by Paul Preston
“Is this too tight, sub?”
“No, My Lord. I can’t express to you how good it feels to be tied. You’re fulfilling a fantasy I’ve had all my life. I want to tell you, please don’t be afraid of what I’m about to say, but… I love you, Master E. I’ve loved you from the first moment I saw you at the audition. I could tell you were infatuated with Elizabeth. She is a very beautiful woman, but if your time with her is over, I pledge my life to you, Edward James. I don’t need a week to decide, I’ll sign the contract tonight. As your submissive slave, everything that I have is yours now, Sire. I will transfer the property ownership of this condo into your name, as well as the annual trust fund my parents established for me. You needn’t work another day in your life again, Edward. You can pursue your acting career and live here with me. All I ask is that you take me as your submissive and allow me to serve you, as a woman. I can’t tell you how happy it would make me if you would agree to be my Dom, Edward.”
I thought about the offer. I’d never be with the woman I loved, but perhaps I could fulfill the sexual fantasies of Delores, make her happy, I thought.
“It’s a very tempting offer, Delores. I have no desire for your property or money, but I think you’re very attractive and would be honored to be your Dom. Give me a day to think about it. I’ll tell you my decision when we begin filming tomorrow night. OK?”
“I can’t wait for your answer, Sire. Would you allow me to give you a gift? I wanted to give it to you on the day we signed the contract, but I can’t wait any longer. Look inside the second drawer, under my lingerie.”
I opened the package. It was a photograph of Elizabeth and I. Delores must have taken it during a break in the filming of “The Monastery”. We were seated on the wooden bench, holding hands, looking directly into the camera and smiling. My heart felt tight in my chest as I looked at her picture. I set it down on her bedside table, facing me.
“It’s a lovely picture. Thank you, Delores.”
“You look so happy in it. I wanted you to have something to remember “The Monastery”. I thought you were excellent in it, Edward. It was a much better movie than In the Dungeon of Master V.”
“Thank you. That’s very kind of you to say.”
“You know, we have a sex scene together in SSSQ69. I can’t wait to have sex with you on camera, Master E.”
I did remember the scene midway through the script when Delores is offered to aliens aboard the Grey Alien Mother ship. The whole movie seemed like a complete waste of my time as an actor now.
“Are you looking forward to it too?”
“I am, Delores. It was very thoughtful to give me this photograph. May I give you a gift now?”
“What gift?”
I slipped a red satin blindfold over Delores’ eyes and kissed her lips. I licked her neck and over her pert breasts and nipples and down the middle of her torso. I took the nub of her clitoris in my mouth and sucked on it as she writhed beneath me. I rubbed a few drops of Clitoral Massage Cream over her sensitive spot with my thumb and she purred in a feline manner.
“It feels so good, My Lord. It’s so warm there.”
“I’m happy you like it, sub.”
Using two fingers in a V-shape, I slipped in and out of her sheath, pressing upwards. I increased the speed of the rocking motion of my fingers and the intensity of the pressure, while sweeping my thumb lightly over the tip of her clitoris.
“Oh My God, you’re going to make me come!”
“Come for me then, sub.”
In one final deep thrust, she trembled and released a thick creamy substance onto the tips of my fingers and into my palm. The white effluence seeped out from within her as her thighs quivered and twitched.
“Oh my God that feels good. Oh my Lord, I’ve never come like that before. Please get inside me, My Lord. You can come inside me without protection. I’m on the pill. Please let me feel you inside me.”
I mounted her, slipping my shaft deep inside. I pumped myself into her with abandon for several minutes, breaking into a sweat. I held her tightly around her roped hips, thrusting over and over into her, as if trying to split her apart. My penis felt more like a rod of steel, rather than human flesh. She trembled and shivered several times beneath me in paroxysms of pleasure, the sticky effluence of her orgasm accumulating at the base of my shaft. I wondered what it was like to be a woman and experience multiple orgasms, rather than one satisfying intense release.
