Embittered Ruby

by Nicole O'Dell

  No. If she did, he’d make her talk to the police. She’d have to go back there. She’d have to see those people. Carmen would be in the news. And Hillary would find out about what happened. Nope. Way better to leave it all behind and move on with her new life. But if that was how she was going to play it, she’d better pull herself together.

  Carmen weaved her way through the maze of travelers and Salvation Army Santas ringing their holiday bells. They started earlier and earlier every year it seemed. Here they were, still more than a week from Thanksgiving, and they were at it already. Santa hats and all.

  Finally she had to maneuver past a street band with an open guitar case sprinkled with coins before she could step into the restroom. She splashed some cool water onto her face and gazed into the mirror.

  Who was that person? Virtually unrecognizable, inside and out.

  Out in the main corridor, Carmen checked the arrival and departure displays. Twenty minutes until the train for Ossining. She should call the hospital to find out about Diego while she waited. But would they tell her anything if she didn’t give her name? They probably wouldn’t talk to her even if she did tell them who she was because she wasn’t family. And what if they had a way to trace the call? She wanted nothing to do with this situation.

  Diego had risked his life—maybe given it—for her, and she abandoned him. Just walked away like nothing had happened. But what could she have done? If she’d stayed, she’d probably have been shot, or worse. Plus, the last thing she wanted was to be on the evening news somehow connected to those gangs. Hillary would have loved it, and it just might have pushed Nate over the edge, too. This way Carmen could just move on. Maybe she’d be able to visit Diego in a few days—if he were alive. If she thought she wouldn’t get caught.

  Her train squealed into the station, and the doors opened. She climbed in and settled in a seat. Head back on the headrest, Carmen closed her eyes and begged for sleep to come. Anything to forget.

  Bang. Bang. Bang. The sound of the gunshots replayed in her mind over and over. Who shot whom first? It had sounded like Diego had taken the first bullet. But there was no way to tell. She’d probably find out on the news later that night.

  What if he died for her? Was it her fault? She didn’t deserve such a good friend.

  “Hi, honey. I’m home.” Carmen breezed through the door and let her bags slide to the ceramic tile floor in the entryway.

  “I know, silly. I just picked you up from the train station.”

  Carmen giggled. “Oh, humor me. I’ve always wanted to say that.”

  “Come here, you.” Nate rushed to her and pulled her into a tight embrace. “I’m glad you’re here. Can you believe it?”

  Every few minutes Carmen managed to put the events of the evening out of her head and revel in the excitement of moving in with Nate. “No, I can’t believe it at all. It can’t get any better than this.”

  But then it all came rushing back into her consciousness. Be calm. It would be okay if she could just make it through the night without breaking down. Everything hinged on her being able to keep control.

  “Yep. It can. Come on over here and have a seat.” Nate pulled Carmen’s hand to the floral couch. “Be right back. One sec.” He tore off down the hallway toward the two bedrooms in back.

  Thankfully the place was furnished, even though the floral was a bit much for her taste. Almost like they’d expected a gardener to live there. Oh, maybe that’s what the house was meant for. Either way, at least Carmen and Nate didn’t have to worry about furniture.

  Nate returned and sat beside her. He took Carmen’s hand and slipped off the sofa, down to one knee. He whipped a small blue box out of his NYU sweatshirt pocket with his free hand. “I love you, and I love the idea of our family. I can’t wait to spend my life with you. So, will you marry me?” He flipped the top open to reveal a round solitaire in a white-gold vintage setting.

  Carmen gasped. The ring he’d chosen looked like a cross between all the ones she’d circled in Cosmo Bride during the past week. It had to be at least a full carat. Wonder where he’d gotten the money to buy it. “It’s gorgeous. I can’t even believe it’s mine. How can you afford this?”

  Nate plucked the ring from its velvet nest and slipped it on Carmen’s finger. “Don’t you worry about it. I have some money. We’ll talk about all that another time. Let’s just enjoy the moment.”

