by Wood, Lauren
“I ran into Cal. You remember Cal?”
“Of course, You talked about him a lot back in the day. You mean that he is there with you now?”
“Yeah. Anna is marrying his best friend.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
I knew that her answer and silence meant that she got it, but that wasn’t all. I told her about the midnight oral and the fact that the next day I found out he was engaged. It was all a mess and my voice broke when I was retelling it because it seemed so much more messed up when I said it out loud like I did. What the hell was I thinking?
“So, you guys did it?”
“Sort of. He gave me head, but then Anna and Jesse walked in. I was so embarrassed, and Cal was all wide-eyed next to me. Trust me, it was all so surreal.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I was hoping that you’d have this great advice.”
“Well you know that I’m a sucker for second chance romances. If I wouldn’t have given Mack another try, I would have missed out on something good. But of course, he wasn’t getting married.”
“That’s not the worst part either.”
“There’s more?”
She had a sound to her voice that I could relate to. “Yes. So, I just spent the day with his fiancée. Anna and I ran into her when we were shopping.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“So, what was she like?”
“Lovely. Now I feel guilty about it.”
“Wow.”
“I know.”
“I should have went to the wedding.”
I scoffed. “Thanks. I’m glad to know my misery is your entertainment.”
“Don’t kid yourself Mariss, it always has been. But this is even more than I would have imagined. What do you think is going to happen with the two of them?”
“I don’t know. Anna told him that he had to tell Marsha, or she was going to. He said he was going to tell her, but I’m really not sure about it.”
I heard her sigh. “You got into a big ol’ mess up there, didn’t you?”
“You have no idea and I’m here for another five days with everything going on.”
“You can always just come back here Mariss.”
“But what about Anna?”
“I don’t know, but don’t drive yourself crazy over him. I know how you were before.”
I took exception to that, but I wasn’t going to say anything. She was right. I needed to just stop overthinking it. What happened, happened. It wasn’t my fault and it wasn’t going to happen again, so that was just going to have to be enough.
Chapter 11
Cal
“Well those two were nice Cal. Did you know Mariss well?”
“I actually met her once a long time ago when we were in college.”
“Oh?”
I didn’t like the sound of the oh, but I was going to go on. I felt like this had to be done and it wasn’t going to be pretty, but it was something that must be done. I wanted to get out of here before we really got into it though. Marsha was known for her outburst and the last thing that I wanted was for her to have one here in the middle of the restaurant with all these people around us. I should have found a better place to start.
“Yeah, it was a long time ago though.”
Marsha was thinking and making connections. She acted all jovial and appeasing most of the time, but it was a ploy. At the end of the day she was rather shrewd like her father. It was great for business, but hard on a person that was in a relationship with them. She was sizing me up, the situation up and she was getting her mind around something.
“So, you two were intimate?”
That was out of left field and my head snapped around to look at her. I couldn’t believe she was going to say it like that, so matter of fact and all.
“Yes, a long time ago.”
“I knew it.” Marsha almost sounded elated that she was right. I hadn’t known that she knew, but she told me that to her it was obvious.
“I could tell that the two of you had been together before just by the way she looks at you. I didn’t like it.”
I apologized with a lack of anything else to say. I didn’t want her to think that I had encouraged it or felt any kind of way about her.
I didn’t think that it was something that should be brought up at dinner with them Marsha. “You seemed to be having a good time.” I was trying to remind her that there was no real cause for concern or anger. I didn’t want to deal with either, not here anyways.
“So, you stayed the night at Jesse’s where she was staying?”
She’d connected the dots and I looked around, wondering how many of the people quietly eating their dinner was about to get a show as well.
“Why don’t we get out of here?”
“Why don’t you just answer the question. Was she staying there when you were there last night?”
“Yes, I stayed on the sofa and Mariss stayed in their guest bedroom.”
“Anna seemed off today and when I came back from chatting, the table was weird. What happened?”
Was it really that simple for her to see it all? I wanted to think that everything was so much more discreet than that, but it seemed like she had read it all like it was written in a book. This didn’t make much sense to me.
“Why are you doing this here of all places?”
“It seems fitting, don’t you think?”
I didn’t know what she was getting at and I regretted not thinking about it for a minute before saying that I had no idea what she was talking about. Apparently, I should have.
“No, I don’t think so, not really. You are speaking in riddles and I’m tired.”
“Me too. I’m tired of this game. Did you sleep with her last night?”
There it was. It was on the table and I was going to have to decide if I was going to go through with it or not. I was convinced that I didn’t want to lie anymore. It was a mistake from the beginning and it was now one that I could fix. I just had to say the words and it would finally be over and I could move on. I just didn’t know what I was going to move on to. I needed her to not hate me, so that I could keep my job. This had to be handled delicately, but truthfully, all at the same time. This was going to be a challenge.
