by Baker, Apryl
“I don’t know,” she said. “I touched her and then I was there. I couldn’t talk or move. I was being burned, Daddy, just like they told us in kindergarten.”
“Have you ever had this dream before?” he asked her.
“No.”
“I do,” I piped in. “All the time.”
“All the time?”
“Even fore they told us about it.”
His eyes nearly popped out of his head. “CJ, did you ever tell anyone about your dreams? Maybe Mama?”
I shook my head. “No, Daddy.”
He let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good, baby. Daddy’s going to make them go away forever. Don’t be afraid. I have to see the dream first for it to work. When I wake up, you’ll never have that awful dream again, baby. Either of you. Now, both of you take Daddy’s hand.”
Never have that bad dream again? I latched onto Daddy’s hand. He smiled.
“Spirit, I ask thee to free her from this burden,
In this time, in this place, I call it into me.
Show me now what she sees and forever let it be.”
Daddy fell backwards onto the bed. Emily and I waited for him to wake up. As the minutes passed, we forgot the dream.
I forgot the dream.
Until now.
Chapter Twenty Two
The screams woke me up. I wished whoever it was would just shut the hell up. My head felt like it was going to explode.
“CJ, please wake up.” Kay’s voice penetrated the screams, but she sounded far away.
Where was I? I was so hot. My skin felt like it was on fire. Wait. Fire. I was on fire!
I tried to sit up, but couldn’t. Something held me down. I fought to get away, kicking and tearing at the bonds holding me. I could feel the heat of the flames singe my hair, feel it burn my skin. I was burning.
“CJ!” Someone shook me hard. “Stop it!”
My eyes snapped open and I realized the screams were coming from me. My own screams were what woke me. So real. It was all so real. But I wasn’t burning. It was only a dream, I reminded myself forcefully as I had Kay so many times before. Only a dream.
“Please, CJ,” Kay whispered, kneeling beside of me. “Just be okay.”
I tried to tell her I was fine, but my throat hurt. No words came out, only a garbled, hoarse croak.
“Billy, get her a glass of water,” Jeff demanded. He gazed at me with worry, his fingers still digging into my arms.
“Here.” Billy shoved a glass of water at Kay and Jeff pulled me up so she could help me drink. I took several gulps and then curled into Jeff, wrapping my arms around him. His familiar smell helped to calm the panic. He was real. The dream wasn’t.
“Shh,” he soothed. “You’re okay now, hon. You’re fine.”
I had been fine until I remembered everything, until I remembered what Daddy did. He took the nightmares from me. I’d just invited it back in. He’d known then what it was. It was more than just a dream. It was a memory. Emily had seen it when she touched me. She was gifted with visions, so when she touched me, of course she’d seen it. Dad had erased the memory from both our minds. I’d seen what happened that night even before they’d told us about it in school. Eighteen. Sara Bishop had been eighteen when she died. My ancestor, my eighteenth birthday. It all tied together somehow. I just needed to figure out how.
“What happened to her?” Kay asked.
I shuddered at the memory her words brought back. The heat of the fire had kissed my skin, the smoke choked me. Screams had echoed around me and chants…chants? Yes, I’d heard it, the curse, but the dream was just too muddled right now. Laura’s fear had overridden every other thought. It was still too raw to sort out, but later, maybe I could get it to come back to me. Maybe I didn’t need anyone to give me the answers. Maybe I already had them buried inside.
“You don’t remember?” Billy sounded shocked. “You did this to her, Kay.”
“I did not!” she denied. “I would never do anything to hurt CJ!”
“Stop,” I muttered hoarsely. “She doesn’t…remember.”
“What?” Jeff looked at me in confusion.
“The spell…it…made her…forget.” I reached for the glass of water. My throat was on fire.
“CJ, where did you learn that kind of spell?” Billy asked. “They don’t teach us that until years after we graduate from the Junior Coven.”
I shrugged. No way was I telling them Dad had cast it on me. My stomach cramped up something fierce just at the thought of it. My instincts didn’t think it was a good idea to mention that little fact and neither did I. “Don’t know. It just sorta came to me.”
