“Hello. I’m Damian, Lex’s brother. Pleased to meet you.”
Did I suddenly step into another dimension where everything was the opposite of what you’d expect?
Lucas shook my brother’s hand. “Lucas.”
Damian gestured to the two of us with his hand. “So how did this happen?”
I was still too dumbfounded to speak.
Lucas nudged me with his shoulder. “What can I say? She had me at hello.”
That made me roll my eyes.
Damian laughed. Something was so wrong about all of this.
“You aren’t mad?” I asked.
“What would I be mad about?”
His voice was more chipper than I had heard it in months. His face seemed to glow. He looked happy. Like he’d just won the lottery happy. Like Wes looks after he gets laid. I grimaced. Sex and my brother didn’t belong in the same part of my head.
“He’s a nephilim.”
“So? Last time I checked so was I.”
I don’t know why I was trying to argue him into not being okay with this, but I persisted.
“You’ve been warning me not to get close to people for years.”
“I didn’t mean you should be alone for the rest of your life. I only want you to be careful.”
“So you’re okay with this because he’s not human?”
“I want you to be happy, niblet.” He got a faraway look in his eye. “Love is a beautiful thing.”
One kiss and two near death experiences can bond two people, but love? Love was pushing it.
Damian still had a dreamy look on his face. I didn’t think he was talking about Lucas and me.
“Who is she?” I asked, startling him out of his daydream.
His smile vanished, and he looked like a kid just caught pushing another child off a swing. “Nobody. I’m not talking about anybody.”
Yeah, right.
Before I could grill him on his secret lady love, Wes appeared. He leaned against the door frame, a sour expression still on his face.
“Do you want to tell him or should I?”
I couldn’t think of a way to word it that would soften the truth, so I shrugged. Let him tattle.
Damian looked from me to Wes and then back again.
“Tell me what?” he asked in his dad voice. The voice he used when he knew he wasn’t going to like the what.
Lucas stepped up. “It’s my fault. I couldn’t let what happened go, so I found out where the sentinel lived and went to confront him. Lex wouldn’t let me go alone.”
Damian took a centering breath. “You couldn’t let what go?”
Uh oh. You could see Lucas’ brain scrambling to figure out what to say that wouldn’t make things worse. He ended up opening and closing his mouth like a fish gasping for air. Man, he was not good at lying.
Damian turned to look at me, his face getting redder by the second. “Alexis?”
At least he only called me by my first name. I knew if he broke out the whole Alexis Margaret Jane Trenton I wouldn’t live to see the next sunrise.
“I told him about Terrance. I thought he might know him because he’s a nephilim and all.”
Damian shook his head. “We don’t all know each other, you know.”
I shrugged. “What did it hurt to ask?”
“You tell me. What happened?”
Lucas opened his mouth. Damian shot up his hand to silence him. “I need Alexis to tell me. Wes, can you show Lucas to the living room?”
He waited until Lucas shut the door before giving me the eyebrow. “Spill, niblet.”
I sighed and spilled. As the torrent of words washed over him, his eyes got wider, his breathing louder, and the vein in his neck pulsed. Before I could even get to the end, he pulled me into his arms, punishing me by squeezing me to death.
“Are you trying to put me in an early grave?” he asked, his voice tight with emotion.
“I’m okay. Lucas is okay. We’re all okay.”
“You should buy a lottery ticket, niblet. With the luck you have, we’d be millionaires.”
His joke cleared the tension from my body. He didn’t sound as angry as I thought he’d be. Just concerned. I smiled, even though it was getting harder to breathe.
“You can let me go now,” I joked.
He pulled away. Upon seeing the expression on his face, I knew the storm hadn’t actually passed. It was just getting started.
“I can’t do this anymore,” he said, deceptively calm. “I’ve tried. I thought maybe if I trained you, kept you close, I could make sure you stayed safe. But you think you’re invincible.”
“No, I don’t.”
“What do you call breaking into a sentinel— a fucking sentinel, Alexis! With no backup and nothing but your fists?”
“Reckless?”
He rubbed his temples, muttering something about how he couldn’t ground me forever. I let him argue with himself before speaking.
“I failed, didn’t I?” His voice broke.
This was so much worse than him yelling. I could handle yelling. I could handle anger because I knew it would fade, that he loved me too much to hate me.
But this?
I had hurt him. I was hurting him. And the more you love someone, the more painful it was knowing you were the cause of their hurt.
“It’s not your fault,” I said, softly. “I made my own choices.”
He shook his head. “Why didn’t you come to me? Why go behind my back?”
“You said you were letting it go. I couldn’t. You raised me right.”
“My job, my only job, is to keep you safe. I don’t care how old you get. Even when you’re so old you can’t walk, you will be mine to protect.”
“I think you’re stuck in the eighteen hundreds with Wes. I’m not a china doll. I don’t break when I fall.”
“No one is unbreakable.”
I opened my mouth.
He put his finger against my lips. “Not even Bruce Willis.”
It was like he could read my mind.
