by Lenora Worth
“They danced into bed.” He chucked her under the chin. “And that’s what you’re doing right now. Dancing in your dreams.” He slipped off the mattress and kissed her cheek. “Good night, sweetheart.”
“Night, Daddy.” She didn’t open her eyes, but a faint smile stole to her lips.
His chest tightened realizing the mistake he’d made for so long. He’d allowed his concern to seep into her mind. Children weren’t dumb. They sensed things the same as adults. They just didn’t know how to process it. He thanked the Lord for the awareness.
He set the book on her lamp table and made his way to the door, turning off the light. In the hallway, he breathed a sigh and checked his watch. Still early enough to call Renee.
After filling a glass with milk, he settled in the living room, then pulled out his cell phone and pressed in the number. It rang four times before someone picked up. He feared it would be Renee’s husband, Dwight, but she finally said hello. It dawned on him, she had caller ID and had probably considered not answering.
“Is something wrong with Kaylee?” Her voice edged with tension.
“No. She’s fine, Renee. I’m sorry to call late, but I wanted to tuck Kaylee in first.”
Silence.
He gathered his thoughts. She suspected something.
“What’s this about?” Her question sounded tenuous.
“It’s about Gina. Where is she, Renee?” His palm felt damp against the phone. “Don’t play games with me, please. Just tell me the truth.”
“Did Kaylee say something to you?”
“No, but why shouldn’t she?” The truth struck him, and his anger rose. “Did you tell her not to tell me? Is that it?”
“If she didn’t say something, how do you know Gina’s not here?”
His fingers gripped the phone as tight as a vise. “Did you tell Kaylee not to say anything to me?”
“Yes, Devon. I did.”
He boiled. “Don’t ever do that again to my daughter. Don’t ever put her in a position to lie to me or hold problems back. I won’t stand for it.”
“Face facts, Devon. I’m raising your daughter because her mother’s incapable, and—”
“Hold on.” Incapable. The word smacked him. “What do you mean incapable?”
“I don’t have to tell you. Gina’s had problems for years and it’s only gotten worse.”
“Where is she now?”
“Hospitalized from a prescription drug overdose.”
His gasp reverberated into the phone. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why keep it a secret?”
“Gina doesn’t want to worry you.”
“Or stir up trouble. Isn’t that closer to the truth?” His body trembled with frustration.
“Probably.”
Confusion and concern knotted in his chest. He needed to think. He needed to act.
“Devon, don’t do anything drastic. Kaylee’s fine with us, and I know your work schedule isn’t conducive to caring for her full-time.”
His schedule was a convenient excuse but not anymore. “I need to think, Renee. Let’s drop this for now, and I’ll get back to you.” A new thought slipped into his mind. “Will Gina be all right?”
“This time.”
The answer struck him like a steamroller. “I’m glad. I’ll talk to you later, but please don’t put Kaylee in that situation again. It’s not fair to her to keep secrets from me.”
“I’m sorry. I was following Gina’s request.”
“You’re the healthy one. Gina isn’t. Do what you know is right.”
“I will.”
He thanked her and hung up, his body quaking with shock. He had a problem to solve. Kaylee deserved a whole parent, one who loved her with all his heart. He had to act now.
Chapter Nine
Ashley maneuvered her crutches through the hall doorway while Neely held it open. Devon had picked up Joey as promised, but hadn’t had the opportunity to tell her what he’d learned about Gina with the kids present. She was eager to hear what had happened.
“Thanks.” She swung her leg forward as they made their way toward the office door. On her way, she’d noticed two large banquet rooms, both with lovely chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, large round tables and a wall of windows looking out to the setting beyond.
Neely pointed. “The hall looking into the garden is ours.”
Admiring the view a moment, Ashley shifted forward and looked into the second room. The setting through the window appeared to be a patio with a large fountain, today not spouting water, but she assumed it did for varying events. She agreed with Ashley’s choice, preferring the garden that would be a lovely summer setting.
A woman appeared from the office, her hand extended. “Neely Andrews, I assume. I’m Jessica Rushford.”
Neely greeted her and introduced Ashley.
She beckoned them back into the office. “Let’s talk menu first and then decor.”
Ashley heard them talking and tried to wrap her mind around the menu, but the details escaped her. Instead, her thoughts were on Devon, the double problem. The first was Devon’s situation with Gina and getting the details of her absence from Renee. The second problem was her own. How could she stop herself from falling in love with a man she could never marry?
Then she considered Joey. Devon had won the boy’s heart without trying. He’d learned Devon’s name although she never knew how it would come out. Joey often said Debon. It made her chuckle.
Chicken with artichokes and capers. The dish brought her back to the task at hand. She forced her attention to the conversation.
“What do you think, Ash?”
She eyed Neely, having no idea if she was talking about the chicken or some other dish. “Everyone likes chicken.”
