Tyler was quiet as he followed her up the stairs. He opened the door for her, then handed her the key. “I think I should give this back to you,” he said, avoiding looking directly at her.
With a strange little ache inside, she took it. “Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“I’ll be here.”
Relieved that he hadn’t given up on her altogether, she walked into her living room and sank down on the love seat. She couldn’t have heard bells. Yet she had. The loudest, most musical bells she’d ever heard in her life.
The problem now was figuring out what to do about it. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be in love with a man who thought he could run her life. She’d had enough of that from her mother. Yet she couldn’t deny the way Tyler Jackson had made her feel when he’d kissed her.
She was too tired to sort things out tonight, she decided. She hoped a good night’s sleep would help her see things more clearly in the morning.
The only trouble was, she couldn’t sleep at alL Every time she drifted off, she dreamed about Tyler and the bells. She’d wake up with a pounding heart and dry mouth, then it would take her an hour or more to go back to sleep, only to repeat the process.
By the time the sun made sleep impossible, she felt as if she’d tramped miles through a wet forest. Her arm ached from all the tossing and turning, and she was dying for a cup of coffee.
She pulled on her robe and drifted into the kitchen. Yawning, she poured water into the coffeepot and set it back on the stand. She added a dash of extra coffee, figuring she needed all the help she could get to wake up. Then she sat down at her dinette table to wait for the coffee to drip.
She was no closer to solving her problem than she was last night, she thought gloomily. Tyler would drive her crazy standing guard over her every minute of the day. Yet when she thought about the men she’d kissed without one single tinkle, she had to admit that what Tyler’s kiss did to her last night signified a vital chemistry between them.
Of course, she wasn’t sure if Tyler had felt the same thing. He’d seemed to enjoy the kiss, but as usual it was hard to tell how it had affected him. Tyler didn’t give much of his feelings away, which was another stumbling block to a successful relationship.
Realizing that the coffee had stopped dripping, Megan got up to pour herself a cup. She could be opening herself up to a lot of trouble by falling in love with Tyler Jackson. If she hadn’t already.
Settling back on the chair with the coffee, Megan faced the problem squarely. He’d made her hear bells. No one had ever done that before. She hadn’t really believed in the bells until now. She’d simply used it as an excuse not to get involved. Up until now, she’d convinced herself she was better off living on her own.
Now, however, she couldn’t deny that what she felt for Tyler was vastly different from anything she’d ever experienced before. She was either in love with the guy, or well on the way. What was it about Tyler Jackson that had captured her heart so unexpectedly?
She thought about that as she slowly sipped her coffee. He was a strong man, full of courage and confidence. She had always admired that in a man. He was caring, concerned about her. Maybe a little too much at times, but he meant well. It was infinitely better than someone who couldn’t care less what she did or how she felt.
He was an honest man, and although he didn’t say too much about personal things, she had the feeling that when he did, she could trust him to mean it.
That’s what it was, she realized suddenly. Trust. He was the first man she’d met whom she felt instinctively that she could trust. Not only with her safety and wellbeing, but also with her heart. To her, that was everything.
Somehow she knew that he wouldn’t have kissed her last night if he hadn’t really cared for her. Tyler Jackson wasn’t the kind of man to toy with a woman’s affections. He’d play it straight down the line. Just one more good reason why she could love him.
Somehow, she had to try to make this work. Now that she’d finally found a man who could ring bells for her, she couldn’t let him go without at least giving it a shot.
She put down her coffee cup, frowning in concentration. Maybe, if they had enough time together, she could find a way to prove to him that she was capable of taking care of herself. That he didn’t need to worry about her all the time.
She still had several days before she was due back at work. She’d just have to take as much opportunity as she could to show him how independent and self-sufficient she really was.
He had to learn that he didn’t have to be responsible for every second of her life. Maybe then, he’d be willing to give her the space she needed. Because unless he did, she couldn’t see a happy ending for them.
Tyler, meanwhile, was having his own problem dealing with what had happened. Having slept off the effects of the large meal he’d consumed, he’d woken up to the memory of Megan’s warm, pliant mouth eagerly returning his kiss. His body warmed at the thought of it. Until he remembered that she’d broken it off rather abruptly, as if she’d had second thoughts about kissing him.
Well, she needn’t worry, he assured himself as he stood under the shower sluicing the cobwebs of sleep away. He’d had second thoughts, too. Big-time second thoughts.
He was beginning to enjoy Megan’s company just a little too much. It was easy to get carried away on a warm, summer night in the intimate darkness of a car. Too easy.
It wasn’t as if he hadn’t enjoyed it. That was the whole problem. He’d enjoyed it too much. Much more of that and he’d be forgetting why he needed to keep her at arm’s length.
If he needed a complication in his life, which he didn’t, he’d pick a woman who had enough sense to listen to him, which she hadn’t. He’d find someone who would understand his concerns, which she wouldn’t, and who could accept his advice, which she couldn’t. In other words, if he was in the slightest bit interested in a relationship, which he wasn’t, it would be with anyone other than Megan Summers.
