- These things you’re saying are now history, a museum exhibit – Donna tried to alleviate her increasing fear by increasing her impudence. – You’re telling me that I’m cheating on you. How, and with whom?
- You know very well that you’re cheating on me. Don’t play innocent and don’t make a fool out of me.
- You’re the one making a fool of yourself, Victor – Donna was yelling, but she didn’t look him in the eyes. Instead, her look was loitering about the room.
- Please, leave. You’ll be late for your meeting. Your friends will be worried if you don’t show up.
- I don’t care. Have I lost the right to an answer? I’ve asked you a minute ago: who am I cheating on you with?
- OK, I’ll tell you. Actually, I’ll show you. While we’re at it, you can take your overnight bag so that you can spend the night at your lover’s. Now, the question is whether I want you back under my roof after everything that has happened.
- I’ve never heard so many lies in such short time – Donna said, but more to herself.
Victor stood up, took the car keys and proclaimed: - I’m driving!
Then he swiftly went down the stairs while she walked behind him, quite unsteadily.
They got to Central Park in his Mercedes, but Victor deliberately didn’t want to drive the same route to Hearst as Donna; he chose a detour. He did it so that Donna would longer hope that this is only a calculated sham of his. While they were on the road, it seemed that she still firmly believed that they would be back on Fifth Avenue in a couple of minutes and that she’d gravely reprimand him for today’s tomfoolery.
However, as soon as they headed towards south, she couldn’t hide her unrest: it grew in her like lava, threatening to scorch her completely. She changed her position every few seconds, moving from one side to the other as if she was sitting on an anthill. Then she lifted and lowered the mirror in front of the passenger seat, pretending to check her make-up. Then she began searching for a song she liked on the radio, frantically searching through cassettes and CDs at the same time… Meanwhile, Victor kept silent, knowing that she’ll eventually talk, that she wouldn’t be able to control herself without spilling the beans. It finally happened when they left town:
- How long is this farce going to last? – she asked, raising her voice.
- Not long! – Victor responded. – Not for long! I’ve decided ages ago to end this entire charade today.
- You’ve said it well: a charade! Whatever you’re planning to do, you’ve already done; you’ve ruined my whole day and the appointment I had – she continued, trying to remain convincing.
Victor’s insides were boiling. He sarcastically said:
- The appointment you had? With whom?
- I already told you. With my friends.
- For God’s sakes, Donna, don’t play dumb now that everything is out in the open.
Donna now flinched as if pin-pricked, but because of something entirely different: this was the first time after a long period that Victor called her by her name. She immediately realized that the matter was serious and that her name wasn’t said in vain. She turned to him and said:
- Victor, please, stop the car. I’d like to know where we are going and why.
Victor stopped the car at the next parking lot and put his hands on the wheel while his heart was wildly beating. He knew that this was the moment to tell her everything he was meaning to say.
- I’m driving you to Hearst! – he said, barely abstaining himself from screaming.
- To Hearst?! – she repeated with a lump in her throat. – Why Hearst?
- Actually, to a house in Hearst. A white, two-story house with a big glass wall. It’s surrounded by a green lawn and pinewood trees. That’s where you’ve been seeing a certain gentleman lately, every Monday and Thursday, and cuckolded me.
She sighed in despair and opened the car window. She felt as if a heavy rock was on her chest, threatening to crush her like an ant. Her lower lip was visibly trembling, and a flood was gathering in her eyes.
- You’ve been stalking me? – she said flatly. It was more of a claim than a question.
- You can call it whatever you like. All I wanted to know was the identity of the man who suddenly had more rights than me, your lawful husband. Who is it, Donna?
- You used to call me Sugar!
- And you used to call me Vic.
She just nodded her head in agreement. He asked her again:
- Who is he, Donna?
She couldn’t retain her tears anymore. Her face was getting paler by the second, and a terrible, painful spasm overwhelmed her body. She took this as a personal defeat. And that defeat contained more bitterness than an ordinary woman could ever handle.
- Don’t torture me, Victor. I beg you – she stuttered, sobbing inconsolably.
He completely ignored her plea. He was relentlessly putting together the pieces of the fatal mosaic.
- What did Donald Cooper give you that I didn’t? What did you find in him that you didn’t see in me? What?
Although her shock was devastating, hard and unbearable, in his questions she saw all the irony, scorn and arrogance of her words she had said to him a few months ago when she had found out that he was cheating on her with Tatum Longoria. That undisputable similarity was too much for her. She felt as if someone ran a knife through her heart.
- I don’t know, Victor! I simply don’t know! – she defended herself.
- Do you only feel affection towards him, or do you already love him? Or you just wanted to play the part of the romantic renegade?
- It was something else! Something else! – she said, still in tears.
- What? – he looked at her with eyes wide open.
- I was lonely… Abandoned… Forgotten… I thought that I was in love… I imagined that I was loved…
- My dear, I never ever imagine things. I’m either loved, or I’m not. And it seems to me that I’m not. Your heart now belongs to Donald Cooper.
Her crying was becoming stronger and louder. She was sobbing, her whole body was shaking, and she occasionally glanced at Victor with a pleading look.
