toad
Victoria Falls
Village Idiot (Personal Account)
Volunteer Fire Man (Personal Account)
vomit
after Oktoberfest
clue for investigators
Wades With Sharks (Honorable Mention)
Warm Snakes (Honorable Mention)
Watch Out for That Tree! (Darwin Award)
Watch Where You’re Going (Personal Account)
waterfall, Niagara Falls
welding
Welding Warning (Honorable Mention)
What I Can Still Do (Darwin Award)
wheelchair
White Russians (Honorable Mention)
Why There Are Darwin Awards (Introduction)
Wild Wheelchair Ride (Personal Account)
Workin’ at the Car Wash (Darwin Award)
“A do-it-yourself circumcision,”
“A dull blade is the most dangerous weapon,”
“A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do,”
“A pure neurotoxin—it gives you a buzz,”
“A victim of his own good deed,”
“All of a sudden, fire shot from his pocket,”
“Bill felt a sudden urge to see what it looked like from the inside,”
“Both the twigs and berries were burned,”
“C’mere, I’ve got something to show you,”
“Despite the howling winds, she climbed on the roof,”
“Firecrackers can’t hurt you!”
“He considered and rejected the long walk down,”
“He decided to use the wasted space in the engine bay,”
“He instructed everyone to step back, and lit the wick,”
“He knew it wasn’t a good idea from the start,”
“He raised his hairless eyebrows and said, ‘No more!’”
“He said it couldn’t explode. His friends disagreed,”
“He thought he could jump, roll, and stand,”
“He was a big fan of reality TV and high-risk stunts,”
“He was completely hysterical,”
“His curiosity piqued, he bent over for a closer look,”
“‘I can do it,’ he insisted,”
“I couldn’t see, I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t walk,”
“I hurt in places I didn’t know could hurt,”
“I want it closer in. Have another shot,”
“I want to be the jerk that flirts with death…”
“If only they had duct taped him to his wheelchair,”
“Ignoring Coast Guard warnings David…”
“It doesn’t happen every day,”
“It falls into a legal gray area,”
“It was a mid-age crisis,”
“It was an accident waiting to happen,”
“It was one of my most embarrassing moments,”
“Luckily it lodged in the motor area of the brain,”
“Maybe I used too much paper,”
“Mental note: use a shorter bungee cord next time,”
“One of the smartest guys I ever met,”
“Rules prohibit under-flights, over-jumps, and other aberrant behavior,”
“See what I can still do!”
“Sharp pointy things,”
“She laughed off police advice, and continued on…”
“Shoot ’em off before she gets here!”
“Speeding like a maniac, drinking like a fish,”
“The explosion shook the block,”
“There’s ordinary foolishness, and extraordinary foolishness,”
“They thought it would be all ha, ha and funny,”
“They walked past signs warning of the danger,”
“This was an extremely unusual occurrence,”
“Too much alcohol…”
“Turns out Nguyen was wrong!”
“Twice he asked his relative to cease and desist,”
“Watch, I’ll prove it,”
“‘We do caution people against these acts,’ said police,”
“We never thought of that!”
“What could happen? What indeed…”
“Who’s going to contact the Darwin Awards, then?”
“Why take the time to put the car up on blocks?”
“Wielding his bayonet, he leaped toward one of his men,”
“Within seconds, the natural justice system meeted out his punishment,”
“Yes, he admitted, there was an eel inside him,”
“You want to get up, or you’ll be run over,”
“You’ll never take me alive, copper!”
*Homage to Christine Lavin’s song, “Don’t Ever Call Your Sweetheart by His Name”
1WADES WITH SHARKS
2ICARUS
3DARING FEET
4CHICKEN TO GO
5KILLS BUGS DEAD
6CHIMNEY-CLEANING GRENADE
7WELDING WARNING
8CLEAN BRAKE
9DYING FOR A CIGGIE
10GUN-SAFETY NONSENSE
11HAPPY CAMPER
1BAKED BULLET SURPRISE
2ROCKETING TO GLORY
3TESTOSTERONE, CHICKENS, AND GUNS
4HUMAN PAPER TOWEL
5JUICE ME UP!
6TREE VS. MAN
7WILD WHEELCHAIR RIDE
8A MEDICAL FIRST AT OKTOBERFEST
9WHAT I CAN STILL DO
10FREEWAY DANGLER, page 157
*Intelligent Design is Involved in the Origin of The Species (IDIOTS).
*Maui Jim sunglasses retail for as much as $200.
*Which is why the instructions warn NEVER to place the lamp directly on a heat source, such as a stove.
*http://www.visualexpert.com/Resources/mistakenid.html
†Huff, C. Ronald. 2003. “Wrongful Conviction: Causes and Public Policy Issues.” Criminal Justice Spring 2003, 18 (1).
*http://www.psy.mq.edu.au/staff/kip/PL7.htm has most of the eyewitness-inaccuracy info, plus more references.
†Sagan, Carl. The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark. Ballantine Books, 1997.
*“Recovered Memories: Recent Events and Review of Evidence.” Interview with Harrison G. Pope Jr., M.D. Currents in Affective Illness, XIII (7), July 1994, 5–12.
†DNA analysis is commonly claimed to be 99.99% accurate. http://www.dost.gov.ph/media/article.php?sid=488
†DNA analysis is commonly claimed to be 99.99% accurate. http://www.dost.gov.ph/media/article.php?sid=488
*USA Today, posted June 3, 2004, by Richard Willing, describes a few problems with identical twins. http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2004-06-03-twinsdna_x.htm
*http://www.psy.mq.edu.au/staff/kip/PL7.htm has most of the eyewitness-inaccuracy info, plus more references.
*www.DarwinAwards.com/book/liposuction.html
The Darwin Awards 4: Intelligent Design Page 20