“No, I meant the stuffed pork loin. That’s different.” Neely pointed at the banquet menu. “Or we could go with the beef.” She curled her nose.
The look gave Ashley the clue. “Pork is different. Everyone has beef.”
“Good. That’s what I thought.”
As Neely settled on the potato dish, vegetables and salads, Ashley sailed back to her own quandary. Could she and Devon remain friends? No more touches. Avoid the looks that became kisses. Could she do it?
Why not? She could if she wanted to avoid his romantic overtures, but that’s the question she couldn’t answer. The look in Devon’s eyes drew her in and tangled her in threads of longing. Being touched, feeling a man’s hand on hers, his arm embracing her, the feel of his lips against hers, she’d missed those feelings since Adam flew off for duty. She’d almost forgotten how amazing it had been wrapped in the feelings of being special and loved.
Not that she knew Devon loved her. The question jarred her mind. He was caring and tender. Was his kiss one of romance or one of...? Why did she try to fool herself? She could tell a friendly peck on the cheek from a kiss that held promise. Devon had feelings for her. She didn’t know the depth, but she knew they were real. And if she were honest, so were hers.
“Ash.”
Her head twisted toward Neely, hoping her eyes didn’t look as glazed as they felt. “What?”
“You’re here to help me. I don’t think you’re listening.”
“I am...sort of. My mind wandered for a minute.” Ten minutes. Maybe fifteen.
Her sister shoved a paper into her hand. “Look at this. What do you think?”
She scanned the wedding menu—traditional appetizers o
f veggies and dip, cheese and crackers, with entrées the two meats she’d discussed with Neely, potatoes au gratin, mixed vegetables, a variety of salads, dinner rolls and a buffet of minidesserts. “It looks wonderful. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“Naturally we’ll have a wedding cake, too.” Neely took back the menu and handed it to Jessica. “And a punch to be served with the appetizers.”
“Certainly.” Jessica made a note on the paper. “That’s a given, but you can have a fruit punch with sherbet or one that’s less fruity that the gentlemen usually prefer.”
“That would be fine. We need to please everyone.”
Ashley agreed, mainly to let her sister know she’d been listening. She had to stay focused.
“Now, I’ll prepare a copy of this for you while you and your sister look through this album that shows the available colors for the linens and some of our table centerpieces.” She rose, set the album on the table beside them and left the room.
Neely opened the cover, but instead of looking at the pictures, she shook her head and stared at Ashley. “What’s wrong with you? You’re off in Wonderland.”
“No, I’m...I’m just—”
A concerned look flew to Neely’s face. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think when I asked you to come that you might think back to your own wed—”
“Neely, no.” She touched her sister’s arm. “It’s not that at all. My mind is on a multitude of things, but mainly my relationship with Devon.”
“What happened? Did he do something to—”
“Nothing. He did nothing.” Other than kiss me. “It’s me. He’s wonderful, and I like him more than I can say, but I can’t get involved with him. I can’t let myself do that. I’d hurt him and myself because no matter how much I’d like to, I can’t form a relationship with a man whose job puts his life in danger daily. I can’t.”
“Did he lead you to believe he wants more than a friendship?” She slipped her hand on Ashley’s shoulder. “I know he’s around some, but maybe he’s just lonely and wants a friend.”
“That’s what I told myself until...”
Neely’s eyes widened. “What? Until what?”
Ashley knew she’d blown it, and she didn’t have time to discuss the whole thing before Jessica came back. “Let’s look at the album. We can discuss this later.”
“Until what?” Determination glinted on Neely’s face.
“He kissed me.”
“He did?”
The memory washed over her. “And I kissed him back.”
Neely sat unmoving for a moment. “I can’t say I’m not glad, Ash. He’s a really nice guy, and I want you to find someone in your life who can fill the emptiness you’ve felt since the tragedy with—”
“And live day in and day out waiting for another person to come to my door and tell me my husband died trying to save someone’s life.” No matter how she fought her emotion, tears blurred her vision. “I can’t do it.”
Neely’s hand grasped hers. “Ash, I—”
“How are you doing, ladies?” Jessica’s voice pierced the conversation.
“Sorry, we got sidetracked.” Neely chuckled. “You know, two sisters with a million things to talk about.” She turned to Ashley. “Let’s finish this so Jessica can get back to work.” She shifted the album so they could both see it and discussed color scheme.
Ashley did her best to focus. They could talk later, but the problem was hers, and all the talk in the world couldn’t change a thing.
* * *
Devon watched Kaylee crouch through the colorful tunnel of tubes and head for the slide. Joey followed. He loved seeing the two children play. Today Kaylee had behaved like a big sister.
He’d decided a fast-food treat with a play area would help pass the time and keep them entertained. He didn’t realize how entertained he would be watching them. Having fun had escaped him for too long. He hadn’t realized until Ashley came into his life. She’d become his fresh air, one without smoke and danger. A life with smiles and laughter, with spontaneous moments. One with a kiss he longed to repeat.
