by Magan Vernon
Not that I needed the praise, but when it came from Jack, my heart that was already beating rapidly went at full speed.
“Yeah. Your opinion matters to me.” His hand went to my knee and I should have swatted him away but instead I put my hand on his, squeezing it lightly.
He put his sandwich down, leaning in. “Not just in the company, mo gra, but your opinion of me matters, too. What can I do to convince you I’m not the same gobshite I was when we were younger?”
“You already have,” I whispered, pressing my lips to his and letting the world melt away around us.
…
I wanted to hate Jack Murphy.
But I couldn’t.
When he spoke sweetly and kissed me, all resolve melted.
My nights after work were spent with him and Jane at the park, then dinner and falling into bed together. Finally, I was connected with someone else, physically and mentally.
But guilt ached inside me.
Now that there was something more brewing, I couldn’t help but think on my mum’s words. And my own.
What if Jack and I really started dating? Then would she and Grandmum only assume it was to dupe him into falling for me and getting the company? They knew how I felt about marriage and it was only a matter of time before Jack realized that this wouldn’t end where he wanted it to.
By then it might be too late.
It would not only break me, but he could lose the company.
I could have stayed in bed, going over the scenarios that wounded my heart. But Jane yapped from the pillow next to me, alerting me I’d better feed her or she’d never shut up.
Once I let the dog out and poured her kibble, I looked at my phone and saw a missed email and call. It was Saturday, and Jack had planned another “business trip” as he called it to the market to meet with the bread seller.
I was pretty sure it was code for talking to the seller for five minutes then shagging. But he really did seem to be excited about the prospect of more local products in the pub, even showing off the photos he purchased to the board members whenever one of them stopped in.
Carolyn, my former editor, sent the email that pinged on my phone. I opened it and had barely read the “greetings” line when my former colleague, Sarah, called.
“Hello?” I answered, adrenaline coursing through me. I didn’t get through the entire email but the terms new line and need an editor jumped out at me.
“Why did it take you so long to answer?” Sarah got right to the point. I guess that’s why she was one of the few people I got along within the office. But I never considered us phone friends. I didn’t even remember I had her number in my contacts.
“It’s Saturday. I just woke up.” I turned on the kettle. Jack would probably bring coffee, or we’d get some at the market, but I loved a morning cuppa.
“Did you get the email from Carolyn?”
“Uh-huh. I just saw it,” I said, trying to hide the trepidation in my voice. What if she was calling to tell me that she accepted an offer as senior editor and wanted to make me her assistant?
“As you know, I’ve got a lot on my plate here. Especially since they let so many people go.”
“Right.”
“Carolyn approached me about the new line and asked if I knew anyone who might be interested in the senior editor position. I thought of you. I don’t know what you’re up to these days, but it’s a hell of an opportunity. Way better pay, too.”
“Oh. Wow.” Everything swirled in my head, my heart pounding in my ears. This was the phone call I’d been waiting for since the day I was laid off. I should be jumping for joy, but instead, something else tugged at my heartstrings.
No…someone.
“Wow, this is…this is not what I expected,” I said, trying to come up with the right words.
“I would’ve thought you’d be over the moon about this. But you sound like I just yelled at your dog,” she said, annoyance ringing in her voice.
“No. I’m just. Well, I’m in shock is all.”
She laughed. “Okay. I get that. But you’d better email Carolyn back ASAP, and hopefully, I’ll see you back in the office next week.”
“Thanks. I will,” I said, my brain still in a fog as we exchanged a few niceties before I disconnected the call.
It was everything I’d dreamed—running my own line with a successful publisher.
The only problem with all of this was that it left Jack and Ireland out of the equation. The job was in London. No virtual position.
The answer should have been easy. I should have been able to say “yes” to this dream job. Not seriously thinking about staying at Murphy’s Pub and with Jack.
Yet there I stood, staring at my phone, not noticing I was crying until the tears hit my lip.
I never cried over a man. Not one I dated and not my father when he left after the divorce was final. So why now?
Sighing, I decided to hop in the shower and get ready for the day. I tried to put everything about the job in the back of my mind and focus on my day with Jack.
Our time was coming to an end.
…
“I saw a gourmet dog treat booth that we’ll need to check out,” Jack said as we walked through the market.
We’d been quiet, but it had not been an uncomfortable silence. There was something about him that made it easy to say nothing at all with either of us thinking something was wrong.
But something was very wrong. The thing that bore deep within my stomach and soured the morning that should have been pleasant. Nothing was coming easy in my brain, and everything fogged, swirling together as I tried to make sense of what I really wanted. Could I have Jack and my dream job? Did I even really have Jack?
Maybe it would be better if I let him find someone else.
Blast.
This would be so much easier if I had someone to talk to. I couldn’t talk to Sean since this was his brother. And the only person who I was really close to also happened to be the same person I was debating on leaving or staying with.
I raised my eyebrows, trying to smile at Jack and not think of everything swimming in my brain. “I don’t think you need to get anything fancy for Jane Pawsten. She seems to like you without the treats.”
