by B. M. Hardin
Dear Yaya and Chanel,
If you’re hearing this, that means my time came a little too soon. I’ve had this policy for years, but never really thought about who I would want to leave it to when I died. I guess I thought I would have a husband and kids by now, but if you’re hearing this, I’m sure that means that I never got either one of those things. Bummer. I guess finding love or having some little people to call you Mama are gifts that not everyone is meant to receive. I thought about leaving this to Aunt Jo. She did good by us, once Mama was gone, but lord knows she probably would’ve spent the whole thing on weight-loss pills and pork skins. Anyway, so it goes to the both of you. My whole life, you guys have competed for a love that was always equal. I love you both, equally, beyond words, beyond thought, and I wished that you could see in each other, what I see in both of you. If I’m gone, trust me, you girls need each other more than you think you do. And maybe by now some bad things have happened, but that’s life move on already. Yaya, Chanel is horrible for what she done. And I’m sure you know what I’m referring to by now. But don’t let that stop you from being you. Take this money and start a new life. I’m sure that it can probably come in handy since you signed a prenup like a dummy. LOL. But our friendship was one of the best things that ever happened to me. And Chanel, flawed and all, I love you. I even love the bad in you. You are more than you think you are. Use your potential…not your pussy. And make me proud. You just never know how much time you have left. Look at me. Anyway, find peace. Find love. Find happiness. Find life. I hoped by my last breath, I had found something. And if not, maybe the best for me was waiting for me on the other side.
Love always, your twin and your best friend.
Chevey Marie
I was stuck. Literally. I couldn’t even cry, although I wanted to. Chanel was bawling like a newborn baby. and all I could do was sit there.
“So, ladies, she had a $100,000 policy, and its split right down the middle.”
“She can have it all.” We both said at the same exact time.
“Take it, I don’t need it,” I said.
“Take it, I don’t want it,” she cried.
“Can we have a moment, please?”
The lawyer nodded and then she left the room.
I figured that I was just going to come right out and ask her. “Chanel, why did Jerome send you a checking account number and say to use it for me? Use it how? For what?”
Chanel looked at me. She cried and it was as though, something clicked in her head.
“I know what you and Jerome were trying to do. I know about your plan.”
I froze and my eyes grew big.
“Your brother was supposed to kill me. When the police officers questioned me that day, they mentioned a text message to Dakota that I knew that I hadn’t sent to him. So, when I got home, I told Jerome that if he didn’t tell me what was going on, I was going to go to the police and tell them that I thought that he was trying to lure Dakota there for a reason. That’s when he broke down and told me the truth. He told me everything.”
I exhaled loudly.
“I couldn’t believe that he’d actually planned to kill me. I couldn’t believe that he’d known about the affair. I’d hurt him so much that he’d actually wanted me dead. And Chevey, she’d wanted to ride with me that day to the store, but my greedy ass insisted that she stay and look after my pot that was on the stove. I was always trying to boss her around. I always wanted her to do what I wanted her to do. She wouldn’t be dead if I’d just let her ride with me.”
I was still stuck on Jerome’s confession.
He’d told her the truth?
He’d told her our plan?
Chanel was crying hard.
“So, when he told you, why didn’t you go to the police?”
“And tell them what? Jerome has never been a good cop. We’ve done plenty of illegal things together. HE’s given me money that he’s taken off of dope boys and everything. If I told on him, there was plenty that he could tell on me. And if I know Jerome, somewhere, he hid some proof. He’s a cop. He always has a back-up plan.”
“And what about the account?”
Chanel breathed. “He wanted me to black-mail you. For money.”
“What?”
“He wanted to wait and see if Dakota was convicted of helping your brother kill Chanel. And once he went to jail, and you got all of his money, he wanted to use me to blackmail you. Freak you out and tell you that I knew about the plan, and then I would threaten you and tell you that I would go to the police. Unless you paid.”
That dirty, mother---
“But no amount of money can bring Chevey back.”
I was trying to force myself to say something, but all I could think about was that I was glad that Jerome and I hadn’t been able to have sex in the car that day. That bastard had tried to play me!
“I told him the truth about the baby and he even went with me the second time to have the abortion. He’d said that we could try again once we got the money out of you and ran away together. But of course, now, I can’t have a baby.” Chanel continued to sob.
Jerome had been lying to me that day at the park. He knew that Chanel had gotten rid of the baby.
“Even if Dakota got off, he still wanted me to blackmail you. He said at that point, I could bring Dakota into the mix to see how much he was willing to pay to keep you out of jail. He couldn’t blackmail you, because he was involved, of course. And since there wasn’t much proof, linking him to the murders, he’d said that he could deny his involvement and say that it was all you, if you ever mentioned him. But he said he had something that could definitely put things on you. Maybe he recorded a conversation or something. I’m not sure.”
I was at a loss for words. I should’ve known better than to trust him. I should’ve been covering my ass, just like he’d been covering his. And though she was right about everything that she’d said, I still didn’t verbally admit to trying to kill her. I still didn’t trust her.
