by Adam Frost
Danny put his remote on the ground.
“Well, you see, it was quite brilliant,” said the Night Scientist, gazing at the far wall. “Even if I do say so myself.Your uncle never really stood a chance.”
At that moment, Danny noticed something happening over the Night Scientist’s shoulder. A column of light had appeared in the far right-hand corner of the warehouse.
“That’s the trouble with good people,” said the Night Scientist. “They make it too easy. They don’t really challenge you.”
The column of light now had hard edges and definite colours.
“But I digress,” said the Night Scientist. “So anyway, I found your uncle in a small hut on the banks of the River Niger. He was disguised as a humble fisherwoman, but he didn’t fool me for a second.”
The column of light was now clearly a human being. The outline sharpened further and revealed Uncle Charlie holding a shoe in his right hand. Danny forced himself to look at the floor.
“I released one of my giant fish into the river—” said the Night Scientist.
The shoe whizzed through the air and hit the Night Scientist on the back of the head. The remote flew out of his hand.
“Grab it, Danny!” shouted Uncle Charlie.
Danny had already leapt forwards. He stuffed the Night Scientist’s remote into his pocket.
“Blast it all!” yelled the Night Scientist as he lay sprawled on the floor.
Uncle Charlie scooped Danny up in his arms and said, “Got you, mate. Sorry for the delay.”
Danny held tightly to Uncle Charlie and said, “I wasn’t even sure if you were alive or dead!”
“I know,” said Uncle Charlie. “Sorry about that. And sorry for not telling you everything right at the start. But listen, we’ll talk later – we’ve got to make sure that – hey, where’s he gone?”
The Night Scientist was no longer on the ground in front of them.
“What a touching scene. Uncle and nephew reunited,” said a voice behind them. They swung round and saw the Night Scientist standing on his workbench. “Such a shame I have to break it up.”
Danny held his remote out and placed his thumb over the Pause button.
“Remotes! Return to owner!” cried the Night Scientist.
Danny felt his remote being sucked out of his hand. At the same time, the Night Scientist’s remote slipped out of Danny’s pocket and zipped through the air. The Night Scientist caught them both.
“Did you honestly think I’d give you a fully working remote? Without any kind of homing device?” said the Night Scientist.
He pointed one remote at Danny and one at Uncle Charlie.
“Time to finish this,” he growled.
“Now, hang on, Herbert,” said Uncle Charlie. “I didn’t come here to fight. Think about it. Why do you think I hit you with a shoe?”
“Yes, what is it with you people and footwear?” growled the Night Scientist, rubbing the back of his head.
“Danny’s sister showed me how to aim,” said Uncle Charlie.
“You’ve seen Mia!” whispered Danny.
“Shh,” said Uncle Charlie. He looked up at the Night Scientist. “I wanted to knock you for six, but not seriously hurt you. Because I’m here in my official capacity as Vice-President of EUREKA! We want you to join us.”
The Night Scientist chuckled and put his finger on the Eject button. “You must take me for a fool.You know I’d never join your dismal organisation.”
“Dismal, eh?” said Uncle Charlie. “So how do you think I got in here? I’ll tell you. Direct matter transfer. It’s the ability to move objects through space with the mind alone. And have you heard of a domino pill? Swallow it and you can do any sum, any equation, any calculation. What about an earth cruiser? You can get to the equator in three minutes.”
The Night Scientist seemed to be thinking. “You’re lying,” he said finally. “You’d never let me near any of those devices.”
“Black-hole corks. Planet shifters. Sun shoes – you too can walk on the surface of the sun.”
“Those things can’t possibly exist,” said the Night Scientist with a sneer.
At that moment there was a deafening bang. It came from behind the huge metal doors that stood at the far end of the warehouse.
Uncle Charlie smiled and glanced at his watch. “Right on time,” he said.
There was a second ear-splitting bang. This time a huge dent appeared in one of the metal doors.
“Intruders!” exclaimed the Night Scientist. He spun round and pointed his remote at the door, keeping Danny’s remote trained on Uncle Charlie.
There was a third bang, the loudest so far, that shook the ground and hammered the walls. The dent in the door was gigantic now.
“What’s going on?” whispered Danny.
“The cavalry’s arrived,” whispered back Uncle Charlie.
“My robot army should have detected this,” growled the Night Scientist, placing his thumb on the Pause button of his remote.
However, before he could press it, the metal doors were smashed open and there, sitting on the back of a robot rhino, was Eric. Beside him, sitting on a robot horse, was Mia. Behind them there was a wall of robot animals: monkeys, crocodiles, dogs, crows, lizards and mice.
“What is the meaning of this?” spluttered the Night Scientist, his yellow eyes flashing.
