and waited while I locked up the office.

  Chapter 11

  Grant was already pacing a swathe on the concrete floor when we arrived at the bus station, and we grabbed the bus with only a few minutes to spare.

  “Aren’t you scared?” he asked as I settled on a seat next to Romeo while he took the place right behind us.

  “No.” I wiped my sleeve against the hazy window. “They’re only people, for fuck’s sake. Not monsters. Not bone-cracking machines. Just people.”

  I turned to gaze at him.

  “Well, people can do some pretty bloody scary things,” he remarked.

  The town where the sect, er, eco-community, was located was barely a hamlet nestled deep in the heart of a towering forest. Centuries-old oaks and sprawling pines brooded over us as the bus wended its way down a narrow trail, then dropped us off at a rough-hewn log cabin designated simply “Bus Station”.

  Grant glanced around and snuggled down into his Scottish sweater as he contemplated the gloom.

  “This is where Linds is hanging out now?” he mused. “Well, I can see the romance and all that here, but still... We had plenty of romance back in the city too, you know.”

  A battered white van pulled into a parking space next to us and Lindsay jumped out from the passenger seat. I caught a glimpse of the blonde girl barely out of her teens, Tikvah, whom we’d met at the restaurant. Her fingers drummed on the steering wheel with impatience as she observed us closely, obviously keeping close guard on Lindsay.

  I stared at my best friend in a daze. After all we’d had to go through for me to be reunited with her, I could hardly believe I was beholding her for real and in the flesh again. The only thing I could do was ogle at her for a long moment. Then the next thing I knew I was pelting towards her and leaping into her arms. We grasped onto each other and started jumping up and down and shrieking.

  After a while I wriggled away and held her at arm’s length, studying her up and down. She’d exchanged her usual smart city wear for a costume similar to the one boasted by the girl in the restaurant. A long-sleeved cotton calico dress covered her to her ankles. Her golden curls, which used to glint brightly in the sun, had turned a dull mousey shade and I swore she even bore a few wrinkles I’d never noticed before. I was surprised at how gaunt she looked after such a short time away.

  “What’s up?” I asked, a bit concerned. “You’re not looking too well, my dear.”

  Lindsay shook her head vehemently.

  “But I’ve never felt better in my life!” she declared.

  I fingered her delicate curls. A few strands stuck to my hand.

  “Your hair’s falling out,” I cried.

  Once again she shook her head.

  “I’m fine. My hair started falling out in clumps a few days ago, but they said it’s just because I’m full of toxins from living in the contaminated outside world. But I’ll be right as rain as soon I get rid of all that toxic junk and all that wholesome, organic food really starts taking effect in me. I’m also hungry most of the time, but they say it’s cos we’re used to stuffing our faces in the outside world, and that’s why the world’s so full of fat guys and people suffering from heart attacks and all that crap. No one in the community has ever suffered a heart attack.”

  She yakked on like a parrot, providing a convenient, ready-made explanation for everything I commented on, and I didn’t question her affirmations. Personally, I liked to enjoy my food and I certainly didn’t like going hungry! But maybe that was just me.

  Grant tapped her on the shoulder, trying to grab her attention but she made as if to ignore him.

  “Lindsay,” he mumbled towards her rigid back. “Linds.”

  He turned a desperate gaze at me.

  “You know, Linds. In my studies, we learn that usually when people lose a lot of hair, it’s from a lack of proper nutrients, especially B vitamins. Not from an overload of toxins. And you say you’re hungry all the time. You probably
aren’t getting enough to eat. Don’t they feed you?”

  Lindsay tugged open the side door of the van. I noticed she had laid out the back seat. The vinyl was covered with dirt, but she’d cleaned an ample space for us.

  “They don’t have too many vehicles in the community,” Lindsay gushed on, apparently turning deaf ears to Grant’s logical explanations. “They’re very ecological, they don’t want to pollute the air so they keep their vehicles to the bare minimum necessary. We need vehicles so we can go to sell at local farmers’ markets and all that. Otherwise, we wouldn’t keep them at all. Well, get in, Annie.”

  She turned to Romeo and tousled his hair fondly.

