“Jack…”
“Yeah?”
“I just…I wanted to tell you that…”
It wasn’t like her to be at a loss for words. He turned her to face him. She looked troubled. He’d fix whatever it was. “Hey, it’s okay. You can tell me anything.”
Em’s eyes sparkled with emotion, and she pressed her lips to his. His heart leaped in his chest.
Her fingers traced the outline of the heart necklace. “I’m honored to have your love.” Her voice was raspy, and she swallowed hard. “Thank you for this.” She waved her hand around. “It’s been so long since I’ve felt like I belonged.”
He pulled her to him. They might have only known each other eight weeks, but he knew when she was overwhelmed. His family was loud and boisterous, and he always had a great time when they all got together, but Emily hadn’t had that in ten years. He’d planned to stay with her, but she’d told him to go and have fun, so he had because he’d known she’d meant it.
His mom had warmed toward Em after what Jimmy was calling “The Greatest Smackdown Ever.” Christie had always thought it was cute that Paulette had a crush on him. At first, he hadn’t thought much of it, but as Paulette got more vulgar over the years, it sickened him. John was a good guy, but he’d always been shy. He’d told Jack that when Paulette had agreed to go out with him that he was lucky. Paulette enjoyed John’s undivided devotion and fostered his insecurities. She knew better than to belittle John in front of his family, but Jack had no doubt she did it when they were alone.
One day, his cousin would realize he was the one who could do better and divorce that bitch. John loved his kids and doted on them, and they’d always be his. But Paulette was living on borrowed time; she just didn’t know it. She was too busy overestimating her beauty.
“I’m glad you had a good time.” He kissed the top of her head. She fit so well in his arms, no matter the position. They were perfect together, and she was finally seeing it. “Do you think I’ll be honored with your love soon?” Fuck. As soon as the words left his mouth, he’d known it was the wrong thing to say. He hadn’t meant it how it sounded. Emily tensed in his arms; he’d ruined the moment. “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t know why I said that.” Too much alcohol loosened his resolve to give her all the time she needed and to stop pressuring her.
She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the chair. “You said it because you feel it.” She put her hand over his heart. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize for not being here yet.” He covered her hand with his.
Jack sat up and swung his leg around so she was nestled between his.
She leaned back on him and took a deep breath. “When you came after me, saying that you knew the timing sucked but the opportunity was now and we had to grab it, I was terrified because I knew you were right. It was our one chance to see if we belonged together.”
“What you’re saying is you miss me when I’m gone, and when we’re together, it’s amazing but too short, and you can’t imagine your life without me.”
Emily turned and smiled at him. “No wonder you’re an amazing songwriter. You boiled things down so succinctly. I suck at that.”
He tried not to think about her sucking anything. “You’re an amazing copywriter, so that can’t be.”
Emily chuckled. “You’d think, right? I tried to write a song.”
“Really? How is it?”
“So far, it’s 25,624 words.”
The noise level elevated as Liam, Ethan, and Thom, three of his cousins, strode toward them. “Jack William McBride,” Liam said in an exaggerated brogue. “A bunch of us are going to Brick Tavern. Come with us.”
“Did we run out of alcohol?”
“Not yet, but we’re still here. Pool.”
Oh shit, a pool competition with his cousins could last hours. And sounded great.
“Go,” Emily said. “Have fun with your cousins.”
“But—”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll help clean up then I’m going to bed. I’m beat.”
“We like her, Jack.”
To emphasize this, Ethan yanked Emily off the chair and whirled her around the patio before bringing her to a stop where Jack stood.
Jack put his arm around her. He knew his cousin was just having fun, but every nerve ending in his body went possessive.
“Let’s go, Jack. The little lady gave you her blessing.”
He turned to her. “I’ll be back late.” Jack kissed her deeply.
His cousin Betsy offered to drive since she had the late shift at the hospital. She hadn’t been drinking, and her truck was big enough to hold them all. Jack assured his dad he’d get everyone cabs home.
