MORNING COMES TOO QUICKLY, and Jax is already getting ready for work. I have nowhere to go and no one to go with. My only friend is now thousands of miles away, hurt and shattered. There is nothing I can do about it—or is there? I’m lost in my thoughts when he barrels into the room, startling me.
“What’s the matter, Jax?”
He smiles, “Nothing, just making sure you’re real after last night.”
I laugh, “No worries. I’m very real, and getting larger by the day. I need to go shopping for some clothes and I have other errands to run. I will take my guards and I know to always keep my guard dog, Bo, close, so don’t worry, okay? I think I’m going to ask your mom and Bella to meet me for lunch.” I’m not going to bring up going home right now; he has too much on his plate.
He smiles, “That’s fine, just don’t lose your detail. Make sure you have your phone turned on and with you. Your breakfast is ready. I will check in with you later.” He leans down and gives me the softest kiss. “Oh, and just to remind you, I’m madly in love with you, that’s all.”
Just like that, he’s gone. I head out to the kitchen and see breakfast is all set up with a single Abracadabra Rose left on my tray. I don’t know how he does it but he just renders me speechless, even when he’s not in the fucking room. Oh shit! I’m not supposed to think swear words. Either. I can’t believe I just thought that, and I can’t help but laugh. Before I leave, I plan on visiting Max; this is not over by a long shot.
I GET READY AND head next door. I need to talk to Max; he can’t possibly think that he can just dismiss Jackie like yesterdays news. I run into Max’s doctor just as he’s getting ready to leave.
“Hello, Dr. Steven, I’m Raven, how is Maxwell today?”
“He is awake and doing better. He starts therapy this afternoon.”
Oh, I wonder if he will need any help with it? “What kind of therapy does he need?”
He gives me an impatient huff, “I’m sorry, but I’m not at liberty to discuss the matter with you.”
And with that, he’s gone. I walk into Max’s bedroom and find him is sitting in a chair staring out the window. His back is to me, so I take the time to study this man. He’s hurting just as much as Jackie is.
“I know you’re there, Raven.”
I smile, “How do you know?”
He lifts his hand, “Your reflection in the window. Don’t worry; I don’t have eyes in back of my head. I take it you’re here to get some answers.”
I’m not going to make it easy on him. “Actually no, I’m not. I already have all the answers I will need.”
He turns and looks at me, his eyes wide. “Really? What might they be?”
I laugh, “You know, sometimes you and Jax can be such cavemen! I know you love her, and I know that you’re pushing her away because of that love. You think your life is too dangerous and that she would be better off without you. You don’t know if you’ll be one-hundred percent again, and it has you scared. So you did what Jax would do, you shut down and block out all the people from your life who love you, the people who give a shit about you. Oh fuck. You see what you did? I’m not supposed to swear, or even think of swear words, and you have me swearing like a fucking sailor!”
His bottom lip is between his teeth, and his eyes look amused. “Well, Max, are you going to answer me? Or are you just going to sit there?” I ask and the amused look changes drastically.
“Raven, first, yes I love her, but look at me. Look at all I have been through. She is so innocent, precious, and pure; then there’s me. I’m a broken man, for many reasons, but all the more—broken. Doesn’t she deserve the best of the best? I love her enough to give her a chance at that. Secondly, I can’t help it that you want to swear at me, and I find it very funny that you go along with the crazy arse fucker.”
I know I’m glaring at him, I can’t help it—he is so stubborn. “What makes you think you’re not the best of the best? We don’t get to pick our soul mates; I believe, God, does that. And I know he’s crazy, but I love him, so no swearing in front of the baby!”
He seems to be at a loss for words. “I’m going to run errands, do you need me to do anything for you?”
“No, but don’t lose your detail. Take Bo and your phone.” He orders. I laugh and wave as I’m running out the door.
I HEAD DOWN THE elevator with everyone in tow. It’s a beautiful afternoon, so I decide to walk. I call Bella to set up lunch. “Raven, is everything okay?”
