by Hart, Eve R.
His eyes went sad and he scooted closer to me.
“Not good,” he replied with a soft sigh.
“How are you?”
“Not good.”
There was a beat of silence. I didn’t think he expected me to say anything and I honestly wasn’t sure what to say.
So, as strange as it was, I circled back around to what he’d asked me before.
“I think I’d be sad if it had been you,” I said as I cupped his face. His beard had grown back some and I softly smiled at how the crazy hairs felt tickling the pad of my thumb. Though I loved running my fingers over his beard, there was a heaviness surrounding us now. I wondered if I would have smiled more hadn’t it been for that. Could a smile be sad? Because that was the weight that it held as it forced itself to stay in place a beat longer.
There was a tiny spark that flickered in his eyes. He was obviously shocked and surprised by my raw and honest statement.
“I don’t want to think about it and I think that tells me more than I’m aware of,” I said.
“I’m right here, babe,” he whispered as he pulled me into his arms and held me close. “I’m right here.”
His lips were warm against my hairline. His kiss was lingering and sweet, but it wasn’t enough. I had this burning need to be closer to him. To touch as much of him as I could at once. My head tilted so that I could seal my lips to his.
My body rolled and my back pressed firmly into the mattress as his body covered mine. His hips settled between my parted legs.
My fingers went into his hair, holding him to me as his tongue tangled with mine.
My hips rocked against him and I felt his cock begin to grow thicker and heavier against me.
I never liked to be in this position. I had no control like this. And Iron had been the only man I’d ever let have the upper hand. There was something about him hovering over me that made me feel safe and protected. Which wasn’t something I needed, but I hadn’t realized until him that I wanted that feeling.
I let Iron take a lot of things from me. Some of them I realized when it happened and some of them would hit me later. I gave him control. I let him touch me. I let him kiss me. I even let him have his little terms of endearment. I could have stopped it at any time but with every little thing that I let slide, I found out that I actually really liked it. Yes, I liked all of it.
And even though it was hard to admit to myself, I liked the way he was looking down at me right now.
My back arched as he slowly slid inside of me but I didn’t let my lids fall closed. I didn’t want to miss a single second of that caring, penetrating gaze.
Neither one of us spoke as he worked his hips against me, stretching me and making me even wetter.
His rough hand cupped the underside of my knee and he brought my leg up even higher. With each deep thrust, his pelvis ground against my clit and caused the spark to burn hotter.
Needing to feel him against my fingertips, I slid my hands up his back, letting them settle on his shoulder blades. They flexed and moved with each roll of his body and I became mesmerized by the feeling of his corded muscles.
I was helpless against the electricity shooting through my body.
I couldn’t explain what was going through my head. I couldn’t even begin to understand why I felt warmth fill my chest. All I knew what that I needed every part of him right now.
His lips descended onto mine and his tongue licked into my mouth with the rhythm of his hips.
I shattered then, coming apart in little pieces around him. I knew he would hold me together and I trusted that he would never take advantage of my weak moments.
With his hand stroking my jaw, he came inside of me.
He stayed there kissing me long after his cock was spent.
I held on and greedily took everything he gave me.
“I haven’t had my fill of you tonight, but we both have shit to take care of,” he said as he buried his face in my neck and placed a light kiss there. “Call and check up on your girl. I’ve got to deal with Connor now.”
I nodded, my fingers stroking down his back.
We had stuff to do, important stuff, but it seemed like neither of us wanted to move. I was surprised that I was comfortable in our little bubble but I was sure that I’d over think about it later. I probably wouldn’t panic about it, but I knew I’d be a little angry at myself for giving in.
His lips skimmed my neck and I loved the feeling of his soft beard against my skin.
Eventually, he pulled away from me and I held back my sigh as best as I could.
He left the room. He returned and handed me a burner phone which I assumed was probably new. Then left again to take care of his call.
I understood why he’d given me the phone. It seemed that he was looking out for me even when I hadn’t asked him to.
“Petra,” Garen said as he answered on the third ring, likely knowing that it was me even though I was calling from a strange number. Not too many people had this way of contacting him.
“How is she?” I asked without a greeting.
“She’s in the bathtub in her apartment. She won’t come out. I’ve been sitting outside the door for an hour.”
“You haven’t checked on her?” I snapped. He knew better than to let her be alone, especially in a bathtub full of water.
“There’s no water in the tub,” he explained like he knew my thoughts. I guess at this point he kind of did. “There’s nothing in there that she can hurt herself with, I took it all out. She keeps whimpering and crying, so I know she’s still… alive in there.”
I didn’t miss the hesitation in his tone. Almost like he couldn’t think about her as being anything but alive and the brief mention that she could be anything but had him choking on his words.
“Garen,” I warned.
I’d never had a problem with him and I hoped not to now. But if it was going to happen, I understood that there was nothing I could do. Nor would I try to. I simply liked to be aware of anything and everything at all times. This one snuck up on me. Which told me that Garen was good at hiding his feelings. Even from me.
