by Hart, Eve R.
I didn’t understand her needs in the way that I thought about it and had desires to do that sort of thing. Or take it, in my case, I guess. I didn’t have this deep need to have someone dominate me and push me to the edge of my pain threshold.
That said, I got where she was coming from. I understood the reasons that she did things the way she did them.
I wasn’t saying that I didn’t like it. I would admit that I did. But I’d also say that if it was anyone other than Petra, I probably wouldn’t be into it even a little.
What did that say about the situation? A lot more than either of us were willing to put on the table. Probably more than she could handle ever. Which was alright with me.
She never let me touch her.
But tonight she did.
Hell, she let me kiss her and damn, that was something I wanted to take more of. Fuckin’ perfect lips, that was for sure.
I knew there were a lot of things about Petra that weren’t easy. I never wanted easy, though. If I had, I wouldn’t be here, that was for damn sure. But I honestly didn’t know how it would be when I first went to her.
That night flashed through my mind.
I’d been around the woman only twice and I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Neither time she seemed like she wanted to give me the time of day. If it hadn’t been for that tiny flash in her eyes and the fact that she seemed like she was trying hard to ignore me, I wouldn’t have thought she noticed me at all.
I was half out of my mind that night I drove over to her place. I’d gone there with the intention of talking to her to make sure she wasn’t hiding anything that could hurt the club. But that was just the lie I told myself. And we both sat there and spat some shit about needing to trust each other. Since when did trusting lead to her getting me bent over her desk? Or letting her spank my bare ass like I was some kind of bitch? But I fucking let it happen. And I even enjoyed it. Especially the part where she made me bury my face in that sweet pussy. Oh, and I’d never forget the anger in her eyes when I told her trust went both ways. Seeing her lips wrapped around my cock was something I’d never forget.
It was a good thing it was burned into my mind because it hadn’t happened since. I could have asked for her to get on her knees for me tonight. And I wouldn’t lie, I thought about it. Only, there was something I wanted more.
Lifting my head, I punched my pillow a few good times.
I needed to stop thinking about it. I was sure it was just a one night type of thing. The next time she called me to come, I’d be back to being bound and unable to touch her creamy skin.
If it was one thing I knew, it was that Petra didn’t give if she didn’t want to.
But why had she given me this much?
My hand ran through my beard as I thought about the answer.
Could it have been that she felt bad about what happened earlier in the day? About ignoring my ass when she saw me at the coffee shop? It wasn’t like I was throwing a friendly wave her way, either. But then again, I’d been going off of her reaction.
I wasn’t saying I was right.
I reached for my phone. Seeing it was nearly five in the morning didn’t stop me from pulling up her number.
“Why are you calling me?” she asked right away.
She sounded tired but not like I’d woken her up.
“Do you ever sleep?” I asked, letting myself get sidetracked from the reasons that I’d called.
“Rarely.”
“Why?”
“That is none of your concern,” she told me in a tone that bordered on agitated. “You’re calling me at this hour, I’m guessing you don’t sleep much either.”
She had a point. Though it wasn’t such a normal thing for me.
“I’m blaming you for that one,” I told her with a small, low chuckle.
“I don’t see why. I satisfied you.” Her tone was matter-of-fact about it, not like she was smug or braggin’.
“You did, Pet. You know that.”
“Then how can you not getting any sleep be my fault?”
“Because I can’t stop thinkin’ about you,” I told her honestly.
“Then that’s your fault and not mine.”
“Tell me somethin’,” I said scratching my beard. “Why tonight?”
“Why tonight, what?” I heard the tiny huff of breath after she spoke.
“Why did you let me touch you tonight? Did you think you owed me for something or are we taking a step forward with this whole thing?”
“I don’t see where we would need to… take a step forward.” I could tell she was confused by my question. “And why would I owe you something?”
I let out a long breath. Sometimes, talking to Petra could be like talking to a brick wall. She wasn’t stubborn or hardheaded, she just couldn’t understand things if you didn’t spell them out. And on top of that, there were times she didn’t even know the reasons why she did things. It wasn’t something she’d told me. I didn’t think she was aware of it herself.
“When you saw me sittin’ at that table, what went through your mind?” I asked figuring that if I took it back a bunch of steps then maybe I could get somewhere.
“I’m not used to seeing you out. We have never talked about what we should do if that happened. I wasn’t really sure what I should do.”
I believed her. Petra was nothing if not honest with her words. Now, whether or not she knew what that meant, I was a little unsure of that.
“So if that should happen again, what should we do?” I asked her because maybe I could use some direction here too.
There was a pause. When Petra paused it meant that she didn’t know how to answer.
“How about this,” I said thinkin’ it was better to give her a direction to go in. “You could treat me just like any other person you know. A tiny nod of acknowledgment or some shit. Like I saw you give Connor O’Shay. And I’ll do the same.”
“Okay,” she agreed.
