by Lowe, Ebony
“Hello” she answered with irritation in her voice.
“You ok?” I instantly asked.
“I guess. These detectives and everybody driving me crazy, not giving me no privacy or room to breathe. It’s too much Riyah, I don’t know how to deal with it all.”
“Look sis, you need some air! You wanna go out with us tonight? We could all use some fresh air and some fun and laughs.”
“I do, but I feel like I need to be here in case she calls or comes home.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her what I really wanted to tell her, which was do you really think she is coming home. I personally feel that I should say something to someone, but because my best friend asked me not to, I won’t.
“I feel you sis, I would to. Brad come back yet?”
“No, DJ called Deondre and told him to bring him home to us but we ain’t heard nothing from him yet. That was earlier.”
“Damn!”
“DJ and his girl here with your parents and the detectives. My grama and auntie on they way. I really don’t want to be bothered with all them you know.”
“Yea I know sis. So come out with me and J. We won’t stay long. We can just go check it out then leave if you want. At least come get some fresh air.”
“Yea aiight. Im finna holla at DJ then get dressed. Give me bout 30”
“Ok, I’m bout to hop in the shower. Meet you on the porch.”
“K. Thanks Riyah!”
“You’re my best friend girl, it’s what I’m here for. Duuuh!!!”
“Ok” she chuckled. I was so happy I finally got a smile out of her and I got her to come out. I had to make sure she had a good time, even if it was only for a couple of seconds. I called J and told him she was coming and we had to make sure she laughed harder than ever before. He promised me that he and Jacob and everybody else would take care of it.
We went out and had a good time, but I could tell Melanie didn’t want to be there. She laughed at most of the jokes even though it seemed like she had to push the laugh out. I knew she was ready to go. Question was, where did she want to go. Going to her house would make her depressed all over again, going to my house would probably piss her off, so where could I take her.
“Do you want to go somewhere else” I asked her.
“I do but I don’t.” She replied. “I feel guilty, I feel like I should be out looking for her instead of trying to have fun and joke around.”
“Yea but we both know Auntie Lynn would not want us sitting around worrying about her, she would want us to enjoy ourselves and live no matter what.”
“You sound just like her saying that.” She chuckled.
“See, you know it’s the truth.”
“Still I know she’s out there somewhere, I just want to know that she is ok.”
“Have you thought anymore about what you told me?”
“Imma ignore it like I been doing.”
“Melanie! You do realize, no matter how much you don’t want to face it, that it is a possibility that it’s true don’t you?”
“Yea” she began to cry.
“We gotta tell Mel! We have to!” I said as I hugged her tight.
“I know, I know but I can’t bring myself to believe it so how can I tell it to anybody.”
“You don’t have to do it by yourself, I will be there every step of the way and that’s a promise. But the sooner we say something, the sooner the police can do their jobs.”
“I know, I’m just scared”
Before I could respond, I received a text message…
“Do not tell anyone about this, come to the Best Western room 19 it is an emergency. No one else should know about this. Please keep it to yourself and come quick!!!!!!”
I did not know how to respond because I didn’t know who it was. I never saw that number before. The only thing that I could say was…“Ok, I am on the way” As if I needed anything else to think about. Who could it be? What was the emergency? I told J to take me to the hotel and the look he gave me was a weird one. I told him and Mel about the text message and they were both reluctant for me to go in alone but I told them not to worry it was probably just Kita trying to get me to change my mind about being on her side.
When we pulled into the parking lot, I looked for Kita’s car but didn’t see it. My mind started wondering, thinking maybe she parked somewhere else trying to hide. But when I knocked on the door and it opened, I was not prepared for what I saw.
“Are you by yourself?”
“No, Mel and J are in the car”
“Did you tell them anything?”
“No, I didn’t know what to tell them”
“Come in”
I sat on the bed speechless. I remember reading the letter Auntie Lynn left…
“To my precious daughter,
No words can express how hurt I am. The pain inside is too much for me to live with. I feel like it’s suffocating me. I cannot breath in this house, in this world. The love that I had for your father is crippling me. I don’t know that I can ever forgive him for what he has done to our family. I don’t know that I can ever exist in the same world that he exists in again. Mentally, I am not here. I am lost, confused, so very very very hurt and there is nothing that anyone can do or say to make the pain go away. There is only one thing left for me to do. I don’t want to leave you and your brothers, but I cannot allow you to see me this way. I am in no way able to be a mother or a human at this moment. Not for certain that I will ever be again. Please don’t cry for me. I love you to the end of the world and back again!
