Though he might never be the same.
The new alarm in Alexa’s expression said the same thought may have occurred to her. “Bing...what…what are we doing?”
He decided he better ratchet down the situation. Hauling in a breath, he tried to calm himself. “I’m your wedding events-escort.”
Her gaze cut away, cut back. “Bing…”
“But we could make it something else too.” Might as well lay it on the line. Yeah, he’d promised Brody he wouldn’t touch her, but God knew he was no angel.
“Bing—”
“We want to, doll. Admit it. I do.” He tapped his chest then pointed his finger at her. “You do.”
“But…but…” Her face expressed adorable confusion. “Is it wise?”
Oh, a wild girl shouldn’t be such a worrier. What would it be like to release Alexa from the prison of her strait-laced self-concept? How much fun would it be to be the one to unlock each inhibition? Still, he took pity on her and shrugged. “This is all up to you.”
“Well, I don’t want to feel like this,” she said, clearly disgruntled.
“Like this?” he prompted.
“When you look at me like that, when you use those words, you make me feel unbalanced. Too…” She looked away again. “Too emotional.”
He laughed at her. “You’re not emotional. You’re too smart to become emotional about a man like me. What you are is horny.”
Alexa glared at him. “Then I don’t want to feel horny.”
“Doll.” He lowered his voice. “Don’t make me pity you now. Horny’s a damn good state to be in, especially if you’ve got a volunteer willing and ready to scratch your itch.”
“I don’t like anything you say.”
Shrugging again, he bit back a smile. “You’ll like everything I do.”
“Bing, has anyone ever told you you’re a conceited jerk?”
He rubbed his knuckles against his jaw. “A time or two. But you’re making this all too difficult, Lex.”
“I’m afraid to ask you how to make it easy.”
“Just let go a little.”
“I can’t.” It was immediate. Certain.
Bing told himself there was no good reason to feel disappointed. Even if she unwrapped herself with him, it would be only temporary anyway. But God, wouldn’t he like to be there when she felt to the marrow?
The problem was, in her world, following that came love like there’s no tomorrow.
That, he didn’t have that in him.
“Okay, doll,” he said, sighing. “We’ll do this wedding business and ignore the rest.”
“Thanks.”
“But do you think you can keep your hands off me?” he asked, not resisting the urge to tease her a little. It would be damn tough for him to keep his to himself now that they’d put this mutual yearning on the table.
Sue him, but he thought it was cute as hell the way she seemed to consider the question so seriously. Her two front teeth dug into her full lower lip. Oh, Lex, how I’d love to let you fly.
“I suppose so,” she finally said, “as long as we keep our contact to a minimum.”
Yeah, that was safest. “Sure—”
The rest of his reply was cut off has her grandmother bustled into the room. She smelled of more cookies and looked at Bing with a fondness he didn’t deserve, considering all the nasty things he wanted to do with her granddaughter. “Did he tell you?” she asked Alexa.
“Tell me what?”
“The second sight, it didn’t fail me. I knew something great would happen today.”
“Nona?” Alexa’s brows drew together.
“You’re going to have to get used to his handsome face being around here a lot more,” the old woman said, smiling. “Your beau has agreed to take care of those storeroom shelves we need and a few other chores I have in mind for him.”
Chapter Six
“I don’t know how you do it,” Cilla Maddox said to Alexa.
She glanced over at the other woman. They both sat in her office at the bridal salon as she showed some of the websites she’d designed. “What? This computer work? I took some classes. And you can learn a lot from making mistakes and watching youtube videos.”
“No, I mean work here.” The blonde made a circular gesture with her hand. “At Bella Bridal with the woman who stole your fiancé.”
“Oh. Well. She’s my cousin. This is the family business.” The place was quiet right now though, with only Alexa and Cilla on the premises. They didn’t open until the afternoon on Tuesdays and everyone else had gone off on their quarterly field trip to all the bridal salons in the area¸ during which they’d gossip with the other owners and gather ideas for new styles and new products.