He frowned. I could see the wheels turning in his head. I wished I knew what Coven Boy was thinking.
“CJ, what did you make me forget?” Kay frowned at me.
“Your dream. You’ve dreamed of being burnt at the stake since you were five. Tonight, it was really bad. Something was wrong. I don’t know, but I was really afraid. I knew if you didn’t wake up in that minute, you might never wake up.”
“Dammit, CJ, do you know how dangerous that was?” Jeff glared down at me with furious eyes. “You didn’t just make her forget. You took it into yourself. You could have died!”
“I’m fine,” I tried to soothe him. He was right, though. Kay almost had died. If I hadn’t taken it from her, she probably would have. I don’t think the dream was ever her burden to bear. That’s why it was so hard for her. It was my burden and my dad had taken it from me. Kay and I were connected. We always had been. The dream must have somehow transferred to her when its path to me was blocked. I knew I was right, the same way I’d known something would happen to her if I didn’t wake her up. I just didn’t know how I knew.
“You’re not fine,” Jeff snarled. “You can barely talk, you’re shaking, and you look like you’re ready to pass out.”
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kay and Billy exchange a look and then glance back at us. If they didn’t know how Jeff felt before, they did now. Great.
“Really, Jeff, I’m fine. Just let me up.” I pushed away from him and tried to stand. My head started to spin. Okay, so maybe I wasn’t up to standing just yet.
“Sit!” he shouted and caught me before I pitched forward. “I swear, CJ, sometimes I think you’re the most stubborn person I know.”
“CJ, Jeff’s right,” Kay threw her raven hair over her shoulder. “Just sit still for a minute.”
“Fine,” I agreed, “but I want some answers.”
“Answers?” Billy’s voice became stilted, guarded.
“I want to know about the curse.”
Kay’s mouth dropped open. “How do you know about that?”
Billy’s eyes skimmed to Jeff. I couldn’t let them think Neighbor Boy gave away trade secrets. “The dream.”
“The dream?” Jeff frowned.
“I saw everything, heard everything.” I felt it all, from the first piece of rotten food to the heat of the fire as it burned and blackened my skin. Stop it, CJ, I told myself. Focus now, panic later.
“CJ, I can’t tell you about that,” Kay told me and took my hand. “I would tell you everything if I could.”
“Why not?”
“Do you know what a binding spell is?” I nodded for her to continue. “We can’t say a word. Literally. The spell prevents us from discussing it with anyone outside the Coven.”
“Doesn’t matter, I guess,” I sighed.
“Why doesn’t it matter?” Billy all but snarled. Yup, Coven Boy was starting to realize I knew more than I was supposed to.
“I was there, remember? I heard the curse, Billy. It’s a little muddled right now, but eventually I will remember it all.”
“The dream, it was more than a nightmare wasn’t it?” Jeff pulled me closer.
“It’s a memory,” I agreed.
“Memory?” Kay asked, puzzled. “CJ, what’s going on?”
“Yeah, CJ, what’s going on?” Billy glowered at me.
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“You tell me, Billy.”
Kay looked from me to Billy. Her face went from puzzled to concerned. “Billy?”
“She knows things she’s not supposed to,” he snapped. “How did you learn about transference spells, CJ? They don’t even begin to teach us that until we’ve been a full member of the Coven for at least five years.”
“I told you, I don’t know. It just came to me.”
“Bullshit,” he growled. “Who’s teaching you?”
He took a step toward me, anger written in every movement of his body. The panic I’d been trying to keep at bay leapt to life. He looked angry enough to do me some real harm to get the answers he wanted. My stomach knotted. A strong wind surrounded me and spread outward, catching Billy and throwing him backwards into the wall. He struck his head and didn’t move.
Kay jumped up and ran over to him. What had I done?
“Is he okay?” Jeff asked. I gazed in horror.
“He’s breathing. I think she just knocked him out,” Kay sighed in relief. “CJ?”