“Okay,” I parroted and my head gave a firm nod even if she couldn’t see it. “Then it won’t happen again. And you won’t feel like you need to owe me again.”
Why the fuck was I giving that up?
I could have kicked myself right then.
“I didn’t want you to think I don’t respect you,” she told me and there was a hint of something I couldn’t explain in her tone. It had me sittin’ quiet for a few beats. “Iron?”
“I’m here, babe.” Another beat went by and I wondered if I should tell her what was running through my mind. “Liked bein’ able to touch you, Pet. Liked bein’ able to lay you out and fuck you.”
There was a strangled noise that rang out through the speaker into my ear.
“Liked knowing that my fuckin’ you made you come hard,” I went on.
“If that is all you needed to know in order to ease your mind, then—”
“Liked feelin’ your lips on mine,” I kept going on not giving one damn that I was cutting her off.
“Get some sleep, Iron. I think that’s for the best right now.”
With that, the line went dead.
I tossed my phone back on the nightstand. A hiss escaped my lips as I rolled onto to my back.
But I was still fucking smiling.
CHAPTER SIX
Iron
I went down to the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. I didn’t hesitate to lift the steaming cup to my lips and take a sip right away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mouse wince. I let out a chuckle thinking how he did that just about every time he watched me drink my hot coffee.
“I told Abigail we’d order pizza tonight,” he told me as I took a seat across the table from him. “The girls took the kids to the park and I didn’t want her to feel like she had to rush back to make dinner for our lazy asses.”
My chest shook with a silent laugh.
I checked the time. There was still a couple of hours before some of the brothers would show up and start sniffing around for food.
Mason
came in and went directly to the fridge. Pulling out a beer, he walked over and took the seat beside me. He didn’t show it too much on his face, but I could see the fire blazin’ in his eyes. The bottle tilted back and didn’t go upright again until half the beer was down his throat.
“Yes, it has to do with her. And no, I don’t want to fuckin’ talk about it,” he said before we could even question.
“Tonight supposed to be your night with him?” I asked referring to his son.
“Yes,” he said through gritted teeth.
My head nodded once. I didn’t need to ask anything else. If he was here, drinking beer at this time of day, then I knew that his baby mama was causing shit.
“So I was talking to Chris,” Mouse said, wisely changing the subject, “and he thinks it wouldn’t be a bad idea to put a kitchen in the bar.”
I took a long sip of coffee while I thought about the idea.
“Maybe just get a cook in there for the weekends,” he went on. “Since the place has been picking up with the locals coming in more the last few months.”
“Might not be a bad idea,” I agreed.
“Not anything too fancy. Simple menu. Typical bar food type of stuff.”
“Oh, nachos,” Sketch said as he walked in and headed to the refrigerator. “Bitches love nachos.”
He grabbed the creamer then went to make himself a cup of coffee, pouring enough creamer in it to make me want to gag.
“Is that all you ever think about?” Mouse asked and I knew he didn’t expect an answer back.
“What’s life without bitches’ screaming your name?” Sketch replied with a smirk as he took a seat at the table. “I don’t mind them easy. Hell, if all I have to do is buy a chick some nachos to get in her pussy, then I’d say I got it pretty damn made.”
His fingers interlocked behind his head as he stretched out in the chair.
At this point, I shouldn’t have been surprised by what came out of his mouth. Shaking my head, all I could do was laugh at the dumbass.
“Gotta say, though, rockin’ the cut definitely helps,” he finished up, his hands dropping away from his head to tug at his cut.
“He makes me feel old,” Mason grumbled as he rolled his eyes.
“At least they don’t call you Grandpa,” I grumbled back.
Sketch might seem like a fuck-up that was only here to get laid, but I knew better than anyone else that this club meant the world to him. He was the first to step up and offer to get shit done when it came time. Even when he was a prospect, he never complained about anything. Hell, half the time he did that shit with a smile on his face.
“Yeah, I’ll talk to Chris about the kitchen. See if we can make it worthwhile,” I said getting back on track.
“Remember,” Sketch said as he got to his feet and downed his coffee in one gulp. “Nachos.”
He set his cup in the dishwasher then was gone without another word.
The three of us just shook our heads as he disappeared around the corner.
“Ky found a new project,” Mouse said. “He wants to run it by you before he buys it. He says it won’t turn much of a profit by the time he does everything he needs to do, but I can tell he really wants this one. A, uh…” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. After a moment of tapping on the screen, he slid it across the table to me. “That.”
“Hmmm,” I hummed as I looked at the picture. The thing was in rough shape. I would approve it just to see what he could do with the hunk of rusted out junk.
“I secretly think he wants to work on it with Chry,” Mouse slipped in there like he somehow needed to guilt me into getting the damn thing.
“Tell him to go for it,” I said handing the phone back to Mouse. “Are you going to get the little guy those tools he asked for? His birthday is comin’ up soon.”
