Cara comes back with chocolate and we all sit around her and watch her open it. Helena divides it up into equal shares and there’s a minute’s silence as we all eat and then wait for the sugar to hit our bloodstreams. There’s one piece left.
‘Yours,’ Helena says and passes it to me.
‘Mine?’ I look around at them.
‘You have the greatest need,’ Cara says. ‘You’re the only one of us with a crazed stalker so far as we know. If that doesn’t call for chocolate, I don’t know what does.’
I swallow. Helena shakes her head. Zeke shoots me a look that’s part-sympathy and part-fear. I take the chocolate. ‘Well on that note, I think I’d better be getting to homeroom,’ I say.
Chapter twenty-six
When we pull into the driveway that afternoon a white ute is already parked out front.
‘Oh good, he’s here,’ Mum says.
‘Who’s here?’ I guess I’m extra jittery, because just the sight of the ute has got my heart racing.
‘Andy. We thought we might get some security fitted. Just, you know, so there’s less to worry about. For everyone.’
Security. That seems so…. serious. I swallow.
‘Okay,’ I say.
‘G’day,’ Andy says when we get out. ‘How’ve you been?’ He smiles broadly at Mum.
‘Well thanks Andy. Thanks for coming out.’
‘Not a worry, any time.’ He glances at me for a second and then looks away again.
I grab my backpack out of the boot and follow him and Mum into the house.
The laundry is empty and Stacey’s running shoes are gone, so I figure she must have taken Zelda for a run when she got home from work. I get a sudden pang. Seeing how excited Zelda is when I get home is the highlight of my day, if I’m honest.
But I know the pang is a selfish pang. Zelda will be loving the walk and she’ll be just as excited when she gets back. Her excitement level at seeing me is a constant, not a variable. That’s one of the awesome things about dogs. One hundred percent reliability.
I head for my bedroom and shut the door. But as soon as I do, I get a flashback to finding the note. It was in between two of my textbooks. Did I carry it home from school like that and just not notice when I unpacked my bag? Or did someone come into my room and leave it there?
I was meaning to start on my homework but now I can’t focus. I pace the floor for a while, my thoughts taking me down all sorts of uncomfortable avenues. I lay down on my bed and close my eyes and try to rest. I hardly slept the night before. The disturbed nights are starting to get to me.
‘Abbie,’ Tom yells.
‘What?’
I must have been drifting because when I open my eyes I’m surprised to see that it’s getting dark outside.
‘Mum says you need to come out here and see how things work.’
I groan and force myself to sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed.
Mum and Andy are out in the laundry looking at a light switch.
‘So, we’ve got a movement sensor hooked up. You just have to make sure you don’t switch this light off, right? And if you do, you turn it on, wait five seconds, then turn it off and on again and it should only go on then if the sensor triggers it.’
‘And what area does the sensor cover?’ Mum asks.
‘It will pick up anything in an arc of a couple of metres,’ Andy sweeps his arm around in the direction of the veranda.
‘Like possums, things blowing in the wind, big bugs, that sort of stuff?’ I say. Instead of refreshing me, the rest has left me feeling angry. We shouldn’t need a sensor light. This fear I feel like a constant churning in my gut is not fair. I’ve done nothing to deserve it.
‘All of that. And people. Anyone who approaches will trigger the light,’ Andy says.
‘If they approach via the veranda,’ I say.
Mum turns to me. ‘Abbie, I know it doesn’t solve everything but it’s a start. Wouldn’t you say?’
For once Mum actually sounds frazzled. I look at her and realise she’s exhausted too. She’s probably been working too hard, not eating enough, and worrying about me on top of it all.
‘Sorry,’ I say. ‘Thanks for organising it, Mum. It’s a good idea.’
‘Let me know if you do decide you want to get a back to base alarm system set up,’ Andy says as he kneels and packs up his tools.
‘An alarm?’ I say.
‘Just considering our options,’ Mum says.
‘There’ve been a few break-ins recently,’ Andy says. ‘You guys might not have heard about it, being new and all. But it’s worth being careful. Keeping an eye out.’
