“I’ll do it, but only on one condition. You have to sign a contract saying you won’t try to get sole custody of Michelle. I don’t trust you not to try to win custody of her once I let you take us back to Australia”.
“Trust!” Mitch raged as he stalked up to me, angrier than I had ever seen him. “You dare to talk to me about trust! After everything you’ve done, you’re trying to blackmail me?”
I stood up too and started yelling. It had been two weeks since I had first laid eyes on Mitch at the conference, two exhausting weeks where I had been isolated from everyone I knew, questioned over and over, and treated like a criminal by people who didn’t even know me. I had had enough.
“Yes, I do. You’re a fine one to talk about trust. For the last two weeks, you and everyone around you have treated me like crap. You treat me like a criminal, and I know I’ve done nothing wrong. Just because I can’t remember the past doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings about it. I don’t feel like I’m the type of person you think I am, and I resent you treating me like some sort of criminal, and that your staff do it too and you let them. You haven’t even taken the time to tell me anything about myself, except that you think I’m a thief that stole your money. So far, all I’ve heard from you is that you are the only thing that’s important. Your money. Your daughter. Your lawyers. Your problems. Has anyone ever thought about me? Or Michelle? All I’m trying to do is to make sure you don’t try to take my baby away from me. From what I can see, you have everything you could possibly want. All I have is Michelle, and if you take her away, I’ll have nothing. So I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure I don’t lose her. Don’t for one minute think that I won’t. If you don’t want to wait the months or maybe years that it will take to get your name on her birth certificate, then fine, don’t agree to not shut me out of her life. Just remember, that until your name is on that birth certificate, you have no rights over her. I can take her at any time and walk away from here. Just remember that next time you want to try to bully me into doing what you want!”
I stood there for a few moments after making my speech, breathing heavily, and staring into Mitch’s shocked face. I looked at the solicitor, who was also looking a bit shocked, and certainly a bit embarrassed, and then turned on my heel, wrenched the door open and ran from the room. I found myself in Michelle’s room, and had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself before approaching her. She had been napping in her cot, and had obviously been awake for a while, and was amusing herself with some toys. On seeing me, she stood up and smiled at me, holding up her little arms and making the little pinching motions with her hands that indicated that she wanted to be picked up. I picked her up and held her tight to me, burying my nose in her neck and breathing in her baby smell. She wriggled in protest, and to soothe her I blew some raspberries on her neck, hearing her little giggles over the noise. Suddenly she went silent, and I felt the atmosphere in the room change. Holding her tight, I turned to face Mitch, who was standing in the doorway watching us.
“I’m sorry. I suppose I have been acting like a bit of a bully lately, but this whole situation has gotten to me. I never even thought about this from your point of view, but obviously these last couple of weeks must have been very hard on you. Has it really been that bad? I haven’t been around you when you are dealing with my staff, so I didn’t know there was a problem there, I’ll take care of it and make sure they treat you with some respect from now on”.
I pressed my lips into a line even as I put Michelle down. She reached for a toy but moved behind me to play with it. Even though Mitch had tried to get closer to her, and she was a little more trusting of him than she had been initially, Michelle must have picked up on the tension between us and wanted to use me as a shield. I moved a little so that she was behind me.
“Did your lawyer tell you to come up and play nice with me so that you can get what you want?” I challenged.
Mitch’s lips quirked self deprecatingly.
“Yes, he did. But I was going to come looking for you anyway. It never even crossed my mind how you must feel, not being able to remember anything about your past. It wouldn’t be fair of me to take you back without telling you who you were, or what you did, because everyone around you will remember you, but you won’t remember anything, will you?”
I shook my head, unable to speak at this admission from Mitch. This had been worrying me, but I hadn’t wanted to show any weakness in front of him, especially as he seemed to have made up his mind about what sort of person I was. This was the most reasonable I had seen Mitch since the night of the conference.
“Ok, tell you what. How about we have a date night tonight, and I’ll tell you what I know about you. How we met, what you told me about you, what our marriage was like, all of that. I’ll have something nice catered in, for say, eight thirty? Michelle is normally in bed at around eight, isn’t she?” I nodded, and Mitch continued. “I’ll turn off my phone, and get rid of everyone, and it will be just the two of us. We can have the baby monitor by the table, so we can hear if Michelle wakes up, but apart from that, we won’t have any interruptions, and after tonight you should know a bit more about yourself. Maybe you’ll even get lucky and something will spark a memory, if not, at least you won’t be in the dark about yourself so much”.
I nodded my agreement and Mitch smiled at me before going. I took a deep breath and turned to Michelle. Even if Mitch was only doing this because his lawyer had suggested that he should humour me, that was fine by me. At least I would know a bit more about myself by the time the evening was over.
Melbourne, Australia, present day.