- Don’t kill me, don’t make me leave, please.
- I’m not making you do anything. I just want to know where I stand. If you want a divorce, you’ll get it! If you want me to move out, I’ll do it tomorrow! If you and Donald Cooper have decided to live together, I won’t stop you. Just remember one thing: our kids shouldn’t suffer because of us.
When he mentioned the children, Donna began sobbing even louder, followed by a fierce tremor and uncontrolled head-flinching.
- Please, Victor, don’t make me leave my kids… You’ll kill me…
- As I said, I’m not making you to do anything. I just want to know what you’re planning to do next.
Victor’s mildly promising last sentence made her breathe evenly again. Although her body was still in a sort of spasm, she could now state her intentions more easily and reveal her hand. She had no secret plans, she had nothing that could hurt Victor more. She’ll talk to him openly and try to convince him of the sincerity and honesty of her thoughts. She’ll tell him everything, from beginning to end!
- Can you trust me? – she suddenly asked him.
- Hardly.
- Victor, please, put aside your rightful anger for a moment, forget the things I’ve done to you and pay attention to what I’m about to tell you: believe me, I wanted to break it off today. That’s why I was so nervous and rude. Please, listen to me… I’ve been thinking all week about what to say to Donald Cooper. That man was too cunning for me, too much of a liar for my concept of truth. He did provide comfort initially, helping me to find my way in this disastrous labyrinth, but it was all a calculation. An awful calculation. When I got to know him completely, I realized that this was a dead-end relationship, only a moment of relaxing, forgetting and escaping. It was too late when I saw that, but soon enough to realize that I can go through my problems, torments and pain o
nly with your help, and not with the assistance of some guy named Donald Cooper. I like that saying: you don’t get to know a person until you start confiding in them. His character isn’t much better that the character of Tatum Longoria: Irealized just now how awful you must have felt when she started blackmailing you. I experienced the same thing, maybe even more drastically. When I think about everything, I’m terribly ashamed of my actions. I regret them, I detest them, you don’t know how sorry I am. I was reckless! Stupid! Foolish! Totally blind! I see just now that it’s much harder to defend myself than to attack the other person. It’s easier to judge and scorn, than to give the right explanation. Why did I do it? I may never know the answer. But, at least I know what I’m going to do now.
She took Victor’s cell phone and typed a familiar number – the number of Donald Cooper’s residence in Hearst. When he picked up the phone, she said in a decisive voice:
- It’s Donna!
- For God’s sakes, where have you been? I’ve waited more than an hour for you.
- You’re waiting in vain.
- Why?
- Because I’m not coming.
- And when are you going to come? Tonight? Tomorrow? On Monday?
- Not tonight! Not tomorrow! Not even on Monday! I’ll never come again!
- What about your job?
- I won’t come to work, either. I quit. I’ve completed all the tasks I was given last week. I emptied my drawers and left the keys to my desk by the secretary’s phone. One more thing: don’t call me at home. Not tonight! Not tomorrow! Not ever! Forget I ever existed!
- What about the photos?
- What photos?
- The two of us embracing in front of the house in Hearst. I’ll send them to your husband so that he realizes what kind of a wife he has.
- I’ll tell him myself what kind of a wife I am. Feel free to send him the photos: it will only confirm the things I’ve already told him about you – she concluded in a decisive voice. Then she hung up and turned to Victor: - Victor, please, drive me home. And forgive me for everything. You said yourself once that all lies seek forgiveness, didn’t you?
Without waiting for his reaction, she gently kissed him on the cheek and rested her head on his shoulder, adding: - Now everything is in your hands! You can throw me out of the house! You can file for divorce! You can forgive me as I’ve forgiven you! You can kill me! But, whatever you do, you’ll never kill my love. I love you! It’s only now that I realize I can’t imagine my life without you, Victor.
* * *
The truth can sometimes be almost unreal and inconceivable! On the border of dreams and reality! On the verge of possible and impossible!
That’s what Donna and Victor could exclaim that Sunday morning when they saw Janice and another woman, perfectly dressed and dimple-cheeked, patiently waiting for their hosts to let them into their house. Janice had excitedly called the day before, on Saturday, to announce her coming to New York with a friend of hers. But, she neither said why she was coming nor for how long she was going to stay. She didn’t even reveal her friend’s identity. She just said convincingly and mysteriously: “It’s a small surprise.”
However, after everything they had been through in the last few months, and especially since last Thursday, when they were sitting in car for two hours driving towards Hearst, neither Donna nor Victor were in the mood for surprises: he just dreamed of defusing the situation at home, while she tried to avoid remembering Donald Cooper, the man that almost made her an emotional wreck. They really weren’t in the mood for another surprise, but only for complete peace of mind.
However, Janice didn't know anything about the terrible ordeal that both of them were going through. Now, this female surprise of hers was standing in front of the house on Fifth Avenue; Donna and Victor didn't recognize her at first.
- So, what do you say? – Janice asked, pointing at the person standing behind her back. – Do you recognize your old friend?