Mom
Lost for words, trying to get my thoughts together but the only thing that I can think of was thank GOD she was ok. But why me though? Why not Mel?
“We thought you were dead!” I told her.
She sighed before responding.
“I thought about it, had every intention of taking my life, but all I could think about were my children and you guys. I couldn’t go through it.” She explained.
“But why me? I mean Mel has been going crazy, scared to death. The police are looking for you. We filed a missing persons report. Everybody is worried about you.”
“I didn’t mean to worry everybody. I didn’t expect to be alive still. Now that I am, I needed to talk to someone who felt the same way inside as I do before I faced my family.”
I understood what Auntie Lynn was saying. I was angry at her for putting us all through this especially her own daughter, but I was so happy to know that she was alive and ok.
We talked for a little bit longer, then I went to the car to get Mel. I didn’t tell her who was inside so when she went in she fell to her knees. I left my best friend and my auntie in that hotel. I texted my mom to let her know Auntie Lynn was ok . I didn’t know what would happen next but all that mattered at that moment was that Mel was happy again.
Chapter 10
The next day, mama woke me up asking me to go somewhere with her. Last time she did that, I ended up at the crazy doctor with the family’s disgrace. Wonder what she had planned today.
“Ma, I hope we not going back to that crazy doctor, I ain’t tryna hear nothing her or Kita gotta say!” I said.
“No, we are not going back to her. Besides, think you left a bad taste in her mouth. I don’t think she will want to counsel us again.” Mama laughed.
“Well it ain’t my fault. I told the truth. Sometimes mama, the truth hurts. If ya can’t stand the heat then stay out the kitchen, and if she couldn’t take what I said, which had nothing to do with her, then she don’t need to be a psychiatrist.”
“Girl, what am I gone do with you and your mouth!”
“I’m not the one that you have to worry bout mama, it’s that spawn of satan that you birthed that you need to worry bout.”
Mama just shook her head. Guess she ain’t have nothing else to say. I mean what more could she say? She knew it was the truth, she just didn’t want to say it.
We pulled up to Christ Hospital. Why
we were there, I had no clue. I asked her but she told me to just go with it.
“Mama, I ain’t got time for no shenanigans!” I told her.
She gave me that look! You know that look your mama give you when you cross the line. Yea, that one! Of course she only had to look at me once for me to get the picture. Mama ain’t raise no fool.
When we walked in, I saw Kita standing there with a nurse waving at us. Not again I thought. I wanted to say something, but I had already said too much. This right here, I was so tired of. Why in God’s name does she keep dragging me and only me along with her to Kita’s appointments? I don’t want nothing to do with that girl or her fetus. I don’t understand why I am being forced to be in the same place with her, but then when I snap on her I’m in the wrong. It’s a conspiracy that’s what it is!
“Ma you gotta be kidding me!” I exclaimed! “Again?”
“Relax Riyah, the only reason I brought you with me is because I haven’t been feeling good and I was scared I wouldn’t be able to drive myself. I knew your dad wouldn’t have came.”
I looked closely at my mama and could tell she was sick. She didn’t look like herself. She looked old and tired…worn out. I blame Kita for putting all this stress on her and my family. If she wasn’t the family whore, mama would be ok.
Regardless of what mama said, I was still forced to sit through Kita’s ultrasound.
“Would you like to know the sex of your babies?” The nurse asked.
“Scuse me you said babies, as in more than one?” I asked
“Yes, she is carrying fraternal twins. This one right here is a girl, and this one, this one looks to be a boy!”
“Oh you gotta be kidding me! It’s two of those things! Ewwwe!” I yelled.
“MARIYAH!!!!” mama yelled at me
“I’m sorry mama but the thought of one of em is enough, now there’s two of em. Ya’ll letting her bring two of those things in this world?”
“Riyah, please don’t talk about my babies like that” Kita said in a soft spoken voice.
All of a sudden she was trying to act like a “good girl”, like a “innocent person”. Did she forget that she is pregnant by our UNCLE! Maybe she need to go back to the crazy doctor cuz this girl is a lunatic.