He grabbed Jimmy on the way to the truck. “Come on, Squeak, join us.”
“Jack…” Will said from behind him.
“Don’t worry, Dad, I’ll look out for him.”
Will nodded. “Be safe.”
Jack yelled over his shoulder, “Don’t wait up.”
They were off for yet another epic competition.
Before he and Jimmy left the bar, Jack ensured all his cousins were in cabs. He’d pay for it tomorrow, but he had a fucking blast with his cousins and, more surprisingly, with Jimmy.
Jimmy had eased off busting his balls, and he suspected that Em had something to do with it. No crass jokes about him being the prodigal son or the prince. They’d had a nice conversation last night even though it had been quick.
It was after one when they walked in the kitchen door. Their dad sat at the table. “Everything okay?” Jack asked, stumbling slightly through the doorway.
Will looked up from the crossword puzzle. “Yup, just waiting for you boys to get home.”
“Dad, I told you not to wait up.” Jack slurred only slightly this time. He grabbed a glass of water and sat.
“You’re still my kids.” He folded the paper and placed it on the recycling pile. “You look like you had fun.”
Jimmy snickered; he was a sloppy drunk. Then he looked as if he’d just solved a great mystery. “Fun is fun.” He put so much emphasis on the word is that he sounded like Ren from the cartoon.
Jack had never heard anything funnier or truer. Truwer. Truwwer. Funny how a word sounded stupid if it was said slowly enough. What a great night!
“I’m glad you guys had a good time, but keep it down. I’m going up. Remember, church at noon. I expect you both to be sobered up by then.” As Will turned to leave, a loud scream shattered the silence. “What the hell?”
Emily. Jack darted out of the chair so fast it fell over. “Coming through.” Will stepped out of the way as Jack took the stairs two at a time. By the time he’d gotten to the top, another scream echoed through the hallway. His mom and Trish were standing half-asleep in their bedroom doorways.
Jack opened the door and flipped on the light. Emily sat upright in bed, tears streaming down her cheeks, hair a tangled mess. The blanket was on the floor, and the sheets were pulled from between the mattress and box spring. She was shaking her head, but Jack wasn’t sure she was awake. He ran to the bed, sat, and pulled her into his arms. “It’s okay, baby, it was just a bad dream.” Jack smoothed her hair down and rocked her gently. She slumped against him, all the tension draining out of her body.
In the doorway to his room stood his folks, Trish, Jimmy, and Brad.
“Is she okay?” his mom asked.
As if just realizing her surroundings, Emily sat up and looked around the room, and when she saw his family in the doorway, she covered her face with her hands. “Oh God, I’m so sorry.”
Jack adjusted on the bed so he sat between her and his family. “Hey, it’s okay.”
“No, it isn’t. I woke up the entire house.”
Jack felt his mother’s hand on his shoulder. “It’s fine, Emily. Don’t worry yourself.” Em looked up at his mother, her eyes filled with tears and her face red. She leaned forward and buried her face in h
is chest.
He looked up at his mom. “She’ll be okay.” He made a gesture with his head, hoping his family would understand.
They did. His mom backed away, and his dad ushered everyone out of the doorway, closing the door behind them.
She still wore the necklace he’d given her that morning. He hoped she never took it off.
Em made no move to get away from him. Two months ago, she’d have vaulted past all of them to get into the bathroom and shut him out. Instead, she let him comfort her. If she didn’t want to share her dream, he’d deal. At least she hadn’t run. When she calmed down, he grabbed some tissues. “Here.”
She dabbed her eyes. “Thanks.” Lying back against the pillows, she covered her eyes with her arm. “Your mom hates me.”
“No, she doesn’t.” He was sure of it.
“I’m a mess. If it’s not one thing backing up on me, it’s another.”
Jack kicked off his sneakers and stretched out next to her. He wanted to make love to her and show her none of that mattered to him. The door was ajar, and he was pretty sure his parents were waiting up. “Was it the accident again?”