Their facial expression demonstrated complete lack of apprehension. They didn't want to say anything or to pose questions; they just smiled to buy some time. Victor did feel that he had seen those two dimples a long time ago, but he couldn't remember when and where. Donna was also certain that she had seen the stranger's smile before, but, like Victor, she couldn't specify the time and place. They didn't know how to behave. The stranger immediately saw their unease and stretched out her hand, saying:
- It's been almost twenty years. I know you're not really glad to see me. But, put up with me at least for some time. In any case, I don't want to obfuscate your happiness. Madeleine. Madeleine Trenton. Captain Seaborne’s wife!
Both Donna and Victor inadvertently recoiled, not being able to hide their surprise. However, their confusion was brief. Donna came to her senses and said:
- For the love of God, I’d never recognize you. Get in, what are you still doing outside?!
Then she approached Madeleine, embraced her and kissed her on the cheek. Victor did the same, thinking: this must be a mix-up, some terrible mix-up.
He was expecting a person who could only help him cope with all these awful events, in all those atrocities that came with marital conflicts. He was expecting anyone but Madeleine Trenton, his ex-girlfriend and the woman who had left him in the student condo twenty years ago like a snot-nosed brat, and went away with her Captain Seaborne.
- Come in – Victor said with a confused face and let them in. – Come in!
They took the stairs to the first floor and went to the living room after Janice and Madeleine left their jackets in the lobby. Donna served some biscuits and truffles, asking:
- Would you like something to eat or drink?
- We had brunch an hour ago so I guess we’re fine – Janice replied. – I’d like some tea. How about you, Medeleine?
- Yes, tea would be great!
- What kind? – Donna asked.
- Whichever you like – Janice answered, and Madeleine nodded her head.
Donna went to the kitchen, and the three of them were left alone. Victor was still under the impression of the sudden, unexpected encounter. Madeleine also seemed somewhat confused. Whenever she had the chance to discreetly glance at Victor, she used it. After all, he was the love of her youth.
The scene was really odd: there was a very attractive, well-kempt woman with lady-like manners, but somewhat confused. An equally handsome man was sitting opposite of her; he was clean-shaven, serious-looking, but somewhat lost. The silence that began when Donna went to the kitchen seemed uncomfortable and eternal to Victor. In order to put an end to it, he started talking to Madeleine.
- If someone had told me this morning that I’d see you today, I’d tell him he was crazy. You did threaten to come, but I thought it was nothing more than a joke.
- I called you a few times. I talked to Donna twice, but I never managed to hear from you. But, now I’m here and you have no idea how glad I am – she said, smiling gently, and then added: - I’m glad to see both of you. This isn’t just a phrase: I really am glad.
Now Janice joined the conversation: - Madeleine was telling me about your friendship during university. How interesting!
- Oh, well – Madeleine sighed wistfully – We have a lot of good and bad things behind us. However, there’s no use in living in memories. Let’s think about tomorrow.
At that moment, Donna returned to the room carrying a tray with tea and cups. She served all three of them; silver spoons clanked on porcelain saucers.
- Enjoy! – she said.
- We were talking about memories – Janice continued the conversation, lifting the cup with fragrant tea to her mouth. – And about the things that are ahead of us.
- What things? – Donna and Victor asked almost in unison.
- A wedding – Janice blurted out, and Madeleine nodded her head in agreement.
- A wedding?! – Donna and Victor retorted almost in unison again.
- Marcia and Peter have decided to get married – Madele
ine said.
- Who’s Peter? – Victor asked.
- My son – Madeleine joyfully replied.
- The mothers have given their blessings, but what about the fathers? – Donna asked.
- Paul is ecstatic – Janice remarked.
- What about Andrew? Captain Seaborne? – Victor asked.
- He’d be happy too, I know he would. But he’s been gone for ten years – Madeleine said, now teary-eyed and in a sad voice. – He died from pulmonary embolism. Suddenly and unexpectedly.
Both Donna and Victor squeezed her hand, expressing their deepest condolences. They didn’t say a word: they remained completely silent.
They continued to talk until two o’clock, when they went to lunch at a nearby restaurant, including Sarah and Winston who slept until noon. Madeleine kept her eyes on Winston the whole time during lunch. When she saw him that day for the first time, she couldn’t hide her confusion: he was astoundingly alike her son Peter, not only in appearance, but also in behavior. They even had a similar tone of voice. Donna’s voice interrupted her stream of thoughts:
- What did you decide? Are you staying here, or will you return to Canada?
- I don’t know yet. I’m waiting for Marcia and Peter’s decision. I think I’ll leave the final decision to them. If they want to stay in Toronto, I’ll stay there too. If they want to go to USA, I’ll go with them. We bought a house in Tampa: they can be on their own whenever they like. I don’t want to be an obstacle to anyone. I don’t want to burden anyone.
After lunch, Sarah and Winston retreated to their rooms, and the four of them sat on the terrace. They were jauntily relaxing in the shade: apart from September, June is one of the most pleasant months in New York. The aroma of blooming trees is spreading everywhere, and there isn’t a single rainy cloud in the sky. Typical early summer.
The Lover from Fifth Avenue (The Greatest Love Stories) Page 9