Note to bad guys looking to hire minions: hire experienced ones.
It was done. It was over. She’d won. Arabella turned her back to gaze at Felix. His rugged face was a little banged up, somehow making him more handsome. She could do without the attitude, however. He was safe, and they’d gotten out of there unharmed—how was inconsequential, and he needed to get over it. He should take a long, reflective look internally if he wanted to blame someone for why he’d been captured by Darek in the first place. Or at least take half the blame after he checked his bank account again.
Voices buzzed commands in her ear. There were no cries for help, no calls for an ambulance. Good. None of the team or the police needed to get hurt over her issue. The one she’d essentially dropped off on their doorstep.
She’d brought this shit to all of them, and they’d stepped up. She loved that about the job she was leaving behind: the group atmosphere, the people who looked out for your back. She needed that type of camaraderie in the next phase of her life.
One strong, hard arm was pressed up against her, had been since they’d taken the position behind the truck, but now . . . now the pressure was at the forefront of her mind. Now she didn’t want Felix to move, to walk away.
Felix had flaws—she had a laundry list of her own—but they were better together. They pushed each other and didn’t give up when things got shitty. At least not until this week. It didn’t have to be divorce city for them. She sighed mentally—she’d been right to feel weary before. The two step forward, one step back dance they’d been doing for nearly six years wasn’t working out for her anymore. It was exhausting and she was tired. They either needed to be all in or all out, and she honestly didn’t know which one she was rooting for at this point.
“Arabella.” Alex didn’t sound happy. “Where are you?”
“Timing is everything,” she whispered as her gaze flicked to Felix’s lips. Now was not the time. It was never the right time to tell Felix he was still her world. And maybe that in itself meant something.
“Arabella,” Alex’s voice boomed again. “Did you kill him?”
“Alex is pissed,” she translated for Felix’s benefit since he didn’t have his earbud anymore. Felix even winced a touch at that report. Maybe Alex had more pull in law enforcement than she’d originally suspected.
Eddie’s stand attached to his sniper rifle clicked as he put it back in place, satisfied the threat was over.
She stood, reaching behind her to put her gun in the small of her back where her waistband started, and headed straight for the group of people in black rounding up Darek’s men. She caught Alex’s eye and veered for him at the front door of the boathouse.
He stood tall over Darek’s dead body, hands on hips. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” He shook his head then wiped his palm over the length of his handsome face.
“No. He gave a kill order. But I’m not sorry. He wasn’t getting away this time.” There were still evils in the world, and some that she’d always have to personally watch out for, but Darek would no longer be on that list.
Felix came up behind her and stopped at her side. She stepped to her right, away from him—her reality warred with her dreams. She was numb. There was too much to process about the last couple of hours, handful of days, and long years.
“Even dead, the guy has to be worth a promotion.” Felix stared Alex down.
“For your wife’s sake, I hope so.” He left them, shaking his head.
Her cheeks started to burn at the surprise in Felix’s gaze. “I . . . it was a heated situation, and I slipped.” But, you know what? She wasn’t sorry. She didn’t care anymore if people knew they were married. Or divorced. Or whatever the hell happened. The days of hiding what she did in her life were over, across the board.
Without one word, Felix gathered her in his arms and pulled her into the warmth of his chest. The heat she loved sinking into didn’t last long. Her nose was cold—she was cold all over now that the sun had set long ago and her fight-or-flight mentality was wearing off. His warmth should be running freely through her body and touching the parts of her that only he could. Darek was dead, and the threat was gone. She was free to go her way.
The worst could’ve happened tonight. She could be kneeling over Felix’s dead body right now. His strong arms around her confirmed he was very much alive, but even that good fortune couldn’t overtake the sadness that consumed her. Reality wouldn’t leave her alone.
“Thank God you’re okay.” He kissed her forehead, and his lips lingered as he rested his head on hers.
“Always.” She spoke into his chest, wishing she could hear his heartbeat through the bulletproof vest that was a barrier to feeling his hard muscles and torso. She pulled back but not fully out of his embrace. “No thanks to you.”
He didn’t flinch, he didn’t grind his jaw, and he didn’t even question her accusation. “You’re the one who made the first move.”
“You’re the one who took money.”
“That was part of the deal.” His fingers dug into her hips as if he was trying to keep her there with him—no doubt he could sense her need to flee.
“Since when?”
“Since always.” He stared at her. Hard.
She glanced past his shoulder, to the spot where she’d watched him betray her, and her gut clenched. “I saw you with Darek. I saw you making the deal.”
“At the grocery store? I know.”
She closed her eyes to have one more second, one more moment with him before everything changed forever. He’d held up his end of the deal, and now she was going to hold up hers.
“No. At the pier.”
His forehead wrinkled, and she stepped back, letting her hands fall to her side.
“When I was waiting for you guys to find us?”
“More like when you were coming up with a new plan to turn me over.” She managed not to squeak out the words in despair, so that was a positive.
