by Jae
“Please tell me, Daisy.” He begs.
I give him a small nod of confirmation, words still failing me.
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s alright.” I smile weakly, somehow finding my voice. But we both know it isn’t alright and that I’m still withholding some more information.
“What happened?” He whispers, his voice almost sounding afraid of my answer.
I’m a little reluctant to reveal the truth about how Liam inflicted the bruises on my hips. Just showing him was hard enough already. I brush my thumbs across his knuckles, remembering the ugly cuts that used to be on his right ones. I take a deep breath, trying to find the strength to tell Liam what I know is going to absolutely tear him up inside.
“Yesterday morning, when we...” I trail off and squeeze my eyes shut again. “It was like you turned into a completely different person, Liam. Your eyes got so dark, they were practically black. Kind of like when you get really angry.”
My heart feels like it’s racing a thousand miles per minute when Liam pulls one of his hands from mine and places it on my cheek, encouraging me to open my eyes and keep telling him what happened.
“You were holding me down.” I whisper. “And you kept squeezing at my hips.”
“Daisy,” Liam sighs as he pulls both of his hands free from me. “I’m so sorry.”
I wrap my arms around his torso, pulling his large frame as closely as possible to me. I don’t want him to be afraid to touch me and for him to think I’m afraid of him touching me. I know he didn’t do this to me on purpose and I wish I would’ve been able to think of a better way to go about this so he wouldn’t think for a single second that I ever thought otherwise.
“I’m so sorry, Daisy.” He repeats. “I don’t think I can ever describe to you how sorry I am. I can’t remember doing that. But either way, it should’ve never happened. I should’ve never done that to you, Daisy.”
Somehow I knew Liam wouldn’t remember hurting me. I knew before he even said it, and a part of me is scared of him because of that. What else could he be capable of when he falls into such a dark state of mind? I still don’t want him to think I’m afraid of him though.
“Was I rough?” He mumbles into my hair and curses when I don’t reply. “Daisy, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Suddenly a thought accrues to me and tumbles out of my mouth before I have a chance to fully process it. “Have you done this to other girls?”
Liam’s body goes completely still before he answers me. “Some girls have commented on it before, but I always brushed it off. Some even liked it and encouraged me to – whatever you want to call it.” He sighs as he pulls away from me. “I don’t really know that side of me, Daisy, and I try my best to stay away from it. But I won’t deny that most of the time, I can’t recall what happens during sex. But yesterday morning, with you, was so amazing. I thought I remembered. I thought I was gentle with you.”
My heart brakes as I watch the sad look on Liam’s face deepen. Even though I know I should be terrified, I’m not.
“Hey,” I whisper, placing my hands on his chest. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. But I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Liam repeats, his head dropping a little. “I never should’ve done that to you, Daisy.”
“It is okay. I know you would never intentionally hurt me.” I try to reassure him. “I promise it’s okay.”
Liam slightly nods his head before pulling me into a tight hug and I hug him back just as much force, wishing that I could take away every bit of pain and remorse he’s feeling right now.
Chapter Thirteen
My Dad wakes me up at 5:30 the next morning and tells me we’re going for a run. Before I hurt my knee, we used to wake up bright and early every morning to get in a run before I had to go to school and he had to go to work. Back then, it was a lot easier for me to wake up this early because it was like a routine for me. At first, it was hard for my body to adjust to not having to wake up so early every morning. Sometimes I would just lie in my bed and stare at my ceiling until my alarm clock went off hours later. As more time passed though, my body adjusted and I could sleep in till well past noon if my alarm clock never went off. My Mom says it’s because my body is trying to catch up on all the sleep it missed out on before.
A tired yawn escapes my lips as I stretch my arms over my head. I stare at myself in the mirror while I pull my hair up into a messy ponytail. I’m wearing a bright green and black striped sports bra, black workout leggings that I make sure comes up high enough to hide my bruises, and a pair of black and hot pink running shoes. I grab my iPod off of my dresser before going downstairs. I walk into the garage where I find my Dad stretching and click the button for the garage door to open before joining him. After we finish, me yawning too many times to count, I’m surprised to see Liam’s Range Rover pulling up the driveway. Like my Dad, Liam is shirtless and wearing basketball shorts with a pair of Nike running shoes. I grin when I see Liam let out a small yawn and scratch just above his belly button while I strap my iPod to my arm. How is it possible for someone to be so adorable and sexy at the same time?
I let out another yawn while we walk down my driveway and then put in my headphones. I press play on my iPod, rolling my neck as music starts blasting in my ears, when we begin to jog down the street. Even though I’m ridiculously tired, I’m happy to be running like this again. I know I run a lot when I practice with Liam and his team and on the indoor track, but running in a gym feels completely different compared to running outside. Outside, everything is so open and the fresh air on your face feels amazing. It’s so much easier to ignore the aching feeling building in your legs after a while and to just let your mid drift off. You can take in the scenery, stare at the fluffy clouds in the sky, and daydream. Most people would think I’m crazy, but I don’t care. I love running like this.