“What do you want me to say, Petra?” he asked with a sigh. “I know my place and I wouldn’t jeopardize my job. Strange enough, I like working for you. And besides, it’s not like she sees me anyway.”
“You need to get her out of that bathroom. But do it gently,” I told him. “And the mess?”
“It’s sitting tight for now. I’ve had my hands full here and it’s not like they’re going anywhere. I’ll have it taken care of by morning.”
“I’m coming back,” I told him and moved to get out of the bed.
“Don’t.” His tone halted my movements. “Let me get shit cleaned up first. Stay away just in case someone comes poking around. I’d rather have you away and safe.”
“I can handle what might come,” I told him firmly.
“Yeah, I know you can, Petra. But your face is like a walking billboard that something happened to you.” He let out a tired breath. “Let me handle this, it’s what I’m here for.”
He was right. And I didn’t want the girls to see me like this. Not that it made me feel like I might lose some of my dignity but I didn’t want to take the chance that they’d see any kind of weakness.
It was bad enough Iron and some of his men had.
I wasn’t happy, but I also knew he was right.
“Fine,” I relented and sunk back down into the bed. “See that those bodies disappear. And get her out of that bathroom. Call in some of the other girls if you have to. Just get her out.”
“Yes, ma’am.” There was a pause and I knew he had something else to say because he didn’t hang up. “You sure you can trust them?”
I knew exactly what he was saying.
“Yes,” I answered without hesitation. My eyes went to the door, staring at it as if I could somehow see Iron through it. I didn’t trust people easily, but I trusted him completely. And I knew that if I could t
rust him then his men were just as good.
“Right,” he said clearly hearing the firmness of my tone. There was no room for him to question it any further. But I couldn’t get mad at it. That was what I’d hired him for, to help watch my back and take care of my girls.
Then he was gone and I sat there with a feeling I wasn’t sure of. I was unhappy being stuck and helpless. Two things I did not like at all.
I wasn’t one for sitting around and hiding but it seemed that I had no choice right now.
“Pet,” Iron said as he slipped into the bedroom.
Seeing my eyes already looking in his direction, he raised a brow.
“I’m fine,” I told him.
“I know,” he said as he moved to the bed.
He pulled my head to his lips and laid a light kiss on my temple.
“It’s going to be a long night. Why don’t you try to get some sleep.” He stroked my hair as he spoke. The soothing movement had my lids threatening to close. “I’ll come in when I’m done.”
I nodded and he pulled the covers back for me.
Feeling tired and spent, I let him tuck me in. My head sunk into the soft pillow and I was half asleep by the time I felt his finger skim my face, moving a few strands of hair away.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
The door closed softly after his quietly spoken promise.
Knowing that there wasn’t any more I could do right now, I let myself drift off.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Iron
“This isn’t good,” Connor said as he stood in my living room shaking his head at everything I’d just told him. “I got Mullins watching my every move. I’m not sure how I can help ye right now.”
“I understand,” I told him but I felt like I was at the end of my rope.
I knew moving to a bigger city meant less chance of being able to sweep shit like this under the rug. More eyes, more cops, more people to pay off. And not everyone could be bought, I realized that.
“Where is the bullet?” he asked then took a big swig of his beer.
He might have still been in uniform but I didn’t think it mattered right now. And I had a good damn feeling Connor wouldn’t even be affected by one beer. He was Irish, after all, and I’d been around him while he was drinking a few times. I’d seen how much he could put away.
“Not in him,” I answered referring to Dade. I knew the bullet had gone all the way through. It was somewhere in Petra’s other building along with the rest of the crime scene. I needed to check with Petra to make sure that shit had been cleaned up but I wanted to let her sleep a little while.
The day couldn’t have been easy for her. It didn’t matter who you were or how tough you thought you could be, being around that shit got to you in some way. By the way Petra was practically asleep by the time I shut the door, I knew at least a part of her had been affected.
“Can you clean the body and leave it in an alley?” he asked and when I shot him a look, he held up his hand knowing he shouldn’t have even suggested that.
I wasn’t going to leave my man in some alley, even if it was the best way to get out of this situation.
“Is she here?” I knew he was talking about Petra. I’d been honest, giving him as many details about what happened as I could. I knew that hiding shit would come back to bite me on the ass.
“Yeah,” I replied. “She’s asleep in my room.”
I wasn’t sure why I shared that information.
No, wait.
Maybe I did know why I’d said it.
Petra was mine, and I sure as hell wanted everyone to know that.
He raised a brow at me knowing the unsaid words.
I pulled the bandanna from my head and tossed it onto the arm of the couch.
“Don’t ask me to explain it, I don’t think I can. She’s fucking scary as hell—” His snort caused me to pause and smile. “But she’s got me, and I sure as hell ain’t goin’ to let her let me go,” I finished.
“Ye must have a thing for women that can kill you with a look.”
I chuckled because he wasn’t wrong.
“I know the extent of what she can do.” I’d seen that shit with my own two eyes. “But I also know her. And I know just how protective and loyal she can be.”