“Get ready,” whispered Uncle Charlie. “When I say now, push the workbench over.”
“Oh. Oh, OK,” stammered Danny, still looking at Eric and Mia in astonishment.
“Robot army! Stand down!” exclaimed the Night Scientist. He seemed to have forgotten about the remotes; he held them loosely at his sides.
“Robot army! About turn!” shouted the Night Scientist.
“Robot army!” yelled Eric. “Attack!”
“Now!” shouted Uncle Charlie.
Uncle Charlie and Danny dashed forwards and heaved over the workbench, sending the Night Scientist flying. The remotes spiralled through the air. At the same time, all of the robot animals tore across the warehouse. The birds flew like arrows; the mice sped like bullets; the lizards hurtled like rockets. Eric’s rhino and Mia’s horse put their heavy metal heads between their front legs and charged.
“No!” shouted the Night Scientist. “Destroy! Mutilate! Kill!”
Two of the dogs picked up the remotes and retreated. The crocodile picked up the Night Scientist in his steel jaws and tossed him to the seal, who balanced him on his nose before butting him towards the zebra.
“Zebra to moose,” called out Eric. “Moose to gorilla. Gorilla to final location.”
Danny had backed away and stood against the side wall of the warehouse. He looked on, amazed and confused.
He saw a robot gorilla tuck the Night Scientist under his arm and lope steadily across the warehouse before leaping up, swinging on a metal rafter and vanishing feet first through the warehouse door.
The Night Scientist’s howls slowly died away.
There were a few seconds of silence. Eric was the first to speak.
“Hope he likes snow. Because he’s off for a holiday in the North Pole!” he said, climbing off his rhino.
Danny gave a loud, relieved laugh, and Eric and Mia joined in.
“Now then. Who’s got the remotes?” asked Uncle Charlie.
“We have,” said Roxie, stepping out from behind a robot yak.
“Safe as houses,” said Jasper, stepping out from behind a baboon.
“Jasper! Roxie! You’re OK!” said Danny. “When I flew away – I know you told me to go – but I felt bad – I felt –”
“It’s fine, Danny,” said Jasper. “You did the right thing.”
“We won in the end,” said Roxie with a wink. “We always do.”
Uncle Charlie gave Danny another hug.
“So it turns out those robot animals are really easy to rewire,” said Eric. “Just like that parrot was. You and Uncle Charlie gave me enough time to reprogramme this batch.We just s
hut the others down.”
“Wow,” said Danny. “So when did you all get here? And how did you all get here? And how did you all meet up?”
“We’ll give you the full story when we get home,” said Uncle Charlie, “but this is my part. Till two days ago, I was stuck inside one of the Night Scientist’s giant fish. I had a mobile phone but couldn’t get a signal while the fish was swimming in the open sea. I had to wait till it got close to shore, then I was able to call out. I phoned Jasper and Roxie. Jasper used the phone’s signal to pinpoint my location and got me out by direct matter transfer. Trouble was, he only got me as far as Georgia, then he had to stop for a rest. By then, I was being chased by bears and Jasper lost my signal. So I had to travel the rest of the way on my own.”
“OK,” murmured Danny.
“Two days later, I made it to your house. I arrived about half an hour after you’d left with Jasper and Roxie. Eric and Mia told me the remote had gone and insisted on coming with me.We caught up with Jasper and Roxie when they were being attacked by those insects. We managed to bash and mangle a fair few. Of course, by that point, you’d gone.”
“I know,” said Danny. “I’d decided—”
“I knew exactly what you’d do!” said Uncle Charlie with a smile. “Find the man who took your remote. I’d have done the same, you see! Anyway, we all headed here as fast as we could. We must have arrived not long after you. Eric and Mia started rewiring the animals while Jasper, Roxie and I tried to track you down.We heard noises from in here, so I sent you that message to your remote. Then Jasper beamed me in. I knew Eric needed another ten minutes to finish rewiring the animals so I kept the Night Scientist talking. Then in they came.”
“In you came,” said Danny with a smile.
He looked down and remembered that he wasn’t holding his remote. He realised that he didn’t care.
“So all these animals will do what you say, Eric?” asked Danny.
“Yeah. Cool, eh?” said Eric. “I probably won’t take all of them home, though. That would be ridiculous. I’ll leave – maybe – those two here.”
He pointed at a couple of wonky-looking geese.
“And him,” he added.
He gestured towards a rabbit with smoke coming out of one of his ears.
Jasper held up the two remotes. “So how come there are two of these contraptions?” he asked.
“Tell ’em, Danny,” said Uncle Charlie.
“The Night Scientist split the amber crystal and built his own one,” said Danny.
So Danny told everyone about the last half an hour and how the Night Scientist’s remote was even more powerful than his and how both were now programmed to respond to the Night Scientist’s voice.