Cilla blew out a gust of air. “Still. Did you make a big scene?”
“A scene? No.” The idea of such a thing nauseated her. She’d witnessed what happened when a woman let emotion get the best of her. It had taken almost five years of hiding behind candy and ice cream and pasta and bread for the trauma to finally ease.
“Believe me, I would scream bloody murder and then probably commit it too if someone tried to take Ren away from me.”
Alexa smiled. “I don’t think Ren could be pried from your side.”
The other woman traced the tattoo on her wrist. “No,” she said softly, then looked up. “But if I’m not being too nosy, how did the ex get away from you?”
Hesitating, Alexa played her fingers over the keyboard, calling up another website. The formal engagement photo this couple had chosen for the home page made them appear anointed from on high, golden light bathing their hair and shoulders. Love looked like a blessing on them. “Well…”
“I’m sorry, it’s none of my business.”
“No,” Alexa said slowly. “It’s okay.” The fact was, outside of the family, she didn’t have girlfriends she shared with. She had her BFF, Brody, but the best thing about a guy friend was that they didn’t ask for any more than was offered. The Alessio girl cousins, all eight of them, had always been close, but since they’d known each other since they’d squabbled over rubber ducks in the bathtub, they assumed they automatically understood everything going on in her head and heart. And under the circumstances, talking about her ex was something she hadn’t wanted to delve into with them anyway.
It might feel good to unburden herself to another woman. Cathartic. “You’d have to know about Nico first.”
“Slimy.”
Alexa laughed. “Have you ever met him?”
“He has slimy morals.”
“No. Well, yes. I don’t know.” See, this was why she should talk about it. Maybe then she’d figure it out for herself.
“How did you meet him?” Cilla asked.
This part was easy. “He’s the grandson of an old friend of the family. When he moved to L.A., naturally we had him over for a few dinners, Sunday brunches. He’s gorgeous.”
“That’s something,” Cilla grumbled.
It made her smile. “I was flattered when he asked me out.” But then she sobered as a further truth revealed itself. “And my family was impressed that it was me he set his sights on.”
“Why’s that?”
Heat gathered under the collar of Alexa’s shirt. She glanced at the other woman who looked on her with kind eyes. She wasn’t judging.
“I’ve never dated much,” she admitted. “Guys didn’t pay attention to me in high school.”
Cilla tilted her head. “I find that hard to believe.”
“For the most part, I didn’t want their attention.” I ate to avoid it. “Then, when I went to college, I divided my time between studying and working here part-time. You don’t meet a lot of single men in a bridal salon.”
Cilla grimaced. “I suppose that true. So, along came Nico…”
“So along came Nico who had his pick of the Alessio girls and he picked me. My cousins were swooning with envy.”
The truth broke over her like the light on the wedding couple
displayed on her computer monitor. “Oh, God.” She grimaced. “I’m a bad person.”
“No—”
“I am.” She tugged at her skirt, trying to pull it lower. “I just realized…the best part about dating Nico was that it amazed my cousins. For the first time in forever, they wished they were me.”
Cilla was frowning. “I don’t think I like your cousins.”
“No, no. They’re fine. It’s just that they’d been feeling sorry for me for a long time and I knew it.” Poor Alexa. Poor, fat Alexa. “Then…” Shame made her hang her head.
“Then?”
“I was the first of the girl cousins to get engaged. I felt pretty good about that too.” She raked her fingers through her hair. “We’d been dating for a few months and Nico did the traditional thing—went to my dad and asked permission to marry me. After that, it was essentially a done deal.”
“He didn’t ask you first?”
“Nope. At a big family gathering, he requested to speak to my dad in the den. After a few minutes they came out again. My father was smiling. Nico went down on one knee in front of everybody.”
“Gee, no pressure.”