“My Lord, I’m feeling faint. No one’s ever lasted this long or been so virile with me. You don’t have to hold back with me any longer, My Lord.”
I had no idea how I had been able to hold back so long. Then, when I looked into the eyes of Elizabeth in the photograph, I suddenly realized why I hadn’t been able to let go. I heard the voice of Elizabeth whisper in my ear.
“I like the taste. I like to swallow, Edward.”
At that moment my semen shot out in several bursts inside Delores’ womb, triggered by Elizabeth’s soft sexy voice. Afterwards, I lay beside Delores, panting, our sweat sticking to each other’s skin. I untied the rope and wrapped my arms around her. She kissed me and whispered into my ear.
“That was so hot! You are the perfect man for me, Edward James, the perfect Dom.”
I held her tightly until we both drifted off to sleep.
We slept in the next day, had a late breakfast and then split up to go to our separate jobs. I took the photograph of Elizabeth and I and the contract with me. After a great deal of thought, I decided to sign the contract and enter the Dom/sub relationship with Delores. Elizabeth had gone down a separate path that led her away from me and I felt committing myself to Delores was my best chance to move on from Elizabeth and start over. I would never be able to love Delores or feel passion for her, but I knew I could fulfill her sexual needs and take care of her as her Dom. I drove to Chula Vista with the signed contract on the car seat next to me.
When I arrived, I parked and turned off the ignition. When I attempted to open my car door and get out, I felt paralyzed. I couldn’t manage to lift my arm to open the door. I looked toward the home where I had met Elizabeth and filmed the two erotic movies. I realized I could not bear to make the next film without her. Though I knew it was unprofessional of me as an actor to quit the project and irresponsible as a man to turn my back on Delores after she opened herself up to me, I started my car and drove away from the house without looking back. I drove back downtown, walked over to a business supply store, had the contract professionally shredded and then walked home.
Chapter Fifteen
The Wedding of Elizabeth Rose
With a concerned look in his eye, Mr. Bergman asked me what happened next. I told him that after I broke my commitment to Delores and dropped out of the next film project, my life slowly began to unravel. At first I tried to return to my old routine, living in the flophouse downtown and bussing tables at Denny’s. I scoured the San Diego Reader for auditions but most of the summer shows had already been cast. I tried to keep myself healthy by exercising, doing reps of push-ups and sit-ups in my studio apartment to keep from completely falling apart.
I fantasized about getting back together with Elizabeth constantly. She would show up at Denny’s, run into my arms and tell me she made a mistake and wanted to get back together with me. With Elizabeth at my side, I would be discovered by a casting director in one of my plays and then get cast in a feature film. After finally getting noticed as an actor, more paying acting gigs would come my way. Eventually we would have enough money to get married and raise a family together. Like a Hollywood movie, my life would have a happy ending.
I began to have trouble sleeping. I would wake up in the middle of the night painfully aroused, replaying the sexy scenes from our movies or from the interludes in her Hillcrest apartment. Dark circles appeared under my eyes. I stopped eating regularly, quit exercising and lost weight.
I felt so alone and depressed one night I had the idea to drive out to Chula Vista and beg F
arnsworth to let me back into the cast of “The Sexual Servants of Quadrant 69”. I decided against it, not because I was trying to retain my last shred of dignity as an actor, but because I was actually afraid Farnsworth wouldn’t allow me back in his video, even in a non-speaking role. I felt embarrassed about what happened with Delores and couldn’t face her as well. I had finally sunk to the very bottom of my personal and profession life. It was somehow comforting to know I could fall no further. I never heard what happened to “SSSQ69”. With the way my luck was going, it would probably become the next Star Wars franchise.