‘Thanks again, we’ll be in touch,’ Mum says.
‘How great is this, right?’
Helena skips ahead of us, looking back and grinning. Her cheeks are glittery and her whole face is painted in intricate patterns of pink, purple, silver and blue.
I’m walking next to Zeke and keeping Zelda close to me on a tight lead. Apparently dogs are welcome at the Derrington Fair, and she’s been doing really well since she moved in with us, but I’m tentative about how she might react to so many people she doesn’t know.
Zeke is consulting a pamphlet.
‘So there’s wood-chopping starting in five minutes, then sheepdog trials are at twelve, and the finals of the great bake-off are in the pavilion at one…’
‘Oh dagnabbit. I’m meant to be helping Kat, she’s running a stall, a fundraiser thingy for the Landcare group. You guys I have to run but come find me, please…’ And Helena seems to evaporate into the crowd.
Zeke looks at me. Cara’s already gone off with Stacey, talking her head off about cameras. It’s just the two of us now. A whole day ahead with Zeke. I don’t know how I feel about that.
‘So. Wood-chopping? Or food?’
‘Food,’ I say. ‘Definitely.’
The Geoffrey James Memorial Oval where the Fair is being held is unrecognisable. The lovingly-maintained grass is covered in stalls and people, there’s music playing over loudspeakers, and over the music, the murmur of voices like the sound of the sea or the wind. I’m pretty sure the entire town is here – it’s the most people I could imagine possibly seeing in the same place at the same time in Derrington.
‘So about me and Cara…’ Zeke says as we’re walking and for a second I don’t register the words. The sentence has come straight out of the blue.
‘Um, yes?’ I try to sound cool, calm, and unflustered, but my heart is beating triple-speed and my palms are sweating.
‘You did see her kiss me,’ he says, looking off at something in the middle of the oval.
‘Yeah I know.’
‘I mean, she kissed me but the thing is, it was… well… an experiment.’
An experiment? What the hell kind of an explanation is that, I think? I don’t say it though.
‘Oh, right,’ is what I say.
Zeke looks at me.
‘She wanted to check something,’ he says. ‘I couldn’t tell you before because it was her business, you know. But she’s said it’s okay, I can tell you.’
‘Right,’ I say again, waiting for whatever might come next.
‘She just wasn’t sure how she’d feel. About the kiss. Because she’s not sure if she’s keen on boys or, you know, girls. And people have been telling her we should hook up forever. And we’re like best friends. So, she thought she’d try it and see.’
I take a breath. ‘Ah,’ I say.
‘She didn’t mind me telling you because, well, you know, your Mum and Stacey and all…’
‘Right,’ I say.
‘In fact she said that was one of the things that helped her to actually start thinking about it clearly…’
‘Great,’ I say, wondering why she didn’t just kiss Helena if she was so confused. Surely that would have been a better test?
‘So, um, that’s what I wanted to tell you.’
‘Well, thanks for telling me,’ I say.
‘Yeah it’s great isn’t it,’ he laughs. ‘Really flattering to know that my kiss measures a zero on the Richter scale.’
‘That’s what friends are for, hey,’ I say.
‘It was a bit frustrating though. Because I was kind of hoping I’d be at the Ball with you. And then you didn’t show and Cara kissed me and you started acting all weird and I couldn’t explain because… well you know…’
And in the moment of silence after he stops talking, a warm shivery feeling tingles all the way from the soles of my feet to the top of my head. He was hoping to be at the ball with me. With me! I try not to grin.
‘The wombat is called Grumbles,’ I say. ‘I’ve got a photo if you want to see.’
‘The wombat?’ Zeke looks startled.
‘The reason I wasn’t at the Ball, remember?’
I pull out my phone and scroll through my photos until I find one from our last visit. She’s chubby and furry, all big round tummy and long claws.
‘Wow!’ he says and grins. ‘Well it was definitely worth ditching me for that…’
As we’re looking at the picture, my phone beeps.