“You can’t keep me locked away forever. The world is ugly and dangerous. You don’t give a man a fish, right? You teach him to fish, so he doesn’t starve to death when you’re gone.”
“When I’m gone?” His voice softened. “Is that what you’re worried about?”
“Nothing lasts forever, right?”
“Niblet.” He pulled me back into his arms, this time not trying to crush me like a can of sardines. “How about from now on we watch each other’s back, okay?”
I pulled back, looking at him through blurry eyes. “Really? Does that mean you’ll let me do more than answer phones and vacuum?”
His lips brushed my forehead. “No, niblet, it means I’m out, too.”
I pushed back, not understanding what he was saying. “What do you mean out?”
“I’ve thought we needed a change for a while now. There’s something I’ve wanted to tell you—”
I didn’t let him finish. “So you can have secrets but I can’t?”
“Listen to me for a minute. I wasn’t keeping it from you. I was keeping it away from you. It’s…” He sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“It’s complicated is what people say when they know they’re wrong but don’t want to admit it.”
His forehead scrunched up. “I don’t know where you got that from.”
“So what are we going to do? Move out to the country and become farmers? Because news flash, we can run and hide, but it won’t stop bad things from happening.”
“Maybe, but it does decrease the odds. You running around half-cocked and unprepared is like sticking your head in lion’s mouth and hoping he ain’t hungry.”
Why didn’t he get it? It wasn’t in me to ignore the evil in this world, to pretend that goodness prevails and rainbows and unicorns and shit. It wasn’t in him, either.
“Nothing you say will make me something I’m not.”
“What are you, then? What makes you incapable of seeing how selfish
and unhelpful your vigilante act is? You could have gotten Lucas killed. Or Wes. And for what? Did killing that sentinel bring back Terrance?”
“It will give his parents peace.”
“Peace?” He laughed. “You have no idea what it means to be a parent. You can burn the world with your vengeance, and it will never heal the emptiness. There is no peace.”
“You think he’s just going to stop? Can you live with yourself knowing if you had done something another parent wouldn’t have had to bury their child?”
“You can’t save everyone, isn’t that what you said?”
“Maybe. But you should at least try.”
“Ugh. Fine.” He turned his back to me. “You avenged Terrance. You stopped the sentinel from killing someone else. Are you done now?”
“It wasn’t him.”
Nothing moved. No one spoke. Neither of us breathed. The second stretched to a minute. To ten.
Finally, Damian turned around. He kept looking like he was about to say something and then thought better of it just to look like he was going to say something else. This continued for a bit.
“Help me catch him,” I whispered.
He sighed. “I’ll make a deal with you. Pick a school. I don’t care where. Pick one, apply, and in the fall, go.”
My mouth went dry. I hadn’t proven anything to him. Instead, I’d just solidified how much of a screw-up I am.
He was done with me. He didn’t say that, of course. He wanted me to believe that this was what was best for me. He’d always be my brother, always be there. What he would never admit is that he wanted me to leave and find a new life, a life without him. He would never leave me, his conscience wouldn’t allow it, but if I didn’t need him anymore than he’d be free.
I was the albatross. The noose. The brick tied on his ankle dragging him to the ocean floor.
They say if you love something let it go. There was no one I loved more in the world than him.
“Okay, you win. First, we find the asshole targeting nephilim, and then I’ll go.”
He shook his head. “That’s not the deal, niblet.”
“You just said—”
“I wasn’t finished. I told you your end, not mine.”
“So what do I get?”
He smiled. “Peace.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“I’ll get the guy, don’t worry. No one else will get hurt.”
Easy to promise, difficult to fulfill.
“I’m benched then? After everything, you don’t need me. You got this?” I folded my arms across my chest. “Shitty deal for me, bro.”
He laughed. “Admit it, niblet. This isn’t about justice for you. You just want the thrill of being the hero.”
I frowned, searching for the words to refute his claim and coming up empty.
Yeah, he knew me well.
I grabbed the folder from under my pillow and handed it to him. “This is all I got.”
“Thanks,” he said, already flipping through the contents.
“I’m going to say goodbye to Lucas. Unless Wes has already run him off.”
He looked up from the folder. “I don’t have to say to be careful, do I?”
“Thought you approved?”
“I can be okay with you having a boyfriend and still worry that you’ll be reckless.”
“I promise I won’t drag him into any more dangerous places.”
Damian sighed, looking very, very old. “That’s not what I meant.”
I rushed out of the room, afraid I would finally have to sit through that birds and the bees talk.
Chapter 19
I had thought the day couldn’t get any worse.
I was wrong.
Wes glared at Lucas from across the room. Lucas avoided looking back. The air in the living room was so thick with tension, you’d need an ice pick even to make a dent.
I hoped to the gods Wes hadn’t said anything I’d have to apologize for.
“So, that’s over,” I said.
Both looked over at me, finally noticing my presence. One looked happy. The other? Not so much.
“Why don’t we head out, Lucas? I’m starving.”
Wes grunted like a cave man. “You’re grounded.”
“Shut up. You can’t ground me.”
