“Don’t worry, I’m good.” Damn she goes right for the jugular. I lean up against Raven’s back and help her push. I look down to see what’s going on and see a shock of black hair. I’m in awe of the sight before me.
“Jax, start counting for her again. One more push, Raven, come on you, can do this.”
“I’m tired, Max, I don’t think I can.”
“You need to push the shoulders out. Come on, girl, you can do it!”
My beautiful wife gives it all she’s got. The doctor and Rose come running in just as we hear the baby cry.
“Jax, Raven, meet your beautiful daughter.” Max places her in Raven’s arms and wrapping my arms around her, we cradle this angel together.
The doctor steps up and offers me the chance to cut the umbilical cord. I’m nervous but I give it a go, wiping my tears away, first, so I can see. The happiness I’m feeling is overwhelming. We fought hard for this and won. Life has come full circle . . . for all of us.
“So, does my niece have a name?”
Neither one of us is saying anything. We are too busy huddling together, watching her with wonder and love. Finally, I get up and hand the baby to the doctor and Rose to examine.
I turn to my brother. “Max, if it’s okay with you, Raven and I would like to call her Antonia Samantha Phillips. You are my best friend and a great brother. You’ve been shot twice, protecting my wife and daughter. Now you’ve helped bring my beautiful baby safely into this world. I would be honored to give her Samantha as her middle name.”
I’M STUNNED. “THANK YOU . . . both of you. I’m honored that you would do that.”
I look over at Rose, coddling my niece, and I know that Samantha would be proud to have her name carried on. Proud of how far I have come. I back out of the room, giving them some privacy. I need to find Jackie, and let her know what’s happened. As I head downstairs, Jackie, An, and Mrs. Osla come rushing in. “It’s okay everyone, they have a beautiful, healthy, baby girl.”
“Is Raven okay, and did my son survive this?”
“An, Raven is fine and yes, even Jax survived this, although, he might be rethinking his need for lots of babies right now.”
An and Mrs. Osla head upstairs, but I pull Jackie back towards me. “I need you, baby.”
“Are you okay, Max?”
“They named the baby Antonia Samantha Phillips. It was just a little overwhelming for me. Sometimes I feel like I’ve come so far, and then, I feel like I’ve hit a wall.”
She pulls me into her arms and holds me tightly. “Max, there will always be a time when something or someone will stir up memories of Samantha and Elliot. Cherish the fact that you have some happy memories. Remembering them will always keep their spirits alive. It’s okay to feel, Max, it’s when you stop feeling that the walls go up.”
I lift her head up to mine and look into those beautiful golden eyes. “Let’s head upstairs, and you can meet my new niece. After that, I want to be alone with you for the rest of the day. Did I tell you I delivered the baby? You should have seen Jax. It’s a wonder Raven didn’t kill him.”
“Why did you deliver the baby? What happened to the doctor?”
“Come, I’m sure Raven wants to tell you all about it.”
We walk into the room and An is on the phone with Bella. The whole family is gathered around, and I realize, I’ve come back to life. It’s taken ten years, but I’ve come full circle. I wish my grams were here to see this, to see I’m happy and loved.
I’m sure she’s looking down on me now.
“Max, what are you thinking right this second?”
“I’m loved, baby; truly blessed.”
AS I WATCH MY beautiful Antonia sleep, I look out over the sun rising in the meadow. So much has happened to me—hell—to all of us in this past year. Things I never thought or dreamed of, have become my reality. My mom is alive and getting stronger everyday. Jackie has found the love she always dreamed of, a true soul mate. Max is healing, one day at a time. He’s feeling again, learning to live life. My Jax, oh how my skin tingles just thinking about him. I’ve finally figured out his over the top ways, but more importantly, why he does what he does. He’s so wonderful with Antonia. I don’t think any boy will ever have a chance with her. To think, I was worried that he would want lots of staff around to take care of her. He won’t let anyone within ten feet of her. I’m glad he still wants lots of babies, this place is huge and I wouldn’t want Antonia to be an only child.
He’s been a little off, lately and I know it’s that damn file. I wish he would just burn it, but that’s not Jax. I know he has to see this through to the end, but at what price? I scoop up Antonia as she begins to wake. She has quite the appetite, which I’m sure, makes Jax happy.
“Hello, my beautiful Antonia.” I watch her as she latches on. She makes a fist near her jet-black hair and I have to laugh, she really is her father’s daughter. “There’s a whole world at your doorstep, my sweet daughter, just waiting for you. I can’t wait to explore it with you, one day at a time.”