  “I’m so happy you thought to bring Romeo along. He’ll love it here, you just wait and see.”

  Finally, she turned to Grant. He kept biting his lip, boring his gaze into her, and I could tell he was having a hard time hiding his pained expression. Seizing him by the shoulder, Lindsay walked away with him out of earshot, and they idled together behind some bushes, speaking in low voices. I heard them wrangling for a while, their voices growing heated, although I couldn’t make out the words.

  At last they returned. Grant shook his head ruefully at me and headed for the bus stop across the highway. Lindsay walked towards me biting her lip.

  “He’s leaving me, Annie,” she wailed. “He said he can’t get over the change in me, and he’s going back to the city. I thought he could at least try things out here. We’d be so good together, out here. And medical workers are always especially valued in the community, because there are so few of them.”

  She hung her head, sighing, and pointed at the back seat of the van.

  “Get in, Shakes,” she said to Romeo, using her affectionate nickname for him.

  Romeo climbed in obediently, without a word. He seemed a bit overwhelmed by everything.

  I crossed the highway and walked up to Grant.

  “You’re leaving?” I said.

  Grant nodded. Tears glistened in his eyes.

  “Look, Annasuya, I care about her. Really, I do. But I can’t imagine myself making a life for me way out here in this wilderness, in this jungle.”

  “I’d hardly call this a jungle—” I began, but Grant raised his hand, cutting me off.

  “You know what I mean. If she’d wanted a neat house in the suburbs or something, or even regular country living, with a farm or something, I’d be all game for it. But not this isolation. Not this... this complete and total hermeticism. Do you know that they shun the outside world, and their new members eventually end up giving up all contact with the rest of the world? I refuse to give up my friends, my family, my lifestyle. I won’t be sucked into this. I’m sorry, Annie.”

  Wagging his head, he strolled to the bench without looking up at us and took a seat to await the next bus back to the city.

  I returned to the van.

  “Well, looks like it’s just the three of us. Right, kiddo?” Lindsay tried to speak jokingly, but her face pinched up. “You’ll see, Ann. You’ll love this place. You’ll love the people. I can’t wait to present you to everyone.”

  *

  The path back to the location of this mysterious community was so labyrinthine that soon I completely lost my orientation and could no longer keep track of the number of twists and turns we carried out in the dense foliage.

  “How do you people know the way there?” I asked, puzzled. “Don’t you get lost?”

  Lindsay bit at her bottom lip.

  “Well, so far I’m never allowed out alone anyway. But I did used to get disoriented, at the beginning,” she explained after a pause. “But after riding with other people a few times, I started to get used to it. It’s always the same trail, so in the end, you do end up memorizing it. But at the beginning it can get confusing, you’re right. That’s why we always insist on picking people up in town.”

  Tikvah pulled into an enormous clearing. In the distance I could see scattered trailers and mobile homes surrounded by planted fields. Up at the top of a hill, an immense mansion glowered down at us.

  Lindsay hopped out.

  “Leave your bags there while I go up and ask the elders where you’re going to stay tonight,” she said, then motioned with her head. “Come on. The party’s about to begin. We’ll put your bags away later.”

  I hesitated. But it wasn’t like we had much choice. I decided to trust Lindsay.

  We climbed a steep stairway carved in stone on the hillside which led up to the mansion. As we drew nearer, I could see that the mansion looked colonial, constructed of thick grey stones with a sloping black slate roof and gable windows. An ample porch sat out front, sustained by ornate columns painted white. Broad windows surrounded the structure, peering out in every direction. There was mosquito netting in every window.

  Lindsay led us onto the porch and held open a swinging screen door. She pushed on the inside door, which was made of plain wood. The beige paint on the door was old and cracked. A half-moon shaped window graced the top of the door.

  “This is our main lodge,” she said. “It’s where we eat and hold all our gatherings. And the elders live here too.”

  She flung her arms out wide, indicating the isolated trailers dotting the landscape.

  “The rest of the members live out there in trailers and mobile homes. But it’s really neat. We get to decorate our trailer any way we like.”

  She exchanged a grin with Tikvah.

  “I share my trailer with her.”

  She gestured towards her roomie.