“Dakota and I were a mistake. I don’t even know how, or why it happened. It just did. We’ve never liked each other, but I didn’t think that I would start sleeping with your husband. It just happened. If it matters, he approached me.”
I didn’t comment.
Chanel wasn’t crying anymore and she was giving me a lot of eye-contact, and it was starting to creep me out.
“You know, I stole Jerome from Chevey,” she said.
“What?”
“He’d saw Chevey first. He thought that he’d saw me, but actually it was her. He talked about how he’d watched me from afar all night at a bar that I was never at. And I knew that Chevey had gone there. He’d said that he’d promised himself that if he ever saw me again, that he was going to speak to me and one day make me his wife. Only really, he was referring to Chevey. But I didn’t tell him that it was her. I wanted him for myself. And, he did just what he promised to do. He married me. I was a horrible sister!”
Wow.
“I was always taking from her, when she always gave to me. And---,”
“Chanel. Just go.”
“What?”
“Let’s forget about all of the bad decisions that we’ve made and go. The whole $100,000 is yours. Take it and just go. You can take Jerome with you if you want to, or not. Just get out of here.”
Whether she took Jerome with her or not, with her gone, his little plan to get money from me wouldn’t work.
“Forgive yourself. That’s what Chevey would want you to do. And just a heads up, I didn’t trust Jerome from the start so, I covered my tracks to. And if I go down, let him know, so will he,” I lied, just so she could take the message back to him. “But none of that matters now. You can have my share. Take the money and go. Start a new life. A better life.”
Chanel looked at me as though I was speaking a foreign language or something. Honestly, I hated what her and my husband’s actions had done to everyone involved. Two people had lost their lives. Plenty invo
lved had abandoned their morals. And one person was probably going to go to jail, but in the midst of it all, I was still trying to make sure that I didn’t go down with this sinking ship.
The trial would come sooner than later and though I was sure that both of them were due to testify in court to help the defense, they could be long gone by then.
And hmm…if Jerome wasn’t there to testify, maybe Dakota would walk after all. Hell, everyone else was getting off the hook. He might as well too.
“It’s not your fault,” I lied to Chanel. Everything was partially her fault, but I silenced my thoughts.
“It’s all of our fault,” she replied as I stood up and headed towards the door. I invited the lawyer back in and I forfeited my part of the insurance money. When she didn’t stop me, I knew that she was going to take my advice.
“Okay, Chanel.”
“Okay…bitch,” she laughed and I exhaled and made my exit. If I never saw Chanel or Jerome again, ever…it would still be too soon.
~***~
What was in that bag?
That’s what the note on my windshield said.
What bag?
I checked my surroundings. No one was there or watching me. Bag? What bag? And then it hit me.
It had to be Kenny who had left the note.
Was he talking about the bag that I’d given Nick a few days before the incident, with the birthday present, instructions and Dakota’s watch?
It had been Jerome’s idea to make it look like I was giving him a gift, so we’d waited until his child’s birthday, so that everything looked legit.
But how did Kenny know that?
Some kind of surveillance or something?
What did he do, go back and try to follow me on every traffic camera, days up to the day where Chevey and Nick were killed?
I balled up the paper, and hurried home.
I took the long way.
Neither Chanel’s or Jerome’s car had been at their house in about a week.
They were gone. I could feel it.
With him being whatever he was in the police department, I was sure that they had new identities and everything, by now. They probably wouldn’t find them even if they tried. Neither of them were suspects anyway, at least not yet, but they were set to take the stand during Dakota’s trial; just like I was. I’d been subpoenaed for the defense and even though I knew that it was against the law to lie, I planned on taking that stand and lying like hell.
But hopefully, they were gone. For good.
I couldn’t believe that Jerome had told her what we’d done. And then he was going to try to come for me? And use Chanel to do it? I also couldn’t believe that Chanel hadn’t tried to get as far away from him as possible after finding out that he’d tried to kill her. Ain’t no way in hell could I sleep beside my husband, knowing that he’d been planning to knock me off. I wouldn’t trust him.
I’d wished that I could’ve given Jerome a piece of my mind before they disappeared, but he was one less thing that I had to worry about.
And the baby was never Dakota’s. Knowing that would’ve changed everything. The whole plan would have never come into play.
When I arrived at home, I saw that Dakota’s mother was there. She was sitting on the front porch.
“How are you today?”
“Good.”
“Your husband is waiting for you,” she said somewhat sarcastically.
“Why?”
“I had a little talk with him. And he didn’t have a choice but to listen. Now it’s your turn to talk. You’re still his wife. Make him listen.”
I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. I don’t know who made the rule that old folks were supposed to talk in codes or in riddles, but I hated it!
The boys were napping and Dakota was sitting in front of them, watching them sleep.
“I don’t know how many moments I have like this left, so, I’m just going to take it all in.”
He’d showered and shaved. And for the first time in a long time, he looked like himself. He looked good.
If I could take back everything, I would.