I stared up at the apartment tower as the limousine headed towards the front door. It had been a long day. It had been a long several weeks come to think of it, and I was really tired. Mitch and I had tried to talk a few times, and each time ended the same. Mitch would try to talk about our past, but before long he would get angry at how he thought I had played him, and we would argue, although to be fair to Mitch, the arguments were much briefer and quieter, he seemed to be reconciling himself to the possibility that maybe I wasn’t the awful person he imagined me to be. During the few weeks it had taken to satisfy the authorities in both countries that Michelle was my daughter and that I was who Mitch said I was, and to get a passport issued for Michelle, Mitch had worked hard to gain Michelle’s trust, and she was certainly beginning to relax around him. I had mixed feelings about that. I was afraid of being replaced, but at the same time I was happy for Michelle. She deserved a father who cared about her, and it was clear that Mitch did. That became very obvious on the flight over. I had expected a commercial flight, so was stunned to find that Mitch had a private jet. After boarding, Mitch and his employees had gone into a huddle in a cluster of the buttery leather seats, while the flight attendant showed me the portable cot that had been set up in the bedroom at the rear of the aircraft. Afterwards, I had taken a seat with Michelle, but after the take off she had started crying and rubbing her ears, upset by the change in pressure. While I rummaged in my bag for the lollipop I had brought on board for her to suck, in the hope that it would help her to “pop” her ears, Mitch had swooped down and picked up Michelle, making her “fly” through the air and playing with her until she almost forgot the pain she was in. When I held up the lollipop, Mitch took it from me, and went back to where his employees were sitting, silently watching us, and he settled Michelle on his lap and held her while she sucked on her lollipop. Michelle had sniffled a little longer, then with a big sigh, had leaned back into Mitch’s arms, apparently feeling safe and comforted. While naturally I was relieved that my baby was no longer in pain, I still felt a little frisson of fear, as I realized how easy it would be for Mitch to replace me. Michelle was so young, while she would miss me at first if I disappeared from her life, eventually she would forget me. I turned my face away from the scene, not wanting Mitch to see the tears that I fought from letting fall.
When the plane landed, we were ushered into a
nother limousine and driven to Mitch’s apartment. It seemed like it would just be the three of us, Mitch’s staff had not traveled with us from the airport. As we walked through the lobby, I tried to take in my surroundings, but as luxurious as they probably were, I was too nervous to notice them properly. The plane had been luxurious too, but I had only got impressions of soft carpet, buttery leather and wood trim, I hadn’t even tasted the food and drink served to me, I had been wound up so tight with emotional turmoil. I now found myself following Mitch blindly, as he carried a sleeping Michelle in his arms. Wherever my daughter went, I was going to go, even if it did mean following Mitch. So I followed him into the elevator, staring blindly ahead while the elevator ascended, then followed him through the front door of his apartment, down a hallway and to a bedroom. I paused as I saw the decorations. Mitch must have made arrangements as soon as he found out about Michelle, as the room was beautifully decorated for a little girl. The walls were painted a soft pink and there were transfers of butterflies and unicorns on the walls. The cot was a glossy white, with pink linens, and there were toys everywhere. Mitch gently laid Michelle down in the cot, raised the side and then switched on a monitor that I hadn’t noticed before, pocketing the receiver. He turned to see me watching him. For a moment, I thought I saw tenderness in his eyes, then I knew I must have been mistaken, as he looked at me coldly.
“You must be tired. I had all your things moved into the spare room a few months ago, if you want to rest, it’s probably a good time while Michelle’s asleep”.
I nodded and turned. I stepped out of the room, and then paused. Mitch came up behind me and sighed heavily once he saw that he couldn’t get out of Michelle’s room as I was blocking the doorway.
“What’s the matter Helen?”
I turned, and said very quietly.
“I don’t know which way”.
I heard Mitch exhale loudly, then I felt the pressure of his hand in the small of my back.
“To the left. The next door down”.
I let myself be guided by Mitch, then opened the door and entered the room, closing the door behind me. I didn’t have any more energy to deal with Mitch right now, he was correct, a rest would do me good. The bed looked soft and inviting, and I sat on it, bouncing slightly to test the mattress. I could have slept on the plane, there was a bedroom at the rear, but I hadn’t wanted to let Michelle out of my sight. I still felt uncomfortable about it, but this was apparently to be our home now.
I curled up on the top of the covers, and felt myself drifting off lazily. The stress of the last few weeks and the emotions of the day were catching up with me, and I knew if I didn’t get some rest I would be a wreck when Michelle woke up. Just as I zoned out of consciousness I wondered what I would do when I woke up, but then sleep claimed me and I didn’t get to follow that thought.
