by Jae
“How’s your knee feeling, Fields?” The girl guarding me while I dribble the ball down the court asks.
The coaches announced that for the last part of the tryout, we’re going to scrimmage using the offensive and defensive drills we learned today so they can see the way we move and react during game like situations.
I ignore the girl and keep dribbling, looking for an open girl to pass to.
“You shouldn’t be here.” She snarls. “Your time ended when you got hurt.”
I keep ignoring her words as I pass the ball; which I know is only pissing her off more. When I go to run around her, I feel her grab the back of my shirt and her nails dig into my skin as my shirt rips. I don’t let it faze me though and just keep going. Just a little bit longer and this will all be over.
I sit on the bleachers and drop my bag next to my feet when the tryout is finally over. While I take long drinks from my water bottle, a few girls walk past me and give me dirty looks and kick my bag around. I let out a sigh and cap my water bottle, not even bothering to do or say anything to them. What’s the point? It won’t make any difference and if any sort of fight breaks out, Liam will barge in here in less than a second to break it up. I walk back onto the court once everyone has left the gym and grab a basketball. I dribble around the perimeter of the court, just like I did at the first basketball practice of Liam’s that I went to, but this time I’m not listening to the sound of the ball hitting the court. Instead I’m stuck in my own thoughts. Why were all the girls treating me like that? What did I ever do to any of them? I want this just as much as they do. Don’t I?
“God damn it!” I scream as I throw the basketball, watching it smack against the wall.
“Daisy?” I hear Liam’s voice question from not far behind me.
“Go away, Liam.” I grumble while I rub my eyes out of frustration with the palms of my hands.
“Daisy, what’s wrong?” He presses; his voice a little closer this time.
“I said to go away, Liam!” I yell as I turn around, fixing my harsh gaze on him. He’s is standing no more than ten feet away from me, which is a lot closer than I was expecting. He stares at me, his eyes filled with concern and his eyebrows pulled together in confusion. Angry and frustrated tears sting the back of my eyes while we stare at each other.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Just go away, Liam.” I tell him again, practically begging this time. “I just want to be alone right now.”
Liam shakes his head, his long legs quickly closing the gap between us. The tears finally spill over onto my cheeks when I feel his arms wrap around me, holding my body close to his. I fist the back of his shirt in my hands while I cry out all of my pent up feelings about today and possibly about what the future holds for me, and Liam. I’m not sure how long we stand like this until I finally calm down and Liam pulls my head away from his chest, cradling it between his hands.
“Why are you crying?” He asks softly.
I shake my head and pull away from him, putting a few feet between us.
“I wasn’t good enough.”
“What are you talking about?” He questions. “Coach said that you were doing great while he was in here.”
“I tried so hard.” I tell him while pulling the hem of my shirt up, exposing my stomach to wipe the tears from my face before letting it fall back into place. “But it wasn’t good enough.”
“Says who?”
“Says every single girl that tried out today!” I exclaim. “The entire time they were giving me dirty looks and telling me how I don’t deserve to be here and that I’m no good anymore!”
“That’s not true, Daisy.” Liam tries to reassure me.
“What if it is? What if they are right? I know I used to be a great basketball player, Liam, I do. But I’m not anymore. Now I’m just okay. I’m only a mediocre basketball player now who would never be able to get a college basketball tryout on their own.” I pause, trying to collect my thoughts. “But either way, those girls were still willing to tear me down any way they could. And as much as I don’t want to admit it, it worked. I feel like absolute shit. I keep thinking over and over again about every single move I made during that tryout and none of it seems good enough. I used to be two steps ahead of everyone else and now it’s like they’re all five steps ahead of me.”
Liam doesn’t say anything. He just watches me. His emerald eyes never leaving my face.
“I just want to go home.” I sigh.
Liam nods his head as I walk away from him.
“Did one of those girls do that to you?” Liam asks, making me stop in my tracks and turn to look at him.
“Do what?”
“Rip your shirt and scratch you.” He responds.
I pull my shirt over my head and hold it up to see the back is hardly hanging by a thread. I then lift my arm over my head to look down at my side and see scratch marks that start on my side and disappear onto my back where my eyes can’t reach without a mirror. I completely forgot this even happened.
“You’re bleeding.” Liam says, startling me by how close he is again.
“It’s fine.” I tell him as I turn and walk to the bleachers.
I quickly trade out my basketball shoes for my athletic sandals. Liam laces his fingers in mine when we walk out of the gym. I also forgot I had parked next to his Rover when we get to the parking lot. I unlace my fingers from Liam’s after I unlock my Jeep and open the trunk, shoving my gym bag into it before slamming it shut. Liam grabs me by my hips as soon as I turn to face him and carries me to the front of my Jeep before setting me down on the hood. He pushes my knees apart, standing between them and pulling me to the edge so we’re as close as possible.
