She’d had her own doubts at first, but at least she was reasonably sure she could make things work between them. There had been times that day when it seemed as if Tyler agreed with her. But then something always seemed to get in the way, bringing the doubts rushing back again.
It didn’t help that she felt guilty for keeping up the pretense of being unable to use her arm, she thought, as she got ready for bed. If there was to be real trust between them, there should be no lies, no matter how well intentioned they were.
Lying in her bed, staring at the darkened ceiling, she decided she would have to tell him. Tomorrow, just as soon as he arrived at the apartment. She would tell him that her arm felt so much better that she had started using it again. Then it would be his decision whether or not he went on seeing her, now that she no longer needed him to care for her.
She couldn’t bring herself to tell him that the doctor had told her to use her arm yesterday. That would mean explaining why she’d chosen not to tell him that. She didn’t want to put him in the awkward position of having to explain why he couldn’t love her. It would be better for both of them if he never knew how she really felt about him.
Megan groaned and rolled over onto her side. No one had told her that being in love could be so complicated. She’d always imagined that one day she’d meet the man of her dreams, they’d fall in love and get married, have children and live happily ever after.
Never once in that scenario did she ever imagine that the man of her dreams wouldn’t love her back. That possibility just hadn’t occurred to her.
She dashed a tear away with an impatient hand. She was being melodramatic and immature. She didn’t know that Tyler couldn’t love her, she was just assuming things. Just because he hadn’t dropped to his knees and begged her to marry him didn’t mean he didn’t care for her.
Men like Tyler were cautious. He’d been hurt by the failure of his first marriage and wasn’t going to rush into anything this time. She couldn’t blame him for that. Her problem was that she was too impatient. She wanted everything now. Whereas Tyler needed time.
She sighed into the quiet darkness of her bedroom. She’d be willing to give him all the time in the world as long as she knew there was hope. If only he’d say something that she could hang on to. Then again, the look in his eyes when he’d kissed her had been everything she could have wanted.
She just had to be patient, she told herself, and not expect too much too soon. Once Tyler knew she could fend for herself again, she’d finally know where they stood. And if it turned out that she’d been wrong about his feelings for her, then she’d have to deal with it and get on with her life without him.
She woke up suddenly, surprised to find the night had flown and sunlight was once more warming the room. As always, things seemed so much better in daylight.
She would tell Tyler about her arm, she decided, and then she would invite him to stay for dinner. She would cook him a pot roast, since he’d seemed to enjoy it so much at her mother’s house. After the simple meals they’d shared lately, he’d probably appreciate it.
She scribbled down a list of things she’d need. She’d have plenty of time to go to the store, she decided, and be back before Tyler arrived. She could have most of the meal prepared by then. She might even have time to bake a lemon meringue pie before he got there, as a special surprise.
Excited about her plan, she drove to the supermarket and shopped for what she needed. It seemed strange to be out on her own again. She missed being with Tyler. She missed his dry comments and sarcastic humor. She missed the sheer excitement of anticipating what he was thinking, and the thrill of trying to read what might be behind his teasing remarks.
She paid for the groceries, and followed the clerk out to the car, where he loaded the heavy sacks into the car for her. Except for the occasional spasm, her arm had held up just fine. She should be able to carry the groceries in without any problem, she thought, as she pulled into her parking space.
The warm summer wind tugged at her hair when she walked around to the trunk and opened it. There were more clouds in the sky today, and the sun had lost the fierce heat of yesterday. The summer would soon be over, Megan thought, as she lifted a sack out of the car. Then it would be back to the rain.
Deep in thought about the coming fall, she failed to see Tyler until he stepped in front of her.
She jerked to a stop, rattling the jars in the sack she carried. “Oh, Tyler! I didn’t see you. You’re early. I wasn’t expecting you until noon.”
“So I noticed.” He scowled at the sack in her arms. “I see your arm’s all better.”
“Yes, I—”
“Just when were you figuring on telling me?”
She felt her face growing warm. “I was going to tell you when you got here. It felt so much better I started using it again. So I decided to cook you a special dinner tonight and I needed things from the store....”
Her voice trailed off as he brushed past her and hauled out the other two sacks. “And you couldn’t wait for me to get here,” he said bitterly, as he strode past her with the sacks in his arms.
She followed him up the stairs, her heart thumping against her ribs. She should have waited, she thought belatedly. She’d been so excited about surprising him she hadn’t thought about how he’d feel. It must seem as if she couldn’t wait to get rid of him so that she could be out on her own again.
She was still trying to think of the right words to say when she reached the door. It stood ajar, and Tyler had disappeared inside. She could hear him in the kitchen as she crossed the living room.
He was unloading the sacks onto the kitchen counter when she walked in. “I’m sorry, Tyler,” she said, as she set her sack on the counter. “I just didn’t think. I was hoping to surprise you.”
“You surprised me all right.” He slapped a package of frozen vegetables on the counter. “I’ve spent the last nine days waiting on you hand and foot so you wouldn’t have to use that arm, and the minute my back is turned you’re out there doing your best to mess it up again.”