She was too independent, too dam stubborn to pay attention to him, when he knew perfectly well what he was talking about. He just couldn’t live in constant fear of what might happen to the woman he loved. His marriage had failed for that very reason. There was no way on this earth he could go through all that again. No way.
Tyler slapped the soap between his palms so hard it shot out of his grasp and sailed over the shower curtain. Cursing, he stuck a wet foot on the floor outside to retrieve the slippery devil. Already in a foul mood, it didn’t help matters when his foot skidded from under him. He struggled to keep his balance by flailing his arms and banged his elbow painfully against the wall.
This, he decided bitterly, was not a good start to the day. It was all Megan’s fault, of course. If she hadn’t looked at him with that tantalizing smile in the car last night, he wouldn’t have given in to the urge to kiss her.
The fact that it wasn’t the first time he’d felt that particular urge did nothing to improve his temper. He had sensed that she was trouble that first day when she’d scrambled off his stomach, leaving him feeling as if he’d been zapped by a live wire.
He should have dumped her onto the first officer within reach, instead of falling for that lost and helpless act. There was nothing helpless about Megan Summers. Stubborn and reckless, maybe. But helpless? Not on your life. The problem was, she also thought she was invincible. She refused to listen to reason, and she was going to get hurt, maybe worse. He’d seen it happen too often. He wasn’t going to hang around long enough to see it happen to her.
Rubbing his sore elbow, he stepped out of the shower and reached for the towel. He couldn’t just walk away from her while she still needed him, of course. But just as soon as her arm was healed and she could do up her bra again... He closed his eyes, shutting out the memory of her smooth, silky back beneath his fingers.
Just as soon as her arm was healed, he amended, he’d be off the hook. His obligation to her would be ended. He could leave with a clear conscience.
As for the kiss, he would simply forget it ever happened. If she had any sense she would forget it, too. If not, he would just have too explain to her, as nicely as he possibly could, that he was just not interested in anything permanent. Knowing Megan, she wouldn’t waste time chasing after a lost cause. For if there were ever two people who were totally wrong for each other, it was he and Megan Summers.
Having settled that, he rubbed furiously at his hair with the towel, trying not to think about how she felt in his arms, her exotic fragrance tantalizing his senses and her lips driving him wild.
Chapter Seven
Megan waited with nervous anticipation for Tyler to arrive later that morning. It was Sunday, she told herself, so he was bound to sleep in later.
As the hours passed, however, she began to worry that he wasn’t coming back. The kiss last night must have frightened him off, she thought ruefully. Maybe she’d been wrong after all, about the way he felt about her. She might never get the chance to know if things could have worked out between them.
She read the entire Sunday paper, a feat in itself, considering she absorbed very little of it. Staring at a page of advertisements, she wondered what she would do if Tyler had decided to cut short his self-imposed vigil over her.
She’d miss his help with the housework, of course, though she’d pretty much convinced herself that she could manage on her own now. Her arm still ached now and again, but it didn’t hurt nearly as much as it had at first.
She’d managed to wrap it herself, fairly securely. She’d even managed to do up her bra, anchoring one end with the injured hand while she fastened it with the other. As for the cooking, considering the problems Tyler had with it, she’d be better off doing it herself.
None of these things really mattered, however, compared to how she would miss him emotionally if he’d decided he didn’t want to see her again. It was something she really didn’t want to think about.
By the middle of the morning her stomach was complaining so much she decided to eat. She scrambled a couple of eggs and ate them with a toasted English muffin. She had to admit they tasted rather bland after Tyler’s imaginative experiments with her spice rack.
She had just rinsed the dishes and stacked them in the dishwasher when he finally arrived, shortly before noon.
“Where’s your sling?” he asked her, the minute she’d closed the door behind him.
Relieved at the sight of him, and more happy than she had any right to be, it was on the tip of her tongue to tell him she didn’t need it any more. But then that would be defeating her purpose, if she hoped to have him around long enough to work things out with him.
She went back to her bedroom to get it, leaving him in the kitchen to make the coffee. When she came back, he was peering in the fridge.
“What do you want for breakfast?” he asked her, holding up a package of bacon. “I could make French toast again?”
She almost shuddered. She envisioned lumps of soggy bread falling off her fork. Reluctant to tell him she’d already eaten breakfast she said casually, “I’ll have cereal and fruit. You go ahead and cook what you want.”
She was gratified to see him put the bacon back with a sigh of resignation. “I guess cereal and fruit will do fine.”
She grinned at him. “I’m proud of you. I’ll get the cereal.”
“I’ll get the cereal.” He pushed her down in a chair. “You stay there.”
It was going to be a little tough proving her independence when she wasn’t supposed to be using her arm, she thought ruefully, as she watched him fill the cereal bowls. She’d find a way to do it, somehow. In the meantime, she would deal with his overbearing attitude and try not to let it get to her.
He seemed withdrawn while they ate, as if he had something heavy on his mind. She challenged him to a Trivial Pursuit game that afternoon, hoping to recapture the warm coziness they had shared coming home from her mother’s place the night before.
