by Jae
“You okay there?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest with an amused look on my face.
“Holy shit!” Liam yelps, jumping slightly as he whips his body around to look at me. “You scared me.”
“Clearly.” I chuckle, a small smirk growing on my face. “Are you okay?”
“Am I okay? I… Uhh… Yes, of course.” Liam says, nodding his head as he runs his hand through his hair. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Not for too long.” I shrug my shoulders, giving him a confused look. “Have you been awake for a while?”
“Umm… Yeah, sort of. I woke up a little after 1 o’clock and couldn’t fall back asleep.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
“You looked comfortable.”
“Have you been pacing around like this the whole time?” I question, causing Liam’s eye’s to grow wide and look down at his feet. “Liam, seriously are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” He replies, bringing his eyes back up to lock with mine.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.” He answers with a small smile before gesturing for me to come towards him. “Come here, sit down. I want to talk to you about something.”
I push myself off of the doorframe and walk around the couch with a skeptical look on my face. After I sit down, Liam sits down on the edge of the coffee table directly in front of me.
“Daisy,” He says softly, taking my hands in his and looking directly in my eyes. “I need to tell you some very important things before I lose my nerve and I need you to promise me you’ll stay quiet until I’m done, okay?”
I slowly nod my head in agreement to the promise, now feeling a little bit uneasy. What’s going on?
“Daisy, when we first met, I was a mess to say the least. I was constantly getting into pointless fights and my anger issues were at an ultimate high. I was using girls and partying nearly every night. I was terrified of letting people get too close to me and I was unbelievably angry with my Dad. I had pushed my Mom and Grandma out of my life and felt like I wasn’t good enough for anyone. Ever since we met though, you’ve managed to clean up the mess I’ve made and help put me back together. You’ve shown me that there’s no reason to get into those fights and be so violent for the sake of building my ego. You’ve helped me get some control on my anger and find more productive ways to express it; like by pushing myself harder on the court and at work. I’ve never been with any other girl since meeting you and the only time I go to a party is if you’re right there with me. You’ve shown me that it’s okay to let people in and get close to them. By helping me open up more about my issues with my Dad, I’ve been able to start making peace with it. Because of you, I reconnected with my Mom and Grandma and my relationships with them have already turned into something greater than I could’ve ever hoped for. Because of you, I know that it’s okay to love and be loved.”
My eyes begin to sting with tears while I watch the man I love confess to me with eyes that hold fierceness full of love and determination that surprises me. He takes a deep breath before continuing
“Daisy, as cheesy as this is about to sound, I have fallen completely head over heels in love with you. You make me so happy; happier than I can ever remember being in my entire life. From the moment I wake up until the moment I fall asleep, all I can thing about is how lucky I am to have met you and have you in my life. You are so beautiful, Daisy. I love absolutely everything about you. Your smile, your laugh, your personality, the silly things you say, your eyes, your lips – just everything. To me, you are completely perfect and everything I’ve ever wanted and yet hardly deserve.”
I watch Liam with wide eyes when he takes another deep breath before digging into his pocket and pulling out the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen in my life. The simple elegance of it reminds me of a vintage Hollywood type style. The center that holds a sparkling round shaped diamond is surrounded by a glittering frame with additional round diamonds. The white gold band is lined in diamonds with intricate hand-finished milgrain beading and scrollwork.
“Daisy, will you marry me?”
I stare at the ring in Liam’s hand and it’s like my entire thought process goes blank and I completely forget how to function. Did he really just ask me to marry him? This can’t actually be happening. Oh my God, I need to say something. I really should say something.
“Daisy?”
“I’m going to Paris!” I suddenly blurt out.
My eyes grow even wider as I cover my mouth with both of my hands. I struggle to find something else to say as I watch Liam’s face fall and all of the intensity in his eyes disappearing into nothing.
“You’re what?”
“I… I – I’m – I…” I stutter horribly, my mind going into overdrive.
“You’re going to Paris?” Liam asks so quietly that I’m not sure if he was even talking to me and all I can do in response is nod my head, words still failing me.
“When did you… I mean, I don’t… You’re… What?” Liam stumbles over his words as he shoots up from his sitting position, the ring now clutched in his fist. I watch him begin to pace between the TV and the coffee table again, the look on his face indescribable.
“Were you even going to tell me?” He suddenly shouts, making me shrink farther back into the couch.
“Of course I was.” I answer, trying to keep my voice calm.
“Oh, really?” Liam chuckles bitterly. “When, Daisy? Huh? Was it going to be when you were getting ready to go to the airport or was it going to be after you already got to Paris?”
“What? No!” I respond, sitting up straighter. “Of course not! I was going to tell you, Liam – I just… The timing was never right and I didn’t really know how!”
I stand up and let out an irritated sigh when he just shakes his head.
“What did you want me to do Liam? Huh?” I question, my voice rising quickly. “How do you tell the guy you love more than anything in the world that you’re leaving the country? How did you expect me to do that, Liam?”
Another irritated noise escapes from me when he shakes his head again.
“I didn’t want to hurt you, Liam! That is the last thing I ever wanted to do!”