We take a little break to get a drink at the playground connected to the middle school a couple miles away from my house. The cold water from the fountain feels amazing when it slips past my lips and down my throat. I try my best not to drink too much, knowing I will definitely get a side ache during the run back home. I stretch my legs a little and listen to my Dad and Liam’s conversation about his basketball practice later today. My Dad wants to personally talk to Liam’s Coach about what he thinks of my future in basketball.
Beings as I’m in my own little world the entire time, the run back home passes by quickly. I was thinking, once again, about whether or not I really want to try this whole basketball thing and go to school at USC or if I would be happier taking a once in a lifetime opportunity and going to Paris. But then I remember, like I always do, that I promised Liam, and now my Dad, that I would at least and I don’t want to let either of them down.
“That was a great run.” My Dad comments while we walk up our driveway.
Liam and I agree with him, trying to catch our breaths by breathing in through our noses and out through mouths with our arms resting on the top our heads.
“Well, I’ll see you two later. I need to go make sure your Mom’s up and getting ready.” My Dad says with a chuckle, walking into the house through the garage.
Liam grabs us bottles of water from the fridge in the garage while I sit down on the cement ground of my driveway and stretch some more. The one thing I do hate about running is getting cramps in my legs if I don’t thoroughly stretch afterwards or just forget to do it all together.
“How’s your knee feeling?” Liam asks after he hands me my water, sitting down across from me.
“Fine.” I shrug and finish stretching before taking a big gulp of my water.
Liam nods his head and begins to do his stretching too. Twenty minutes later my parents exit the house and wave goodbye before getting in their separate cars and leaving for work.
“Let’s go swim.” I say as I get up and walk inside the house, Liam trailing not far behind me.
Liam slightly cringes when I walk onto the back patio i
n my red strapless bikini. His eyes look sad when they scan over the still very visible dark bruises on my hips. I want to reassure him again that I’m okay and not upset with him, but something in the back of my mind tells me it won’t make him feel any different. So instead I slip into the water and start swimming laps. I know Liam is watching me from the edge of the pool, but I don’t let it affect me. The feel of the cool water against my still overly warm body is so soothing and easily makes any of my tense muscles relax. I do a few more laps before Liam gets into the water and mimics my actions. It isn’t much longer before both of us get tired and move towards each other for support. I wrap my legs around Liam’s waist and his arms snake around my body to hold me to him; my arms and his legs slowing working together in the water to keep us floating.
“Are you excited about coming to practice today?” Liam questions after placing a quick kiss to my forehead.
I force a small smile to my lips. “It should be fun.”
Liam slightly cocks his head to the side and stares at me for what feels like forever.
“What?” I finally ask.
“What’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean, Daisy.” He sighs. “Why are you pretending to be excited to come to practice?”
“I’m not pretending. I just…” I trail off, trying to find the right words.
“You can tell me.” Liam presses, nudging my nose with his.
“I know. It’s just…” I pause again, grasping at the words faintly forming in my mind. “I have these two amazing things to choose between and I don’t know which one is right choice. Let’s say I stay here for basketball, what if I don’t make the team? Or what if I get injured again before or after the try out? I would be missing out on an amazing opportunity in Paris.”
“But, what if you do make the team and you don’t get injured? You can still study the same things at USC and I’m sure you can find a cool internship here too.”
I tilt my head up and watch the clouds slowly move above us. No matter which way I twist either of my option, both of them pros that easily weigh out the cons.
“If you go to Paris,” Liam says hesitantly. “What would that mean for us?”
I look back at him, staring into his captivating, bright green eyes. “What would it mean for us if I stayed?”
Neither of us knows how to answer these questions and deep down, something tells me that maybe we never will. I care about Liam a lot and I really do like him, but could I love him? Could I love someone that has a dark side that scares me? Is there any way he could get through the dark that’s inside of him? Would I be able to help him do it? Or would I only end up getting in the way? A part of me feels like these are questions that I shouldn’t be wondering about yet. I mean, we’ve only been seeing each other for almost a month – a week of that being me trying to get as far away from Liam as possible. Can that be enough time together for me to base my entire future on though?
“You know what; we have time to worry about all of this later.” I decide as I release my legs from around Liam’s waist. “Are you hungry? I’m starving. Let’s go get something to eat.”
I quickly get out of the pool and make my way inside to my room. I turn on my shower and rise off quickly, Liam walking into my bathroom just as I get done. I leave the water running for him and step out of the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I see one of Liam’s gym bags sitting on my bed when I walk to my closet and realize he must’ve gone to his car and that’s what took him so long to come upstairs. I throw my hair up into a messy bun after I put on a black tank top with a Guns-N-Roses logo on the front, grey acid wash jean shorts, a pair of black high-top Chuck Taylor All Star Converse shoes. I apply a minimal amount of makeup and put on my favorite black Wayfarer Ray Ban sunglasses.