‘Oh that’s probably Leah,’ I say and open the message.
Suddenly it’s like the sun is gone and everything is cold and dark and I’m alone, looking at the words on my screen:
You should have left when you had the chance
‘What is it? Are you okay?’ Zeke says.
I show him the message.
‘Oh geez Abbie,’ he says and looks around at the dozens and dozens of people milling around us, as though whoever sent it might be right there, watching us, waiting to be spotted.
‘Let’s get out of this crowd,’ I say and head towards the grandstand at the edge of the oval.
‘That’s the first time you’ve had a message on your phone?’ Zeke is frowning at me.
I nod.
‘Who has your number?’
I squint and shrug. I feel suddenly exhausted; too tired to think, too tired to do anything.
‘You and Cara and Helena. My friends in Sydney. My brother. And the school has it. And Duncan.’
‘Duncan? You gave Duncan your number?’
‘While all the stuff with Dave Hill was happening. He said if there were any problems I should call him.’
Zeke makes a hmmmph noise that sounds more disapproving than thoughtful.
‘And the people I worked with for the biology group project have it. Josh and Aliya. And I don’t know who else. Mum. Stacey…’
I rub my head.
‘Can I borrow your phone for a tick?’ he says.
‘Sure,’ I say.
Zeke takes my phone and flicks through to the message screen. All it says is Private Number, and the time of the text.
‘Screw it,’ I say. ‘Let’s just pretend this didn’t happen and I’ll think about it later.’
‘You’ll have to take this to the police…’
I snort. ‘Because I enjoy nothing more than hearing them apologise about how they can’t do anything if the message doesn’t specifically threaten to disembowel me on a Thursday night at a quarter to seven with a shovel? Right.’
Zeke flinches. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’
‘Never better,’ I say, standing up straight and stretching. ‘So, Helena said something about little Dutch pancakes?’
‘Yeah she’s a big fan of anything pancakey.’ He’s looking at me with a strained, cautious expression.
‘Well let’s go get some. And then let’s go watch some people chop some wood.’
I don’t feel the slightest bit hungry but Zeke doesn’t need to know that. If whoever sent me the message is here and watching, I’m going to show them that I’m not afraid.
The sun glints on the steel as the blade rises and falls. We’re sitting a little way away from the stage where the wood-chopping is happening, off to one side. I’ve finished the pancakes and licked my fingers and the sun has come out and Zelda is leaning her head against my knee but I’m not feeling relaxed or content like I normally would under those circumstances. I can tell Zeke is trying to act normal but he keeps giving me worried side-eyes. I focus on the competition up on the stage. Two big guys, side by side, raising their axes high and slamming them into the logs with a thwack. It looks like hard work.
There’s a scatter of applause as they finish and another pair line up to follow them.
‘Hey,’ I say. ‘Is that Duncan?’
It’s hard to tell from this distance but I’m pretty sure it’s him – he’s got the right build, the gold-wavy hair and tanned skin. I recognise the jagged tattoo that circles his upper arm like a strand of barbed wire.
Zeke groans.
‘What?’ I say.
‘I suppose it would be. That guy has more muscles than a Russian weightlifter. Probably taken as many steroids too.’
‘Hey, you don’t know that,’ I say, conveniently putting aside my own early suspicions along exactly those lines. ‘It might just be genetic.’
‘Have you seen his Dad? String bean. Skinnier than me.’
‘Maybe he takes after his Mum’s side of the family. Or maybe he just works out a lot.’
Zeke hmmmphs again, a similar noise to the one he made earlier when I mentioned that Duncan had my phone number.
‘I mean, this looks like hard work doesn’t it?’
Zeke doesn’t say anything at all now.
A bell sounds and they begin to chop. Each time the axe embeds into the hard wood it makes a solid thwump. Fragments of timber fly. The blade digs in deeper with every impact. And then, for a second, it’s like I’m somewhere else. I see the motion, the catch of light on the blade but when it descends it doesn’t carve into hard, dead wood but flesh. I see the spattering of blood, hear a strangled cry…
‘Abbie are you okay?’ Zeke is suddenly sitting too close, looking into my eyes. The sound of his voice seems to be coming from far away, which confuses me. On my other side Zelda is nudging my hand with her nose and whining.
