by Paul Preston
Suddenly the film jump cuts to a dark candlelit room, shot inside the director’s Chula Vista home. Farnsworth, as Father England, sits behind an old splintered wooden table. I enter the empty room as Brother William and approach the Father, kissing his ring and sitting down at the table on the chair opposite him. I remember we shot these long scenes in one take, with two, or if needed, three cameras set in stationary positions and rolling at the same time. The first camera was set up in a two-shot; one camera was set in close upon me and the other camera on Farnsworth. Later, Farnsworth would awkwardly splice the footage together in his bedroom, like a mad scientist, on his ten year old computer. The scenes and dialogue proceeded at a painfully languid, though very realistic pace. Since Farnsworth was pinching pennies on the film stock, I had, as in a live play on stage, only one shot at getting it right. We never filmed a scene twice. The movie was fairly short for a feature length film, with a running time of about seventy five minutes.
Before uttering my first line I thought, “Don’t act. Don’t make an extraneous movement. Be still. Do nothing. Let the camera do the work. You are no longer Edward. You are Brother William. And your character William is not the one beginning the descent into madness. You are, Edward. You are…”
Father England: Good afternoon, my son.
Brother William: Good day to you, Father.
Father England: You needn’t kissed my ring. I’m not the Pope. I’m just a poor humble Priest who has committed his life to serving Christ. I am pleased to make your acquaintance, young man. You seem like an earnest fellow, Brother William. In your letter of application to join our monastery as a novice, you say you are devout Catholic and wish to make the vows of poverty and chastity in service to our Lord and Savior. Is that correct?
Brother William: Yes. I am ready to make the commitment to Christ, Father.
Father England: May I ask what precipitated this decision to join our humble monastery?
Brother William: I come seeking penance. I am a sinner, Father.
As I say my line I take my hood off, briefly glance at Father England, and then look downward. It is the first time the camera captures my face. Every time I see the shot, I still can’t believe it was me in the movie. I looked so young back then, with a healthy bronze glow on my cheeks, before my bone marrow became infected, my immune system broke down and the deathly grey pallor of my skin set in.
Father England: My son, the love of Christ shines equally on us all, sinners and saints alike. No matter what sin you committed that led you to our humble monastery, I will not hold you in judgment. How can I judge you, when Our Merciful Lord has already forgiven you? But tell me. What you have done?
Brother William: I… lusted after my neighbor’s wife, Father. I broke one of the Ten Commandments with her.
Magdalena enters Father England’s study and is seen sweeping in the background.
Father England: Did you… commit the sin of adultery with your neighbor, Brother William? It is a very serious sin in the eyes of the Lord.
Brother William: No, Father. I am still a virgin. Though I never touched her… I did… covet her, Father. She is very pretty Father. I lusted for her in my heart.
Father England: I see… Our lives, Brother William, go through many stages. We are at the mercy of unbridled thoughts and lustful desires in our youth. Our middle years are burdened by responsibilities and in our dotage we look back with wistful longing to experience our youth once more. You are not alone, my son. Since the Original Sin in the Garden of Eden, every man has struggled with shameful desires.
Magdalena is seen leaving the room.
Brother William: My sexual desires are a constant torment to me, Father, and I wish to be rid of them once and for all. I want to be able to truly serve the Lord, without these dirty thoughts plaguing me.
Father England: Well, you can be free of these desires, my son, but not without a struggle. In the Gospel of Matthew, Our Lord Jesus Christ fasted for forty days and nights in the desert to overcome the temptation of the devil. So what I propose for you is a forty day trial period here, to see if the monastic life is right for you. After the novitiate, you will be evaluated for acceptance to the Order of our Brotherhood. If accepted, you will take a vow of poverty and chastity in service to Christ and will have your hair sheared off, as is the custom here. During this trial period you will wake each day at sunrise for morning prayers and meditation. After a crust of bread, you will beg for alms in the town square during the day and return here at sunset for a bowl of rice and dram of water for your nourishment. Do you agree to the terms of this agreement, young man?”
Brother William: I will let your spiritual wisdom be my guide, Father England. I hope I am deemed worthy one day to gain acceptance to your Holy Order.
Father England: Very well, then. Let me show you to your quarters.
Father England picks up a candle and guides Brother William out of his office, down a dark hallway and into a small room. He sets down the candle on a table and lights two other candles to illuminate the empty room. In the corner on the floor are a thin mat and a table. The camera focuses on a bible, a silver basin and a chalice which sits on the table. A knock is heard.
Father England: You may enter.
Magdalena shyly inches through the doorway and quietly closes it behind her. She begins sweeping the dust into a pile.
Father England: Sister Magdalena, I’m glad you’re here. Let me introduce you to our new novice, Brother William.
Magdalena bows low to Brother William, her loose thread-bare peasant dress slipping over her shoulders, revealing her breasts.
Magdalena: Good evening, Brother William.
