“You and Brawley—”
“I’m not Brawley. I don’t do what Brawley does. I would never do that to you. Is that your question?” He stooped down so they could make eye contact.
She melted into him, throwing her arms around his shoulders and neck. His huge hands scooped her rear up and held her against him while her knees wrapped around his hips.
“Thank you,” she said before they kissed. “I want to trust you.”
Tucker let her down slowly, feeling her mound travel over his member. “You want to trust me? Or, you do trust me?”
“Same thing.”
“Oh no, Sweetheart. Vastly different. I need to know if you trust me.”
“You’ve never done anything—”
“And that’s not trusting. That’s being okay for now. I’m talking about trust, especially when it’s not convenient to do so.”
“Yes, I think I do. I think some of this is new to me. Give me a chance, Tucker. I’m running as fast as I can to catch up.”
He drew her back to him and held her head, raising her chin and planting a deep kiss on her hungry lips. “I like the way you run. I like the way you try to catch up. Sweetheart, I love the way you do everything.”
They kissed again. He could taste the remnants of the wine from today, felt her body need him again, and his desire flamed. But before it grew to a bonfire, he needed to tell her.
There was a stack of wooden pallets left between the rows they were traversing. He moved three of them, making a seat for her. Then he sat next to her.
“I’ve made the decision to go back to the Teams. But I wanted your opinions about it first before I turn in the paperwork.”
There. He’d said it.
She took a gulp of air. The hand he was holding clutched his and he felt her pulse quicken.
“I—I want you to do what’s best for you. When would this be happening?”
“Soon.”
“How soon?”
“I’d have to report in two weeks.”
She dropped his hand. “And how long would you be gone?”
“About four months, maybe less. You could come visit.”
“Where?”
“Michigan.”
“Okay. And then when do you go overseas, or wherever you go?”
“The training will take over a year all totaled. But most of it takes place in San Diego. We do jungle training, desert training and some in the snow country—Alaska, Norway, all over. I have to qualify just like I did the first time. They won’t make it easy on me, which is why this next question is important to me.”
He could see water had formed in her eyes. She was experiencing already saying good-bye and it hurt him to see the pain written on her face.
“Go ahead.” Her voice was timid, weak.
“When I get done with training, and before my first deployment, I’d like to marry you, if you’ll have me. But only if you’re sure.”
She stared down, studying her fingers entwined with his, resting on her lap.
“So, no honeymoon in an exotic place like Dorie and Brawley. It’s I do and then Good-bye.”
“We don’t do anything like Dorie and Brawley. We are Tucker and Brandy and our lives are in our hands. Like this.” He drew her fingers up to his lips and kissed them. “We’re a team, you and I. But, only if you support what I’m doing.”
He had to wait for her answer and wasn’t surprised her reaction didn’t match the movies when the girl jumps for joy and hugs the guy to death. He hadn’t even bought a ring to give her. But this didn’t diminish the commitment he was making this evening under the stars—a commitment he hoped she’d share.
“Yes. But on one condition,” she whispered.
He braced himself for something he worried he’d not want to hear.
“I get you body and soul for the next two weeks.”
Her follow-up smile warmed his heart. “I’ll be your slave.”
Brandy cocked her head, still smiling. “You might want to think about that a little bit before you promise. I have appetites and demands and—”
He grabbed her close, interrupting her message with a deep penetrating kiss he hoped sent her spinning. “Nothing would make me happier,” he said when they came up for air. “I can’t wait for my instructions, because, honey, everything you want, I need to give you. Everything. But I’m going to go back to the Teams to help me be the strong man you’ll be able to count on.” He kissed her forehead. “You understand that, don’t you?”
“I do.” She nodded, meeting his eyes, unflinching.
He knew they had a real good shot at this. He was going to do everything in his power to make it happen. With her help, he could have both things he wanted more than anything else. He could be the man he knew he was created to be, and he could love the woman he was created to love.
He’d spend the rest of his life blowing her mind. All she had to do was trust him.
Chapter 4
Their return from the Wine Country began with as much excitement as the trip itself. Brandy was overjoyed Tucker didn’t hesitate to discuss their future plans, although their wedding wasn’t going to take place for at least another year. Tucker told her he wanted to complete his Corps School and requalify as a SEAL. That meant taking BUD/S all over again at the ripe old age of forty. He showed her his enlistment paperwork, ready to submit, naming her as next of kin and beneficiary of his insurance, should something happen while in the Navy.
Little things like this reassured her when the cobwebs of doubt crept into her frame of mind. Life was looking like it could have a real happily ever after—just like some of her friends. Lady Luck was finally smiling down on her. She realized her mother had been right.
“When the right man comes along, he’s going to love you just the way you are. You’ll be perfect together.”
Thanks, mom.
On the fourth day back, she went with him to the Induction Center where he turned in more paperwork and submitted his lab work and physical evaluation. On the way home, he suggested they stop and go shopping for an engagement ring. She’d told herself she wasn’t going to push him on it, since they had so little time together. But she was overjoyed he’d made the suggestion. She had never brought it up.