  Carmen sank back into the cushions and held her hand in front of her face. She twisted it in every direction to see the rainbows of light twinkle off the diamond. “It’s amazing. I’m so excited.” She grabbed Nate’s hands and squeezed. “I couldn’t be happier.”

  “You still haven’t answered yet. Will you marry me?”

  “Of course I will!” She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close. “I already told you that before.” Carmen giggled.

  “I know, but the ring makes it official. And since you said yes, I have another surprise for you.”

  Carmen pulled back. “Really? What could it be? You’ve already given me everything I wanted.”

  “Not quite.” He handed Carmen a legal-sized envelope.

  “What is this?” She turned it over in her hands.

  “Just open it. You’ll see.” Nate sat back with a smug grin on his face.

  Carmen slid her finger under the seal and popped the flap open. She pulled out a packet of papers. “This looks like a contract.” She unfolded it and stared at the Sleepy Hollow Country Club centennial crest logo at the top of the page. “Is this what I think it is?”

  “You’re now a member in good standing, and Zach will meet you on the indoor courts tomorrow at nine o’clock.”

  Carmen’s eyes filled with tears. All she’d wanted was to feel loved, cared for, protected. And here Nate was giving her all of those things and way more. “I don’t know how to thank you. This night means so much to me. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “Bad timing, I know. But I have to go to the bathroom. Bad. Part of pregnancy, I guess.” Carmen stood up. “Don’t go anywhere though.”

  Nate stretched out on the couch and reached for the remote. He winked. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  At least the nausea seemed to have passed during the last week. The constant need to visit the bathroom wasn’t so bad when it didn’t involve vomiting. Carmen lowered her jeans and stepped over to the toilet. What was that? She bent to look closer. A spot of bright-red blood on her princess frog panties. Blood was never good while pregnant, was it? Did it always mean tragedy, or was there such a thing as normal blood? Why hadn’t she listened when the nurse was rattling off the instructions?

  Should she call someone for help? The spot was only about the size of a quarter. Carmen huddled on the toilet and pulled out her phone. In the Google search bar, she typed bleeding at ten weeks pregnant.

  Hundreds of things came up on the results page.

  Might be nothing.

  Might be something.

  Probably nothing.

  Unless more blood showed up, she’d go with the probably nothing angle. The explanation for the potential causes seemed viable. Stretching cervix. Changing body. Infection. All reasonable and not really dangerous to her or the baby. Well, infection wasn’t great, but it could be treated. She’d keep her eye on things and follow the advice.

  Now to decide whether or not to tell Nate.

  Nah. Why start now with honesty and openness?

  Chapter 19

  Carmen pulled the blanket up to her chin and nuzzled into the bed. What rubbed against her foot? She opened one eye, and memories flooded in with the sunlight. She was in her new home, sleeping beside Nate. “Mmm. What a nice way to wake up. Let’s just stay like this all day.”

  Nate pulled her close. “I’m all for it.”

  Tennis. Carmen sat up. “What time is it? I have lessons today.” She jumped from the bed and searched for her backpack. So much for playing house.

  “Hah. My gift came ba
ck to bite me already. I should have scheduled your lesson for two o’clock in the afternoon.”

  “Yeah. That’ll teach you.” Carmen winked.

  “Oh, hey. If you’re wondering what to wear, check the closet.”

  Carmen rushed to the mirrored bifold and pulled it open. Six or seven hangers held various clothing items she’d have to check out later. But right now her eyes zeroed in on two tennis dresses. A white one and a black one. “You’re spoiling me, Nater.”

  “I fully intend to keep doing it.” He rolled over. “But right now I’m going back to sleep. Let me know when it’s five minutes from time to go.” Nate pulled the maroon-and-navy-striped comforter over his head.

  “Deal.”

  How was it that just last week she was a seventeen-year-old high school junior, and now she was building a family with the man she loved? Exactly where she wanted to be. And it was almost Thanksgiving. Would she and Nate have their very first Christmas tree in a couple of weeks? What a dream come true.