“Girl, please don’t talk to me at all” I responded
“Here we go again!” She said.
“Would you like me to leave you all alone for a minute?” the nurse asked.
“No you’re fine. I’ll leave. I’m sorry but I can’t be around dogs and its young, I’m allergic to it all, it makes my skin crawl. Mama I love you but you keep putting me in this situation and expect me to be ok with it but I’m not and I don’t think I will ever be. I’m gonna have Jeremiah come pick me up. I can’t be around her any longer.” I said as I kissed mama on the cheek and left out.
I sat in the waiting room and waited for J to pick me up. I couldn’t help but to notice the pain on mama’s face. She looked so hurt and tired and weak. Everything was taking a toll on her, but she refused to sit down and let it all go. I needed to have a sit down heart to heart with daddy. Something had to be done and soon. I couldn’t stand to see mama like that any longer.
Chapter 11
On the way home, I kept quiet, stuck in my thoughts about mama. How bad she looked. Mama hadn’t aged much throughout her life, but now she was looking every bit of her age plus some. What could I do to make her feel better? I could stop being a bitch to Kita, but that would make me hate myself. I can’t pretend to like someone knowing deep down I despise their guts. I literally dislike the air she breaths, the space that she takes up, and the ground she walks on. Yea I know, I shouldn’t feel like that, but tell me how am I supposed to feel after what she did. There is no amount of forgiveness in the world that could make me forget the pain she caused my family. I forgive her because that’s what GOD wants me to do, but forget…? I could never do that.
I could hear J talking to me but I was so deep into my thoughts that I have no clue as to what he was saying. He knew too, because he asked me was I listening to him. Before I could respond my phone rang. Saved by the bell!
“Riyah” a voice said on the other end of the phone.
“Who is this?” I responded.
“Kita”
“Why are you calling me, I have nothing left to say to you.”
“Riyah shut up and listen! Its mama!” she struggled so hard to find the words to say it. “Mama sick”
“Look stop playing on my phone.” I snapped “Mama ain’t sick fool, I just left ya’ll remember.”
“Riyah, Mama passed out after you left. She hit her head on the end of the hospital bed as she fell down. Riyah, mama’s in a coma. Call daddy and get back here! I don’t know what to do”
“WHAT!?!?!?!” I yelled! “Take me back to the hospital NOW! Hurry up!” I yelled at J. He gave me a confused look but didn’t hesitate to do a u-turn in the middle of traffic to get me back to the hospital. I instantly hung up on Kita and called daddy.
“Daddy, where are you?” I cried to him.
“Home, what’s wrong are you ok?” He asked hearing the pain in my voice.
“Daddy, its mama! You need to meet me at the hospital NOW!
“What?, What are you talking about? What hospital? Where is your mother?” he asked not comprehending what I was saying.
“Daddy, listen to me! Mama passed out at Christ Hospital and hit her head on the end of the hospital bed, she’s in a coma. Daddy come quick!” I cried.
Before I could say anything else, the phone went dead on the other end. I knew that meant he was on his way. I was so discombobulated that I couldn’t think straight. I didn’t know who to call, what to do, what to say, I just know I needed to be with my mama.
As we pulled up to the hospital, I didn’t give him a chance to stop the car. I jumped out while he was slowing down and ran into the hospital screaming Kita’s name. When I found her, she sat me down and tried to calm me down but I wasn’t really trying to hear her. I just wanted to see my mama and know that she was going to be ok. Seemed like only seconds later, Daddy, J and his parents, Mel, DJ, and Auntie Lynne were all there waiting to hear from the doctor. I don’t even remember them all getting there. I just remember feeling someone’s hand on my back and shoulder and feeling J grab and hold my hand tight. Didn’t realize it then, but that was the first time everyone was in the room with Kita since everything happened. None of that mattered at that time. We were all scared and thinking the worst. When the nurse finally came out to tell us that the Dr. wanted to speak to us all and for us to go into the family conference room, we all began to shake. I held daddy’s hand tight as I thought to myself, “this cannot be good”. Finally the doctor walked in. Nothing could have prepared us for what he was about to tell us.
“Jacobs family?” he asked.
“Yes, how is my wife? What happened? Is she going to be alright?” daddy asked with tears in his eyes
“Mr. Jacobs, please have a seat” the doctor said ushering daddy to his chair. Daddy looked like he was going to fall out or something. You could tell by the look on the dr.’s face that he was worried about him to.