“Of course I am,” Mouse said like it shouldn’t have even been a question. He’d give that kid anything he asked for. But not to the point Chry was spoiled.
“You wanna do a party here?”
“Yeah, for sure. Ingram is going to make him a chocolate cake. I think she’s planning something with the girls so we wouldn’t have to worry.”
“Tell her to get me the list. I’ll have the prospects go to the store and get everything they need,” I told him. I was going to send someone along with them just to make sure they didn’t fuck it up, though. Mouse didn’t need to know that, he had his hands full already with the two kids and the club shit. Anything I could do to make his life easier, I was gonna do.
“Alright,” Mouse said as he got to his feet. “I’m going to get some shit done. I’ll pick up the pizzas in a bit.”
With an exchanged chin jerk, he headed out.
“You still seein’ that woman. What was her name?” I asked Mason. “Cynthia?”
“Yeah, that was it. No, it fizzled out pretty quick. I think there was some guy at her work she wanted to start seein’.”
“You upset about it?” I asked, my head turning so I could take in his expression.
His brows pinched together for a quick second before he answered.
“No,” he answered with a shrug. “Don’t get me wrong, she was fun. But there wasn’t much else there.”
I chuckled knowing what he meant.
“She was kind of young, huh?”
“Don’t give me shit, I’ve seen some of the women you use to take up to your place.” His brow raised and a knowing smirk spread across the left side of his face.
I didn’t miss the way he said it in the past. I shouldn’t have been surprised that he’d taken notice that I hadn’t had much interest in anyone that came around the club lately.
“Things with her that serious?” he asked me after a long beat of silence had slipped by.
How the hell was I supposed to answer that question?
“Okay, a better question, then,” he said before I could answer him. “Do you want it to be something serious?”
I cut my eyes over to him. He knew Petra well enough to know that it didn’t matter what I wanted. That woman would always have the top. She’d always keep the best hand and play it when she was damn well ready to. No amount of me wantin’ and wishin’ would make that shit change.
“What I get is close enough to what I want. And since my dick doesn’t see anyone else it wants lately, I’ll take what I get.”
“That’s all the answer I need,” he said and had the damn nerve to chuckle.
“I’ve got nothing but time. I’ll make my move when it’s right, and there will be no going back. I’ll make damn sure she understands that.” I pinned him with my eyes so he could see how damn serious I was about Petra.
“No offense, brother, but anyone that falls for a woman like Petra Novak is fucked. And you,” he pointed at me with a mocking finger, “are fucked.”
“I’m not fucked.” I wasn’t. In no way did I feel that way.
Had I fallen for the icy woman with a deadly air?
Hell, I didn’t even know what it was to be in love so how the fuck should I know?
I could list off the things that constantly had me hung up but I didn’t think that meant I loved the woman.
Cared about her? Sure. I could admit that. If something happened to her, I’d be wrecked. And let’s not forget all the reasons I kept going back to her. While I knew I’d get sex out of it, that wasn’t why I always went runnin’. I knew that when she called she needed me for reasons beyond an orgasm. That was just the sweet reward after it all.
“No,” he said shaking me out of my thoughts. “You haven’t fallen yet, but you are caught in her trap. You keep goin’ back to her and it’s only a matter of time.”
I said nothing because I knew he was right.
If I saw more of the woman that gave a little like the other night, then it sure as hell was going to happen.
“Alright, knock this shit off,” I said with a grunt. “Let’s find you a better lawyer. This shit has got to stop.”
He
let out a heavy sigh. I knew he didn’t want to deal with it but I was tired of this bitch jerkin’ him around just because she hated the world. Mason was a good fuckin’ guy and if he had the chance, like really had a chance, he would be a damn good dad to that boy. Too many years had already ticked by since he found out he had a son. I was puttin’ my foot down and giving him help though he didn’t even ask for it.
“I don’t want this to turn ugly,” he said with a kind of protective sternness in his tone.
“It already has, brother,” I said as I stood and patted him on the back.
I headed up to the office. I had intended to make some calls and find out who the best lawyer for his situation was in town.
Only as my ass hit the seat behind my desk, I got lost in thoughts about Petra. Maybe I was gettin’ tired of how things were going. Or maybe I could no longer deny that I wanted more.
It took me too damn long to shake myself out of what was running through my head. Damn, I needed some sleep.
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I pulled myself into focus. Then I reached for my phone and did what I needed to do.
An hour later, I texted Mason with the name and number of who he should call. I’d done my part, now it was time for him to take the next step. I figured he was at that point, having been pushed one too many times.
Then I went down and had dinner with my brothers, determined to enjoy the rest of the night and have a few beers. Maybe I would actually get some sleep tonight.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Petra
Pacing.
It wasn’t something I did often.
I wasn’t a pacer.
But you would have thought that I was well seasoned in the nervous, stressed out habit by the way I’d practically worn a line on the floor.
Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.
Turn.
Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.