“Hey, what’s going on with you?” Jack caressed her cheek with his thumb. “Em?”
Emily closed her eyes and tried to calm down. It’d be easy to unload her anger on to Jack, but that wouldn’t fix anything. Tears pricked, so she kept her eyes closed. Those didn’t belong to Jack, but she didn’t want to explain what she was feeling. She needed to work through her feelings regarding Sully without Jack’s input.
“Talk to me.”
“Why do you have to know everything?” Her voice cracked. “Can’t you just allow me the time I need to—”
“You’re pushing me away. Em, we’ve got three days before I leave. We have to be open with each other.”
This was crazy. How could I have thought this would work? “I have been open with you, more so than any other relationship I’ve had, but it’s never enough. You said you’d give me time and space, but you never do. Can’t you trust that things will work out without you having to fix them? What happened to make you so…needy?”
Jack looked as if she’d slapped him. Maybe she had. She hadn’t wanted her anger at Sully to spill on to Jack, but it just did. It needed to be said, but she shouldn’t have said it like that. Some of her anger drained away.
Jack slumped back against the pillows. “You’re right, I do keep saying it, and I don’t know why I keep pushing.” He ran his hand over his face. “I could tell you it’s because we’re not going to have much time together, which is true, but it’s not just that.”
Emily scooted closer. “What then?”
“I don’t know, fear.”
“Of what?”
Jack shook his head and shrugged. When he reached out for her, she snuggled into his side. “I’ll work on giving you space if you’ll work on not hiding in the bathroom.”
“I’m not.” Maybe she was. Sully had said that to her during a fight but never brought it up again. “Okay.” Her stomach turned. It wouldn’t be easy, but she’d promised, and she’d damn well do it. “Anything else?”
“That’s enough for now, don’t you think?”
“Definitely.” How can we already have so many issues?
Jack turned off the light and settled back down. She lay on her back because her leg throbbed but took his hand because she didn’t want him to think she was mad at him.
On Monday, Emily woke before dawn. Jack was next to her, and she was still on her back. She moved around in her sleep, so it was unusual for her to wake up in the same position. She was horny, so she snuggled into Jack’s side, caressing his chest while kissing a path up his neck to his lips. Jack moaned. She whispered in his ear, “I want you.”
“Mmm, go for it baby.”
Grabbing a condom from the nightstand, Emily made quick work of protecting them. She straddled him, and they both moaned as she sank onto his cock. So good.
Still sleepy, she rode him, enjoying the sweet friction. Emily loved sleepy early-morning sex. She reached behind her and cupped his balls, gently rolling them in her hand.
“Em…so good.”
She knew he loved it when she paid attention to his balls. Emily leaned forward to kiss him, his mouth opening, inviting her in. Jack palmed her breasts and tweaked her nipples, which sent her over the edge. She moaned as she came, and Jack followed with a low grunt. She lay atop him, but she mustn’t fall asleep yet because she had to take care of him first. Sleep tugged, so she forced herself to sit up and climb off, which had Jack lazily grabbing for her.
“Stay.”
“Just let me take care of this.” She slipped the condom off, tied it, and used a tissue to clean him up. Emily wrapped the condom in tissues and chucked it in the trash can. She snuggled next to Jack who was already asleep. Emily closed her eyes and drifted off.
The next time Emily woke, bright sunlight flooded the room, and Jack stared at her with a goofy grin. “What?”
“You made love to me this morning.”
“Yeah.” She tried to roll to her side, but he stopped her. Emily had to pee, and she needed coffee. “Was that okay?
Jack rolled his eyes at her. “Yeah. It was amazing.”
“Sleepy early-morning sex usually is. Low effort, orgasm, sleep.” Her smile faded. “I need to use the bathroom.”
Jack held firm. “What just happened? One second you were smiling, and the next you shut me out.”
“I have to pee.” She didn’t want to talk about Sully.
He released her. “Okay, pee then talk.”