I wished I’d never called Jerome on that burner phone that day. I wished I’d never been quiet about the situation.
At the end of the day, it just wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t thinking about the boys growing up without a father. I wasn’t thinking about anybody but myself.
“What is the lawyer saying?”
He shrugged. “He can never be sure. When the time comes, it will depend on the jury.”
Well, he didn’t have to worry about Jerome’s statement. Maybe somehow, this thing could manage to turn out alright. Two of our loved ones lost their lives, Dakota lost everything, Chanel got rid of her baby and screwed up her insides. Maybe everybody has paid their price; wait a minute…everyone except for me.
“I believe you.”
Dakota looked at me.
He stood up and came near me. Hell, I might as well be nice to him. We had both done so much wrong, that I wasn’t keeping score anymore.
“I believe you.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
He touched me for the first time in months. I allowed him to hug me. “I didn’t do it. I promise. I didn’t do it.”
I wrapped my arms around him. I felt like the biggest bitch in the world. I should’ve just whooped some ass, divorced him, and called it a day.
“If I make it through this, I swear I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to you.”
“That’s not necessary Dakota. We live by the choices that we make. Even if some of our choices end up being some of our biggest regrets or mistakes.”
“Maybe I deserve this. I’m scared Yaya.”
“Me too.”
And that was nothing but the truth.
~***~
January 14, 2017
I like the attention, I do, but Kenny might be giving me a little more than I can handle. He seems a little obsessive or something. He’s still my little secret, but he won’t be for long. I swear though, he has to have a bug on me or something because he always shows up with the very thing that I just said or he would know what I needed to talk about before I would even say it. We couldn’t possibly be that in sync, right? Nah! This fool got me bugged! Or he had a secret camera in my house or something! I was sure of it! I guess I’ll blame it on the lawyer in him! But still…CREEPY!
XOXO, Chevey Marie.
Hmm…what if he did?
What if he had her bugged like she said?
What if the bug was on her the day that she was killed? Probably in her purse, or something, right?
I wondered if there was anything that Jerome could’ve said in the heat of the moment, when he thought that no one was listening. I wondered if Nick had said anything else.
Nah. If he’d heard something directly tying me to Chevey’s death, Kenny would have turned it in by now.
“Good morning.” Dakota smiled. “I know I can’t leave the state, but how about we just spend the day at the lake. Just you, me and the kids. Just us.”
“Okay.” At the end of the day, at the very least, it would be a memory for our kids.
I tucked Chevey’s Journal in my purse and about two hours later, we headed out.
“So, the wife and the husband plotted together to kill Chevey, right?”
“Get the fuck out of my yard, man!”
“Watch yourself. You are in enough trouble already. Remember?” Kenny smirked as I literally had to stop Dakota from throwing a punch in his direction.
“I’m calling the police!” I screamed at him.
“Go ahead. You’re going to need them,” Kenny said, walking away backwards. I stared at his face. He seemed so sure.
What else did he know?
What else had he found?
“You should’ve let me beat his ass.”
“No. You don’t need anything to make the jurors think you are a bad person; well, any mo
re than they probably already do.”
I noticed that Kenny never pulled off. He waited until we did, and then he drove behind us. He didn’t even try to hide.
Why couldn’t he just leave well enough alone?
Was this all about love?
Or all about him and his career?
We headed to the lake and once we were out of the car, sure enough, Kenny was only a few feet away from us. He never approached us again. He just sat there. Watching us. Intimidating me, because I knew the truth.
I knew that he was right.
Kenny attempted to follow us once we left the lake, but Dakota lost him in traffic. The silence between Dakota and I was awkward. It was as though something was on his mind, but he didn’t say it.
We stayed out for a long while, and once the boys started to complain about being tired, finally, we headed back home.
“Lu Lu,” the boys called for our dog as soon as we walked into the house. Dakota’s mother had been staying in our guestroom. I peeked in on her to see if the dog was in her room. She was fast asleep and Lu Lu was nowhere in sight.
“She must be outside somewhere. She’ll come back in through the doggy-door when she gets hungry,” I said to them. They followed behind Dakota, and I poured myself a glass of wine and headed to the backyard.
The first sip was like Christmas morning.
It instantly calmed my nerves. I was on edge. It crossed my mind, whether or not, Dakota was thinking about what Kenny had said. He hadn’t said anything, but he had to wondering why Kenny thought that I might’ve had something to do with Chevey’s death. Or why he’d made the comment that I was going to need the police. Hell, maybe I should’ve packed up and left right along with Jerome and Chanel.
They say that sometimes the truth is hard to find, but if you keep digging, and digging, and digging, you are bound to find something.
And that’s exactly what Kenny was doing.
He was out for blood.
Speaking of blood, I noticed the blood on the bottom of what looked like Lu Lu’s tail, under a bush.
“Lu Lu?”
She didn’t bark or come running towards me, so I sat down my glass, and headed towards her.
“Lu Lu?”
I pulled at her tail. I stared at my fingers. I was right, it was blood. Lu Lu’s blood!