  Now, which dress to choose. Memory of the blood from last night twinged at her gut. She’d wear the black one, just in case. Maybe she shouldn’t even play tennis right now. Should she call the doctor? She would at least tell Zach she needed to take it easy. He might even notice why. The tennis dress didn’t look like it would conceal her tiny round baby bump.

  Hair in a ponytail, she nudged Nate. “Hey, you. I’m about ready to go. You coming, too?”

  “Of course. We have big plans today.” He rolled from the bed and stumbled to the bathroom. The door clicked shut, and the shower gushed.

  Great. He’d never be ready in five minutes. Why did men always do that? Allow only a fraction of the time it actually took to get ready and then wonder why they’re always late? Oh well. Carmen sat down at the computer and typed, Is it okay to play sports while pregnant?

  She scanned article after article that all seemed to say a pregnant woman was perfectly able to do whatever her body was used to doing before the pregnancy. Don’t start any new sports or activities, but keep right on doing the familiar. It said some people even ran marathons while pregnant if their body had been conditioned for it before.

  What if it had been a couple of months though? Carmen hadn’t played in a while, but she felt positive her body was still conditioned for it. So, according to the articles, it was okay to play tennis. Should she maybe not do it though? It had only been a few hours since she’d had the bleeding incident. And the day before had been pretty traumatic for her. Maybe it would be best to sit out one more week. If she explained why, Nate and Zach would understand.

  But then Nate would make her go to the doctor. Unless maybe she showed him the articles. If he read the bleeding could be absolutely nothing, maybe he’d not jump to crazy and get all worried. No. Who was she kidding? That wasn’t her Nater. He’d go ballistic. And he’d be mad she didn’t tell him right when it happened. What to do?

  Nate opened the bathroom door wearing nothing but a towel, his blond hair glistening from his shower. He looked her over and grinned. “I can’t wait to see you on the courts looking all hot and sweaty in that tennis dress.”

  Yeah. It was settled. She was playing.

  “Zach!” Carmen jogged out onto one of the indoor courts and hugged her instructor. “I’ve missed you, and I’ve desperately missed playing so much.”

  “Ah, so the tennis gets a desperately, but me just a little? I see how I rate.” Zach winked a clear-blue eye that had brought many girls to swoon. “Seriously though, I’ve missed you, too, girl. Bird on the wire says a lot’s been going on with you these days.” Zach held her out at arm’s length and looked right at her belly. “You sure you’re okay to play?”

  Guess he knew already. “Of course. Should take it a bit easier than I used to. But I’m good.” She jogged over to her serving position.

  Carmen twirled her tennis racquet in her hands then rotated her shoulders to loosen up. She threw the ball up in the air, reared the racquet back, and let go with a smash that surprised even her.

  Zach saw it coming and didn’t bother to try returning it. “That’s not what I’d call taking it easy.”

  “I know. Just getting it out of my system. It feels great to let loose a little.”

  They settled into a comfortable cadence of volleys that echoed off the walls and reminded Carmen why she loved the game so much.

  “Hey. It’s been thirty minutes. Shouldn’t you take a water break?”

  Carmen nodded. “Good idea.” She took her water and sat on the edge of the bottom bleacher. She emptied the bottle in two long drinks.

  “Um. Carmen, I’m not liking how you look right now. You’re kind of pale, sort of ashy.” Zach squatted down and looked into her eyes. “You okay?”

  “I think so. I am a little crampy though. Maybe I should rest awhile.” Things felt a little funny. Zach looked kind of fuzzy.

  Zach eyed her for a moment.

  “What? I’m okay.”

  He nodded. “I’ll be right back.” He jogged over to a locker-room attendant who was picking up towels in the bleachers. Zach must have told him to do something because he took off running from the gym.

  What was happening to her? Carmen’s thoughts grew a bit fuzzy.

  “It’s going to be okay.”

  “Nater? You’re here?” What was the warm feeling between her legs? “I think I might have wet myself. Can you help me?”