She picked out a very small diamond, insisting they could upgrade later on. Tucker argued with her a little, but in the end gave in and allowed her to get the modest token of his undying love. Brandy didn’t care how their future finances went, this simple ring meant so much to her, it would forever be her most prized possession.
She’d lost count how many times she’d been in friends’ weddings, but now she’d have one of her own. Every time she thought about it, her heart raced.
I’m actually getting married! Me!
The ring could have been made out of aluminum, for all she cared. It was that he wanted her to be marked as belonging to him. He even insisted on putting it on her finger and kissing her tenderly on the palm. This big behemoth of a man had a tender heart, with a great love growing stronger every day. She could see it, feel it. Brandy experienced that complete hero’s devotion she had considered might never find her.
Her father was thrilled, and allowed her to take time off work, since his health had greatly improved. The new hires Brandy made were working out well for the little business. There would be time for throwing herself back into the stand once Tucker left for Great Lakes.
Until then, she didn’t want to think about it—pretending they had years and years before she’d have to be separated from him. The little internal lie worked, too. His body gave her strength the more he kissed and massaged his way into her flesh. She relaxed further with her inhibitions, the more intense their lovemaking became. His need to completely wring her out and satisfy her in bed nearly left her in tears on a daily basis. She even asked him to take her to a local X-rated strip club some of the SEALs had frequented. He insisted it wasn’t necessary, that he was no longer a single man, but Brandy needed to present t
o him the gift of her trust. No matter the environment, she loved him and everything he wanted to do, and needed to show it.
They spent little time with Dorie and Brawley. There was a rumor circulating in the community that the two of them were still fighting. One day she got a call from Dorie, which confirmed everything Brandy feared. With only five days left before Tucker was to leave, Brandy was called to the Hanks home with urgency.
“You have any idea what’s going on?” he asked.
“No. Just said for me to come. Alone.”
“Jeez. I don’t like it. I should take you over there.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll text you if I see his Hummer, or he walks in. I promise.”
He reluctantly agreed. They cancelled Tucker’s plans to go to dinner at Kyle’s house, though she had insisted he go alone.
“Oh sure. You expect me to sit there all evening and get pummeled with questions about where you are? No thanks. Just easier to reschedule it, saying something came up, or you’re not feeling well. Something.”
“Fine.”
“And you let me know. No secrets, okay? Perhaps Kyle needs to be informed,” he said.
“She made me promise not to tell you. I’ve broken that promise, obviously, but I won’t break the other one.”
“But they deploy a few days after I leave. Someone’s got to keep an eye out for him. I wish I were still going as their civilian. I’d feel better if I could watch over him.”
“Tucker, you can’t save the world. Brawley’s gotten himself into something dark, and he’ll have to get himself out of it. I want you to focus on the training. Give yourself that chance and forget about the rest of the world.” She angled her head and teased. “Seriously, Tucker. If you are distracted, you’ll regret it.”
“On one condition, then.”
“Fair enough.”
“Something happens—either tonight when you go see her, or after I’m gone, you let me know. I can’t leave a friend in need. That’s not how it works.”
Brandy could see why having relationships in this very intense environment of the Special Forces could be tricky. They couldn’t have a bad day. She’d learned that the SEAL Motto: Only Easy Day Was Yesterday, was created to remind them that they could never let up and coast. They were always on call and it would always be tough, regardless of what else was going on at home.
“I promise,” she said to him, giving him a swift kiss and then breaking their embrace to exit the cottage. “I’ll text you when I’m on the way home.”
She was getting used to driving Tucker’s big truck. The San Diego dusk was very mysterious tonight, showing off hues of turquoise and salmon, the palm trees and profile of the coastline was dark the blacker the night sky became.
Brawley was one of the SEALs who had bought his first house with the re-enlistment bonus he obtained tax-free when he’d been on deployment a year ago. Since that time, she’d been told the house had nearly doubled in value.
But as she approached the front door, the woman who greeted her, her best friend of nearly ten years, looked disheveled and red-faced from crying. Her normally beautiful hair had been unwashed and she was dressed in her sweats and bare feet.
She reached out and Dorie fell into her arms. To the side and back of her head, she whispered, “Come on, just tell me about it. It’s going to be all right, Dorie. Don’t worry. This won’t last for long.”
Dorie released herself, pushing to arm’s length and studied Brandy’s face carefully. “You can’t tell anyone.”
“Tucker knows I’m here, but I didn’t tell him anything.” It was true, since Dorie didn’t go into much detail, just indicated that she needed her shoulder to cry on. “So explain please what’s happened.”
Brandy took up a spot on the living room couch and prepared herself for bad news. Dorie sat next to her and they held hands. “He’s been talking to old girlfriends again, or, rather, one old girlfriend. But I know there are others. He slept with someone before we got married.”
“Again? You said again.”
“Yes. Happened before we went up to Wine Country. He promised he’d hang up that life, but something snagged him.” She pulled a tissue from the box on the coffee table and blew her nose. “Or should I say someone snagged him. And it might be more than one former girlfriend.”