Emily nodded. “They lied to me.”
“Who?”
“The doctors.”
“About what?” A heavy feeling settled in the pit of his stomach.
“They didn’t die instantly. They suffered.”
“You don’t know that.” Jack knew she did.
“When I saw Eddie a few weeks ago, I told him about my nightmares and how each one was worse than last. He thought they might be memories finally making their way to the surface. I didn’t want it to be true. I didn’t want to remember.”
All of his abilities as a songwriter failed him. “Fuck.”
“Yeah.” She rolled on her side and faced him. Her eyes held a hollow look, like she wasn’t in there. “I remember it all. The piercing squeal of the brakes, how the truck fishtailed, and my dad yelling ‘Hold on.’ He tried to avoid her, but she must’ve woken up at the last second and swerved into us instead of away. The truck rolled over, and I remember the sensation of free falling. Riley’s seatbelt snapped, and he crashed up against me. My mom was crying, and my dad screamed ‘Riley, Emily, you okay?’ My mom begged God to let us be okay.”
Fresh tears welled in her eyes, and she swiped at them. She swallowed hard a few times, and her breathing was coming in short pants. “Then my mom stopped crying. She said ‘Ry, I love you. I love you all.’ My dad tried to release the seatbelt, but he screamed in pain. Then he said ‘Everything will be okay, Em.’ Then silence. I must’ve passed out, and when I came to, Riley was crumpled on top of me, and there were people outside the truck trying to open the doors.”
She rolled onto her other side and drew her knees up to her chest. Jack spooned her, holding her tightly. After a few minutes, her breathing steadied, so he carefully got out of bed. He tiptoed to the door and stepped into the hallway. His folks’ door was open, and his dad gestured to him.
His mom was on the bed, and when his dad joined her, she leaned up against him. “How is she?” Will asked.
Jack stood in the doorway. “Asleep, for now.” He looked down at the floor but refused to pussy out about this. He needed to be with her. “The nightmares started up again after that fu—her ex cheated on her. They’ve been getting progressively worse, this one was…” He swallowed hard. “She doesn’t have them when we’re together.”
“She didn’t have one last night,” his mom said.
Will raised a brow but said nothing.
“She doesn’t have them every night. She had a great time today and was happy to be included in our family. The chili we made was her dad’s recipe. It’s the first time she made it without him.” Jack knew he was rambling. He walked in and stretched out on the floor. He was emotionally exhausted. He just wanted to be with his girl.
“Why did you ask if you could share a room this time? You never have before,” his mom asked.
Jack wiped his hands over his face. “Em wanted me to. She said her folks wouldn’t have allowed it. She wants you to like her.” His head throbbed. “I should’ve asked in the past. I was wrong to assume you’d be okay with it. I’m sorry.”
The bed creaked, and his mom knelt next to him. “Yes, you should’ve, and we should’ve told you how we felt about it.”
“Why didn’t you?” Jack sat up to face her.
“I guess we were afraid you wouldn’t visit as often if we said no.”
Jack chuckled. “That’s what Em thought.” He stood and helped her up. “It wouldn’t have stopped me from coming home. I love you both. I couldn’t have done any of this without your unstinting love and support.” He hugged her. His dad joined them, wrapping them both in his arms.
His mom kissed Jack’s cheek. “Go to her. Just remember your baby sister and brother are across the hallway from you.”
chapter
THIRTY-TWO
The room was dark when Emily woke. She was on her side facing Jack, and his arms held her firmly to his chest. Damn. They must’ve fallen asleep after her nightmare.
“Jack,” she whispered, shaking him gently. “You gotta leave.”
He moaned in his sleep and rolled onto his back, tucking her into his side. The steady rise and fall of his chest continued.
Damn it. She lifted her head but couldn’t sit up. “Jack.” She put her hand on his chest and rubbed. That always woke him up.
“Mmm. Lower.” Moonlight provided enough light that she could see his smile.