“Then don’t!” Liam shouts, looking me in the eyes. “Don’t go, Daisy!”
“I have to go, Liam.” I whisper, glancing down at my feet as tears begin to sting the back of my eyes. I instantly regret looking back up when I see the look on Liam’s face; like I’d just slapped him. When I try to reach out to touch him, he steps back and my fingertips just barely graze his arm.
“What about basketball, Daisy? You made the team. All of that hard work spent on rehabilitating your knee – I thought that’s what you wanted?”
“I thought I did too. But when it came down to it, I realized that I don’t love basketball the way I used to. Don’t get me wrong – basketball will always hold a special place in my heart, but let’s face it, I’m not as good as I used to be and I never will be. As much as that sucks, I’ve accepted it and it’s time for me to move on.”
“To Paris.”
“Yes, to Paris where I can study art and photography – two things that I am very talented at and passionate about. You have to understand, Liam, please. Please understand.”
“I do.” Liam sighs, glancing down at his feet for a second. “I do understand, but that doesn’t mean I have to like or agree with it.”
My face scrunches up in confusion. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I don’t want you to go, Daisy. I’m saying that I want you to stay here to study art and photography whether you play basketball or not. I’m saying that I love you and that I can’t stand the idea of you leaving. I know that sounds selfish and possessive, but I don’t care. I want you to be here, with me, not in a different country.”
“Liam…”
“I want to be with you, Daisy. ‘It’s you and me, always’, remember? I want to m
arry you. I want to have a life with you. I want to wake up every morning knowing you’re lying right there beside me. I want – I want…”
I bite my lower lip and squeeze my eyes shut when Liam trails off to fight back the tears that are thickening his throat.
“I just poured my heart out to you, Daisy, and asked you to marry me and you’re saying no.”
“What? I didn’t say no!” I panic, my eyes springing open and I try to reach out to touch him again. “All I said was that I’m going to Paris! That wasn’t a ‘no’!”
Liam sighs, running his hand through his hair.
“Liam, please.” I say, pressing my hands against his chest and sliding them up to his neck.
“I think you should leave.” Liam finally says, pulling my hands away from him.
“What?” I question, watching him set the ring down on the coffee table before walking around the couch. “Liam?”
“Just go, Daisy.” He responds firmly before disappearing down the hallway.
I jump, startled when I hear his bedroom door slam shut. Not being able to hold it together any longer, I let the tears freely fall from my eyes while I stare down at the ring.
It takes everything in me to leave Liam’s apartment. I don’t know how long I aimlessly drive around before I end up parked in my driveway. After I walk inside, I pause in the foyer and listen for any sign of my parents. Upon not hearing anything, I move into the kitchen and pull a bottle of water out of the fridge. I’m startled when I turn around and see my Mom now standing in the doorway staring at me.
“What happened?” She asks softly, never taking her eyes off of me.
These simple and yet totally loaded words are enough to make me completely break down again. My Mom instantly rushes over and guides me to a couch in the living room. I clutch to her and sob into her shoulder while she coos gentle words to me. The situation distracts me momentarily, reminding me of when I was younger and my Mom acting this same way whenever I would get hurt.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She asks once I’ve calmed down enough.
“I think Liam and I broke up.” I sniffle, looking down at my hands.
“Oh, sweetie, what happened?”
“He proposed to me and I told him I was going to Paris.” I respond, tears welling up in my eyes and nearly spilling onto my cheeks again.
“He proposed?” My Mom asks with a small grin.
“Yes, he did.” I respond with a confused look on my face. “Why do I get the feeling that you knew that was going to happen?”
“Because I did know.”
“How?”
“Liam came to your Dad and me a few weeks ago and asked for our permission.” She explains, taking my hands in hers. “We thought it was a little crazy at first, but he held a great argument as to why we should give him our blessing.”
This information hits me like a ton of bricks. Liam’s been planning on asking me for a few weeks now? How did I not see this coming? I can’t believe my parents said yes!
“Maybe I should stay here then. It’s not like I can’t study what I want to here.” I offer.
“No.” My mom shakes her head, squeezing my hands. “If Liam loves you as much as I think he does, he’ll let you go because he knows you deserve it.”
“What about us though? I don’t want to lose him, Mom. I love him so much.”
“I know, sweetie, but don’t worry about it. He’ll come around.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I can tell that boy loves you more than the entire moon and all of the stars combined just from the look in his eyes whenever you’re around or he’s talking about you. He’s something special, Daisy, and someone like that only comes once in a lifetime. That is one of the main reasons why your Dad and I agreed to him proposing.”
Eventually I make it to my room for a much needed nap but I can’t manage to shut my thoughts off long enough for that to happen. All I can do is stare at my ceiling and process everything that’s happened today with my phone clenched in my hand hoping Liam will text or call.
Chapter Thirty
Between crying and leaving numerous amounts of texts and voice mails on Liam’s cellphone begging him to call me so we can work this out, I barely get any sleep last night. I hate that he won’t answer me. I hate not having him here with me. What are you supposed to do when the one person you want to talk to is the same person who won’t talk to you? I miss him so much already. I wish I knew where we stand with our relationship right now. Are we still together? Are we broken up? Are we just on some type of hiatus? Not knowing is driving me crazy.