He laughed. “Nothing wrong with spoiling my girl.”
“Oh, so she’s your girl now?” I asked, feeling my chest tighten thinking how ingrained he’d become in my dog’s life.
She cried whenever he left and would jump into his arms as soon as we saw him for our nightly walks. She’d never taken a shine to anyone like she did him. If there was one thing I knew about people, it was that if a dog liked them, I trusted them. And that’s what gutted me the most. I should have trusted him and told him what my mother said and about the job offer, but I kept both bottled up.
“I already have a dog bowl and leash ready for her at my place. For when she stays the night.”
“She might not like that, nor would your neighbors. She’d be up barking and whining all night unless I constantly put my hand near the end of the bed for her to lick my fingers to know I’m there,” I said with a smirk, eying some well-worn books as we passed a seller.
“Then you’ll just have to come with us.”
I blinked and stopped, slowly turning toward him as my heart thudded in my chest. This was definitely more than a euphemism.
“I’m not staying at your place.”
He shrugged. “Just an option. If you and Jane ever wanted a change of scenery. The board has always talked about turning your flat and the others in the building into businesses. A boutique publisher would be lovely there. And I know just the girl who could run it.”
My mouth dropped open at his proposal and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. A mixture of nerves and, did I dare say, elation?
I may not have known what to think when I talked to Sarah, but when Jack talked about a small publisher in the flat, I immediately thought of transforming the space into a workroom. Exactly how I’d
bring in new clients and what kind of books I’d want to publish. I didn’t even think that far after reading Carolyn’s email.
But it was a silly notion. I couldn’t take any of it seriously. This was Jack. This was the guy who needed a wife. Something I didn’t want to be. Or so I thought.
But now…now… Now I didn’t know what I thought anymore.
“Jack…we…barely…”
His hand clasped mine, stopping my thoughts and sending the butterflies into full spasm mode. “We’ve known each other for most of our lives, and you said it yourself, your dream is to be a small publisher. You’re here, and we both know you’re made for so much more than my assistant. I care about you and I want what is best for you.
“I haven’t felt like this about anyone. But that has nothing to do with this business idea. It’s two separate things. You’ll still have the business and the flat. I’ll make sure of that. No matter what happens between us.”
I couldn’t think of a reason to say no.
The job offer in London.
My mother’s words.
The idea of marriage itself.
The company falling into the wrong hands if all of this didn’t work out between us.
Before I could answer, my phone rang. I shook my head, searching through my bag.
A new sense of dread coursed through me, hoping it wasn’t Carolyn or Sarah. Not while I was in the middle of this moment with Jack.
But instead of seeing either of their numbers flash across my screen, it was my mum’s and I let out a sigh of relief.
“Hello, Mum.”
“You’re finally not too busy to answer your phone. Does this mean I should expect you for tea this afternoon or do you have one of those work meetings again? You’ve been having an awful lot of those lately. I hope Jack isn’t working you too hard.”
I held back my laugh, Jack’s eyebrows wiggling as he listened to her words.
“Actually, I’m with him right now. Working, that is,” I said quickly.
She huffed. “Oh, well I guess you can invite him, too.”
“What?” I asked, my eyebrows raised so high they practically hit my hairline.
“The more, the merrier. I’ll make sure to set out an extra plate.”
“I…I don’t know…he’s an awfully busy man,” I stammered.
She huffed. “Gracie just invite him. You’re a grown woman, and you can do what you want but if you’d like to invite him then be here at half past two.”
Did Mum have some ulterior motive in inviting him? Make a fool out of me so he wouldn’t try to have a real relationship with me?
This was all bloody complicated and I was probably overthinking it.
I hung up the phone and looked at Jack, chewing on my bottom lip as I chose my words carefully. “Mum wants me to go there for tea. She told me to invite you but I feel like it’s probably a cover for something else. Like maybe she wants to see if we’re shagging or Grandfather wants to talk to you about business. I don’t know.”
I blew out a breath, before he could answer, everything coming out like word vomit. “It’s up to you. I don’t really want to be there, so maybe having you with would be a good excuse to leave early.”
I decided that was as good a reason as any. I could use a buffer with my mum, and maybe if he was there, she wouldn’t bring up the inheritance clause or her ludicrous plan. The one that she had to realize by now I was never going to do.
I wasn’t going to be his forever, his wife.
I just knew that I wasn’t ready for my day with him to end. Our time together at all.
I didn’t want to think about the email from Carolyn and what my answer would be. Or even what the future would be beyond today. I just wanted to escape all of it with him.
He took my hand and brought it to his lips, brushing his mouth against my knuckles. “As long as you’re there, I’ll go anywhere.”
Chapter Sixteen
Jack
Much like the Murphys, the Walsh family came from old money.
I knew this because as soon as Seamus retired from the jewelry business, he sold his lavish estate with a gymnasium, indoor swimming pool, multiple sitting rooms, and a golf course.