“No, we didn’t sleep together, but we did fool around. I wanted to tell you, but not here with all of these people.”
“You afraid that I’m going to freak out?”
I knew that she was going to freak out. I could see it in her eyes, but then I saw a smile and for some reason that was even worse. I didn’t like it when Marsha got calm. That meant she was thinking and it wasn’t going to be any good as an outcome.
“Yes. I know that I messed up and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t. That’s easy enough.”
She made it sound that way, but I knew better. I knew that it wasn’t something that I could stop.
“I already did and I’m sorry Marsha. This all made me realize.”
She stopped me and told me that she didn’t want to hear the rest of it. Maybe she knew what I was going to say and that was still her answer, but I was already half way there and it only made sense to keep on going for a little while longer.
I had to keep going, but Marsha was very clear.
“I said I don’t want to hear it Cal. I know where this is going, and I just don’t want to go there. We’re getting married in a month. That’s not going to change. You sowed up your wild oats and now you can stop. If my father found out about this, he would ruin you. You know that, right?”
I didn’t know what to say. I thought she would cry, yell, throw a fit. Something. Anything. The way she was acting right now was something that I didn’t get and when women acted irrational, it made me nervous. I didn’t want to see how this was going to turn out, but I really didn’t have a choice.
“Marsha, you can’t be serious. It’s clear that we’re not meant for
each other. You deserve better than me. I can’t love you the way that you deserve to be loved. It’s just that simple and I don’t think that it’s the best thing to do, getting married when we know that it’s not the way it’s supposed to be.”
“That real rich coming from you Cal. You made promises to me and my father that you can’t just back out on now.”
I was fully aware of the promises that I made, but it didn’t matter. Did she really want to be married to someone that didn’t love her back and cheated? That was not right, and I didn’t know how to keep going. This wasn’t how I envisioned it at all going down.
“Do you really want to ruin everything that you’ve worked for because of a slip? This girl was your past. I’m your future Cal. You’re much brighter future.”
She told me that she was done talking about it and I was left to sit there wondering what the hell had just happened. Had she really refused to let me break up with her? Was that even a thing?
Chapter 12
Mariss
“I’m sorry about this Mariss. I can have her not come if you want. I invited you and you’re my maid of honor.”
“Nonsense Anna. You go ahead and go. I didn’t want this to happen. I’m sorry that I got in the middle of this. I can leave if you want me to. I feel so bad.”
“Please don’t. It has been exciting, I’ll tell you that. It has also kept my mind off everything else that I don’t want to think about. I was freaking out before you got here, but now I know I’m ready to get married.”
“Why cause being single is so damn crazy?”
She laughed and agreed. “Yeah, pretty much. So, you see, you did help me.”
I laughed with her, but I still felt bad about everything. Cal had told Marsha the same day that he had dinner with us all and apparently, they were still together and still on track to get married. I was bummed out if I was honest, but I knew that at the end of the day I shouldn’t have expected any more than what I got. He wasn’t mine after all. Why would he give up what he had going here because of one night with me? As much as I liked to believe that he felt what I felt, I had a feeling that it was one sided on my part and I was going to have to come to grips with it.
“I just didn’t want any of this to happen, so go out and have a good time.”
“What are you going to do?”
I shrugged and told her that I wasn’t sure. “Might go grab a movie or a drink. I don’t know, but I will get out for a bit too. I just want you to have a good time for your bachelorette party. I will see you later when you get back and you can tell me all about it.”
She looked like she wasn’t sure, and I reassured her again. I didn’t want this to be about me and Cal. I wanted her to go have fun. I could see why Marsha wouldn’t want me there. If I was in her shoes I think I would have felt the same way. There was nothing that could be done about it now though. What’s done was done and I was going to miss her party because of it. That bothered me the most.
I watched her finally go and I really did hope she forgot about this mess and had a good time. It wasn’t her fault that I had slept with her friend’s man. It certainly wasn’t Marsha’s fault. The woman was just so sweet. I felt even worse now. I’d smiled in her face a few days before and now this. I felt horrible.
This visit was making me think that things were going to have to change. I was the other woman, something I never wanted to be, and I hadn’t felt bad enough, not really.
My phone rang while I was contemplating how horrible of a person I was, and it was the devil himself calling. I didn’t want to talk to him, that’s what I told him, but I didn’t hang up. I wanted to hear what he had to say because as mad as I was with him, I knew that I was still dying to hear what he had to say. I wanted him. It was that simple. I shouldn’t want him, but I did.
“Why are you calling me Cal?”