What was I supposed to tell her? I didn’t have any of the answers.
“Look, CJ, it’s just you, me, and Jeff,” Kay said softly and rejoined us. “You can tell us.”
“She’s been able to invoke the Elements since she was six,” Jeff blurted.
I glared up at him. I’d told him that in confidence.
“CJ, is that true?” Kay demanded. “And how does Jeff know and not me?”
“I’ve been helping her,” he confessed. “I might not be able to tell her anything, but the rules don’t say I can’t teach her the basics.”
Kay’s expression became worried. “Jeff, if anyone finds out…”
“They won’t,” I said. “Unless you tell them.”
She sighed. “You know I’m not going to say anything.”
“The reason I told you is because I was thinking. Do you remember what they told us about people born to be true Coven leaders?”
Kay frowned. “Yeah, but I don’t see what that has to do with anything, Jeff.”
“It has to do with everything,” he argued. “She’s…”
“Wait,” I interrupted. “What are you talking about?”
“A true Coven leader is born with certain gifts and affinities,” Jeff explained. “Being able to manipulate the Elements at an early age is a sign of it. They have an inborn spelling ability too. CJ, you wrote that truth spell when the combined efforts of the Coven couldn’t.”
“Shit,” Kay whispered. “You could be right.”
“I don’t understand,” I said. What were they going on about?
“CJ, you were born to be a Coven leader,” Jeff smiled.
“But I don’t wanna be a Coven leader.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Jeff grinned. “It’s who you are, what you are.”
“That won’t protect her from the curse,” Kay said grimly.
“But it might give her a fighting chance,” he replied, still grinning.
“Maybe,” Kay conceded.
“So the curse does have something to do with me.”
Kay opened her mouth to say something and like Jeff, she nearly choked.
“It’s okay,” I told her. “I know you can’t say anything specific about it. Don’t try. You’ll hurt yourself.”
“CJ, I’m sorry,” she said in frustration. “I wish I could tell you everything.”
“I know.” She sounded so helpless, like she really wanted to tell me everything. Was I wrong? Should I tell her everything? She might be able to help me make sense of the diary.
The pain hit swift and hard. I nearly screamed at the intensity of the agony that tore through my stomach. Okay, so telling Kay wasn’t such a good idea.
“CJ, what it is, what’s wrong?” Jeff fretted.
“Stomach cramp,” I muttered. “Can we just go home?”
“Sure, hon. We’ll drop the Chance’s anchor and come back for it tomorrow.” He hauled Billy up and dragged him out of the cabin and up the stairs.
“Hon?” Kay’s eyes were wide and smiling. Leave it to her to forget the whole dream issue and plow ahead into what she considered the more important topic—boys.
I rolled my eyes. “Kay.”
“Okay,” she laughed. “He’d be good for you, though, CJ. He’s been in love with you forever.”
“I know.”
“You know?”
“He told me.”
“And?” Kay demanded.
“And nothing. I have a boyfriend, Kay, that I love. Which I still can’t believe. Sometimes I wonder if what I’m feeling isn’t just some kind of infatuation. I’ve only known him for a short while, but…”
“But you love him,” Kay finished. “Love is not something you can control, CJ. It can creep up on you, build out of friendship, or hit you the moment you meet someone. Don’t question yourself so much. Trust your instincts. They’ll never lead you in the wrong direction.”
If only she knew what my instincts were saying about her.
“We’re ready!” Jeff hollered from up top.
“Finally,” I sighed. My stomach was killing me. Just being near Kay right now was causing me all sorts of pain.
Billy regained consciousness on the ride home. He glared at me the whole way. Kay was quiet. I was glad to drop them both off.
“Are you okay?” Jeff asked when he pulled up in front of my house.
“Yeah.” Maybe I could get Dad to tell me why he took the dream away. “Can I ask you something, Jeff?”
When he nodded I continued. “What’s the difference between a binding spell and a blood oath?”
“The binding spell is the kinder of the two.”
“Why?”