Ashley’s comments of friendship, not commitment, concerned him, though he understood and agreed. They both had issues. He needed to resolve the situation with Gina. He wanted the truth, and Ashley longed for something, but a something he couldn’t put his finger on. Some days he sensed Ashley still loved her husband so much that she couldn’t release the devotion and look ahead at life. Other times, he tossed out the idea. She had grown beyond that, although she would never stop loving his memory. He admired that. It meant she’d found a true love and for some reason the Lord had chosen to take that love from her.
But for what? Was it for him? Would God do that? The idea seemed ludicrous. War wasn’t God’s doing. Evil caused war. Selfish, immoral individuals wanting what didn’t belong to them, striving to stamp out lives they didn’t value. That wasn’t God’s doing. He preserved life so it could be abundant. He remembered hearing that in church years back with Gina. He liked the idea of an abundant life. Not money. He knew it wasn’t that kind of abundance, but an abundance of joy and health and well-being serving the Lord and praising Him. Walking in His steps.
He’d forged his own trail, and time had come to detour back to the path set for him. What that plan was he didn’t know, but he wanted to trust. He wouldn’t have Kaylee over the weekend, but he wanted to attend worship anyway.
When Joey wanted to play in the bin of colorful balls—a sea of color that rolled and pitched like waves, Kaylee said she’d rather not. They shifted closer so he could keep an eye on Joey and see what was up with Kaylee. Her earlier giggles had passed, and a serious look showed in her eyes.
He sat on the edge of a nearby bench, giving a wave to Joey, but while his eyes were on him, he drew Kaylee closer. “Are you sad about something?” He glanced her way.
She gave a shrug.
Her demeanor let him know she had a problem. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”
“If I do, I’m doing something bad.”
Her head lowered, and his heart broke. “Bad in what way?”
“Aunt Renee told me not to say stuff and I want to.”
His pulse jumped, hoping. “Is it a bad word?”
A faint grin dissipated her tense face. “Daddy, I don’t say bad words.”
“Good. Then if it’s not a bad word, you can say it if it’s the truth.” He gave her a squeeze. “Is it?”
Kaylee nodded. “Mommy’s in the hospital.”
“And you weren’t supposed to tell me.” He knew why, but he wondered about her understanding.
“She said so you wouldn’t worry, and—” she turned to face him “—Mommy’s afraid you will want me to live with you.”
His chest constricted. “Would that upset you?”
“No.” She slipped her arm around his back. “I want to. We have fun, and you teach me to bake.”
“But life’s not always fun, Kaylee. I have to go to work, too, so I’d have to have someone take care of you while I’m gone. You know I work two whole days at a time.”
“Ashley could watch me.” She searched his eyes.
His chest ached. “She likes you a lot, but I don’t know about that. We’d have to see what we could work out.”
“But maybe?”
Her desire to live with him hugged his heart, yet worry tried to pry it away. Having Kaylee live with him would be problematic. Yet it was what he wanted. Kaylee needed security and a parent
’s guidance. Renee had made a valiant effort, but she was an aunt not a mother or father who loved Kaylee dearly. “Let’s see what happens, sweetheart.”
He knew Renee would fight him, as would Gina if she knew, but Kaylee had admitted preferring to live with him, and that was all he needed to know.
Kaylee rested her cheek against his. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you with all my heart, Kaylee.” He turned his face to hers. “Thank you for being honest. Your aunt Renee shouldn’t ask you to keep secrets from me. I understand why she did, but I want you to know that you can tell me anything. I won’t get angry at you. We’ll work things out together. Do you understand?”
“We’ll work things out together.” The faint smile curved her lips. “Me and you.”
“Me and you.” He wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
* * *
Ashley slipped from Devon’s car and opened the backdoor. While Joey squirmed to get loose from the car seat, she unsnapped the belts, and he grinned. “There you go, big boy.” She opened her arms and he reached for her.
Devon stepped beside her and hoisted Joey into his arms. “Where does he go for Sunday school? I’ll take him for you.”
She gave him directions as she hobbled on behind them across the parking lot, and before she reached the sidewalk, Devon had returned.
“No problem. Joey knew exactly where to go.” He stepped beside her and moved along with her to the front of the church and up the two steps into the building.
Devon looked around as they entered, his curiosity not easy to hide. “Very nice.” He pointed into the sanctuary. “I love the stained-glass windows. They’re beautiful.”
“I find solace in them, too. The prisms of color find their way across the seats and spread out on the carpet like a rainbow.”
“Isn’t that God’s promise.”
She grinned. “It sure is.” He placed his hand on her back and avoided bumping the crutch out from under her.
He pointed to a back row. “Do you want to sit here?” His gaze shot to her crutches. “Or are you willing to tackle the walk?”