Although he seemed to enjoy the game, she could still feel the invisible wall he kept between them. He was just being cautious, she told herself. She had to let him take things at his own pace. He’d relax again, once he knew she wasn’t going to pressure him.
There were times over the next three days when she almost lost that conviction. Tyler seemed even more ill-at-ease than usual, and his temper was definitely frayed at the edges. Once or twice he barked commands at her and she had a hard time biting back a scathing comment.
Something seemed to be bothering him, and Megan knew he was deliberately keeping his distance. It was a marked change from the night they’d come back from her mother’s, and she couldn’t imagine what had caused it
Apparently he regretted the kiss, since he’d made no effort to kiss her again, much to her disappointment. In fact, he’d hinted more than once that the only reason he was sticking around was to make sure her arm healed properly.
Miserably, Megan had to acknowledge that they were back to square one. Only things were different now. She was in love with Tyler Jackson, and in spite of his distant attitude, she was pretty sure he cared for her, too.
Once or twice she’d caught him watching her with a strange brooding expression. He got nervous every time she got too close to him, and never once asked her how she’d been managing to do up her bra all by herself. It was as if he were holding himself in, afraid to let out what he was really feeling.
She could feel the tension building between them and didn’t know what to do about it It was a relief to have an excuse to go out on Thursday, the day of her appointment at the doctor’s office. Tyler was edgy all the way there, barely talking to her as he drove through the heavy traffic.
When he sat down with her in the waiting room he immediately picked up a sports magazine and began idly flipping through the pages.
“You don’t have to come in with me this time,” Megan told him, when her name was finally called.
To her intense dismay, he merely nodded, his gaze glued to the magazine. “All right. I’ll wait out here.”
She felt abandoned as she followed the nurse to the cubicle. It wasn’t a feeling she was familiar with, and it bothered her a great deal. She had always done things on her own, without a second thought. Why this should be any different she couldn’t imagine.
Dr. Hartford’s cheery smile greeted her when he swept into the cubicle in a flurry of white coat, stethoscope and clipboard. “Ah, how’s the arm? Better I hope?”
“Much better, thanks.”
“Still aching?”
“Not any more.”
“Still taking the medication?”
She shook her head. “Not for the last three days.”
“Good. Sounds as if we are on the mend. Let’s take a look.”
He undid the sling which Tyler had meticulously tied that morning, and dropped it on the bed. “I don’t think we’ll need that anymore.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Megan said, with a sigh of relief. She watched anxiously as the doctor unwound the bandage, then probed up and down her arm with gentle fingers.
“Hurt here? Here? Here?”
She shook her head.
“Grasp my hand as if you were about to shake it.”
She did as he asked, and winced as a spasm of pain zinged up her arm.
“Ah, that hurt.”
“A little,” she admitted.
“Well, I’m afraid you’re going to get the odd spasm or two for some time until the muscle builds itself up again. The only way it’s going to do that, of course, is if you use it. Start gradually, and don’t put too much pressure on it at first. One small step at a time, that’s the secret. If you go too fast you could hurt it again.”
“But I can use it again?” Megan asked eagerly.
The doctor smiled. “As long as you’re careful with it and it doesn’t give you too much pain. If it starts aching again you’ll have to rest it for a while. I’d keep it wrapped for another week, just in case. I’ll have the nurse give you a fresh ban
dage. If you have any problem give me a call. Otherwise, you’re all set.”
Megan thanked him, and he disappeared with a brief wave of his hand. While she waited for the nurse, Megan gave some thought as to what she would tell Tyler.
Once he knew that she could use the arm again, he would no longer have an excuse to stay around. He would go back to being a cop and she would go back to being a travel agent and it was unlikely she would ever see him again, unless she happened to get mugged again.
The ache in her stomach almost doubled her over. She couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t just let him walk out of her life without making some kind of effort to give their relationship a chance.
She thought back to that night he kissed her. Things had changed after that. She frowned, going over the whole scene in the car. Of course! She’d pulled away from him when she’d heard the bells. He probably thought she was offended by his kiss and was afraid he’d try something again.
She’d been waiting all this time for him to make the first move, while he was apparently under the impression that she was turned off by him. She had to set things straight right away.
No wait. She couldn’t just go barging out there and declare that she was in love with him. What if she’d read him wrong after all? She was taking all this for granted. Not only would she feel like a prize fool if she was wrong, she’d end up embarrassing them both. It would put Tyler in the very awkward position of having to explain that she was mistaken about his feelings.
Megan huffed out her breath in frustration. What she really needed was more time. If only she had one more week, she could perhaps break through his defenses if she really tried. Show him in subtle ways that she cared for him, without actually hitting him on the head with it. That way, she could find out how he really felt about her.
If she was wrong about him, she’d have to accept it and get on with her life. At least then she wouldn’t spend the rest of it wondering if things could have worked out if she’d only given them a chance. On the other hand, if he really did care for her, and was only holding back because he thought she didn’t feel the same way, then she had to do something about it.
The Marriage Beat Page 10