Getting up and getting dressed for work is a struggle to say the least. I stay in the shower way too long and throw my hair up in a messy bun with only concealer to hide my blotchy skin from crying so much and waterproof mascara for makeup. I get dressed in a plain white tank top with Liam’s oversized coffee colored sweatshirt that still smells like him over it, black leggings, and a pair of burgundy faux leather equestrian riding boots. I stop at Starbucks to get a Vanilla Bean Frappuccino and a blueberry muffin before I go into Red. I know the girls can tell there’s something up with me the second I walk into the shop because I’m fifteen minutes late, but they choose not to say anything about it.
“Hi, Daisy!” Kayla greets me after I come out of the back room.
“Hey.” I mumble while I set my muffin and drink down on the counter by the registers.
“Your boss decided to hire me!” She practically squeals. “I’m so excited!”
“I can see that.” I respond after readjusting my black Wayfarer Ray Ban sunglasses over my eyes and pealing the wrapper off of my muffin.
“She said that she’s going to have me train with you girls because you’re her best employees.”
I nod my head, taking a sip from my drink.
“Daisy, are you okay?” Kayla asks me after a moment of silence.
Before I can respond, Zoie and Taylor come over and ask Kayla to help them organize something. After I finish my muffin, Ella comes over and pulls me into a hug.
“Daze, what’s going on?”
Just like last night, this question is enough to make tears well up in my eyes again.
“I think Liam and I broke up.” I respond as a tear slips from behind my sunglasses.
“You think?” She asks, clearly confused. “What happened?”
Taking a deep breath, I swipe the tear off of my cheek and explain to her everything that happened between Liam and me yesterday.
“Daisy.” Ella sighs, her eyes expressing how sorry she is for me.
“How stupid could I be, Ella?” I ask, brushing another tear away. “He asks me to marry him and of all things that I should’ve said, I blurt out that I’m going to Paris.”
Ella and I take a moment to ring up a few customers before we continue with our conversation.
“I’m sure you just responded that way because you were so surprised by his proposal and your guilty conscious got the better of you.” Ella offers, trying to help me find some reason in my actions. “Even though it wasn’t exactly the most appropriate time, you were going to have to tell him anyway.”
“I really was shocked though. I mean, we’ve only been together for roughly three months now. When he said he wanted to talk, I thought maybe he was going to ask me to move in with him – not propose!”
“Yeah, that would’ve made a little more sense.” Ella chuckles. “Would you have said yes, though?”
“If he asked me to move in with him?” I question.
“No, to marry him.”
“Yes.” I say without having to think about it for a second.
“Really?” Ella asks, her eyebrows rising.
“Yes, really.” I chuckle. “Without a doubt, Ella.”
“Wow.” She responds and huge smiles appear on both of our faces.
“I know we’re young, obviously, but I don’t care. I’ve never felt so strongly about anyone before in my life.”
“I really am.”
When work is over, I drive around looking for Liam. I go to his apartment, his frat house, the college gym, and the gym he works at, but he isn’t at any of them. I try calling him a few times, but he still won’t answer.
This is how the rest of my week goes: I wear Liam’s clothes every day so I can still feel like he’s with me and when I get out of work I go looking for him but can never find him and he never once returns my calls or texts. To say I’m worried is a huge understatement – not to mention completely pathetic.
After work on Friday the girls ask me if I want to go to a party or the boys’ basketball game but I decline, telling them I’m not up for going out yet and that I doubt Liam would want me to be there since he won’t talk to me. So instead they decide to come over for a long overdue girl’s night in. We order pizza and Chinese takeout and watch horror movies on Netflix in my basement. For the most part, they do a great job of keeping my mind off of Liam.
On Saturday me and the girls stay at my house and swim all day, but when night rolls around they leave to go out on dates with their boyfriends. Even though I don’t ask them to, they ask the boys if they’ve seen or heard from Liam, but unfortunately they all say no. The only thing they know is that Coach told them Liam wasn’t going to be at practice this past week and would miss the game last night too, but he never gave any specifics as to why. I spend the rest of my weekend in bed eating ice cream, watching romantic comedies, and crying.
“Hey, Daisy!” I hear a voice shout as I’m about to walk into Red. Stopping in my tracks, I turn around hoping it’s Liam. Instead I see Kayden jogging over to me from his car across the street.
“Hey, Kayden.” I greet once he’s stand in front of me.
“How are you?”
“I’m doing alright.” I lie. “How are you?”
“I’m doing great.” He smiles. “I was wondering if I could still take you up on that offer to show me around.”
It takes me a second to respond, trying to recall what he’s talking about, then I remember the first night we met a couple weeks ago. Wow, that really feels like a lifetime ago. Do I really want to hang out with him, or anyone for that matter, tonight? No, not really. But I probably should anyways. It’ll be a good distraction from Liam. Liam… God, I miss him so much.