“Ah, Dorie. I’m so sorry. Are you sure?”
“He has this bimbo calling him all the time. Her profile picture was of her in her lace underwear—that is, until he erased it after I caught him.
“Could it just be innocent friendship?”
Dorie looked at her cross-eyed. “Brawley doesn’t do innocent. You know that. He’ll cut it right to the bone. He says he loves me, but I don’t know what’s going on. He can’t stop chasing other women. It’s getting to be that I don’t even want to go out with him any longer, he’s so preoccupied with women who cross our paths. He gives off the vibe or something and they come flocking to him.”
It was part of her own curiosity that made her ask the next question.
“Does he take any of the Team Guys with him, by chance?”
“Well, since your guy is pretty tied up with you, he hangs at the Scupper too long with some of the newbies. All his other regular guy friends seem not to want to have anything to do with him. I’m expecting a call from Kyle or Christy one of these days.”
Brandy was sorry for her friend.
“Honestly, some of those new recruits look and act so young. Like teenagers—who’ve been trained to act with deadly force. But they’re like a bunch of teenagers with guns. I worry sometimes they don’t have the maturity to—and, well, now look at Brawley. You’d think he’d have sense to just quit being in high school. And he’s so angry all the time. Little things set him off. That’s new. It scares me.”
Brandy touched her cheek. “It’s a handicap, Dorie. It’s a flaw, like someone who can’t stop spending. He has to want to get better and work on it. If he loves you, Dorie, he will. But you’ll probably have to call him on it, and demand it. You ready for all that?”
The beautiful blonde sighed. Brandy could not understand how Brawley could ever want anyone else. She was perfect in every way—the most flawless beauty she’d ever known. And she had a wonderful heart. Looks mattered little to her. She read people the right way. It was a shame.
“Dorie? You ready to take this on?”
Brandy’s stomach dropped to the floor when Dorie didn’t make eye contact. “You have to put a stop to it.” She squeezed her hand. “You have to be honest with yourself. You’re the one who gets hurt as a result if you just let it slide.”
Her friend jumped to her feet, pacing back and forth. “Ahhh!” she shouted to the ceiling. “I wish I could just understand what’s happened to him all of a sudden. I never remember his fuse being so short. It’s like something is wrong, and he doesn’t want to tell me.”
“You need counseling, Dorie. Get some help, or get with some of the other wives—call me!”
“Don’t be silly. Tucker is leaving very soon, right?”
“Um hum.”
“I can’t take up your precious time.”
“But Dorie, consider this. What if you’re in danger? Physical danger?”
“Oh, it’s not that bad. He’s just very prone to agitation. You know Brawley. He was never like that.”
Brandy admitted she’d always seen him as fairly easy to be around. “Do you feel comfortable just asking him what’s going on? Or, should you try this in front of a counselor?”
“I don’t want to go pouring my heart out right before he’s supposed to deploy. They get all keyed up and tight before they go. It’s like Brawley on steroids. Finding the right counselor will be hard for us.”
“Then you go. You get some assistance. Bounce everything off them and give yourself a break. I think you’re blaming yourself too much.”
Dorie nodded.
“And come stay with me, if you want. I’ll be all alone. I could use the company.
”
That brought a smile to her friend’s face. “You also have a lot to learn, my dear. When they’re gone, especially if you fight right beforehand, it hurts so bad. I feel so guilty. He’s putting his life out on the line, and I’m complaining about him not paying attention to me any longer when he’s home. The last deployment they lost a guy. I know that haunts him.”
Chapter 5
Tucker watched the little bedroom brighten, light filtering through Brandy’s sheer curtains. They did nothing to stop the oncoming morning. This was the day he’d be leaving. The day he was filled with both regret and excitement. He’d told himself he’d be prepared for this big event, but now discovered he was not. So he lay immobilized, allowing the early morning sun to work its magic.
Her window was open a crack allowing a soft breeze to wash over their bed. He was on his back, his right arm holding her sweaty body deliciously close while she slept. He’d miss seeing her wake up each morning. He’d be in a dorm room with five or six other men—most of them ten years or more his junior. And it would be just his luck to get a world-class snorer assigned to his group. He had all kinds of ways to get even with one of those.
He hadn’t doubted his decision to serve again in the Navy. He didn’t doubt he could pass the rigorous qualification course at BUD/S. He didn’t mind that two of his recent trainees were now going to be in the same class as their former instructor. He didn’t mind that another new recruit had taken his place as the lone civilian component to the next SEAL mission in Baja—an honor he was supposed to claim before they learned of his intention to re-join.
What he was concerned about was his thirty-nine year old body stressed and under pressure. The first time through, he was just a dumb kid who made it because he just wouldn’t quit. It didn’t mean anything to him back then. Now, it was different.
He knew guys in their late forties who still served. But most Team Guys served six or eight years on average, and less if you got injured. So, he wouldn’t be the oldest SEAL on Team 3, or wherever they put him, but he’d be the oldest in his class, and that bothered him.
SEALed At The Altar_Bone Frog Brotherhood Novel Page 3