“So, you did save my number to your phone. That’s a good sign.”
“I guess you can take it that way, or it could be that I wanted to make sure I didn’t answer.”
“Yet you did, so I will assume that’s not the reason.”
He was on the phone for less than a minute and I was already frustrated. “What do you want Cal?”
“I wanna talk.”
“You never want to talk. I don’t think that it’s in you. We were supposed to talk that night and we didn’t end up talking much and I doubt you remembered it if we did.”
“I don’t really remember any words being exchanged. I was more worried about the bodily fluid if I am honest with myself.”
I pressed my lips together and tried not to comment on that last bit. It was still fresh in my mind. So fresh that I started to throb from the thought of it.
I was getting off track and I had to get back. “So, tell me what you’re wanting to talk about Cal? I don’t think we need to, do you?”
“Yes.”
The answer was quick, and it made me smile. I sat down on the bed and laid back. I felt like I was a teenager back in high school again and it was then that I knew I was hooked. This guy was like my kryptonite and it looked like I wasn’t going to be able to resist him. The best thing would be to get away from it, but I knew I wasn’t going to do that. That was my curse and I was already thinking about being in his arms again, everyone else be damned.
“So, what are we talking about?”
“Where are you?”
“At Anna’s.”
“Are they gone yet?”
“How do you know that they are?”
“Jesse told me that they were having a little party.”
“How did you know that I wouldn’t’ go?”
“Just did.”
He knew because of Marsha, but I wasn’t going to say it and it appeared like he didn’t want to either. It was the one thing that was not a topic of discussion that I wanted to have. I wanted to pretend that she wasn’t in the picture. I should have asked if she was or if she was going to be, but I already had my answer on that.
So, then the question was, what was I doing? He was going to be married to another woman soon.
“I don’t think that it’s going to be a good idea. I’m tired and I think I’m going to just go to bed.”
That was my only, really failed attempt at trying to get him to not come. I wanted him to and if he pressed even just a little, I was going to see him soon.
“What just happened?”
“Nothing.”
I didn’t want to say it out loud. I didn’t even want to think about it.
“I’ll be over there in a few.”
“What about Jesse?”
“He’s busy for the night.”
That was all that he said and at the time I was curious what that meant, but I didn’t ask. I just wanted to get to the part where he comes over and takes care of me like only he could do. It was all I could think about and the more I did, the more bothered I became.
“I’ll be there in a minute Mariss.”
I hung up and stared at the phone. He was on his way, but was I ready for him?
Chapter 13
Cal
I got to the door and all the nerves that I’d felt before were gone. I’d done what I could to call off the wedding, but that hadn’t worked, so now I was almost clear of the guilt that I’d experienced before. Marsha knew how I really felt and she still wanted to go through with it. She wanted a fake marriage and there was nothing that I could really do about it. Now I needed the job and that was going to be affected. This is all I could do right now. After a time, it would be acceptable to do so.
I stopped and realized what I was thinking. I had to end it. I couldn’t get married to Marsha because of a job.
The door opened suddenly, and I was in the middle of thought when I jerked a little. I hadn’t been expecting the door to get pulled open like that. I hadn’t even knocked.
“Are you going to knock and come in or are you going to stand out here all night? Anna isn’t going to be gone that long and if she c
atches you here, she’s going to be pissed. I promised her that I would stay away from you.”
I frowned at the comment and I don’t know what I liked less, the fact that it was asked of her or the fact that she agreed to it. Either way it left me a little in my head and not where I should be. I walked in when she moved back and the smile on her face made it all worth it. That smile had a way of making everything else slip away.
“So, what did you want to talk about?”
Not really wanting to talk about anything, I took my coat off and set it on a peg by the door. “Why don’t you show me where the guest room is, and we can talk in there?”
“On the bed I presume?”
“That sounds like as good of a place as any.”
Mariss rolled her eyes a little, but she had this grin on her face that told me that she didn’t mind at all. I didn’t either. I was ready for the next step, whatever she wanted it to be.
We went up the stairs a little slower than normal. She was ahead of me and Mariss stopped. “Maybe we shouldn’t be doing this.”
“We shouldn’t, but we are going to.” I was sure of that much. I was picking up all the signals that I wanted to see, so I was convinced that it was going to be okay. There was no turning back now.
Mariss was quiet until we got into the bedroom. She appeared shy which was strange because she was not usually a shy person. Most of the times that I’d been around her, she was the one that decided what was going to happen.
“So, what do you want to talk about Cal?”
“I want to talk about what happened the other night.”
“The mistake?”
“It wasn’t a mistake. I thought it was a dream because it was too good to be true. You being here, it’s just all too good to be true.”