A COUPLE OF DAYS have passed and Antonia is already getting into a routine. Raven is a natural with her. I have a beautiful daughter, and rest assured, no man will ever be good enough for her. I pity the poor bastard that even tries. My wife and daughter are asleep. I know it’s time; I can’t put this off any longer. I head to my office and pull out the file. I’ve been waiting for the right time to do this and now seems as good as any.
“Are you ready for this, Jax?”
“Jesus Max, you scared the living daylights out of me.”
“I figured you’d want to get started on this. Are you sure you really want to look?”
“Yes, I have to.”
“Well, then, let’s get started.”
I open the file and there are pictures, lots of them. “Who are all these people?”
“The first picture is our father as he looks today.”
“Who are these other people Max?”
“Read the file.”
I begin to read and I’m floored. Our father is a career bigamist. He’s lived off of all these women. When he is done with them, he moves on to the next one. Never caring about the devastation he’s left behind. There are other children like us out there. “Jesus Christ, Max, we’ve done business with some of these people and never knew! Now what? Do we contact them?”
“Well, I don’t think it is a decision we have to make right this minute. I think we need to talk to Bella and An about this. They need to be aware of everything. Jax, he’s alive and well, living in Capri.”
“Well, Bella will be home tomorrow. We will let her and mum know everything, and then I guess we’re off to Capri.”
I WAKE FROM A nap and look for Jax, but I know he’s not here. I get up to find him, although I know I won’t have a long search, he’s never far from me. I stop outside Antonia’s room and I hear him talking to her.
“My beautiful daughter, I am yours for life.” He stares down at our daughter and I don’t know what is going on in his head right now but he seems a little upset.
“My beautiful Antonia, you’re so sweet like your mum. How could I go without seeing these little pouty lips everyday, or those beautiful crystal blue eyes? How can I leave Raven?”
What’s this? “Jax, are you okay?”
He brings his focus to me. “No, sweetheart, I’m not. I read the file and, apparently, my father is a serial bigamist, living in Capri. I need to confront him and right now I’m struggling with leaving you and, Antonia.”
“Are you worried about our safety, or something else?”
I watch his struggle as he tries to find the words, words I already know. My heart tightens in my chest. “Would it help if we went with you?”
“I thought of that, believe me, I have. I need to get a handle on these feelings. Feelings I’ve never had before.”
“What feelings, Jax?”
He’s quietly stroking Antonia’s, cheek. “Fear,” he barely whispers.
&n
bsp; My heart breaks for him, and I know that only I can help him through this. “What are you afraid of Jax?” Antonia, falls back to sleep and he puts her in her crib.
“I’m afraid this might all go away.”
There it is, that little boy whose family was rejected for another. I take his hand and pull him towards me. “Look at me, Jax.” His eyes shoot up to mine, “You are not your father. You’re a kind and loving man. We made promises to each other, promises that I plan on holding you to, until my dying day. I will never leave you.” I stroke my fingers across his worry lines, I see his angst. “I know your craziness stems from your father abandoning your family for another. That’s an awful hurt for anyone, especially a little boy who idolized his dad. You’re not your dad and you never will be, you don’t have it in you. You’re a good man, Jax, one I plan on growing very old with. We have a long, full future ahead of us. A future we need to be working on.”
“Raven, the doctor has not given us the green light yet, and I struggle with this every minute of every day.”
I lean into his chest and kiss his heart. “My beautiful man, come back to bed, please . . .”
He lifts me into his arms and nuzzles into my neck. “Sweetheart, you don’t play fair.”
“I never said I would.”
IT’S ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY, and fall will be upon us soon. I know Jackie has already gone to the barn. She is so happy; her riding academy is a huge success. She’s adding two new horses today. The kids love her, but what’s not to love? I hate that I have to leave her, but Jax and I are supposed to be heading out to Capri today. I’m not sure either one of us can do it. Jax has put three guards on Antonia, one that Raven and Jackie call T-Bear. Mick is always within view, so I’m not worried about their safety. I just don’t want to leave. I watch in the distance as Jackie mounts up. God she’s so beautiful. Her golden hair, cascading down her back—and those legs! I watch, in a trance, as my mind wanders.
“Maxwell, are you sure you and Jax will be leaving today?”
“Jesus, An, you scared me half to death.”
“Maybe your apprehension to leave is really a sign. What is it going accomplish anyway? The past is just that—the past. Nothing will change what was, only you can change what will be.”
“For once, I agree with you, but Jax needs to do this and I won’t let him go alone. Is there some other reason you don’t want us to go?”
“No, I just don’t see any good coming from it. Jax fears he is like James, but he’s nothing like him.”
“What about the other siblings out there, shouldn’t they know the truth, An?”