I can’t help but laugh. She’s so much like Jax, it’s funny. “Hello to you too, Bella. Yes, everything is fine. I wanted to know if you and your mom could meet me for lunch today? I need help with a project.”
She’s quiet for a minute, probably not sure how to deal with someone who isn’t a bulldozer. “Sure, when and where?”
I give her the details on where and when to meet, and now I’m off to go clothes shopping. I get to Bloomingdales. I stand outside the store and cry. I should be doing this with my best friend, instead, I’m alone. Adding to that, I’m walking around with two guards and a dog! I try to go in, but then I’m reminded about the last time I was here with Marco. How did my life get so fucked up? As I stroll down the street, I find a small maternity boutique and head on in. I pick out some jeans, tops, and running clothes, figuring it’s a good base to start with. As I go up to the counter to pay, I discover that one of my guards has already paid for me! “What do you think you’re doing?”
He looks down at his feet, seemingly embarrassed by the situation. “Mr. Phillips requested that we get you anything you wanted.”
I take my package and leave the store. This is ridiculous. I decide to head to Jax’s office and give him a piece of my mind. This man has taken over my entire life. I can’t go home. I can’t shop without all eyes trained on me. I’m becoming a prisoner with invisible walls. I enter the Raiders building and walk up to the security desk. The guard, hands me a badge with my picture already on it. What the fuck is this man up to now! I get into the elevator with Bo and both guards positioning themselves in front of me. As we make frequent stops, people are getting on and off. A group of girls get on, and they are discussing their evening plans. It makes me want to cry. I miss Jackie, and even Marco; he was such a tortured soul. I didn’t even realize that he was in love with me. As I watch these girls, I realize beautiful women surround Jax all day long, and soon, I will be a cow. I’m fighting my tears as the doors open and I head out towards Jax’s office. Mrs. Osla lets me know he is in, but on the phone. I tell everyone to wait outside the door for me. The guard informs me he has to look inside the room first; this is stupid, but whatever.
As I go inside, I lock the door behind me. He’s still on his call and he seems to be getting very pissed off. Oh, I don’t want to be the person on the other side of that call. Wow, I don’t think I have ever seen Jax this mad. He slams the phone down and opens his arms. I can’t help it, I run straight into them. This man makes me crazy mad, and then crazy in love. Will I ever know what normal is?
“Sweetheart, this is a wonderful surprise. There’s not something wrong though, is there?”
I’m fighting to hold back my constant tears lately. “Oh, Jax, everything and nothing.”
“Okay, are you upset with me?” he asks apprehensively.
“Yes and no.”
“How about you tell me what you did today, so far, and then we can take it from there.” I can tell he’s really trying to be patient with me.
“I had a talk with Max, and he really pissed me off,” I say after finally calming down.
“I can understand that, he does it to me all the time. Sweetheart, you can’t force him to face his demons, you can only support him.”
“I know that, Jax, it’s just that they are both hurting, and for what—stupid pride?”
“What else have you done today?” He leans back on his desk.
“I went shopping for clothes. I couldn’t bring myself to go into Bloomingdales. The last time I was there
was with Marco.” A lump forms in my throat.
Jax picks up his phone and hits a button. “One second, sweetheart,” he holds up a finger to me, “Mrs. Olsa, please hold my calls and cancel my next meeting. Thanks.” He hangs up.
I can’t believe he just blocked out that time for me out of nowhere. “Jax, you have to work. I’m a distraction; I’ll go.”
He pulls me tightly up against his chest, running his fingertips down my cheek. “You’ll do no such thing. It shatters me to see you upset.” He leans in, lightly brushing his lips over mine. “I’d stop the world for you, Raven.”
“Jax, I want to go shopping pay for my own stuff. Do you know how I felt when the guard paid for all my clothes? I felt cheap, like I’m being kept by someone. Let me tell you, it’s not a good feeling.” I watch his reaction, but he keeps a stolid expression. “Well, what do you have to say for yourself?”