He looked to the sky; a grim set to his lips was all she could stare at. Then she watched as exasperation took over his body completely, down to his hands on his hips. “I’m sick of having these conversations with you. When will you learn to trust me?”
“When you give me a reason to.” Maybe her words were unfair, maybe they weren’t, and maybe he could say the same about her. Maybes didn’t make a relationship work.
“Arabella.” Winter’s voice came through the comm loud and clear, taking Arabella from the trance she so badly wanted to fall under with Felix right now. “You’re needed downtown at the station. Standard procedure. Can you tell Felix to see me?”
“Sure will.”
“What?” Felix asked then stepped closer, bringing their hips together with his palms around her waist, and kissed her forehead again.
He’d never kissed her right after an argument before, especially not after it was clear they were both at the end of their ropes.
She tilted her head up and brushed the tip of her nose on his jaw. She wanted to say crazy things like “You’re my world, I’m still in love with you, and don’t make me leave you.” Instead, she pushed up on her tiptoes to meet his lips and kissed him. Before it could turn into anything, before the passion could sink into her bones, she lowered her heel.
She started to smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Winter needs you and I have to go.”
A mixture of emotions—of what she wasn’t quite sure—flitted across his face. “Come over for a late dinner? We should talk.”
She nodded, separated herself from him, and walked away, taking deliberate steps so she didn’t crumble. There’d be time enough for that later with a drink in her hand.
Chapter Fourteen
Felix finished giving his statement to Alex and headed toward the truck parked east of the market.
“What happened to your comm?” Eddie jogged to meet up with him.
He increased his stride. He required a shower before Arabella came over. A stench emanating from hi
s pits was the last thing he needed when he told her he wanted a second chance. No. Not tell her, he was going to ask her for a second chance. With a heavy overlay of a begging tone, more than likely.
“Think it got knocked out when we fought.”
“Damn. Those things are pricey.”
Felix expected more information about how Eddie had to build them or some fact about saltwater and the minute technology of the buds, but instead silence lingered. Eddie was never quiet when they weren’t in the thick of combat. Felix stopped at the bed of the truck. “Say it.”
“What?”
“Say whatever it is you have to say.”
“You’re married? To Arabella?” Disbelief turned into an expression of you-sly-dog on Eddie’s face as Felix nodded. “Like, as of yesterday or what, man?”
“Do you need a ride to the office?” Felix opened the door to the cab.
“Yeah.”
As soon as Eddie’s door slammed and he swiveled in his seat, one hand on his thigh, the other scratching the back of his head, Felix knew that hadn’t been the end of the conversation.
“Seriously. How long have you been with her? I can’t believe you landed her.”
You and me both.
His friends might find out he was married and divorced all in a twenty-four hour period if he didn’t plan out the right words. He’d seen relief in Arabella’s eyes when he’d come out of the boathouse—he wanted to see that same relief followed by passion later when he confessed to still being in love with her.
Felix dropped off Eddie without too much more fanfare about Arabella and headed home to shower and then pace.
He could’ve made dinner to pass the time, but his stomach was too messed up in knots. When she got here, he would make her anything she was hungry for. Deep down, he hoped she wouldn’t be hungry for food but for him. For them. For a new life together. He missed her smiling face in the morning, he missed their sparring, and he missed being able to love her. All of her.
He checked his watch again and stared out the window, willing headlights to appear. Maybe when she walked through his door, she’d go straight for his lips. Her intensity never ceased to amaze him. She went balls to the wall constantly, whichever direction she deemed right. And when she was coming at him full force, it was the best thing in the world.
And what about when they had kids? She’d be one hell of a mom, and nobody would ever mess with their kids if they were half the badass she was.
But minutes stretched into hours that turned into dawn. She wasn’t coming.
Arabella had made her decision after all.
Chapter Fifteen
Arabella paced outside of Felix’s front door. She’d driven straight to his place after visiting the first lawyer who answered her call this morning. She’d laid a hefty sum on the man’s desk to draw up the divorce paperwork right then and there. She’d just stood there, not believing this was her life, as he’d filled in a standard form.
How had it come to this? She frowned. The answer sucked—she hadn’t given it her all, and she’d let their love disappear. But, the thing was, it hadn’t. She loved Felix, all his gruffness and hard edges and soft heart. And even his deceit. He was a good man who made her laugh and who understood her world. Understood her. And she knew him and how he operated.
She wore black heels, black pants cuffed close to her ankle, and a sheer white, sleeveless dress shirt, and she had a one-way ticket in her hand to Naples, Italy. Home was where she was going to start deciding who she was now and what she wanted to be.
She stared a hole through his bland cream door and took a deep breath. It was now or never. Disappearing would only put off the inevitable, and he deserved closure. They both did. Even if she really didn’t want to leave him.
She knocked on the door, stood tall, and stuck out her chin a little. I don’t care. This is another transaction. This is for the best. If she were going to get through this, she would have to act like he was one of her marks and she was sultry, confident, and didn’t give a damn. So the complete opposite of how she really felt. There’d be time to cry in the plane bathroom later and when she was home in her seaside villa.