After uni, I ended up with a semi-detached brick home, much like the one we were pulling up to that the family had downgraded to. By downgrade, I mean the home cost two million euros instead of the twenty million euros his estate went for.
After the market that morning, Grace barely spoke.
“You know, we don’t have to do this. I could easily make a very important business call, and we’d have to run to the office. More importantly my desk,” I said, squeezing her hand and wiggling my eyebrows.
I didn’t fully understand her nerves. We were both adults, and I’d met her mam and grandparents dozens of times. But this was the first time we’d be with them together like this.
Whatever this was.
“I think we’ve already been spotted and it’s too late for that,” she muttered.
I followed her gaze to the window where her mother’s head poked through the sheer blinds. As if we didn’t spot her, she ducked back from sight.
Grace’s face flushed crimson.
“She may have seen that we’re here, but that doesn’t mean we can’t take a quick walk. A shag behind a neighbor’s shed, then be on our way,” I said, leaning in and keeping my voice low.
An old man with very large jowls opened the door and Grace gasped, jumping back. “Charles,” she said, scooting away from me and into the house as if she was on fire.
“Oh, and this is my friend, Jack Murphy. I don’t know if you remember him or not,” she said, introducing me to the older gentleman.
Charles expression didn’t change from his mopey facade, but he nodded. “How do you do, Mr. Murphy?”
“Very well, thank you.”
“Madam Evans and Madam Walsh are in the tearoom, this way,” he said, ushering us through the foyer and down the gallery hallway filled with oil paintings on the white walls.
The tearoom was one of four sitting rooms we passed. I don’t know how Grace’s mum got there so fast when we had just seen her, but she was perched in her chair. Next to her was Seamus’s wife and Grace’s grandmam. The old woman reminded me of a cartoon with her brightly colored dresses and feathered hats. She was a stark contrast against the dark wood floors and white walls of the room.
“Gracie, darling, it’s been too long.” Elizabeth, Grace’s mam, stood up and circled the round table filled with treats, ignoring the maid who was pouring her tea.
Grace gingerly took her mother in an embrace. They kissed each other’s cheeks before Elizabeth’s dark eyes trailed to me.
I’d first noticed her at the vet’s office, but was paying more attention to the dog and not the woman in the uncomfortable looking chair. She was an attractive older woman with her hair in some fancy updo and a flawless face that could have been that of an old British movie star. But if I didn’t know any better, I’d say the woman was eyeing me suspiciously like she knew something I didn’t.
Had Grace talked to her Mam about me? Seamus knew about the inheritance clause and so did Grace, so in theory, her mother could know. And if she did, did she know there was something going on with the two of us and want something more? Or want me to stay the hell away?
Each new thought made my chest beat with anxiety and I tried not to mull it over. To just live in the moment, in the here and now, and what I had with Grace.
Whatever it was that made all of me feel this alive, at least.
“And Jack, it’s been too long. You’ve been working my daughter so hard. You both could use a break,” she said, extending her hand to me. I took her palm gingerly and kissed each of her cheeks before she went back to her seat.
“Grandmum, I believe you remember Jack,” Grace said, leaning down and kissing her grandmam’s cheek.
“The sexy Irish hunk with a butt like a sailor? Of course, I could never forget him. But
it’s been a while since I saw him leaving your flat like an escaped convict who just got caught. Come here, boy, lemme get a better look at you,” Grace’s grandmam commanded, flapping her glove-covered hands.
“Mother,” Elizabeth scolded, her face flushing a deep red.
“It’s all right,” I said, flashing a smile and approaching the old woman, extending my hand.
Grandmum shook her head. “Oh, please, boy, we hug in this family.”
She held her arms out and I slowly leaned over, putting my arms gently around the tiny woman. She pulled me close, her lips to my ear. “Don’t break her heart, ya hear me? She’s really taken a shine to you.”
“Don’t worry,” I whispered, kissing her cheek before I pulled away.
“What was that about?” Grace asked, taking one of the white dining chairs around the table. I sat down next to her.
“It’s between me and your grandmum,” I said, shooting the old woman a wink.
Two maids circled the table, filling Grace’s and my cups with tea and placed plates full of mini sandwiches and fruit in front of us.
“Thank you,” I said to the woman pouring my tea. She nodded, not saying a word.
“Eleanor, Elizabeth, you don’t expect this lad and me to sit here and discuss matters over tea, do you?” A familiar voice said from behind me.
I didn’t need to look to know it was Seamus, who approached the table, leaning on his cane and adjusting his gray toupee.
“A man doesn’t need to sit and have tea with the women. Join me for cigars and whiskey in my office,” Seamus bellowed, giving me a half-cocked smile. It either said he wanted to enjoy my company or murder me for shagging his granddaughter.
“You don’t have to,” Grace said, staring at me wide-eyed.
What the hell was that about? Did she need the buffer with her mam that bad?
There was no way in hell the patriarch of the family was going to let me get away with anything but sitting down with him. And, truth be told, I was more comfortable with the old man than the stares from the women.
“Don’t worry, mo gra, I won’t be long.”