“Better yer balls than mine,” he said with a smirk.
“Yeah,” I said with a soft, huffed out laugh.
“Wasn’t asking because I want a piece of that. Just wanting to know if I should talk to her,” he told me.
Yeah, I could see how that made more sense now that I thought about it. I didn’t think I was a possessive man, but clearly, Petra brought out a part that of me.
The light dancing in his eyes let me know he was silently laughing at me. I couldn’t blame him.
“Not right now,” I told him. Sure, Petra might have been able to shed some light on a few things, but I had a feeling she was just as stunned as I was when we walked into that situation. “I don’t think she knows much more than I do. If I get anything else out of her, I’ll fill you in.”
“I have a favor owed by one of the coroners. This now means you owe me.” His tone was low and the look in his eyes said it all. I’d pay that price as long as I could give my man the burial he deserved and not have it touch the club or Petra.
With a firm nod, he got that I was takin’ what he was offering.
“But this comes to me. Not my club. You call in that favor, you call it in to me,” I told him firmly.
“Got it,” he said and ran his hand through his hair before finishing his beer.
He set the empty bottle down on the coffee table then headed for the door.
“I’m sorry about yer brother,” he said as he paused before turning the handle.
My eyes went to the floor as I nodded.
So was I.
I couldn’t believe he was gone.
Dade had been a good man. He had lost his leg for the club and still stayed after.
I went into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of whiskey once Connor had gone. I poured a healthy amount into a glass, then put the whiskey back so I wouldn’t be tempted. It was one of those nights.
Flopping down on the couch, I thought of how quickly shit had gone bad in the matter of a handful of hours. I left the club earlier, excited to spend time with my woman.
I returned with a battered woman and a lost brother.
Then there was Abigail.
My head hit the back of the couch and I blew out a long breath.
Abigail stood there silent in shock when I told her. Then she broke down. It couldn’t have been easy to hear that your brother was dead so unexpectedly. I had Charming watching over her, so I knew she would have someone. I’d check on her in the morning but I imagined that now she needed time away from me. I was sure she blamed me, though she hadn’t said it.
Hell, I blamed myself.
That should have never happened and, fuck, I wished I could have gone back. I’d take that bullet for him if I could.
I didn’t know where to go from here. I really didn’t. I knew all the shit that I had to take care of. I knew the things that were to come. But I didn’t have the first clue on what I could do for Abigail now. Whatever she wanted, I would bend over backward to give her. That was something for another day. She needed time to grieve and that meant that she had to put her focus on that. Later would come, the part where we did our best to move on without Dade around.
I finished my whiskey and stood up.
Petra was in my bed and I was going to take comfort in that.
I stripped down at the end of the bed, my eyes on her peaceful, sleeping body. She was down for the count and I wondered if she’d stir when I slipped in and curled my body around hers.
She didn’t, not even as the bed dipped and I scooted closer to her. My fingers gently rubbed over the bruising on her wrists from where she’d been tied up. I had tried my hardest not to focus on her injuries but they were there in the back o
f my mind. And now as I pulled her body tight into mine, I saw them. I wanted to kill that asshole all over again.
I didn’t have all the pieces yet and I hoped that Petra could fill in the blanks in the morning. It was one of her girls that had been caught up in that shit. From what I got, the girl couldn’t really help it. It seemed like her family was crazy. But that didn’t mean that I could let it go. I had to know how the hell this even happened.
For now, only a handful of brothers knew about Dade. I was going to keep it that way until morning. I figured it was best to call everyone in and deliver that news all at once. I had Mason handle sending out the message that there was a club meeting bright and early.
I looked at the clock beside my bed and realized that the meeting was only a few hours away.
I didn’t even try to sleep, I knew I wouldn’t, no matter how hard I tried.
Instead, I held Petra and tried to remind myself of the good things I had in my life.
Hours later, there was a soft knock on my door. I closed my eyes and let out a long breath knowing I couldn’t put it off any longer.
“Someone’s here,” Petra said as her head turned to look at the door.
I knew Mason had let himself in. It wasn’t unusual.
I kissed her temple and rolled out of bed.
“It’s Mason. I got a meeting in a few. Gonna tell everyone about Dade,” I told her as I yanked on my pants. “I’ll be out in a minute.” My voice carried hoping to catch him before he opened the bedroom door.
Petra stood up and swung her feet to the floor.
“Stay in bed, babe. Get some more sleep,” I told her as I put on my shirt, followed by my cut.
“You don’t need me?” she asked, her head cocked in the cutest way.
“Yeah, Pet, I fuckin’ need you. But I don’t want you to have to deal with this.”
“Am I not allowed?”
Like that would have stopped her. I knew better. But I could tell from the look in her eyes that wasn’t it.
“If you come out, you need to get dressed,” I told her as I reached into my drawer and pulled out a pair of sweat pants and an old flannel shirt that I knew would be too big for her. I tossed them on the end of the bed. Without another word, I headed for the door.