She felt terrible. She couldn’t tell him the truth about her arm without admitting why she’d lied to him, which certainly wouldn’t help matters any, judging by the look of fury on his face. “My arm does feel a lot better,” she said cautiously, “and I was careful with it.”
“careful?” He waved an angry hand in the air. “You call that careful to drive all the way to the grocery store with an injured arm? What if you’d had to swerve to avoid something? How good do you think you’d do with one hand?”
“Tyler, it’s only a few blocks.”
“I don’t care if it’s only a few feet. It was taking a chance you didn’t need to take. What about your arm? How do you know what damage you might have done by carrying a weight like that before the muscle is properly healed? How do you think I’d feel if you messed it up for good? I’d have that on my conscience. You might at least have warned me you were planning on doing something that reckless.”
“Reckless!” Stung by his tone, she glared at him. “For heaven’s sake, Tyler, it wasn’t that far. You’re worrying over nothing.”
He nodded, his mouth drawn tight with resentment. “Nothing. Well, I’ve heard that before.”
“I’m sure you have. You seem to have a habit of anticipating trouble. You have to start trusting people to think for themselves now and again. I’m perfectly capable of judging my limitations.”
“Is that right? Is that why you sneaked out behind my back? To test your limitations without me there to stop you?”
Incensed enough to retaliate, Megan thrust her chin in the air. “If you weren’t so dam overprotective, hovering over me all the time like an anxious new mother, I wouldn’t have to sneak out behind your back.”
His eyes turned to steel as he glared at her. “Well, if that’s how you feel, that can be easily remedied. From now on, sweetheart, you’re on your own. Don’t come crying to me if your arm gives out on you and you can�
��t use it any more.”
“You’d be the last person I’d go to.”
“Fine.”
“Fine, then.”
He stared at her for a moment longer, then cursed under his breath and marched across the kitchen to the door.
Her anger evaporated as fast as it had arisen. “Where are you going?” she demanded, beginning to panic now that he was leaving.
He paused in the doorway, hesitated, then turned around to face her. His anger seemed to have vanished as well, leaving a weary, resigned look on his face that frightened her far more than his fury. “I’m going back to work,” he said quietly. “I have a feeling I’ve been away from it far too long. You know where to find me if you need me.”
She nodded, feeling a sick ache inside that she knew was not going to go away. “I’m sorry, Tyler.”
“Yeah,” he said bitterly. “So am I.”
She waited until she heard the door close, before sinking down at the dinette table and burying her head in her arms for a good cry.
Chapter Nine
Megan spent the next two days moping around the apartment, telling herself what a lucky escape she’d had. Who needed an overgrown nursemaid, anyway? She’d always managed perfectly well on her own, and she could go on taking care of herself.
She certainly didn’t need a man around to tell her how to live her life, she told herself. She even managed to convince herself she meant it.
She started a new jigsaw puzzle and scrapped it before she’d even got all the outside pieces in place. She called her mother twice, and hung up before she had a chance to answer. She cooked the pot roast and barely touched it, finally deciding to wrap it and put it in the freezer.
By the end of the second day she was tired of hoping the phone would ring, jumping out of her skin when it did, then crashing with disappointment when it wasn’t Tyler.
She was tired of staring at the phone, fighting the urge to call him and ask him to come over. Not that it would do any good anyway. He’d never see her as a responsible adult, capable of making smart decisions and sensible choices. He’d always treat her as a reckless, ignorant child, which was an insult to her intelligence. She simply couldn’t live with that.
The best thing she could do, she told her reflection that night, was to go on with her life and forget she’d ever met Tyler Jackson. They would both be better off.
Getting back to work was a great relief to Tyler. It helped keep his mind off his problems. He didn’t want to think about Megan’s smile, or her warm, green eyes sparkling at him in the reflection of sun-kissed waters.
He didn’t want to remember her lithe body slithering over his shoulder onto the mat, or hurtling into his arms at the side of the rushing falls.
He didn’t want to envision the wind in her hair as she stood at the rail of the stern-wheeler, and he didn’t want to feel the memory of her lips eagerly returning his kiss. Most of all, he didn’t want to listen to poetic terms repeating over and over in his mind.
He didn’t want to, but he kept doing it anyway. No matter how hard he stared at the reports, no matter how much he concentrated at the wheel of the squad car, no matter how determined he was to fall right to sleep at night, the memory of her laughter, and the soft touch of her hand kept intruding into his thoughts until he thought he would go out of his mind.
Halfway through the second night, when he found it impossible to go back to sleep, he went to the bathroom and confronted his image in the mirror.
He had to get a hold of himself. He had to write the whole thing off to experience. She wasn’t going to listen to anything he said, no matter how right he was. She had a mind of her own, just like Katy. He would have the same problems he had before, and he couldn’t handle them then.
The best thing he could do for both of them was to go on with his life and forget he’d ever met Megan Summers. They would both be better off.