  “She insists on decorating her side of the trailer in baby pink and we fight about that all the time. She’s so girlie. But you know I prefer green. She’s fairly new too, well obviously she’s been here longer than me. I’m the newest member.”

  She lifted her arms up and held them out wide open towards the sky with a beatific expression.

  “But I hope to stay here for the rest of my life,” she said.

  Chapter 12

  “Well, whoop-de-do,” I said. “So you get to decorate your trailer any way you like. But once upon a time you had your own apartment, remember? And you got to decorate that any way you liked, too.” I fidgeted with my fingers. “Don’t you miss it?”

  Lindsay swept her gaze out over the fields. For a moment her expression waxed nostalgic. Then she clamped down on her weakness and turned a forcibly cheery face at me.

  “Nope. And besides which, when I used to have my own apartment, I also used to live in sin. And I was isolated. I didn’t even know my neighbours. I wouldn’t’ve been able to point them out in a line-up. Here I know every single person, and they’re all interested in me.”

  She pushed the door open wide. Someone shrieked with delight inside.

  “New faces!” a young girl cried.

  A minute later, a teenaged girl careened into view. Her golden hair was braided down her back and like everyone else, she wore a calico dress that swept to her ankles. A miniature version of her, only with black braids instead of blonde ones and a plain blue dress followed her around a countertop to meet us. I smiled at her, and she stuck her fingers into her mouth shyly and looked away.

  “Look, Annasuya, this is Devrah,” Lindsay gushed, seizing the teenaged girl by the shoulders. “And her sister, Rivkah.”

  I smiled and stuck my hand out politely. But Devrah grabbed it and started pumping it up and down with enthusiasm.

  “Annasuya! I’m so glad you came,” she cried. “We hardly ever get to see new faces here.”

  Lindsay pushed at Romeo while he hung back awkwardly.

  “And look, Devrah. This is Romeo. Another young person to keep you company. I’m sure you’re going to have great fun showing him about. And who knows, they’ll probably send you out to work in the fields together, so you won’t be so lonely out there.”

  I gaped at Lindsay in horror.

  “Send Romeo out to work in the fields?” I exclaimed. “What the hell are you talking about, Linds? No one’s sending my son a
nywhere.”

  Lindsay stepped back, abashed. Her hands flew over her mouth.

  “Oh, I’m-I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean... Of course your son’s not going to work anywhere.” She tried to grin, but I could tell it was fake. “I-I just meant, he’d probably enjoy taking a walk with Devrah and Rivkah tomorrow, while they show him all the fruits and veggies. We grow them all ourselves,” she added, sticking her breast out with pride.

  I nodded, unconvinced. Romeo merely limited himself to staring around with his eyes popping out. Lindsay ushered us quickly into the spacious main room. It had obviously once been a parlour, with well-worn wood floors and faded paint on the walls. The wide bay window looked out over the porch and the lands. Tiny pinpricks of light dotted the landscape. I assumed those must be the trailers.

  Lindsay settled us on wooden chairs, then she and the two young girls began passing drinks around to us. Recently fried, crispy corn chips were whisked around the room along with canapés smothered in cream cheese and pickled onions and olives.

  “They pickle the onions and olives themselves,” Lindsay fell over herself with praise. “Like just about everything else here. This community is almost completely self-sufficient and produces all of its own everything.”

  Strangers started shuffling in, and all of them nodded to us courteously. The women strode over to us and grasped our hands while the men maintained an impersonal distance. One woman in particular stalked right over and kissed Romeo and me on both cheeks.

  “I’m Chaya,” she exclaimed in overly bright tones, “the mother of Devrah and Rivkah. Welcome to our community.”

  I studied Chaya discreetly. There was hardly anything to set her apart from any of the other women. Tall and bony, dressed in long, trailing skirts with lacklustre braids of a dishwater sort of colour hanging down her back. However, her demeanour was hard, disciplined.

  “Chaya’s not only a mother, she’s also the community teacher as well,” Lindsay whispered. “Kids here don’t go to school outside. They’re not subjected to the scourge of impersonalized studies that don’t take into account each individual child’s personal preferences, strengths and weaknesses.”

 

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