“I’m sorry those girls treated you like that and that the tryout didn’t go as well as you were hoping.” He tells me while slowly sliding his hands up my thighs. “But I think you’re amazing and I’m sure the coaches thought so too.”
“Thanks.”
“Everything will work out, Daisy, I promise.”
The next day I decide to lay out by my pool all day. My body is so sore from the tryout and the huge scratches that span from my side to nearly the center of my back really sting. My Dad and Liam decided to go golfing, so it’s just me and my Mom home today.
Last night, my Dad tried to hound me with questions about the tryout, but I just brushed him off and locked myself in my bedroom. I know this surprised him a lot, but I just wasn’t in the mood to discuss anything. After what felt like at least five minutes of him pounding on my door without me responding, my Mom pulled him away and told him to give me some space to sort my head out.
“Hello, sweetheart.” My Mom greets after she sits down on the lawn chair next to mine and hands me a glass of lemonade. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m still pretty sore.” I respond.
“How’s your knee?”
“It’s fine.”
“Daisy.” She sighs.
“I really don’t want to talk about it, Mom.”
“I know you don’t, sweetheart, but you need to.”
“Fine.” I grumble after a few minutes of silence. “It was horrible.”
“What do you mean? Did you not do very well?”
“No, it’s not that.” I pause. “Well, I guess, yeah, sort of.”
I look to my mom, but she stays quiet and waits for me to continue.
“I played and worked as hard as I could, but I don’t think it was enough. All of the other girls seemed so much better than me. All of them were so mean to me too, giving me dirty looks and saying nasty things.”
“Like what?” She interrupts.
“That I didn’t belong there, that I’m no good anymore, and rude names. They said some other stuff too, awful stuff, but I really don’t want to talk about it.” I explain, pausing for a moment to take a deep breath as tears begin to sting my eyes. “What sucks the most about a lot of the stuff they were saying though is in the back of my mind I think they
were right and that’s why it hurt my feelings so much. Normally I would brush it all off and not let any of it bother me, but for some reason I just can’t this time. I want to feel like I want to play again because I want to, not because Dad and Liam want me to. I don’t want to let them down, but after the tryout and everything I’ve been feeling because of it, I just don’t think basketball is what I want to do anymore.”
My eyes grow wide when I finish talking. This is the first time I’ve ever admitted that out loud. A small smile grows on my Mom’s lips as she gets up and sits with me on my lawn chair. I scoot over to make more space for her before resting my head on her stomach while she runs her fingers through my hair.
“I know you don’t want to disappoint your Dad or Liam, and that’s very noble of you, but you have to do what’s going to make you happy. And if it’s something other than basketball, then so be it. This is your life, Daisy. You are the only one who can make the choices that you know deep down are going to be right for you.”
“I know.” I sigh. “It’s just, if I go to Paris, I have to leave Liam and everyone I love. But if I stay here, then I miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I don’t think you have to worry about Liam. That boy would go to the end of the world for you.”
“Do you really think so?”
“I really do.” She responds with a smile.
For some reason I feel like she isn’t telling me something, but I decide to just leave it alone and relax while she runs her fingers through my hair like when I was a little kid.
“You want to come to Ouch with me?” Liam asks me when he and my Dad get back from golfing later that day.
“Are you getting another tattoo?” I ask him, slowly sitting up from my lawn chair.
“No, I have to get some things touched up.” He informs me while I stand up. “Hey, wait.”
I stop in my tracks at Liam’s words and stay still, letting him inspect the scratches on my back.
“Do they hurt?”
“Just a little.” I tell him with a shrug of my shoulders and then continue to walk inside.
Being too lazy to change out of my black strapless bikini, I pull on a black muscle tee with a Ramones design on the front, destroyed jean shorts, and a pair of black high-top Chuck Taylor All Star Converse shoes. I leave my hair in messy waves and apply a little foundation on my face and mascara on my eyelashes before walking out of my closet.
“Oh,” I say when I see Liam sitting on my bed and finally take in his appearance. “Now I feel really under dressed.”
He’s wearing a really nice black athletic polo that’s tucked into almost white khaki pants and a pair of white/red/black golfing shoes.
“You look fine.” Liam says as he runs his hands through his hair before picking up a white fitted hat I didn’t notice was next to him and puts it on his head facing backwards. “Let’s go.”
I shrug my shoulders and shove my phone into my purse while following him out to his car.
“Do you want to go eat somewhere later?” Liam asks me, his eyes still on the road.
“Could we just get some take out?” I ask, looking over at him. “You’re dressed far too fancy compared to me.”
“I can change, Daisy.” He laughs.
“If that’s what you want to do, we can.” I tell him. “I don’t care.”
Liam nods his head while glancing at me with concerned eyes.
“What?”
“You’re still in a funk about the tryout yesterday.”
I shrug my shoulders and turn to look out my window. “I’m fine.”
It isn’t much longer until we arrive at The Ouch Shop. Liam open’s my door for me and laces his fingers with mine as soon as he locks his Range Rover.