“Can’t you let it go?” He’s never going to let anything go. She walked to the bathroom and closed the door. I’m entitled to some privacy.
When she opened the door, Jack sat on the bottom of the bed. He’d pulled on a pair of sweatpants. When he looked up, she knew he hadn’t let it go. Shit. She slipped into the complimentary bathrobe. “Jack, I’m still working things out from my breakup. Normally, I wouldn’t have an audience for that, and I don’t want to talk about every little thing.”
He seemed to consider that for a moment. “Okay, but that didn’t seem like a little thing. Your whole body tensed, and you looked hurt.”
She hadn’t realized she’d tensed. “It wasn’t about you or us.”
“It was about him, wasn’t it? The fucker didn’t like sleepy morning sex?”
Emily nodded but wouldn’t discuss her previous sex life.
Jack stood. “Why?”
Never a break. She’d understood how Sully had felt, and she didn’t feel right exposing him to other people that way, especially Jack. It was hard enough dealing with the never-ending resentment that popped up every time she remembered all the concessions she’d made. Why hadn’t she seen all the cracks that were now so very obvious?
Emily glared up at him. He was so close she had to tilt her head back to meet his eyes. “It’s none of your business.” She hated feeling like she had to protect that bastard.
Jack sat and pulled her between his knees. “I think it is my business.” Emily tried to pull away. “Hear me out. Four days ago, even from the stage, I could see something awful had happened to you. Even when you smiled, you looked sad. The fucker destroyed your self-esteem. I don’t want to make the same mistakes.”
“You couldn’t.” Jack loved sleepy early-morning sex on a Monday. But he didn’t have to get up at five. “I hate this.” She pulled from his embrace and paced. “It’s really hard to move forward with you when my past keeps interrupting.”
“I know, baby.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her back into his arms. “I respect that you don’t want to reveal personal details even though he doesn’t deserve your discretion. It makes me love you more.”
She was glad he hadn’t used the word loyalty because she felt none toward Sully. It simply wasn’t the right thing to do. “How am I supposed to get over this if we keep talking about it?”
“The only reason I want to talk about it is because you got upset, and I don’t like that. Can you understand?”
She nodded and walked over to the window. They’d both need to make changes. Jack had to ease off, and she had to let him in. She’d pushed forward after the accident by compartmentalizing her life because it was the only way she’d known how, but now, Jack was threatening that. And if she couldn’t let him in, she’d lose him. Just like she’d lost Sully.
Jack jumped up. “I got…something I gotta do.” He quickly dressed and left.
chapter
FIVE
Emily looked shocked when he’d taken off so abruptly, but Jack needed to get out before he said something stupid. The clawing need he felt was only getting worse, and Em needed time and patience. He had to get his emotions under control, or he’d lose her, but it was near impossible when she was so close. The engagement ring he’d bought was in the room safe, and he constantly looked to their future: a home together, marriage, kids. Jack wanted it all.
He’d need to give her an explanation, but he didn’t know what to say.
Jack went to
the gym to work off his bad mood. Em had insisted he continue his routine with Buzz because she didn’t want to come between them. By the time Buzz joined him, Jack felt better.
“Jack!” Buzz stopped walking on the treadmill next to his.
Jack’s attention snapped back to him. “What?”
Buzz tried to hide his smile. “Looks like you had a nice day.”
Jack wiped his brow with his shirt. “Sorry.” His own smile spread wide. He jumped off and walked over to the bench and grabbed a towel.
“Don’t apologize for being happy.” Buzz rubbed his head with a towel, leaving his thick brown hair sticking up. He slid his hands into his gloves and adjusted the Velcro straps. “So, how’d yesterday go?”
Jack groaned. “We had a good time, but my mom was acting weird.”
“How so?”
“She grilled Em about our relationship, and she was kinda cold toward her.”
“That doesn’t sound like your mom.”
“Right?” His dad had been weird over the phone, too.