Megan woke up the next morning full of good intentions. She called the travel office and told them she would be back to work the next day. Her suits were ready to pick up at the cleaners, her library books were due back, and her hair badly needed a trim. She could take care of everything that day, she decided, and go back to work with a clean page in her calendar.
She climbed into her car, relieved to have something more constructive to do than sitting around waiting for a phone call that would never happen. The sooner she got on with her life the better, she told herself as she drove to the library.
She was due to go to Japan next month, and she had that to look forward to. With the kind of job she had, it wouldn’t do to get too involved with anyone, anyway. As long as she was on her own, she was free to take advantage of the opportunities that came up.
It would be good to get back to work, she thought, as she pulled up in front of the library. She enjoyed her job, and she missed everyone at the agency.
Beginning to feel just a shade better, she climbed out of the car and reached in for her books. As she straightened again, she glanced across the street and nearly dropped them. A man hovered in the doorway of the appliance repair shop. A man who looked frighteningly familiar.
Megan narrowed her eyes, just to make sure. About five-eight or nine, skinny, with long, dark, straggly hair. He was still dressed in the jeans and dark jacket he’d worn two weeks ago. There was no doubt in her mind. She was staring straight at the man who had stolen her purse.
Her first instinct was to rush right over there and demand that he give back her purse. Fortunately she had enough sense to realize the futility of that
The next thought that occurred to her was that he was probably waiting for another unlucky victim to come by with a purse swinging from her shoulder. In which case, she should attempt to warn someone.
The police, of course. She should call the police.
Now that she had a legitimate excuse to call Tyler, she was strangely reluctant to do it. She didn’t want him to think she was running after him or anything.
Torn with indecision, she watched the man in the doorway for another moment or two. He kept sticking out his head to look down the street.
She had to get out of his sight, she told herself, tossing her books back in the car. He could easily recognize her, and take off, and she’d lose him again. Besides, she couldn’t just ignore him and let him snatch someone else’s purse.
Having made up her mind, she pushed her way through the doors of the library and headed for the phone.
She half hoped that Tyler wouldn’t be there when she called. That way the decision would be made for her. When she asked for him, however, after a moment’s pause, his deep, husky voice came on the line.
“Jackson here. What can I do for you?”
Her knees weakened at the sound, but she resolutely lifted her chin. “This is Megan. I’m at the library and I’ve just seen my mugger.”
There was the barest of pauses, then Tyler asked crisply, “Where is he?”
“He’s across the street, in a doorway.” Her voice had a slight tremble in it, despite her best efforts to keep it steady. “I think he’s waiting to mug someone else.”
“You’re sure it’s him?”
“I’m positive. I told you I’d know him right away if I saw him again.”
“Right” Another small pause. “I’m coming out there.”
Her pulse leaped. “All right.”
“I want you to stay in the library, Megan. Do not go out there. Do not attempt to speak to him. Just stay out of sight. Is that clear?”
Now he sounded like a cop, she thought wryly. “I understand.”
“Do what I say, Megan. Please.”
That had sounded a little more personal and her heartbeat quickened. “I will, Tyler, just hurry, please. I don’t want him to get away this time.”
“I’m on my way.”
The line went dead and she hung up the phone with a shaking hand. What if the man had a gun? What if Tyler got shot? It would be her fault. How could she live with that, knowing
she was responsible, no matter how indirectly?
Her stomach churning, she peered through the glass door at the appliance store. He was still there. She almost hoped he would leave before Tyler got there, then scolded herself for being a coward.
Tyler wouldn’t want him to leave. That was his job, apprehending criminals. No matter how dangerous. He was used to dealing with scum like that.
She swallowed, her gaze fixed intently on the purse snatcher. She wished now she hadn’t called Tyler. She should have just ignored the man and forgot she saw him. But then that would be shirking her duty as a responsible citizen. She couldn’t ignore what was right just because Tyler might get hurt.
She straightened up with a little gasp. The man had stepped out into the street, and was looking up and down as if expecting someone.
Megan’s mouth went dry. What if he’d seen her call and had guessed she’d called the police? Maybe he was even now waiting for Tyler, ready to shoot him on sight. No, wait, he’d stepped back into the doorway.
Megan barely had a moment to catch her breath when the man stepped out again and began walking rapidly away from the store. With a little cry of dismay, she bounded out of the library.
A quick glance down the street told her that Tyler still hadn’t arrived. The mugger was leaving. He was going to get clean away.
Megan ground her teeth. This animal was marching off, free as a bird to snatch someone else’s purse and put them through the misery she’d had. The loss of her money, the hassle to get new credit cards, new driver’s license, new social security card and new keys had taken up all her spare time for days. Apart from anything else, the loss of her precious photos had really upset her. They were irreplaceable.
Megan shot one last hopeful look down the street. Still no Tyler. She looked in the other direction. The mugger was already two blocks away. If she didn’t do something, she’d lose him. Without giving herself time to change her mind, she set off at a quick pace after him.
The Marriage Beat Page 13