Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Epilogue
Stryker’s Salvation
Savage Saints MC #3
By J. Lynn Lombard
Dedication
Self harm is real. This book is dedicated to those who’ve felt the need to hurt themselves to feel something. It’s touched my life in a way I never knew could.
You are strong.
You are beautiful.
You can do it.
If you ever need something, please reach for help. There’s always someone listening. Self harm isn’t something to brush under the rug. The struggle is real.
Copyright 2019
Cover Design Bite Me Graphics
This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locations are intended only to provide authenticity and are fictitious. All other characters and all incidents and dialogue are created in the author’s imagination and are not real. Do not copy, reproduce or quote anything without the author’s approval beforehand. The author reserves any and all rights to the book and the interaction between all characters involved
Warning,
There are parts in this book that have triggers. If you can’t handle, blood, harm, sex, murder or mayhem, go back because once you read the Savage Saints MC world, you can never go back.
If you’re still here, welcome to the world of Savage Saints…
Prologue
Stryker
The roar of my Harley Davidson Soft Tail drowns out the snide voices echoing in my head. Bouncing around inside my skull. They’ve been haunting me throughout my teenage years.
You’re worthless.
You’ll never be good enough.
Get the fuck out you evil, vile monster!
You’re just like your father.
That last one always crushed me. I’m just like my father. A man who I’ve never known. A man who took off on me when I was little and left me with her. She was worse than he was. His abandonment wasn’t nearly as bad as her abuse I endured when I was growing up.
As the dark night envelopes me, gripping my soul with her precious fingers, I drop into sixth gear and throttle the exquisite piece of machinery between my legs and ride.
I ride to chase the voices away.
I ride to protect my sanity.
I ride to forget.
The Savage Saints repair shop comes into view and memories of being shot by Drex fill my head. I rub the scar on my chest, trying to ease the ache and slow down. My heart is beating wildly against my chest when I pass the spot where I thought my life was ending. Regret flashed in my head that night. I vowed to myself if I lived through that, I would become a better man and not the vile monster I’ve always been accused of.
I did for a little while. I was the man she needed me to be. But the voices wouldn’t go away. They still don’t. They’re still there, front and center, stopping me from breaking free. The only way to quiet them is fucking, fighting or being near Holly. Just her touch alone is soothing. She’s the one woman who can quiet them and make me believe I can be a better man. But I always find a way to fuck that up.
“Stryker, you ready?” Kayne shouts over the rumble of my stopped bike.
I look around into the darkness. Only Kayne and I are out here. The rest of my brothers are inside waiting for me. When did I stop? How did I get here?
I turn off my bike and put the kickstand down. “Yup, let’s do this.” I crack my neck from side to side and climb off. The ticking of the motor is the only sound in the quiet night. I walk toward Kayne, the President of Savage Saints, and his deep blue eyes are staring right into me. Those eyes are reading deep into my soul. He knows something is up and after tonight, my past will come rearing its ugly head at me. I’ll have no choice but to face it head-on and take care of business.
“Come on, they’re waiting inside,” Kayne slaps me on the shoulder, squeezing it slightly.
I nod my head and follow him inside. Once we enter the side door, my eyes immediately zone in on the piece of shit strung up on chains in the middle of the shop. I don’t pay attention to anyone else in here. I can sense my brothers having my back, their eyes on me, watching and waiting but my focus is directly on this man. Memories of meeting this piece of shit on the road after a run fills my head. The way he came at me and my brothers out of nowhere, trying to run us off the road. The way we maneuvered his car to a stop. Him climbing out of his car, his haunting gray eyes pinning me to my bike. I gave into the rage and attacked him before he even knew what was going on.
I broke his nose. It’s bleeding down the front of his shirt. His eyes are swollen shut and his lips are busted and bleeding from my knuckles raining blows down onto his face. His body sways back and forth as he tries to grip the concrete floor with the tip of his toes. His hands are above his head being held by the thick chains. One chain is wrapped around his throat and the tail end is hanging down his back.
He struggles to open an eye. A maniacal laugh escapes his throat. “Well, looks like I underestimated you, Bobby.” He wheezes out. Images of a little boy flash in my head, frightened of the boogeyman with gray haunting eyes teasing and taunting him until he cries.
“No one calls me Bobby. Not anymore,” I make my way over to him and stop directly in front of this monster who’s haunted me my entire life. “Why are you here?”
“I’m owed a debt and I’m here to collect.” He grunts out, trying to breathe.
“I don’t owe you shit,” I growl and deliver a blow to his midsection causing him to gasp for breath. He loses his footing and scrambles to find it again.
“No, but your fa…” I grip the chain tight in my hand, cutting off his sentence.
“No one and I mean no one speaks that name. He isn’t my father.” I growl. When his face turns purple, I release the chain.
He coughs trying to catch his breath. “He owes me.” This man who’s tormented my existence wheezes out, cowering from me this time, not the other way around.