Buzz worked the bag while Jack held. His mind wandered back to Em. What guy turned down sex ever? Em was beautiful, sexy, and creative, not to mention she wanted sex as often as he did. Most guys complained that their girls or wives didn’t give it up enough. Jack wondered how long he’d be able to keep up with her.
Jack couldn’t stop thinking about what Em had said about him being needy because she was right. That was how he was behaving at least. He’d never fallen so totally headfirst in love in a matter of hours like he’d done with Em, but he hadn’t been totally honest with her. Some of his fear was related to how fast he’d fallen for her because the intensity of his feelings had his head spinning. Jack also knew that the fucker would be back, and even though Em insisted she wouldn’t take him back, their relationship was so crazy it just might be enough for her to consider giving the fucker a second chance. He’d loved to have stopped there, but Jack always tried to be honest with himself. Something else had him coming off the rails, but he didn’t know what. What he did know was that if he didn’t stop pushing her, he’d be the reason their relationship derailed.
When Buzz kicked the bag, Jack wasn’t ready, and he lost his balance and landed hard on the mat. Buzz stepped around the bag and hauled Jack to his feet. With a goofy smile and his brown eyes shining, he said, “Where’s your head today?”
“Up his ass,” Elliot said as he strode past them, stopping at the free weights. His black hair and T-shirt were soaked in sweat from his run. He also wore a smile wider than Jack had seen in a long time.
Jack and Buzz grinned at each other. Elliot had called Siobhan, and it’d obviously gone well. He was so wrapped up in his own life he’d forgotten. “How’s Siobhan?” Jack slipped his hands into his gloves.
Elliot faced him. His dark eyes were lit from within, and he smiled. “We talked Friday and half the night Saturday. Then I went by the house yesterday, and we had dinner and talked some more.”
He’d seen that look in Elliot’s eyes several times and always because of Siobhan. The first time had been when Jack told Elliot that he and Siobhan had broken up. Jack had known how his friend had felt about her. Elliot had been having a tough time after his folks split up, and he’d been moodier than usual, but whenever Siobhan was around, Elliot smiled. A lot. Jack and Siobhan knew they were better off as friends, so he encouraged her to ask Elliot out.
The second time had been when Elliot told Jack she’d agreed to marry him. And again, when he, Buzz, and Curt stood as best men at their wedding. And when he’d told Jack that, after two years of trying, Siobhan was finally pregnant.
It was Jack’s turn on the bag. He forced himself to focus so he wouldn’t break his hand.
Thirty minutes later, he entered his hotel room to see lunch waiting for him, and Em was on the couch typing away on her laptop. She stopped typing and cocked her head to the side.
“I’m sorry about before. I just didn’t want to say anything stupid.”
She quirked a brow, and her lips curled into a small smirk. “Okay.”
“Do I have time for a quick shower?”
“Yeah. Food just got here.”
Jack stripped, showered, and was back in ten minutes. When lunch was over, it was time for that talk about touring. He’d run into Viv in the hallway, and she’d given him a printout with their schedule.
Em pulled out a pen and a calendar from her bag, and they sat on the couch and planned when they’d be able to see each other. Jack would fly to her whenever he had a break of two days. The first one wouldn’t be for almost three weeks after their last day together. The next two times, he’d only have to wait a week to see her. He had a week off over Father’s Day weekend, but he’d promised to spend a few days home, since he’d only be able to spend Sunday home for Mother’s Day. After that week, it’d be over a month before he’d see her again, so they stopped planning there because Jack didn’t want to think about what a month without her would be like, and he didn’t want her to feel bad because she wouldn’t be able to fly to see him.
He would’ve loved to have nailed her down to spend that week with him, but it was too soon. Em already looked shocked at the reality they faced. She sat back and rubbed her temples. His head ached but not nearly as badly as his heart did at how little time they’d have.
But right now, they had three days left. They had a gig tonight and an acoustic gig at the local rock station tomorrow in the afternoon. Since they had Tuesday night off, maybe they could all go to dinner. Having dinner with friends was normal.