The door swung open, and Felix filled the frame. The hard set to his face was carved in stone, which was rigid even for Felix.
“Good morning.” Her voice was light and playful, exactly what she was going for. She met his eyes with a coy smile and stepped toward him, forcing him to move to the side. She clenched the envelope in her hand a little tighter as she walked to the island and pivoted to face him. Her heart was racing out of control, but she knew he couldn’t tell. She was the only one who could hear her blood pumping and the thumping against her chest.
“It’s a little late for dinner.” He closed the door and stopped on the other side of the counter, folding his arms across his broad chest, ice in his eyes.
He had a right to be pissed. She should’ve begged off in a text. The problem was starting a conversation with him—once she started talking to him, she didn’t want to stop. She loved hearing his opinions, his ideas, his plans, their banter, and riling him up for fun.
“I stopped by to give you this before my flight.” She slid the manila envelope across the granite. “My part of the deal.”
He gazed down at the rectangle, but she desperately wanted to see his eyes. She needed affirmation this was what he wanted. He didn’t give it to her—when his eyes met hers again, there was no emotion, no indication he was hot under the collar or happy or sad. Nothing.
It was time to go. She’d overstayed her welcome in more ways than one.
“Thank you for your help, Felix. Really. If you ever need anything . . . ” She let her words trail off. She meant them, but they both knew he’d never call her if he were in trouble. They were never going to speak or see each other again. They had no reason to. This was it. Almost six years of her life gone.
She started for the door, concentrating on her breathing. One foot in front of another. She just had to make it to her rental. Just a few more steps.
“Arabella.”
She didn’t stop. She couldn’t now. Her hand touched the cold brass of the front doorknob.
“I have one more question.” His voice was low but sturdy.
Her head hung a bit as she waited. She closed her eyes. She never wanted to remember this moment again—if she could erase it all and a whole bunch of other key moments with Felix, maybe she had a chance at a decent life. As it looked now, she was going to be miserable and heartbroken forever.
“You could’ve gone to a number of people to help you out. Why did you come to me?”
She swallowed as her body numbed. There were a dozen different lies that she could tell him, some partial truths, but there was only one answer. And she’d known it all along.
“Because I missed you.” The words passed through her lips but were foreign to her ears. Vulnerability wasn’t something she embraced on a regular basis. There was no fake emotion or façade she could muster now—she had no power to put on a front or lie.
She was exposed. She was that defenseless young girl in the hospital bed all over again who was waiting for even the slightest bit of love from the people whom she loved the most in the world. Naive hope prickled the back of her ears
Her mind settled, and she realized he’d said nothing to her comment. She started to twist the handle.
“Don’t go.”
Her hand froze mid turn as his words registered. His deep voice was huskier.
She squared her shoulders and slowly turned around. Did he want to have the last word . . . or call off the divorce?
Her gaze found him in the same spot she’d left him—standing in front of the kitchen island, arms crossed. His head was sunk, and she focused on the long curve of his neck.
“Why?” She had so many more questions, but that was the biggie.
Her throat tightened. If the words professional security came out of his mouth, she was going to kill him for toying with
her feelings.
She stepped closer to Felix, stopping at the short edge of the island.
“You want a new start. Start here.” His gaze rose and found her eyes. They were soft. Loving.
She wasn’t talking to military Felix; she was talking to her lover. Yet cues she normally looked for in his stance, the severity of his frown, the creases at the sides of his eyes, the muscle in his jaw, suddenly didn’t compute into a firm answer of his objective. She couldn’t judge his intended meaning without adding what she wanted to see, to hear, to feel. She was over being impartial when it came to Felix.
The envelope on the counter hadn’t been touched. Her life was sealed in that pocket. She should probably be grateful to Darek in some way—his hunt had led her to Felix and the realization that he wasn’t just part of her past that she had tucked away. He was a part of her. She loved life with him a hell of a lot more than she liked it without.
He was her everything.
“Say what you mean.” She gazed back to him, finding comfort in the blue of his stare. There was a time and place for their fun games. Now was not one of them.
His chest rose high before falling. “I don’t want a divorce.”
“And what does that look like in your world?” She shook her head. The status quo didn’t work for her anymore. She needed all of him or nothing. “We see each other once a year? That doesn’t work for me.” Before he could offer her some half-ass solution he thought would appease her, she continued. “I want everything. I want to love and live in the same home. I want to make a home. I want a new job with a purpose. I want kids.” She took a deep breath. “I’ve already asked for a discharge.”
“Good.”
“Good?” To which part?
“Yeah.” He stood inches away from her; his woodsy scent flowed over her and drew her in. “We can have all of that. Together.”
Her hair swooshed over her cheeks as she shook her head. “What makes you so sure we can make it this time? Our track record sucks.”
He grabbed the tan envelope and tore it in two, throwing the pieces back onto the counter. Her wedding band bounced on the counter and settled in the middle of them. Neither made a move for the little, diamond-encrusted silver ring that had once been a symbol of their love.
Hearts Are Wild Page 73