“Maxwell, maybe they already do, have you thought of that? Maybe they know and they just don’t care.”
“I’ve thought about that, but I know Jax needs answers. Answers he can only get from our father.”
“Do what you must.” She walks away, leaving me to my thoughts. As I walk towards the barn, my phone beeps. It’s Bella.
“Meeting. Now. Kitchen!”
She sounds upset. I better get over there now.
JAX AND MAX TOLD me everything about my father. I have siblings I never knew about. They are getting ready to go to Capri. They think they can head out and leave me here.
Jax comes running into the kitchen, half out of his mind, as usual.
“Bella, what’s wrong?”
“Calm down, bro, I’m fine.”
“Then, why the meeting?”
Max steps into the room, “What’s the urgency, Bella?”
“I’m going with you to Capri.”
“Oh no you’re not,” Jax jumps in.
“Look, you can’t stop me from going. I will be perfectly safe with the two of you. I need to do this just as much as you do.”
“Your mum is upset that Jax and I are going, you going, as well, will be too much for her.”
“Max, don’t bring my mum into this. She doesn’t need answers, I d-do.” I stammer, trying to fight off my emotions.
“What kind of answers are you looking for?”
“Max, it was after I was born that he walked out, why?”
Jax pulls me into his arms. “I’ve heard enough, you are not responsible for his leaving. It was his choice to make. I tried to give you all the love and support I could, Bella, and I’m sorry if I failed you.”
“Jax, you didn’t fail me, but I still need to know.”
“Well, then, I guess the three of us are going to Capri just as soon as I can pull myself away from my wife and daughter.” He pulls back from me. My brothers and I all stare at each other in silence; this is going to be hard on all of us.
The End . . . for now.
Book 3: Untitled
James Phillips
The day has finally come, the day I’ve feared the most. The day my oldest son comes to find me. I knew it would be soon. It was only a matter of time before my past would collide with my future. His family murdered because of me. My grandson and daughter in-law gunned down like animals. How can I face him, knowing what I’ve done? I’ve stayed away for their own safety, but what did that get me? They are still dead because of me. I have managed to keep the rest of them safe, but for how long.
There’s a knock on the door that startles me out of my daydream. “Come in, Reynolds.” Reynolds has been my Valet and confidant for twenty years, the keeper of all my secrets.
“Sir, I just received word that their plane has landed. It’s only a matter of time now. What would you like to do?”
“Well, Reynolds, what we won’t do is run anymore. The time has come to face my demons. I must own up to what I’ve done. They are not children anymore, and they deserve the truth, no matter how ugly it is.”
“Sir, what about their safety?”
“Well, the better question should be, what about ours? When Maxwell finds out my role in all of it, I venture to say, I’m a dead man.”
“Sir, you did everything you could, clearly, he will understand.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to get that image out of my head I whisper, “Everything but save them.”
Rick, thank you, for always having my back. You’re unwavering love and support is priceless. No matter what the course may be, I know you’re always by my side. My end all. I love you.
My mom, Jean, my sister, Fran, and all my family and friends, you have all been so supportive through all of this, making sure I never give up. Your constant love and support has taught me to be a better person. I can only hope I’ve passed this on to others in my lifetime.
Erin, Charles found you so I could have you. You listen to me even when I don’t want to hear myself. I know no matter what happens in life, you will be behind me; kicking me in the arse when I need it, and holding me up when I fall. Always and forever.
Thank you, Kelsey Dobbins, for naming Raven’s Pilate’s instructor Ashlyn Adair.
The girls at Chocolate Smiles of Cary, North Carolina. Throughout all the craziness, it has been your constant supply of the best, dark chocolate, covered graham crackers that has kept me somewhat sane.
My street team, Theresa’s Sinfully Sexy Angels—you girls rock!
Clementine Catapano, thank you for continuingly showing me all the new uses for Nutella.
Thank you to the little boy who agreed to let me use his published poem as long as I kept him anonymous. Your secret is safe with me.
Finally, my son, Leif. I learn from you everyday. I have the pleasure of watching the world through your eyes. Your loyalty and courage are beyond reason. You’re more than I ever dreamed possible, and I thank God every day for the gift of you.
I was born in Brooklyn New York. I am old enough to know there is no luggage rack on the hearse. I am married to a Professional Chef. I have a son who is a Research Chemist and a wine maker. Yep I’m covered from the food to the drinks. I have 2 dogs Vito and Godiva. I live in the United States. I’ve had so many different jobs, even I can’t keep count.
I believe if you give a girl espresso and Nutella she c
an change the world!
Playlist for Darkness into Dawn
Darkness into Dawn (The Unraveled Trilogy Book 2) Page 32