“He might, but I don’t. Say a prayer motherfucker. Cause you’re going to hell tonight and the devil is ready to dance.” I grip the chain around his throat pulling it tight and watch as the life drains from his swollen gray eyes. His feet kick and squirm until there’s no fight left and his body goes limp.
“Stryker,” Kayne settles his arm on mine. “It’s done brother, he’s gone. Let go and the prospects will dispose of his body.”
I release the chain and crumble to the ground. I break. I finally break. My past has come back in the form of this violent man. Instead of feeling relief, I only feel anger.
Anger at what I’ve done. Anger at myself. Anger at letting this man control me for most of my life. The voices come roaring back so loudly, I can hear nothing else.
You’re worthless.
You’ll never be good enough.
Get the fuck out you evil, vile monster!
You’re just like your father.
Just like your father.
Just like your father.
Chapter 1
Holly
>
It’s well past midnight and I’m sitting in my room, reading a new novel when Kayne’s bike roars down the driveway. I peek my head up, listening for the distinct sound of one man’s Harley who makes my heart thump heavy in my chest and my blood to race through my veins. The roar never comes.
“Hurry up! Get him in here quick!” Kayne shouts through the front door.
I throw my kindle to the side of the bed and I’m out of my room in a flash. Each time they go on a run, I worry about them all not returning. Especially Stryker. I don’t have the faintest idea why I care so much about a man who hurt me in the past, but I do. And from the fear in Kayne’s voice, now I’m in a full panic attack.
“Get him in his room. NOW!” Kayne’s command has my feet moving forward fast. Blayde and Rooster have Stryker propped between them, hauling him in through the front door. His lifeless body drags between the two. I unlock and open his bedroom door with a key he gave me a long time ago and watch helplessly as they carry him to the bed. His face is a bloody mess. His clothes are dirty and ripped and he’s passed out.
“What happened?” I ask anyone who will answer.
No one says a word. They all look at Kayne staring at Stryker on his bed. Stryker’s breathing is even and he doesn’t seem to be in any danger but these boys I call family are about to find my wrath if they don’t answer me.
“What happened?” I ask again.
Blayde clenches and unclenched his fists, the look that passes across his face scares me a little. He looks like he’s going to go off the deep end but no one else moves. I walk up to Stryker and kneel by his bed. I push his dirty blonde hair off his forehead, checking for any cuts or anything that needs medical attention.
No one has still said a word and my rage is moving towards being full blown. I stand up from next to Stryker and push Blayde in the chest. I can’t go after Kayne because he’s our President, but everyone else is free rein. I push Blayde so hard, I catch him off guard and he stumbles back a few steps. His blue eyes look down at me with pity.
“Answer me now! If no one can, get the fuck out.” Red dons my vision at the pitying looks everyone is giving me. “Get out! Get the fuck out now. All of you!” I scream.
“Holly, wait.” Blayde finally says raising his hands up in defense.
“No, you wait. I asked what happened. No one wants to answer, so all of you can go to hell and get the fuck out! I’m done with all these little games.” I point at the door. “Get the fuck out now,” I growl, surprising myself. I’ve never raised my voice to anyone or swore as much as these guys are making me right now.
I shock Kayne. He opens and closes his mouth a few times but nods his head to the boys in here. They all file out one by one. Blayde and Kayne are the only ones left.
“Holly, listen,” Kayne hisses.
I rein in my temper and exhale through my nose. “Kayne, I’m trying really hard to not flip my shit. No one wants to talk so I’m handling it. If you can’t tell me anything, fine. But I’m not leaving him. Not like this.” Tears are swimming in my vision.
“I know and he needs you. Unless he tells you what happened, I can’t. I’m sorry.” Kayne hugs me tenderly and releases me.
“I know. I’m sorry I flipped. I just.” I clear my throat of the emotions choking me. “I’m not leaving him.”
“OK. Let me know if you need anything or if he comes to and you can’t handle it. It was bad tonight. I’m not going anywhere.” Kayne reassures me.
“Thank you.”
I watch Kayne and Blayde walk out of Stryker’s bedroom with their heads down and shoulders hunched forward, sadness wrapping around them.
I turn back around toward Stryker. What is it about this man lying here bloody and beaten that I can’t get out of my heart? I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried to stay away but no matter what I say or do, I can never leave him.
I walk into the bathroom attached to his bedroom and grab a washcloth. I wet it in the sink and walk back into his room. Wiping away the blood from his face softly, I whisper. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Please, come back.”
Stryker stirs a little but doesn’t wake up. I carefully remove his cut and place it gently on his dresser. Then I remove his ripped t-shirt and check his hard muscular body over for cuts. My fingers ghosting across the tattoo’s hiding his scars. There’s only bruising on his knuckles. I trace the snake tattoo trailing up his chest to his neck with the tips of my fingers. I try not to swoon from the way his body is built, but he’s a hot as hell man and I can’t help it.