After a few weeks of not seeing Elizabeth, she called me at Denny’s to ask how I was. At first I was so excited to hear her voice on the phone, I became short of breath and my fragile heart raced. She told me she missed me and wanted to be friends. We decided to get together for lunch in Horton Plaza. I thought it would cheer me up to see her, but it had the opposite effect. It turned out she’d been on several dates with the brilliant doctor and started a romantic relationship with him. Elizabeth told me Eric had already popped the question while taking her on a ride on his sailboat in San Diego Harbor last weekend and she accepted. She showed me the big fat diamond engagement ring on her finger. They already started talking about buying a property together near the University and raising kids. She was very excited about her future.
I know it may sound insensitive of her to tell me about her engagement, but it wasn’t that way at all. I know she just wanted to share the good news with me as one of her friends. It was good to see her so happy. I wished I could feel happy for her too, but I just felt empty inside. I kept my feelings hidden though, because I wanted to remain her friend. She said she was extremely busy, but promised to introduce me to her boyfriend soon. Before leaving Elizabeth asked me to never mention anything about the two adult films we acted in together to Eric or any of her friends.
“Are you ashamed of what we did together?” I asked.
“No, it’s just no one would understand,” Elizabeth said. “I’d rather keep that side of my life a private memory just between you and me. Do you understand, Edward?”
I nodded, agreeing to act as if our past never happened. She kissed me in a friendly manner on the cheek and left. Her intoxicating scent lingered with me and I kept breathing it in through my nostrils like a drug. Soon the lovely smell was gone.
I didn’t see her for several weeks after that meeting. Perhaps it was better to keep the secrets of her previous life hidden from the physician. One afternoon I fished a fancy envelope addressed to me out of my junk mail and opened it with a sick feeling. The wedding invitation was for the final weekend in August, performed on the beach in front of the Hotel Del Coronado. Elizabeth had written a short note on the backside of the card.
“Hi Edward. I’m sorry I haven’t called you for so long. I know this is hard for you, but can you come to my wedding? I want to introduce you to some of my friends. Also, my Father is coming Edward. I haven’t told anyone about him, other than you. Please come. I need you there. I hope you aren’t mad at me anymore and we can be friends now. I miss you. All my love, Elizabeth.”
Despite how painful I knew it would be for me, I sent back the RSVP to attend the wedding of Dr. Eric Richards and Elizabeth Rose. I decided to not get involved with any future projects that would interfere with Elizabeth’s wedding, not that I had any offers anyway. I arranged to take the entire weekend of the wedding off from my job and had the Express suit I had worn to the AVN Awards dry cleaned for the fateful day. I spent the remainder of the summer bussing tables by day and walking around the city streets by night. Like a rudderless ship, I wandered around aimlessly, until I ended up on the same bench at Seaport Village late each night, overlooking the water of San Diego Harbor. I’d stare up at the twinkling lights of the Coronado Bay Bridge and then stumble home on aching feet. I would try to sleep a few hours and then do it all over again the next day.
The wedding day arrived. My clunky dented old car had been illegally parked on a side street and had recently been towed away. It wasn’t even worth what it would cost to get it out of the impound yard, so I just left it there. While the other guests pulled up to the most famous and exclusive hotel in Southern California to have their luxury cars valet parked, I arrived at the social event of the summer by public transportation. Hundreds of well-dressed people made their way through the hotel to the silky white sand beach and took their seats near the sparkling blue ocean. I took a seat in the back of the crowd. There were live musicians playing Mendelssohn’s Wedding March to the gentle sound of the surf. I watched tuxedoed ushers escort the guests of honor from each family to their seats in the front rows. I couldn’t see much from where I was seated and it was just as well. I let the soothing sound of the violins and the waves breaking on the shore comfort me.
As the congregation stood to watch Elizabeth walk down the aisle, I only saw a portion of her shoulders and the train of her long white wedding dress sliding behind her in the sand. Unfortunately, from the angle I was seated, I had a full on view of the tall, handsome physician and husband to be, Dr. Eric Richards. He looked like the kind of guy that could repair a gunshot wound to the cranium with one hand while replacing a leaky pipe under the kitchen sink with the other. A man’s man. Solid marriage material.