When I walk out of my closet, Liam is already dressed in a white tank top with the words ‘Cool Kids Don’t Dance’ in black on the front, faded black jeans, and white Chuck Taylor All Star Converse shoes. His hair is pushed back off his forehead with a red backwards facing snapback on his head and his damp curls poking out on the sides. I lean against the doorframe of my closet and watch Liam for a few seconds while he messes with something on his phone. I let my eyes trail over his bent arms, appreciating the way the muscles bulge in the perfect way that’s subtle and yet sexy. When Liam looks up at me, his eyes sparkling and his lips curved into a small smile, I realize that maybe I could love him someday.
“You ready?” He asks, causing me to nod my head and sling my purse across my body.
I follow Liam out to his car and, like always, he opens the door for me. After we’re both in and have our seatbelts on, Liam starts the car and I turn up the radio. I stop quietly humming along to the song playing when I realize Liam is singing. I pull my eyes away from my window and look at him. I smile when I see he has on the same black Wayfarer Ray Ban sunglasses as me. He doesn’t pay any attention to me though; all of his focus on the road and the song. I can’t believe how smooth and nearly angelic his singing voice is. This is something I never would have expected from him. When we stop at a red light, Liam finally looks over at me.
“What?” He questions when I give him a cheeky grin.
“You can sing.” I state, still a little shocked. “Like, you can actually really sing.”
He gives me a funny look as the light turns green and then puts his focus back on the road. I silently listen to Liam sing along to the music for the rest of the car ride and smile like an idiot while wondering how it’s even possible for him to become any sexier.
I can’t help but smile when Liam laces his fingers with mine after we get out of the car and walk over to the café we’ll be eating at. I grip his bicep with my free hand as I glance down at our feet and see we’re walking in sync.
“What are you so smiley for?” Liam questions, placing a quick kiss to my forehead while we wait to be seated
“I’m just happy.” I respond, looking up at him.
“Good, I am too.” Liam grins, pecking my lips before guiding me to the table our waiter has chosen for us.
Beings as we’re both starving, we waste no time ordering. While we’re waiting for our food, I notice two girls keep walking past us on the other side of the short ‘privacy fence’ that separates us. At first I don’t really pay attention to them until the third time they walk past giggling like little school girls and then finally come in and request to sit at a table that’s just a few away from us. It doesn’t take long for me to connect the dots; they’re trying to get Liam’s attention. A few minutes later our waiter brings us our food. Liam and I talk about his game this coming Friday and my cousin’s wedding the day after while we eat our food. The entire time we’re talking and eating, I can hear the two girls whispering and giggling to each other. I’m grateful I have on sunglasses due to how many times I’ve rolled my eyes. Every now and then I discretely glance back at the giggling girls and see they’re obviously staring at Liam. Most of the time I just brush it off my shoulder and ignore the girls that act this way towards Liam when I’m around, but there’s something about these girls that is driving me crazy. When our waiter brings over our check, he also hands Liam an extra slip of paper.
“The blonde girl over there asked me to give this to you.” He tells Liam with a shrug of his shoulders and then walks away with Liam’s credit card to pay for our food.
“What is it?” I ask Liam after he unfolds the paper; his sunglass covered eyes quickly looking over what is on the paper before glancing over at the giggling girls.
“Daisy, it’s nothing.” Liam tells me when I snatch the paper out of his hands before he can do anything further with it.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I grumble, anger quickly beginning to boil in the pit of my stomach.
The paper has a phone number with a heart after it and says ‘Call me for a fun time!’ underneath it. I crumple the paper up in my hand while standing up from the table and walking over to
the still giggling girls. I set the paper down in front of the blonde girl before I pick up her drink and pour it over her head. Both of them instantly stop giggling as the blonde girl shrieks and her friend stares at me with wide eyes.
“Thanks for the offer, but he already has a girlfriend.” I snap then turn and walk away.
Liam and our waiter stare at me with raised eyebrows when I walk past them and out of the café’s sitting area. I keep walking down the street, not bothering to stop at Liam’s Range Rover when the sudden realization of what I just did sinks in. I don’t know what came over me back there. I have never done something like that in my life. With all the other girls, they would stare, giggle, throw flirty looks, bat their eyelashes, and occasionally say ‘Hi’, but that was always it. I honestly thought I’d gotten past girls trying to get Liam’s attention. I guess this girl actually trying to pull Liam in with her phone number was what put me over the edge; and it didn’t really help that she was actually very attractive.
“Daisy!” I hear Liam yell as his Converse covered feet hit the hard cement below him. “Daisy, wait!”
“Just go away.” I grumble as I try to walk past him when he catches up and stands in front of me.
“No, Daisy.” Liam sighs as he puts his hands on my shoulders when I keep trying to move past him. “Daisy, stop.”
My eyes fill with angry tears as I finally give up and burry my head into Liam’s chest.
“Hey, don’t cry.” Liam sooths, wrapping his arms securely around me. “It’s okay, Daisy.”
“No.” I shake my head and pull away from him, crossing my arms over my chest. “I can’t believe I did that! I’m such an idiot!”
“No you’re not, Daisy.” Liam says in a reassuring voice. “She had it coming.”