I remove his riding boots and socks and set them on the floor next to his bed. Next, I unbutton and unzip his pants. This is a part of him I haven’t seen yet, not this way.
After Drex shot Stryker, I took care of him. I thought we were moving in the right direction of a real relationship but that was short-lived. After a run he went on when he was healed, I caught him fucking a patch whore once, but he was never undressed. Just his pants around his ass and she was bent over, taking it from behind. I remember being so angry with him, I went crazy. I lost my damn mind and hit the bitch, surprising us all. Stryker tried to explain and apologize but I was done. That was the last straw and I stayed away from him the best I could. But the heart wants what it wants and it wants him to be mine.
He belongs to me.
Some people say once a cheater always a cheater, but what those people don’t understand is that we weren’t together. Not Ol’ Lady and her man. He had free rein to do whoever he wanted and so did I. But I never did. I couldn’t. Not after the abuse I suffered in the past. I still bear the scars today.
After that one time, Stryker changed. He gave me more attention and ignored the whores. No one but me noticed. He lavishes me with gifts to make up for his mistake. But I don’t want his gifts. I want his heart. I just want him. His brooding ass and everything that makes Stryker who he is.
I tug off his jeans and cover him with a blanket once I’m sure there are no injuries to the rest of his body. He slightly shifts and mumbles in his sleep, scaring the shit out of me. I brush his hair off his forehead and tenderly run my fingers through it. Wishing he’d wake up.
I move to the side of the bed, debating if I want to leave or stay when his strong hand grips mine. His bright blue eyes open a tad.
“Holly, stay,” Stryker whispers, “please.” His eyes flutter shut. His long black lashes rest against his strong cheeks. He’s back asleep in seconds but his warm calloused hand is still holding onto mine. Slipping out of Stryker’s grip, I turn off his light, lock the door and crawl into his bed against my better judgment and settle next to him. I wrap my arm around Stryker’s waist, listening to his breathing even out and his heart beating strong against his chest.
Even when Stryker was shot, I never fell asleep in his arms. He never asked me to stay nor did he say please. He was an asshole but I did what needed to be done. It was never like this. I have never felt this safe in the arms of a man but tonight, I do. Tonight I feel like I can let my guard down and actually sleep.
I’m almost asleep when Stryker whispers into the darkness of his room, “Thank you.”
A smile graces my lips from those two little words that mean more to me than anyone could know. I do something I’ve never done before. I fall asleep in the arms of a man who makes me feel safe, loved and cherished just from those two little words.
Chapter 2
Stryker
My body aches and my muscles cry in protest when I wake up. My room is dark telling me it’s still late in the night. I can’t see anything. Warm fingers inch their way up my chest, lightly touching the fine hairs.
Oh shit. What did I do last night? Who’s here with me? I hope I didn’t fuck up and bring a patch whore in here. If Holly finds out, she will flip her shit again. I haven’t been with anyone since that one time she caught me with Candy. The devastating look in her brown eyes shattered my heart. I never want to be that man again.
I swallow past the lump in my throat wh
en light breathing fans across my neck. I fight back a shiver when the scent of lilac and everything that’s Holly flow into my senses. I’m comfortable and at peace for the first time ever in my life. No voices come roaring back in my head. No teasing and taunting in my subconscious mind.
I try to remember what happened last night, but everything is blank. The last thing I remember is showing up at the repair shop. The rest is blurry and faded, just out of my reach. Steel-grey eyes haunt me in the darkness and I move to get up. Holly’s small fingers hold me down.
“Don’t move,” Holly whispers into the darkness. Her voice is sexy with sleep sending a shock to my aching dick. I hear her shuffling beside me and the bed raise. I hear Holly moving but I don’t see her yet. Holly makes her way across my room and turns the light on. I squeeze my eyes shut from the harsh light hurting my head. She flips the light off and I open my eyes again. “Sorry, let me turn on the bathroom light.”
A few seconds later, the bathroom light is on casting my room in shadows but Holly’s outline in the door is breathtaking. She looks like an angel standing there in her tiny purple sleeping shorts and matching top. Her nipples are hard against the fabric. Her brown curly hair is all over the place. I swallow hard and try to sit up. My body aches in protest but I’ll be damned if I let a little pain stop me from moving. A painful grunt rips through my throat and Holly is next to me in a flash, helping me sit up. Her tits are right in my face and I do everything I can to not stare down the front of her little top, but I’m me, I can’t help it.
“You know,” I say through clenched teeth, still staring down the front of her tiny tank top. “If you wanted to sleep with me, all you had to do was ask.” Holly shivers when my breath rolls across her exposed flesh. She swats my chest causing pain to shoot through my body and I grind my teeth, breathing hard.
“Shit, sorry.” Holly apologizes, her brown eyes are wide with panic.
“Am I really that bad?” I ask.
Holly nods her head. “Do you want to tell me what happened? No one would say a word and I kicked them all out last night.”
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