“Hey, wait a second.” Liam says, tugging me back and pushing me up against his car. I close my eyes when he presses his lips to mine and grips my hips in his hands.
“What was that for?” I ask when he pulls away, feeling extremely breathless.
“Nothing.” He smiles. “I just haven’t got to kiss you yet today.”
“Well that was one hell of a kiss.” I chuckle when he releases me and we move to cross the street.
“Hey!” Drew says when we walk inside. “How are you guys?”
“We’re doing alright, man.” Liam responds while they greet each other with one of those ‘bro’ handshake hug things that I don’t quite understand. “How are you?”
“Nothing to complain about.” Drew responds, making us all laugh as we follow him back to his tattooing room.
I watch Liam pull his shirt over his head before sitting down on the huge chair that reminds me of the ones they have at salons.
“Let’s see that bellybutton.” Drew says while motioning for me to show him.
I lift my shirt up a little so he can see it and giggle when he pokes the ring with his finger. My eyes shift over to Liam and I see a stern look growing on his face which causes me to quickly drop my shirt back down.
“That healed really well.” Drew nods his head before starting to sanitize the equipment he’s going to use on Liam.
“Thanks.”
“I wish you could’ve seen it when her friends dragged her in here.” Drew laughs, directing the comment at Liam. “The look on her face was priceless!”
This makes Liam laugh while he wraps his hand around the back of my thigh and pulls me closer to him.
“Then she made all of them get theirs done first just in case it was a trick.” Drew continues. “It was pretty awesome!”
This makes Liam laugh even more. I tune them out while they start to talk about other things. I could’ve sworn I’d seen Scott in the room that I got my bellybutton pierced in when we walked past it. I want to ask Drew if he’s here, but I don’t want to interrupt him and Liam’s conversation. I’m also not sure how happy Liam will be about me asking about him. When I decide Liam is distracted enough, I manage to slide out of his grasp and walk to the front of the shop where I find Scott standing behind the counter.
“Hey!” I greet, leaning on the counter in front of him.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” He asks, a big smile spreading on his face.
“Liam’s getting some things touched up.” I shrug my shoulders.
“Oh, yeah, that’s right.” He nods his head, his smile faltering a little. “I forgot I saw his name written in the books for today.”
I grin and nod my head.
“Have you thought about getting a tattoo?”
“Not really.” I chuckle.
“You should get one.” Scott encourages as he starts flipping through some papers.
“I don’t even know what I would get.”
“You could get a daisy.” He suggests, making both of us laugh.
“Wouldn’t that be a little self-centered?” I joke. “Plus Liam already has one. I would feel like I’m copying him if I did that.”
“He does?” Scott asks, looking up at me.
“Yeah, it’s right here.” I confirm as I lean over the counter and tap the left side of his chest in the exact spot Liam’s daisy tattoo is. “I drew it. It’s about the size of a golf ball.”
Scott nods his head while I pull my hand back and then continues to flip through more papers. I stay quiet and watch him for a few minutes, and then an idea pops in my head.
“I know what I want.” I say suddenly.
Scott sets the paper he’s looking over down without a word and takes me back to a room that I’m guessing is his tattooing area. I quickly explain to him what I want and where.
“Like this?” He asks, showing me the finished drawing.
I nod my head and then take off my shirt when he motions for me too.
“Sit down and scoot all the way back.”
I do as he says until I feel my back press against the back of the large chair. I watch him wipe my skin off with an alcohol wipe before pressing the paper to the skin on the left side of my chest; just a li
ttle below my collar bone.
“Are you sure?” Scott asks me for the third time after sanitizing his materials.
I nod my head and then cringe when I hear the sound of the tattooing gun. I would be more okay this idea if I didn’t have to hear that noise.
“Just take a deep breath and relax.” Scott tells me with a small smile.
I do what he says and then lean my head back with my eyes closed.
“Alright, here we go.”
I don’t really know how to describe the feeling of getting a tattoo other than it’s the weirdest feeling I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s almost like I’m getting scratched by a cat over and over again. It’s really not the painful feeling I was expecting, but more of an annoying feeling than anything else.
“All done.” Scott says after pulling back from me a while later.
“Really?” I ask, slowly opening my eyes.
Scott laughs and nods his head while pointing to something on the wall across from us. “You can go check it out in the mirror over there.”
I quickly get up, my shirt falling off my lap and to the ground as I rush to the mirror.
“Oh my God.” I say almost in disbelief while I brush my fingers over it. “It’s perfect! Thank you so much!”
“Not a problem.” Scott responds as he walks over to me and rubs some Neosporin on it and then tapes a piece of black plastic that I recognize from the one Liam had.
“How much do I owe you?” I ask after I pick my shirt and purse up and follow him back to the front.
“Fifty dollars.” Scott answers while I pull out my credit card and hand it to him; I slightly grin knowing I definitely just go a deal.
“Can I have a piece of paper and a pencil?” I ask after he hands me my card back and I put it away.