“Sweetheart, every time I open my mouth, I make you cry, so please excuse me if I’m a little apprehensive here. While we are on full disclosure, I replaced all your credit cards with a Black American Express Card. There is no credit limit. I figured you might want to do some shopping for the baby.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing! “So let me get this straight; you went into my purse, took out all of my cards, and then replaced them with one that you think I should have?!” I scream. He is so in the doghouse now. “Why, Jax? Why would you do that? You need to make me understand what the fuck you were thinking!”
He glares at me. “Don’t swear, the baby will hear! I remember when we were preparing for Junior, it was very time consuming and expensive. I took care of everything for Bella.”
Well that’s news. “Why did you do everything for Bella? Why not Michael?”
He kisses my lips softly, and then leans in to nibble on my ear. “It’s not my story to tell; it’s Bella’s.”
“I want to see my mother; I think it will be safe. I would also like to check on Jackie. She’s my only friend, Jax.” I can’t be made to feel like a prisoner.
He nods, “Let me run everything by Max first, and then we will figure out the next step, okay?”
“Okay, I have to go. I’m meeting your mom and Bella for lunch and probably some shopping. I’ll see you later. I love you.” I lean in and kiss him, he holds me so tight.
“Jax, are you okay?”
He smiles, “Yeah, just needed to make sure you’re real, sweetheart. I love you more.”
I realize that as strong and powerful as he is, underneath, he is still that little boy whose dad walked out on him, and my heart breaks.
I KNOW I’M NOT going to get any work done, so I head over to check on Max. I get to Max’s flat. It’s very quiet. I watch him sitting in a chair, looking out the window. How did everything get so fucked up for us? “Hey, Max, how are you feeling today?”
“Jax, if you’re here to tear me a new arsehole, you’re too late. Raven beat you to it.”
I laugh, “No I’m not here for that. I’m here so you can tear me a new arsehole.”
His eyes shoot up to mine, “What the fuck did you do now, mate?”
I have taken up Max’s pacing. “That’s just it, I don’t know what the fuck I did. I don’t think I’m unreasonable. I don’t understand why she got so mad that I had the guard pay the bill when she went shopping. I then had to confess that I replaced all of her credit cards with the Black AmEx. She really went nuts over that one. I don’t want to come across all crazy, but I just want to lock her in the fucking penthouse and throw away the key! Her emotions are all over the place; she cries easily. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells.”
“Well, what are you going to do?”
“Fuck if I know what I’m going to do. Max, why else would I be here.”
He laughs, “Oh, Jax, it’s a good thing I know you so well; a lesser man might be offended by you. Maybe she needs more from you?”
I stop pacing and stare out the window. “Max, I’m not a total moron; I get that. Fuck. I’ve wanted to marry her from the first day I met her, but again, I can’t come across out of control and possessive. If I ask her now, she will think I only want to marry her because she is pregnant. If I don’t ask her now, she will think I don’t want her. I’m so fucked either way. Maybe locking her away isn’t such a bad idea.” I sigh. “ I know you don’t want to talk about Jackie, but it’s a problem.” I wait for a reaction. His jaw gets tight and he closes his eyes, probably trying to gain some control. I can see his pain, both physical and emotional.
“Why is Jackie a problem?” he almost whispers.
Why do I have to spell everything out? “Jackie is Raven’s only friend, and right now, she is held up at her parent’s compound in Switzerland. Raven needs her friend, and I’m sure, by the look of Jackie when she left here, she is in need of Raven. Plus, Raven wants to see her mum, and I can’t say I blame her. If it were my mum, I would be fighting tooth and nail to get to her. I told her I would talk to you and see if it’s possible that we make a trip to Switzerland. What’s your take on that?”