Alexa laughed. “Yeah. I see that now. But then…then I saw how thrilled my mother looked and how my cousins were staring at the ring he’d bought me…”
Cilla let the silence sit for a moment. “What are you thinking now?”
It wasn’t easy to admit aloud. “That we all were swept up by the idea of Alexa finally getting a man.”
“Have you looked in the mirror lately?” Cilla demanded. “You’re beautiful. You can’t possibly have any trouble attracting a man.”
She shrugged. “Some old notions persist.” Inside the tightest kernel of her heart she might always be the chubby girl who had her valentines rejected and who took her brother to the prom.
“Clearly Nico wanted you.”
“Yeah.” Alexa rubbed at her tight forehead. “In hindsight, I should have had sex with him.”
Cilla’s eyes went round. “You didn’t?”
“We didn’t date long before the engagement. Probably because I didn’t rush into bed with him he thought I was more enticing. Then once I had his ring on my finger, I thought…we’ll just wait until after the wedding. ” That should have been a sign in itself. She could hardly keep from rubbing against Bing at every opportunity but Nico had barely warmed her.
“You’re a romantic,” Cilla said, smiling.
“God, no.”
“Come on. You build these beautiful websites for couples beginning their lives together. If you weren’t a romantic, you’d be doing something else. Like…I don’t know, websites for people who breed puppies or deliver restaurant food all over town.”
Alexa shook her head, bemused. “Sometimes I don’t know what I am.” In her head she heard Bing calling her hot-blooded. Horny. Implying she wasn’t the quiet, self-contained girl she’d been all her life. The serene Alessio she’d aimed to be. “I definitely should have had sex with Nico,” she murmured. Maybe then she wouldn’t feel so…tense around a certain Maddox brother.
“Um, Lex? You’re not a virgin, are you?”
She shook her head, thinking of the college guy who was her first—the one who’d taken her final paper the next morning as he’d sneaked out her door. Really, she so, so sucked when it came to men. “But it’s been a long dry spell.”
Poor Alexa, never getting herself a man.
“We should do something about that,” Cilla said, straightening in her chair. “I thought you had a thing for Brody, but now… We’ll find you someone.”
Brody’s twin. The image of Bing burst in her head. Standing in this very room, all lean muscles and burning eyes. You’ll like everything I do to you.
Oh, she was afraid he was right. Feel to the marrow.
Cilla rubbed her hands together, enthusiasm personified. “I’ve got to think about this. You’re up for it, right? Me introducing you to a guy or two?”
“Someone told me recently I should let go a little.” Maybe that way she could let go of her stupid obsession with Bing Maddox, the man who’d guaranteed to make her like everything and so risk the one thing she wanted to protect…her heart.
“Exactly.” Cilla beamed. “You’ve had a bit of an ego-blow and now it’s time to come bouncing back. We’ll find a man who gets your blood humming.”
“Somebody, um, kind. Nice.” Not too edgy. Not Bing, who made her whole body buzz.
“Kind? Are you sure?” Cilla leaned close. “I can attest to the power of the edgy guy. The one who’s not quite so nice. A little darkness can make everything just a little bit, you know…hummier.”
“My mother warned me about men like that.”
“You don’t have to marry him.”
But Alexa might want to, she was sorely afraid. “Isn’t that what you’re about to do with Ren?”
Cilla smiled, blushed. “Oops.”
“A nice guy,” Alexa said firmly. Someone not out to steal bases. A man who didn’t walk around with the air of an experienced grand slammer.
“I’m so glad I came in today.” Cilla beamed.
“Me, too.” It had been good to talk this out. Sort it through with another woman. Even the threat of Bing, her wedding events-escort felt lessened now. She had a plan. Another man to scratch that itch he’d mentioned.
A sound in the hall had her head whipping around. She stared. It was as if she’d conjured him. Bing Maddox, in a pair of threadbare jeans, heavy workboots, a T-shirt with a rip over one pec so that she could catch a glimpse of his brown nipple.