‘I’m… I’m fine,’ I say but my voice is quavering.
‘Seriously, what’s the matter?’ he says, taking my hands. ‘It’s like you… I don’t know, it was like you… you kind of blacked out or something I think. And you made a weird noise.’
‘Probably just something I ate,’ I say weakly but I can tell that Zeke doesn’t believe me.
‘It must be stress. Do you want me to drive you home? I can stay there with you until your Mum and Stacey get back if you want.’
I close my eyes and nod. I do feel weird. Being here after I got the text feels like a mistake.
‘How did Duncan go?’ I ask.
Zeke makes a noise that isn’t quite a laugh and shakes his head. ‘He won Abbie.’
‘Oh wow, that’s so cool. We should tell him congratulations on the way past.’
‘You want to try and fight your way through his fan club? Seriously?’
I frown and look at Zeke. ‘Duncan has looked out for me. He’s not my friend but he’s a good person. And he’s been through hell. He lost half his family.’
Zeke looks away. ‘I’m sorry. You’re right.’ Then he stands up and brushes himself off and reaches a hand and hauls me up onto my feet. He holds my hand for a few seconds longer than is really necessary and I don’t rush to let go. Just the contact of his palm against mine feels like medicine, soothing me, warming me.
‘So, if we follow the heady wafts of pheromones, I’m sure we’ll be heading in the right direction,’ Zeke says, and then turns and heads back into the crowd.
Chapter twenty-seven
Once I see Duncan up close I feel suddenly self-conscious. I’ve never seen him outside of school. He looks different in the sweat-soaked singlet and heavy work pants and boots. He’s built like a wood-chopper, with broad, solid shoulders and arms. Muscle on muscle. When he sees me, he grins.
‘Congratulations,’ I say.
‘Ta,’ he says. You’d think he’d be all red in the face but h
e looks fine.
‘How’ve you been anyway?’ he asks. ‘I haven’t seen you for a while.’
‘You know, just… getting on with things…’ I trail off awkwardly.
‘No trouble?’ He looks a question at me and I know what he’s asking.
I shake my head. I’m not going to tell him about the message. It feels better just to ignore it, like that way I can stop it from spreading ugliness into the rest of my life.
‘Good to hear.’
We both grin at one another and the silence goes on for a beat too long. Then Duncan looks down and sees Zelda, who’s waiting patiently by my side. She whines and does a rapid tail-thump.
‘What the...?’ He takes a step back and shakes his head. ‘No way. There’s no way. You’re fucking kidding me.’
‘Are you okay?’ I ask.
‘You don’t know?’ he asks. ‘Jesus –’
‘Know what?’ I look at him and something inside me turns to ice.
‘The dog. The fucking dog…’
‘Zelda,’ I say. ‘She’s a rescue dog. We got her a few weeks ago.’
Duncan closes his eyes. ‘Abbie, that was Becky’s dog. She had the thing since it was a puppy.’
Beside me Zelda whines again. My skin prickles.
‘No,’ I say. ‘I don’t believe you.’ But even as I say it, I know that it’s the truth. That’s not the sort of thing Duncan would just make up.
‘Nobody in town wanted her. She reminded them of what happened. We looked after her for a while afterwards but it was freaking Mum out too much. She was there that night, Abbie. She was there the night they died.’
Zelda jumps in the back of the car and sticks her nose out of the window. I sit in the front. I strap myself in and cross my arms over my chest. I can hardly take in Zeke’s excited chatter. He’s telling me about his driving test and how he almost screwed it up and how his Dad would have never let him hear the end of it if he had. He jerks the gear stick a few times then puts the car into reverse and backs it out of the park.
‘You right Abbie?’ he asks finally, looking across at me.
I shake my head. I haven’t told him yet. My mind is racing.
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