He takes a deep breath, “Well, I talked to Tony today and he brought me up to speed on everything. Vincent is still being held at a federal hospital. He hasn’t regained consciousness, yet. Vincent’s lawyer, Mr. Deveno, has been pushing the Feds to have Vincent moved to a private facility. Duke has been brought back to New York. He is being held in solitary at Sing Sing prison, awaiting trial. You know that no one is ever one-hundred percent safe, Jax, that’s just life. If you want to get her out of the country for a little bit while she is still in the earlier part of the pregnancy, then I would say go for it. Make sure you have all the necessary security with you, at all times. I can’t travel with you, but I will help with all the arrangements if you need me to. I can monitor things from here. As far as Raven is concerned, you love her—that’s never been a question. So what are you waiting for? You go after whatever you want and damn anyone to hell if they get in your way . . . so, get the fuck out of your own way, mate.”
“This is why you’re my best friend.” I slap him on the shoulder. I wish I could help him figure things out; I know this is destroying him. But until he let’s me in, all I can do is wait. I leave him to his thoughts and head back across the hall to plan my next move.
I MAKE IT TO the restaurant just as Bella and An pull up. When we’re all seated, Bella jumps right in, “So, what did my brother do now?”
I can’t help but laugh, “That’s not why I asked you both here, but now that we are on that subject, he went into my purse, took all the credit cards out of my wallet, and replaced them with a Black AmEx card!”
Bella is laughing. “Raven, you need to understand that sometimes my brother can be an idiot. I’m sure he has no concept of how a women’s purse is very private and personal.”
Finally, someone who understands! “Well, I’m glad someone else sees how crazy he can be. He also told me that if I swear, or even think of swear words, the baby can hear it, and he doesn’t want the baby’s first word to be a swear word!” An is biting her lip, trying not to laugh, but even she seems to see how crazy her son’s behavior is.
“Raven, my son can be a little intense.”
Bella and I turn toward her and at the same time, we burst out laughing.
“You should have seen him when I was pregnant, you would have thought he was the father. He wouldn’t let anyone come within ten feet of me. He wanted medical reports on everyone I came in contact with. I had three cleaning ladies quit because of him!” Bella reports before taking a sip of water. I want to ask her more about her pregnancy—where Michael was—but An is fidgeting and seems very uncomfortable, so I decide to drop it.
“I asked you ladies to lunch today to help me with Max.”
“What’s wrong with, Maxwell? I spoke to Jax, and he didn’t say there was a problem.” An’s voice cracks and she turns pale.
I don’t know how much Jax told her. “He pushed Jackie away. She went to her parents’ compound in Switz
erland. She is a total wreck; her heart is broken. I went to see Max this morning, and he’s so lost. All he would say was that she’s better off without him, and he doesn’t do relationships. Jax told me to stay out of it, but I can’t—they love each other. What has Max so rattled that he would push her away? He couldn’t even tell her to her face; he made Jax do it. None of this sounds like Max to me.”
An seems very upset, but Bella doesn’t seem so rattled. “My brother and Max have been best friends for a very long time. They have relied upon each other for everything. They are closer than brothers; their bond is unbreakable. I’m sure he knows more than we think.”
“An, what do you think we should do?”
“Raven, let me think about this for a little bit. You just be a good friend to Jackie. I like her a lot. Her parents raised her very well; they should be proud of her.” She seems really upset.
I nod, missing my friend even more. “I’m sorry if I upset you, An, I just want to fix this.”
She is so much like Jax, trying to be the strong one.
“It’s fine, dear, please don’t worry. I’m going to leave you here with Bella. Enjoy your lunch, ladies.” She gets up and abruptly leaves.
“Bella, did I say something wrong?”
“No, Raven, it’s not you. For some unknown reason, when it comes to Max, my mum can be very overprotective.” She grabs a roll and butters it. I want to press her for more answers, but I don’t have that comfort level with her, yet. God, I miss Jackie so much.
Pretty soon we are lost in all things baby.
Darkness into Dawn (The Unraveled Trilogy Book 2) Page 4