“Give it here, Jazza,” said Uncle Charlie, taking it from Jasper.
Uncle Charlie pressed the crystal in the back of Danny’s remote. He twisted it anticlockwise until it pinged.
“That’ll be fine now,” said Uncle Charlie. “Back to its original settings.”
He handed it to Danny.
“As for this,” said Uncle Charlie, picking up the Night Scientist’s remote. “Mia, would you like to do the honours?”
Mia smiled, took the remote, dropped it on the floor and ground it under her heel.
“One more stamp for luck?” suggested Uncle Charlie.
Mia brought her foot down sharply and the remote fell apart.
“Now that is a real talent,” said Uncle Charlie.
Danny looked round at all his friends and family. He wondered if he should press Pause and prolong this happy moment. But he didn’t want to be alone; he wanted his uncle to be here with him, to be living and breathing and walking and talking beside him.
So instead he did something else. He pressed Record and watched the yellow light stream out of his remote. He moved his arm slowly from left to right, recording Eric, Mia, Uncle Charlie, Roxie, Jasper and all of the robot animals. Eric and Mia stood quietly smiling at him, their eyes bright and their faces shining. He let the stream of light rest on Uncle Charlie for a few seconds. He persuaded Jasper and Roxie to wave. Then he moved the stream of light back from right to left, capturing everything, missing nothing, determined to record the moment as faithfully as possible.
Then he pressed Stop.
Danny and Mia were standing outside their house. Uncle Charlie was hovering behind them.
“Do we have to?” asked Danny.
Uncle Charlie nodded.
“Where do you live?” asked Mia. “We could stay with you.”
Uncle Charlie shook his head.
“But tell you what, I’ll come and stay with you for a while,” he added.
Danny and Mia clapped their hands and laughed.
“Deal,” said Mia.
“Do you think the Night Scientist will make it back from the North Pole?” said Danny as they walked towards the front door.
“If he does, Jasper and Roxie will simply escort him to the South Pole,” said Uncle Charlie.
“Do you think he’ll invent another remote of his own?” asked Danny.
“No. He’d need an amber crystal for that, and we’ll make sure he never gets another one,” said Uncle Charlie.
“And he won’t have his animals any more,” added Mia, “because Eric’s taken them all apart.”
“Except the lemur,” said Uncle Charlie.“We let him keep the lemur for a week.”
They were outside the front door now. Danny was holding his remote loosely in his right hand.
“Wait,” he said.
“What’s up?” said Uncle Charlie.
“You really don’t want to face Mum and Dad, do you?” said Mia.
“No, it’s not that,” said Danny. “It’s this.”
He held out his remote.
“I don’t need it right now,” he said.
Uncle Charlie frowned slightly.
“I want you to look after it for a while,” said Danny.
He held it out and Uncle Charlie took it gently.
Mia had a concerned look on her face. “Are you sure about this?” she asked.
Danny nodded. “It’s someone else’s turn,” he said.
Uncle Charlie smiled and gave Danny’s arm a squeeze.
“Let me tell you something about the gadgets I look after,” he said. “You might have guessed the first part. That is, if we ever lend a gadget out, we make sure it’s programmed so that it only recognises one person’s fingerprints. See what that means? No one else can use that remote. Only you. So what’s the point of giving it to someone else?”
Danny shrugged.
“But that’s not all,” said Uncle Charlie. “They don’t work if they don’t match your deepest dreams and desires.”
“Eh?” said Danny and Mia at the same time.
“Each gadget is paired with someone who really needs it,” said Uncle Charlie. “And, Danny, you really needed to step out of time. You didn’t need rocket boots. You didn’t need laser vision.You needed a cosmic remote.”
“I see,” said Danny. “I think.”
“And when you stop needing it,” said Uncle Charlie. ‘It’ll stop working.”
“Oh,” said Danny, looking slightly uncertain.
“Want to see if it still works?” said Uncle Charlie.
“Er, OK,” said Danny.
He pressed Pause. Mia and Uncle Charlie froze. He pressed Play.
“It still works,” said Danny.
“Then you still need it,” said Uncle Charlie. “For now.”
He put his arms round Danny and Mia and squeezed them tight.
“Ready to go inside?” he said.
Danny looked at Uncle Charlie and Mia smiling at him. He felt ready for anything. He slipped his remote into his pocket and followed them into the house.
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Copyright
First published in the UK in 2011 by Nosy Crow Ltd
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Text © Adam Frost, 2011
Illustrations © Andy Parker, 2011
The right of Adam Frost and Andy Parker to be identified as the author and illustrator respectively of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988
All rights reserved
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
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ISBN: 978 0 85763 038 4