They mumbled some vows, said “I do” and joined lips in a tentative, husband and wife kind of way, but not with the intense hunger I devoured Elizabeth with during the days and nights of our passion. I still had not made eye contact with her as she walked through the crowd and back toward the hotel. The crowd shuffled along behind the newly minted couple.
I wandered through the labyrinth of hallways in the hotel on the way to the reception. I stopped to look at some photographs exhibited of the movie actors Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis, Marilyn Monroe and Peter O’Toole during the filming of “Some Like it Hot” and “The Stunt Man”, which were shot at the hotel. They were respected actors in famous artfully done movies that entertained millions, while I was in two low-class porno movies, I thought to myself. Seeing the look of disgust with myself reflected back at me in the glass, I wanted to slam my fist through the historic picture frames and leave behind my legacy of obscure actor’s blood all over the polished wood floors and plush carpets of the Hotel Del.
I made my way into the Grand Hall and found my assigned seat at one of the tables. Shrimp cocktails had already been served and I took a swallow of wine that had been waiting for me, deciding to get drunk for the occasion. It wouldn’t take much, since I was such a lightweight in drinking as well.
I saw a pretty conservatively dressed older woman sitting across from me at the table, a glass of wine in her hand. She made eye contact with me and spoke.
“Bride or groom?” she asked.
“What?” I asked as I finished my glass.
She smiled and stared at me rather intensely.
“I was asking if you are a friend of the bride or groom,” she said.
“Bride,” I said.
“I’m Eric’s lawyer, Deborah Steele. I represented Dr. Richards in a medical malpractice suit and we became friends.”
“Oh,” I said.
I looked away, not in the mood for a chat. A waiter refilled my wine glass.
“Didn’t Elizabeth look beautiful in her wedding dress?” she commented.
“Yes,” I said, taking another drink of my wine.
“You don’t talk much, do you? That can be an attractive quality in a man,” she said. “What’s your name?”
“Edward James.”
An annoying MC started loudly introducing each member of the bridal party to blaring background music, their palms pumping the air as they made their entrance into the reception in pairs. Suddenly I felt uncomfortable and slightly nauseous about seeing Elizabeth now that she was officially married. I stood up abruptly.
“Excuse me for a moment please, Ms. Steele.”
I walked out of the banquet hall, went into the stall of the nearest bathroo
m, closed and locked the door. My forehead broke out into a sweat and I took several deep breaths, hiding there for several minutes until I found my courage to go back to the wedding. Deborah noticed me as soon as I sat back down.
“Where’ve you been for so long, Edward? You missed their first dance as husband and wife.”
“I just needed some air,” I said.
I made it back just as our main course arrived. I wasn’t hungry at all, so I just picked at the Lobster Thermador and finished my second glass of wine. Elizabeth and her new husband began making their rounds of the tables. My instincts told me to get the hell out of there, but just as I stood up I saw Elizabeth look at me from the adjacent table with a tender expression in her eyes.
“Edward, you made it!” Elizabeth said, walking directly over to me and giving me an affectionate hug.
I didn’t know what to say to her. I just smiled and looked down at my feet.
“Yes…” I think I said.
“Oh my gosh! You look so thin, Edward. Have you lost weight?”
Everyone stood up at the table, giving handshakes and hugs to Elizabeth and Eric. Suddenly he was standing right next to me, so close I could bury my steak knife into the soft part of his belly. He held out his hand and my slender fingers disappeared into his manly grip.
“Forgive me. I don’t think we’ve been introduced. You’re friends with my wife?” the husband asked.
“Yes.”
“Your name is?”
“Edward James.”
“That’s odd. I don’t think Elizabeth has ever mentioned—”
As usual, right on cue, Elizabeth Rose was there to save me.