“A binding spell keeps a person from talking or doing something. It can even bind your ability to use magic. A blood oath is different. You take an oath to protect whatever secret you’re keeping. By invoking a blood bond, you swear on your life to never betray that oath. A person who does and reveals the truth will die before the light of the next day.”
Dad would die? No way could I let that happen. I vowed never to ask him another question. I refused to lose someone else.
“Hey.” Jeff took my hand. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I lied. “I’m just tired. I need sleep. It’s after three in the morning.”
“I hadn’t noticed,” he laughed and rubbed his eyes, and then his expression turned serious. “Don’t worry about Billy. He’s just a little fanatical about following the rules.”
“I’m not worried about Billy,” I told him. “Kay will take care of him.”
Jeff smirked. “Yeah, I doubt he’d do anything to risk her being mad at him again.”
“Thanks for helping me tonight,” I smiled and squeezed his hand.
“Not a problem, hon,” he winked. “You know I’d do anything for you.”
In that moment, looking into his cornflower blue eyes, I wished I felt for him what I did Ethan. I even resented Ethan a little for taking this away from me. Jeff was my friend and he’d never lied to me. I didn’t have to worry about his intentions every second of the day or question my sanity around him. He made me feel safe and protected whenever I was with him. He was always the first person I thought of when I needed help. Why couldn’t I love him the same way I did Ethan?
Wait, the same way? Crap. This was not a conversation I wanted to have with myself right now. Maybe not ever. I couldn’t let myself think those kinds of things. It wasn’t fair to anyone.
“You look upset, CJ,” he frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Tired,” I waved off the question. It would do more harm than good for him to know about how I was really feeling. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and hopped out of the Jeep before he could say anything and fled into the house. Mom and Dad were both home. Their light was out under their door as I passed and I was grateful they were asleep. I didn’t feel up to answering any questio
ns tonight.
Every time I closed my eyes, I was back there in the heat and the smoke. I could still feel the fire crawl up my calves onto my thighs. The stench of burning hair and fingernails surrounded me. It nearly choked me and I was wide awake. How could it be so real? Laura wasn’t even related to me. I could find it more believable if I’d seen it through Sara’s eyes. Then I could convince myself it was some kind of reincarnation. But this? I didn’t understand this.
The only theory I could come up with had to do with the transference spell. Maybe I hadn’t just transferred the memory. Maybe I had transferred myself to that moment in time? But that didn’t explain Kay’s dream. She’d had the same dream since she was five. Then again, it wasn’t her dream to begin with. It was mine.
I sighed in frustration and tried to focus on what I could remember of the dream. It wasn’t much. I’d heard mumblings. I knew one was the curse and Sara had cast something herself, but I couldn’t hear past the screams.
Then there was the brand new problem I had. Jeff. I just outright refused to think about that particular little dilemma.
It was almost dawn when sleep finally claimed me, still no closer to the answers then before.
Chapter Twenty Three
Thirteen betrayed, thirteen avenged…
Invoke…blood promise….
Arwan and Agrona, hear us this night….
The thirteenth bearer of life…
I screamed in frustration and threw my journal at the door. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make myself remember. I’d only had the one dream. Stupid me had repeated my father’s words verbatim: Show me now what she sees and forever let it be.
Everything was so muddled. I couldn’t get past the terror. I could only remember snatches of the curse. Sara’s spell was out of reach. Laura had been so horrified at the casting of the curse, she hadn’t paid attention to Sara. Apparently neither had I.
Why couldn’t I remember? I’d tried to write memory spells, but it was useless. The dream was gone. Maybe for good this time. Tomorrow was my birthday. Maybe the dream was only supposed to last until then as a reminder or a warning of some sort. I just didn’t know and it was driving me crazy.
Some of my frustration was due to the fact that Ethan had been gone since last Saturday and hadn’t bothered to call me even once. I was so pissed. I’d left messages for him, but no response. My boyfriend was ignoring me. Granted he hadn’t told me why he needed to go home and there could be something wrong, but would it have hurt him to drop me a text? Just to say hi? No, it would not have.