I woke up some time later, my head feeling foggy and my mouth feeling stale. I rolled over and sat on the edge of the bed, then spotted two doors in the wall that I hadn’t noticed before. I walked over to them, reasoning that one had to be a bathroom, and luckily I chose the right one. I found a new toothbrush in a wrapper in the bathroom, so I suspected it must have been left there for me. I used it, putting it in the holder when I was done and inspecting the rest of the contents of the cupboards. I held up a hairbrush, wondering why it felt so familiar, then realized that it wasn’t new. I inspected the various bottles of lotions and perfume bottles, realizing that as they were partially used, they had probably been mine and had been left here during the period of my absence. Remembering what Mitch had said about my things being moved into this room a few months ago, I stared at myself in the mirror while I thought about what that meant. These items must have been in Mitch’s bathroom, the bathroom we had presumably shared, until recently. I stared at the brush sadly as I realized that up until then, Mitch had probably hoped I would return, and had left my belongings where they were, expecting me to need them again. Even when he decided that I wasn’t coming back, he still hadn’t thrown them out, and for the life of me I couldn’t make sense of that. If Mitch had decided that I was dead, or had simply run away, why had he not thrown my things away? I slowly pulled the brush through my hair, trying to make sense of what I had learned, and failing to understand anything. I put the brush down, and on impulse, picked up some perfume and spritzed some in the air, walking through it so that the cloud of scent settled on my hair and shoulders. I breathed in, closing my eyes in delight. There hadn’t been any money for a luxury such as this for so long, and I knew why this must have been one of my favourite scents back then. I glanced at the bottle, recognizing it as an inexpensive brand, and gave myself a mental high five. Even though I had been married to a rich man, I doubted that I had ever been motivated by money. If I had married Mitch for his money, I would have been buying top shelf cosmetics, instead I had been using products I must have liked, rather than products which were attractive solely because they were expensive.
On that self righteous note, I stepped out into the hallway, cracking open the door to Michelle’s room and watching for a few moments while her little chest rose and fell, and she sighed in her sleep. Obviously my baby was tired too, so I quietly pulled the door shut, and stood uncertainly wondering what to do next. I heard the low rumble of Mitch’s voice, and reasoned that as he probably still had the baby monitor, I should seek him out. He was probably on the phone or something, I thought, as I couldn’t hear any answering voice. I followed the sound, but was disheartened a few seconds later when I heard a much higher, shriller voice. I didn’t know who it was, but my clenched stomach told me that I obviously knew this woman, and we probably hadn’t gotten along in the past. I slowed my steps as I got closer to the sound, hearing Mitch say something indistinct, then pausing near the end of the hallway to listen to the woman’s response.
“You’re crazy Mitch. As crazy as you ever were. I knew from the start she was just out for your money, and you just got suckered in by a pretty face and a willing body. She used you then, and you’re just giving her another chance. Why?”
“Keep your voice down Amy. I don’t want you to wake up Michelle, you know, your niece?”
“Is that what this is about? You said she had a kid when you found her. How do you know she’s even yours? Just because Helen told you? Why would you believe anything that woman says?”
“Once you see her you will understand. She’s clearly my daughter, and I had a DNA test done anyway to confirm it. Did you think I was going to leave my daughter behind? That I would leave her somewhere where she would go without what she needed? Of course I wanted to bring her back here, and they are a package deal, so you’re just going to have to live with it”.
My blood started to boil at Mitch’s words, and the next statement from the unseen woman who was obviously his sister pushed me over the edge.
“Ok, I get that you wanted to bring your daughter here to look after her, you can give her whatever she wants…”
“Maybe so, but can he give her what she needs?” I almost shouted as I took those last few steps out of the hallway and into the room, registering the shock on Mitch’s face, and the woman’s face, as they turned to see me marching towards them.
“What Michelle needs, what she has always needed, is love. I can give her that, but after listening to you two, I doubt that either of you know what that is. All of this”, and I waved my arms around, indicating the luxury around me, “is lovely, but meaningless. If Michelle has all of this, without love, she would probably grow up empty and sterile like you two, and that would be a tragedy”.
I spun on my heel, stomping back into my room, and was about to give vent to some anger and slam the door when I realized at the last moment that it would probably wake Michelle, so I closed the door quietly and then took out my frustration on a chair, kicking it and then instantly regretting it as I felt the pain in my toes. I hopped around for a bit, cursing quietly, then hobbled to the bed, where I massaged my toes while I let the tears fal
l unchecked. I sniffed loudly, then stilled as I heard a quiet knock on my door.
“Helen, can I come in?”
“No, you can’t”, I said, trying to keep the trembles out of my voice.
“We need to talk, Helen”, came Mitch’s voice through the door.
“I think you’ve said enough for one day, don’t you?” I yelled back, unable to control myself any longer.
Obviously the walls weren’t thick enough to muffle my voice, as Michelle began to cry, her voice low at first as she obviously just woke up, then louder as she became indignant that no-one was coming to pick her up. I wanted to go, but didn’t want to have to limp past Mitch, with the evidence of my tears still on my face. I was just about on the point of giving up and going, when I heard a muffled voice from the other side of the door, and the sounds of Mitch’s steps receding. I heard Michelle’s cries diminishing as Mitch must have picked her up, then I heard Mitch’s voice getting louder as he approached my door again.
“We’re coming in Helen”, he said, as I heard the doorknob begin to turn, “Michelle is asking for Mummy, and she’s starting to get upset.”
I heard the door open and Mitch approach, then Michelle was deposited into my lap. I put my arms around her and squeezed her tight, then realized that Mitch hadn’t changed her. Without a word, I got up, holding Michelle in my arms and walked out, brushing past Mitch. I walked into Michelle’s room, hearing his soft footsteps behind me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked as I went back into Michelle’s room, and looked around, looking for the change table and some supplies. I didn’t look at Mitch as I spoke, not wanting him to see my face.
“She’s wet. She smells too, you didn’t think to change her?”
Forgotten Husband Page 4