Her blood started humming.
The air started humming.
Cilla looked around, alerted by Alexa’s tense posture or maybe the silent rush of all the particles that made up her atoms trying to mix with all the particles in the Bing-atoms.
“Hey!” The blonde smiled at her brother. “What are you doing here?”
He held up his metal toolbox. It made his bicep flex and the pumped heaviness of the muscle caused Alexa’s secret spot to spasm. She couldn’t help it.
“I’ve got some jobs to do.”
Alexa narrowed her eyes. “I didn’t hear you come through the front door.”
“The bell doesn’t work all the time. That’s one of the things I’m supposed to fix.”
He was looking at her with those burning eyes again. Her clothes felt too tight and she again tugged at the hem of her skirt.
What if he’d heard her conversation with his sister?
Mortified heat crawled up from beneath her collar. Think of all the things she’d confessed! “How long have you been here?”
“Just walked in, doll,” he said, then took himself down the hall.
She tried to feel relief. It must be true. It must. Because wasn’t he way too wicked to pull off such an innocent expression?
As he headed toward the Laurel Canyon compound, Bing told himself he was fine with this new turn of events—Lex on the hunt for some nice guy. He’d lied to her—he’d heard the whole damn thing about Nico and other men that she’d shared with his sister. Maybe he should feel bad about the falsehood and the eavesdropping, but in comparison to the other crap he’d done in his lifetime, it was nothing.
And really, he’d not had a chance of moving the moment she started spilling her secrets.
Bing, the bad twin.
Still, as uncaring as he was about Lex looking for a different man, he was glad of the distraction of another reunion of the nine. The Velvet Lemon kids. They’d grown up together at the compound but they’d not been a close-knit group. He’d had his twin, but the two of them and everyone else had been in survival mode, he figured. Looking out for Number One because there sure as hell wasn’t anybody else dedicated to the task.
Gwendolyn Moon had tried, he supposed.
The groupie had lived at the compound too, and done her best to mother them, but they were a half-tamed lot and generally suspicious of hugs and attempts to herd them into an
y routine that involved homework and bedtimes. By adolescence, the only lessons he and Brody focused on were the ones that involved a bed.
Christ.
He rubbed his face as he waited for the gates to open. It didn’t take a genius to understand why Ren and Cilla insisted on holding their little parties in Laurel Canyon. Love seemed to have steadied them and also given them the grand idea that the rock royalty should reclaim their childhood instead of running from it.
Love. He hoped his little sister and the man she chose could make that work. It surprised the hell out of him that they’d both been able to find the guts to take the risk. To leap.
From the number of cars parked by the Western-themed monstrosity built by String Bean Colson, it appeared he was the last to arrive. Usually he’d share a ride with Brody, but he’d driven to Topanga to check on a job before heading for the lunch his sister had taken to spreading out on the long tables near the outdoor kitchen.
He followed the sound of voices and found a crowd gathered near the buffet with paper plates already in hand. Cilla and Ren had opted for old-fashioned barbecue fare: burgers, dogs, a bowl piled high with potato salad. Another salad, this one green, dotted with avocado slices, strawberries, and pistachios.
Alexa’s specialty.
His head swiveled, and then he saw her, dressed in another sweet sundress, the color of those berries she’d brought. Her mouth was glossed with the same shade and her back was leaning against a column of the cantilevered overhang. Curved lips as she listened to the man standing toe-to-toe with her, one of his long arms propped on the very same support bracing her. It meant they were very close together.
Movement in his peripheral vision caught Bing’s eye. He spun toward it and stalked straight to Cilla who was carrying a platter piled with watermelon slices. “Are you crazy?” he demanded.
She gave him a guileless smile. “Lovely to see you, too,” she said, shoving the dish she held against his chest. “Take this, will you?”
He grabbed it reflexively, when what he really wanted to do was strangle his little sister.
“Are you shoving her at Reed, of all fucking people?”
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