A close-up shot of Brother William reveals his breathless reaction to seeing the beautiful breasts of Magdalena. Through the candlelight, the second camera angle captures Magdalena from Father England’s point of view. As he perceives the Sister, her breasts are appropriately covered. Magdalena notices Brother William staring at her exposed breasts and smiles sweetly, making eye contact with him before covering herself. Brother William looks down, shamefully.
.
Brother William: I’m pleased to make your acquaintance, Sister.
Father England: Yes, Sister Magdalena is quite indispensable to us. I don’t know how we would manage without her. Her husband, the town baker, a good and generous man, donates the bread and rice for our morning and nightly constitutions. Sister serves the monks their meals and keeps our humble little dwelling tidy. Jesus Christ has bestowed upon us an innocent and lovely Sister with such a sweet disposition to help us here at the monastery, don’t you agree, Brother William?
Brother William: Yes, Father. You are truly blessed.
Father England: Well, I will let you get your rest and will join you again tomorrow at morning prayers. Have a good rest, my son, and do not let your heart be troubled by what we spoke of earlier. Even Our Lord, upon saving the prostitute from being stoned, did not sit in judgment of her. Rather, with His Abundant Mercy, He forgave her of her sins. As in the Gospel, you too are forgiven for the lustful thoughts you had for your neighbor’s young wife. Just as Jesus said, so I say to you, Brother William. Go and sin no more.
Brother William: Thank you, Father, for forgiving me for my past transgressions.
Father England: It is not I who forgives you, but the Loving and Merciful Heart of our Lord Jesus Christ, whose blood was spilled on the cross by His Almighty Father in Heaven to wash away the sins of the world. Sleep peacefully, my son.
Brother William: Thank you, Father.
Father William leaves and shuts the door behind him.
Scene 2: How May I Be of Service to You?
Magdalena continues to silently sweep the dust on the floor into a pile in the middle of the room. When she bends over to sweep the debris into a dustpan, the hem of her short skirt rises up the back of her legs to reveal her pretty rounded backside, uncovered by panties. The camera captures Brother William’s reaction, staring at her backside
through parted lips. While still bent over, Magdalena senses she is being watched and looks over her shoulder at Brother William, giving him a pleasant smile. Brother William immediately looks away, picks up the Bible by his bed and randomly flips it open to read the scripture. Magdalena shyly approaches him, sweeping near his bed.
Magdalena: Brother William? I don’t mean to disturb your studies, but may I speak to you about a confidential manner? It concerns my husband. I am in need of council.
Brother William: I’m hardly qualified to dispense spiritual advice. There must be someone else here, Father England perhaps, who could help you far more than—
Magdalena: I can’t talk to anyone else here about my problem. You see, my husband supplies the food as well as the bread and wine for Communion service. The Monastery is so dependent upon him; I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone else but you, Brother William.
Brother William: Well then, I’ll try to help you in any way I can, Sister. How may I be of service to you?
Magdalena suddenly begins to silently weep, her head bowed, leaning over her broom. Brother William stands, takes the broom from her arm and she collapses into his chest, sobbing into his shoulder. He tentatively tries to comfort her by giving her an embrace. He holds her tenderly in his arms until she stops crying.
Magdalena: I’m sorry. Please forgive me.
Brother William: Sit with me, Sister, and tell me what’s troubling you.
They kneel together on the floor, still holding one another very closely as they talk. He uses a prayer cloth on the table to dry her eyes. He tries his best not to look down at her breasts which are barely contained in her peasant’s dress.
Magdalena: Please. You mustn’t tell anyone this. Can you please not repeat what I say to anyone else? It’s very important to me and my family to keep what I say private.
Brother William: Of course, Sister. I will not repeat what you tell me to another living soul. You have my word.
Magdalena: I… despise my husband… I do. I despise him.
Brother William: Despise him? But why?
Magdalena: He is old and fat and ugly. He’s mean to me. He beats me when I don’t clean the kitchen to his satisfaction. He… rips my dress off and… orders me to put my hands on the kitchen counter. Then he…
Brother William: What?
Magdalena: He… he takes his thick leather belt off and…
Brother William: No…
Magdalena: He whips me. With his belt. Every night. Night after night.
Brother William: That’s terrible. I’m so sorry, Sister. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. No one does.
Magdalena: You are a gentle soul William, but most men in this village are vicious and cruel to their wives. They get drunk, beat their wives and then attend chapel every Sunday and all is forgiven. I’m forced to perform my wifely duty when the mood strikes him. He makes me do unspeakable things to him, which sickens me.
Brother William: I’m so sorry.
Magdalena: I never wanted to marry him. My family is very poor and my Father is sick. We needed medicine to keep him alive so they sold me to the Baker as his live-in servant. Without the medicine my husband pays for, my Father would not be alive. When I became pregnant he married me, but he still treats me like his maid. I hate my life, William. I hate it. I wish I could run away from it all.
Brother William: That was a selfless act to help save your Father. I’m sure Our Lord in Heaven will reward you.
Magdalena: I don’t care if there’s a reward waiting for me! I regret letting them sell me to that awful man, even if it saved my Father’s life.
Brother William: But you have a child now, yes?
Magdalena: I do. A baby boy.