  Nate nodded and squeezed her. “Help is on the way. You’re going to be okay.”

  Her stomach clenched, and it felt like her back was ripping in half. “My stomach hurts really bad.” What did it mean? Was the baby okay? Was she dying?

  “I know. I know. Just hold on.”

  “Stop scratching, sweetie.”

  Who was that woman talking to her? Why were they holding her hands so tight? “It itches. What’s going on?” Make it stop.

  “She’s waking up.” The same woman spoke again.

  “Hey, babe. Can you hear me?”

  Nate’s voice. He was there.

  “Why do I itch so bad?” She tried to open her eyes, but the room was so bright.

  “You had an allergic reaction to the morphine. The itching should start to go away soon. We gave you some Benadryl.”

  Morphine? Carmen looked up at the nurse. “What happened?”

  The nurse looked beyond Carmen and nodded to Nate.

  He stepped to the bedside and took Carmen’s hand. “You…had an accident. You started bleeding. You were…very sick. We…” He begged the nurse with his eyes.

  If Nate couldn’t bring himself to tell her, then her worst fears were confirmed. “The baby?”

  Nate shook his head.

  “Sweetheart, you were hemorrhaging. You could have died. There was nothing we could do at that point.” The nurse patted Carmen’s arm just below the IV.

  Carmen placed her hand on her lower abdomen where she’d only recently noticed the changes signaling the growing life. “Is it…Did you…Will I…?” How could she ask some stranger to confirm her dead baby was no longer inside her? But she already knew.

  “It’s all over, sweetie. You’re going to be sore for a few days. And you’re going to stay here at least overnight to receive fluid and possibly more blood. But the hard part is over.”

  That’s what she thought. Carmen nodded and rolled to her side.

  Nate came around to the other side of the bed and crouched down to Carmen’s eye level.

  No. Not now. She couldn’t deal with Nate being sweet to her right then. Not after all she’d put him through. She needed peace and blessed sleep. She fluttered her eyes and pretended to drift off.

  “Poor dear. She’s had a tough time of it.” The nurse reached over Carmen’s head from behind her and dimmed the overhead lights.

  “Yes, she sure has.” Nate sighed. “Do you think she’ll sleep for a while?”

  “Oh yes. Morphine was enough to knock her out, but then the Benadryl to fight the allergy will do an even
better job of it.”

  “Okay, I’m going to go get something to eat. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  “You take your time, honey. She’ll be out for hours.”

  Not likely. Carmen’s guilt pummeled her brain. If she could ever manage to fall asleep, it would be sweet relief from the pain she felt and the pain she’d caused. But there was no way her body would…

  Carmen’s eyes blinked open.

  Darkness filled the room.

  She let her eyes flutter closed again. What time was it? Had she actually slept? It felt like someone was in the room with her, but she didn’t want to move. The peaceful quiet felt too good to destroy.

  “You awake?”

  Mom. What did she know? Had she been told about the baby? Carmen opened her eyes and searched for her mom.

  They locked eyes.

  Carmen swallowed. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Neither do I.” Mom smiled softly and tightened her skirt against the back of her legs then sat on the edge of the bed. “I hadn’t seen this coming at all. I sort of feel like a fool. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you—I was so clueless.” Mom’s face morphed as her emotions went through the spectrum.

  “It’s not your fault, Mom. I’m sorry that you were blindsided by all of this. It really wasn’t fair to you.”

  “No. It wasn’t fair.” Mom smoothed her pink suit lapel. “I have to ask you some things, Carmen. I’m sorry to throw this at you in the middle of all you’re going through. But the police came to see me twice, I spoke with your father and Tiffany on the phone, and I’ve pieced some things together myself. All I need from you are some yes or no answers, okay?”

  “K.” If it weren’t for the sound of her heartbeat, Carmen would swear time stood still.

  “Were you involved in a gang fight yesterday?”

  Carmen nodded. What must Mom think of her?

  “Did you place an anonymous emergency call to report the shooting?”