Em picked up her laptop.
Shit. He’d promised her she’d have time to write. If she was on a roll, he wouldn’t interfere with that. He glanced at the calendar where she’d marked down his schedule. Emily had made little hearts on the days they’d see each other. Jack liked that.
“You’ll be in Albany on Saturday. It’s only four hours by bus. What time will you be arriving?”
Heat expanded throughout his body. “You’d be willing to do that?”
“Jack, you’re going to be flying around on tour, and then when you have two days off, you’re going to fly more just to see me. It’s the least I can do.” She smiled but then looked down.
Jack took her laptop and placed it on the coffee table, and then he hauled her onto his lap and kissed her. Relief flooded his mind. He hadn’t wanted to give the negative thoughts a foothold, so he’d pushed them aside, but now he let them go. She wanted to see him. She wouldn’t end it on Thursday when he left for Hartford. Before they’d sat down, he didn’t know where they were scheduled next. He always focused on where he was because every one of their audiences deserved their full effort and attention. It was hard to do that when you were preoccupied with what came next. “I love you.”
Em crawled off his lap.
“What’s wrong?” But Jack knew. Em didn’t want him to tell her how he felt. How could he not? When they were together, it felt like his heart would burst through his chest. If that’s what she needed—
She touched his arm. “I’m not comfortable with your public displays of affection. Yesterday, at your parents’ when you kissed me in front of your family, I didn’t like that, and neither did your mother.”
Blood rushed through his veins, and his body tensed.
“When we’re alone, you can be as affectionate as you want, but around other people, could you tone it down?”
Relief flooded Jack’s body. They had a lot to learn about each other, and time and his career worked against them. He leaned over and kissed her lips. “I can do that.” It wouldn’t be easy. Her smile had him pulling back. “What?”
“How far off the cliff did you get?”
Jack looked down. “Almost didn’t make it back.”
She kissed him, her tongue dipping as her hands explored. “It’s okay, baby,” she said between kisses.
He cupped her breasts and deepened the kiss. The room phone ra
ng. Without breaking the kiss, he fumbled for the phone. “Hello?”
“Mr. McBride, this is Aaron from the front desk. Barbara Callow is here to see you.”
“Who?”
“She’s from Wickham Realty”
Shit. The real estate agency he’d called. Jack groaned. “Send her up.” Jack’s head dropped back. Em was on his lap, he had a raging hard-on, and she looked thoroughly kissed. Damn. “The real estate agent is on her way up.”
Em climbed off his lap, tugged her shirt down, smoothed her hair, and wiped her lips with the back of her hand. “We’ll continue this later.” Her sassy grin inflamed him further.
She drove him mad. He stood and adjusted himself. Looking at her didn’t help, so he closed his eyes so his dick would calm down. Her evil chuckle told him Em knew what he was doing. She’d pay for that. Later. “If you’d rather not come, I understand.”
“I thought we agreed to put off coming until later?”
Jack’s dick hardened. “You’re evil.” Even her smirk aroused him.
He walked to the window. “I know it’s too soon for you.” He tried to keep his voice level. Too soon be damned; he wanted her to go, damn it.
Her arms circled around him, and she rested her cheek against his back. “I got a lot done this morning. I’d be happy to go with you.” He felt her smile.
Jack turned, but before he could kiss her, a knock sounded on the door. Dropping a kiss on her head, he answered the door, surprised to see Nicki and Curt, kissing.
Curt broke away from Nicki’s lips. “What took you so long?”
Nicki chuckled. “They were busy getting busy.”
Em stood next to him. “Curt, nice to see you.” She hugged Nicki. “You look happy.”
“I am. Wonderfully, ecstatically, rapturously, ardently happy.”
“Nic, what’s the first rule of writing?”
“Lose the adverbs, pick a stronger verb.” She sighed. “That doesn’t apply to real life. Nobody talks like that.”
No More Yesterdays: A Rock Star Romance (Rocked in Love Book 2) Page 4