Brother William: What a blessing for you. Perhaps that’s the reason you’ve gone through such a—”
Magdalena: The baby doesn’t make me happy either. It cries and fusses all day and night. I can hardly sleep anymore. The baby won’t latch on to my nipples and drink the milk from my breasts. My husband constantly complains that it’s my fault he won’t suck. My nipples and breasts are so sore from the baby biting down on them and my husband fondling and squeezing them to try to get the boy to suck. When the baby cries, my husband gets mad at me and threatens to beat me if I can’t quiet him down. The only peace I have is when he cries himself to sleep and I can come to the monastery for an hour to help the poor monks here. I am so unhappy, Brother William. I don’t want to be married or be a Mother anymore, but I’m trapped. I’m trapped with nowhere to go.
Brother William: I am at a loss of what to say. I will pray for you, Sister, and implore Our Lord to help you find the strength to—”
Magdalena: Brother William, I appreciate your prayers, I do, but there is something else I was hoping you could do to alleviate my pain.
Brother William: Tell me. What can I do to help you?
Magdalena: It’s… my breasts, Brother William. And my nipples. They’re so sore and enlarged. Since the baby is unable to suck, my breasts have become so swollen, so filled with milk. I can’t sleep. Fluid constantly drips from them, ruining my clothes. Could you help me…remove the milk from my breasts?
Brother William: Remove the… I’m not sure… what you want me to…
Magdalena: They’re so full, so painful. You could kiss them, just suck on my nipples and remove the fluid. You’re holding me so sweetly and comforting me. It would be so easy for you to help me, Brother William, to alleviate my pain.
Brother William: I do… wish to help you… in any way I can, but…”
Magdalena: Here. Perhaps this will help.
Magdalena slides the straps of her top over her shoulders, fully exposing her breasts. She squeezes her breasts and a creamy white fluid seeps out of her nipples and drips over her areolas. Brother William gazes at the secretion. She leans closer and their lips touch. Brother William kisses down her neck and over her breasts. As he sucks on each nipple, Magdalena tilts her head back and moans with pleasure. As he continues to passionately suckle upon her nipples, the young monk swallows a large amount of her mother’s milk.
Magdalena: How lovely you are to me. Why couldn’t I have married you? Why? It’s too late now. Too late…”
Brother William pulls his mouth off her nipples, gasping for air, his cheeks and chin dripping with the milk from her breasts. Magdalena’s nipples continue to lactate with white fluid.
As Mr. Bergman watched the scene I revealed the secret of our humble little film’s sole special effect. It was quite simple. Crouched behind Elizabeth, Farnsworth’s assistant Delores used an eye dropper filled with heavy cream and dripped it onto the tips of Elizabeth’s nipples whenever the shot called for her breasts to leak mother’s milk. Mr. Bergman nodded and we continued watching.
Brother William: Oh my Lord!
Magdalena sees that Brother William has become painfully aroused. She lowers the monk down upon his sleeping mat, lifts the robe and mounts him in the shadows, slipping in and out of him with ease.
Brother William: What are you… no, this isn’t right.
Magdalena: Shhhh… Don’t worry.
Brother William: But… it’s wrong. You’re married… and I’m… it’s my first time… I’m… a virgin… I’ve never…
Magdalena: I know. I know you are…
Brother William: But—”
Magdalena: Shhh… Don’t worry, we’re doing nothing wrong. I’ve wanted to do this from the very first moment I saw you in church one Sunday long ago. Shouldn’t we at least once in our lives know what it feels like to love and be loved? Shouldn’t you have one experience before you make your vow of chastity? Can you feel me inside you? Do you feel me?
Brother William: Yes, but… we’re committing adultery… we’re…”
Magdalena: I may be married, it’s true, but I only did it to save my father’s life. I’m not married in my heart. My heart I give to you, young man. Oh, you feel so good inside me.
Brother William: I’m
not used to… or experienced in… I may not be able to… I don’t want to make you…
Magdalena: Don’t worry, my love. I’m unable to get pregnant so soon after giving birth. Don’t feel afraid to let go. I can’t tell you how good you make me feel. My husband, the brute, pounds away at me and I feel nothing, but with you it’s so different. I’m so aroused by you. I think I’m falling in love with you, Brother William.
Brother William: Oh, Sister!
Magdalena: Call me Magdalena.
Brother William: Magdalena!
They embrace passionately in the dark and switch positions. Brother William mounts Magdalena and thrusts into her with abandon. The camera records her face as she has an orgasm, breathing rapidly and clutching at his shoulders.
Magdalena: Oh my Lord that was good. I’m sweating. How could you last so long, for your first time? My husband has never lasted this long. You’re like a stallion on top of me, my sweet boy. You’re going to make me sore down there.
Brother William: I’m sorry. I don’t mean to—
Magdalena: Don’t apologize. You bring me nothing but pleasure, young man. My breasts don’t hurt anymore and I’m happier inside. You’re so virile. Would you like to finish inside me now?
Brother William: Yes, but… I don’t know why, but no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to…