“You can’t stay here. I think your dad knows you slept here last night.” He hadn’t said anything to her, but she knew he knew. “Jack.”
His hand covered hers, and he guided it down his stomach. He was naked. He’d been dressed when she’d fallen asleep. “Jack. You have to get dressed and leave.” She tried to move away, but even in this sleepy state, he didn’t let her go.
“I have permission.”
“Permission for what? From whom?” If this conversation went on much longer, she wouldn’t be able to fall back to sleep.
“My mom and dad.”
His hand covered hers, which rested on his erection, but she didn’t curl her fingers around him. He was horny and didn’t know what he was saying. “Bullshit.”
“Not bullshit. Permission. If you’re not going to touch me properly, I guess I’ll just have to do it myself.” He moved her hand away.
“Jack, come on, you’re just horny and sleepy. No way they gave you permission.”
“They did. They felt awful after your nightmare. I told them you don’t have them when we’re together.”
From the shifting of his arm, Jack wasn’t holding back. She put her hand over his forearm to stop him.
“Be my guest.” He released his grasp. “Oh, and I apologized for not asking permission in the past.”
“You did?”
Jack moaned and sat up on his elbows. “Yes. It was wrong. I have younger siblings, and I should’ve known better. Can we please have some form of sex now? I’m more than ready.” He tilted her head and kissed her. “We just have to keep it down.”
She ducked under the covers and crawled between his legs. She stroked his thighs, letting the tops of her hands gently nudge his balls. She leaned down and took him in her mouth.
“Oh fuck, yeah.”
He was rock hard, and his salty skin tingled on her tongue. Jack threw the covers off, and the sudden change in temperature had goose bumps forming on her skin. His head lolled from side to side on the pillow. She cupped his balls in her left hand, grasping the base of his cock in her right and stroking him with her tongue.
“Gonna come.” His hips lifted off the bed as he exploded in her mouth. A low primal grunt rumbled through his chest.
Emily crawled up, pulling the covers over them as she settled next to him. She tangled his chest hair in her fingers, caressing his pecs. His hand covered hers.
The next time she woke, soft daylight crept into the room, and Jack was between her thighs, his mouth gently teasing her. His hands stroked down her legs, and Emily couldn’t stop herself from tensing. His mouth moved to her right leg, placing open-mouthed kisses down her thigh, over her scars. Bile rose in her throat. “Please stop.” He sat up. She moved her leg around him and rolled onto her side. He stretched out behind her, cradling her against him.
She didn’t ask him why because she knew. He wanted to be able to touch all of her when they made love. Every inch.
“Explain it to me,” he whispered.
She shook her head. She couldn’t. Wouldn’t. How was she supposed to tell the man who was in love with her that his touch made her physically sick? The layers of her damage just kept revealing themselves, like peeling an onion.
“I love you.”
“I know.” It wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but she needed to be damn sure before she said it back. But she wasn’t there yet. He deserved nothing less than her total heart. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry. I should’ve stopped when you tensed, but I was a dick and pushed it. Won’t happen again.”
What held her back, she didn’t know. But she did know it had nothing to do with trust. She inched closer to him. In his arms, she felt cherished and protected.
J
Emily’s eyes drifted open as she inhaled the warm, rich scent of coffee.
Jack held the cup under her nose. “Wake up, sleepyhead, breakfast’s ready.”
She sat up and looked at the clock. She’d meant to get up earlier. “I was going to make breakfast.” A languid stretch helped ease her muscles into waking.
“No need. My dad was up and out first thing. The party company picked up all the rentals, and he got bagels.” He took a sip of her coffee.
“Hey, I thought that was for me.” She thrust out her bottom lip.
“You’ll have to do better than that if you want this coffee.” He took another sip. He was still in his pajamas, his hair tousled, sporting beard shadow and looking totally adorable.
No More Yesterdays: A Rock Star Romance (Rocked in Love Book 2) Page 34