“Mrs. Jacobs suffered a stroke. She also, as you may know, hit her head on the end of the hospital bed and also as she hit the floor. This caused more trauma in her brain and caused it to bleed and swell. Right now, she is in a coma, and we are running a series of tests to help us decide if surgery is needed. I want you to be aware that the next 24 to 48 hours are very critical. We have transferred her to ICU where she will be on constant watch. Right now she seems to be breathing ok on her own and that is a very good sign. We have her on oxygen just to help her out a little bit. We are doing everything we can to make sure she is comfortable and not in any pain. The next 48 hours are up to her. She seems to be a fighter and a strong person, so I am hoping she will fight her way through this. Surgery is an option and may be performed but right now it would be very dangerous with the swelling of her bra
in. All we can do now is hope and pray!”
“Thank you doctor” J’s mother said as she reached to shake his hand. Everyone else was speechless and in tears. I couldn’t believe this had happened to my mama, the backbone of our family. She couldn’t possibly think we could make it without her.
“I want to see her” daddy said wiping tears from his face.
“Of course! Once they are finished with the last test, which should be any minute now, you may come back and sit with her. The nurse will come out and get you. Unfortunately, we can only allow two people at a time.”
“Will she know we there” I asked as tears filled my eyes
“It’s possible. Talk to her, let her know how much you love her. Hold her hand, kiss her. It may help to make her respond.”
As I watched the doctor walk out the room, I realized daddy was an emotional wreck. As much as my heart hurt, daddy’s heart seemed to hurt the most. Nobody knew what was going to happen. This was so unexpected. Mama was the most healthiest person of us all. How in the world could she be so sick? KITA!!!
Chapter 12
5 months later…
Mama is almost back to normal. She put a big scare in us but turned out to be ok. She suffered a mild stroke, but most of the damage came from her hitting her head. She had to have surgery to stop the bleeding, which caused her to have to learn to walk and talk all over again. She’s walking with a cane now and has a bit of a speech problem but doctors expect her to heal just fine. Thank GOD! I don’t know what I’d do without my mama, and I damn sure ain’t trying to find out no time soon.
Auntie Lynne, DJ, Mel, and Bradley moved into their own house right next door to us. Auntie Lynne took Dre to divorce court and won alimony and child support. Dre is living in a motel because he can’t afford to pay Auntie Lynne and pay all of his bills. I guess karma bit him in the butt big time. They sold their house because Auntie Lynne didn’t want to live in it anymore and the judge gave her all of the profits and she split the money with us. Mama and daddy didn’t want to take it but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. I think it was her way of apologizing to us for putting us through so much when she went missing. DJ gave up his apartment and moved back home. We were happy to have our big brother back home. He still goes to school, he just refuses to leave his mama side because everybody is scared she may have a flash back or something and disappear again. Mama and daddy are back like old times. Seems like they are more in love with each other than they were before if that’s even possible. Mama still helps Kita even though daddy is totally against it. Hell, everybody is except her. I guess that’s why a mother’s love is so special. She got her a job and a studio apartment and she’s due any day now. I still haven’t forgiven her nor do I plan to. Mama keeps trying to push in my face that I’m going to be an Auntie but to be honest, I don’t want no parts of those kids lives. In fact, I don’t care to see them or her for that matter. Jeremiah and I are still together. We broke our promise to our parents and “did the do” on my 17th birthday. Oh don’t worry, we haven’t told them, and don’t plan to although I’m sure they know cuz they aint stupid, and as daddy always say, they wasn’t born yesterday. Mel and I are still very close. She rarely comes out any more. I think she depressed or something. She stays under Auntie Lynne. Her and DJ are so protective over Auntie now, they don’t let her leave without one of them being with her. Mama and Auntie Lynne are super close now. They call each other for everything. Its kind of annoying but it’s the same thing me and Mel do so I don’t know why it annoys me so much. Dre sent a letter to daddy stating that he didn’t believe the kids were his and he wanted to have it set in place to have a DNA test done as soon as they were born. Apparently, word around town is not only is Kita the family’s whore, she’s also the town whore. At least that’s what Dre thinks. I haven’t heard anything like that. Personally, I think he just don’t want to claim those kids cuz he can’t afford no more child support.