“Does Damian know you plan to leave the house?”
I rolled my eyes. “Lucas, I’ll meet you outside.”
I didn’t have the energy for another showdown, not after everything with Damian. But I intended to keep my word. Which meant I didn’t have a lot more time with Wes and I didn’t want to waste it on pettiness.
Once I heard the front door open and close, I walked over to Wes and gave him a hug. His body stiffened at contact. I just kept holding tight until he stopped being awkward and returned the hug, albeit unenthusiastically.
“If you think you can use your womanly charms to make me forget I’m mad at you, you’re wasting your time.”
“I love you, too,” I joked.
He tensed again and didn’t relax until I let go.
I nudged him with my shoulder, determined to melt his icy heart one way or another.
“Give Lucas a chance, will ya? You might like him.”
“He’s a nephilim.”
“So is Damian. You like him plenty.”
“You’re not dating, Damian,” he mumbled.
I wasn’t dating Lucas, either. Apparently, I can’t bring a guy home without assumptions being made.
“So, are you mad at me because you’re jealous or because you had to save my ass again?”
“I’m not jealous,” he said in an utterly unconvincing voice.
I tweaked his nose. “It’s okay. You’re still my favorite.”
He backed away, breathing hard. “Stop it, Lex. I’m not jealous.”
I stopped myself from saying the lady doth protest too much because even I know when it’s not a good idea to throw rocks at a mountain lion.
“Okay. Fine. Why are you so pissed at me, then?”
He shook his head and began to pace. Wes paced whenever he was having a hard time figuring something out. He also paced when he was trying not to punch something.
“Sometimes I think you forget what you are.”
I raised my hand in the universal sign for stop. “Hold up. You’re pissed because I’m a cambion and he’s a nephilim?”
“It’s unnatural.”
So that was it. Wes couldn’t see past his prejudice to be happy for me or something. I wonder if he thought it was unnatural following my brother around like an attention-starved puppy. I was very proud of myself for not throwing that in his face.
“It’s none of your damn business.”
“You asked. Don’t get pissy just cuz you don’t like the answer.”
“I can’t even right now.”
“Then don’t. Go. Walk out the door.”
“Because I’m not welcome here anymore?” I sang, completely off key and completely not giving a shit.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Life isn’t a joke, Lex. Grow the fuck up.”
I shook my head and turned around. “Don’t worry. One of these days I won’t be walking back through that door.”
“Don’t make idle threats.”
“I’m not. I promised Damian I would go away to college in the fall. So chin up, buttercup. You’re only stuck with me for another six months.”
I didn’t wait to see if he had anything to say to that. I slipped into my boots, grabbed my jacket and hurried out to meet Lucas.
It’s not like I didn’t care what he thought. I just didn’t think I could handle seeing the relief on his face.
I kept my head high as I marched forward. That’s the key, right? Just keep swimming.
You can’t change the past. You can’t undo your wrongs. You can’t be something you’re not.
Lucas smiled at me when I got into the car.
“You okay?” he asked.
I force
d a smile I didn’t feel to my lips. “Right as rain.”
Damian and Wes weren’t the only ones I’d be leaving. I couldn’t get attached. Not that I was going to push him away. There was no harm in having some fun beforehand.
Besides, I needed to practice giving zero fucks so that I’d never make the mistake of needing someone ever again.
Chapter 20
We drove in silence until finally pulling into his driveway. I couldn’t tell you what color his house was. Or if it had a one car or two car garage. Or how many stories there were.
You might think after what ended up happening later the scene would have been seared into my memory. But I guess the mind doesn’t work that way. All that I remembered from that night was the blood stained snow.
I got out of the car and followed Lucas to the front door. Instead of unlocking the door, he turned to face me. “You said you were hungry, right?”
I didn’t like the fact that he looked guilty.
“I did,” I said slowly.
“When I was waiting in the car, my dad called. He wanted me to invite you for dinner.”
I was so not ready to do the whole meet the parents thing.
“It’s not dinner time.”
He smiled. “It is somewhere.”
“You could’ve warned me before we got here.”
“Would you have gotten into the car then?”
“Is there any way out of this?” I asked pointedly ignoring his question.
He grabbed my hand grinning as if it were the greatest joke ever played. “Nope.”
He unlocked and opened the door, tugging me to follow him into the house.
I didn’t move from m spot. “What if he doesn’t approve?”
“You know the funny thing about teenagers?”
“Hair growing in uncomfortable places?” I shot back, not missing a beat.
He chuckled. “Disapproval makes things more desirable.”
“I’ll make sure to keep my resting bitch face on.”
He kissed me on the nose and dragged me to my doom.
His father stood in the foyer, a frozen smile on his face. He’d probably overheard the whole conversation.
“You must be Lex,” he said with forced cheerfulness. “Lucas has said wonderful things about you.”
Like what, I wanted to ask. It’s not like the two of us had been very friendly up until today. And my duel with Wes hadn’t lasted long enough for a long heart-to-heart between father and son.
Nephilim Falling (Trenton Investigations) Page 11