by J. M. Walker
Her brows were furrowed, her full lips set in a grim line. “You okay?”
I nodded.
“I think a drink is in order,” Mathis said, calling over a waiter.
At that point, I think I needed more than just a drink.
***
“I know it isn’t my business…”
“Then don’t ask,” I mumbled.
Mathis smiled and handed me rolled up floor plans that I had been itching to get my hands on all week. “Did you tell her?”
I shook my head, spreading out the blue prints on the table. I sighed, taking in the site before me and sat back. “She has no fucking idea.”
“Good. Now—”
“Mathis, whatever shit you have going on in that head of yours, ignore it before it leaves your mouth. I’m not answering any questions.”
A deep booming laugh escaped him. “You’re lucky that you’re my partner.”
I rolled my eyes. “Your clubs would go under if I wasn’t.”
“No but you do help bring in the cash.”
I looked up. “It’s hard making money the legal way, isn’t it?”
He huffed and brushed a hand through his short black hair. “You’re telling me. If it wasn’t for Jennifer, I’d lose my mind.”
I didn’t know his whole story. I knew he dealt with illegal shit in the past but never got caught. He had told me that he never touched anything. He always had people working for him so it could never be traced back to him. Scary assed shit if you asked me.
“Yeah…” My voice trailed off and I glanced back at the blue print on the table before me. Working with Mathis for the past couple of months, although difficult in the beginning was now a Godsend. The European billionaire had dealings with anyone and everyone. He could get anything that he wanted but now, he just had to make sure it was all legal since he had a family to worry about.
“Club Rouge L’amour is going well, I hear. Mary from NewsFive keeps rating you and Evvie as couple of the year.”
I scoffed. “Please. If only she knew. Evvie should be wife of the year for putting up with my sorry ass.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Mathis said, rising to his feet.
I couldn’t help but stare at the image before me. Would she be mad that I had this planned on my own with the help of Mathis? I prayed Evvie loved my surprise but I couldn’t help the nagging feeling of dread that I had over maybe I was stepping out of place.
At that moment, my phone rang interrupting my thoughts. I slid my thumb along the unlock key and placed it on speaker phone before putting the cell on the table. “Mathis is here. You’re on speaker.”
“Good,” a deep voice came through on the other end. “Just wanted to let you know that the dry wall is up and taped. We’re getting ready to put the primer coat on and then we’ll start outside.”
“Perfect. We’re right on schedule,” Mathis called from across the room of his office.
“We are. To get this properly done and safely built, I’d give it a month. You want the furniture and everything moved in before you tell her, right?”
“Yes.” I needed to surprise Evvie. She had done so much for me that I wouldn’t get any satisfaction from this until the day I brought her home. To our home and see her face light up after our months of darkness.
The women that I have been with do not compare to you. I’m sorry for bringing them up but you need to know just how deep my love for you goes.
Tatiana told me what she had said to you all those weeks ago. About since I had you, you were now mine. Well she was right. Which I’m sure you now know. I became addicted to you fast. You were etched in my skin. Carved in my heart. Engrained inside my skull. I couldn’t get enough. You were the high that left me needing more. Always needing more.
You have no idea what you have done for me, do you? You are the light in my darkness. You shine up my life. You make me want to be a better person.
As we both know, I’m not a religious man. I felt that there was no point since God took my step mom and dad away from me. I looked at my step mother like a true role model. Not like that bitch who gave birth to me.
I will tell you, my sweet Evvie, that it scares me. Not knowing where she is. Not knowing when she’ll just randomly show up out of nowhere, threatening to destroy me again.
But I’m stronger now, aren’t I? Or I hope so. I’m trying. God, am I ever trying. I couldn’t do this without you.
I don’t deserve you. The shit I have put you through. What with Claire and Anna and all. The whole situation with Anna is innocent. I promise you that. I look to her like a little sister. But with Claire? She’s on a whole other level of crazy. I want nothing to do with her and it would be too fucking soon if I ever saw her again.
I remember Kane finding out that I had broken up with you because Claire threatened me. You should have heard the words that came out of his mouth. Idiot. Jackass. Stupid. And those are the tame words. I’ll spare you the gruesome details but your best friend almost drove his fist through my face because I broke up with you. Again, I am sorry about that.
You need to see him. Visit him. You need time away from me. As much as I always want to be around you, we’re married but we don’t have to be together twenty-four/seven. Have them over. Hang out with them. Do something besides being with me. It’ll make seeing me later on that much more special and worth it.
Matteo has also taught me to not get so jealous over you hugging other men. I know you’re coming home with me. It’s not you I don’t trust. It’s those slimy fuckers who clearly want a piece from you. And why wouldn’t they? You’re fucking beautiful.
We are still in Vegas and after seeing your face today when Jenny revealed her bump, my heart broke. I will give you children. Some way. Somehow. I will fly to Africa and bring you home a baby if I have to. There are lots of children out there that need a good home and I know, deep down in my heart that you would make an excellent mother. You have taken care of your father and your brothers when you should have been looked after. Who looked after you, Evvie? Your dad? Your brothers? They say they did and I know that they would do anything to protect you. Trust me. I know that more than anyone. But who’s taking care of you? Well…for the rest of our lives, I will take care of you. I will protect you. I will worship the ground that you walk on. I will give you that and more. I am yours forever. I am your one. Your only. Your always.
FOUR
“You being a girl and writing a diary, Brett?”
My head whipped around and I met Mathis’ gaze. I made sure to save my journal entry and put my phone away before crossing my arms under my chest. “Writing is relaxing,” was all I said.
He nodded and slid into the booth across from me. Loud laughter flowed our way and we both looked to Jenny and Evvie giggling. My heart thumped, my blood heating. I loved it when she laughed. Even more so when I was cause of it.
Evvie glanced my way, her smile widening and her eyes showcasing warmth. She gave a little wave, her stare holding me captivated.
At that moment, we were one. Our surroundings and company disappearing as I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
I love you, my sweet Evvie. My wife. More than you will ever know. The things you do for me. The things you do to me. I will forever be grateful. I am yours. Always and forever. I’m your one. Your only.
She blew me a kiss, her eyes twinkling like she could read my mind. No worries if she couldn’t. I would just show her later.
“Think she’ll be mad?”
I grunted. “Probably.” But only because there was more than just the surprise that I was keeping from her. My stomach twisted. No. She would be happy. I knew her. She might be a little mad at first but in the end, she would be ecstatic.
“I don’t know her that well but if she’s anything like my wife, your thoughtfulness will pay off.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” Especially when it came to her brothers.
“She still has no idea that he’s home, does she?�
��
I scrubbed a hand down my face and shook my head. “No.” I hated keeping secrets from my wife but I was asked in confidence to keep one. Just for some time. I had hired her brother, Everett to build our house. With the exception that I had to get Evan and Ethan in on it as well. But I didn’t argue…much. The man was a genius. I told him what I wanted and he designed everything. Evan, I couldn’t stand in the beginning but now that he realized I wasn’t leaving, he put past feelings aside and helped out. For his sister.
Ethan being closest with Evvie became a friend of mine, if that’s what you wanted to call it. Yelling, cursing and a couple punches later, we were friends for life. Not. But we did get along. For her. Evvie was the only thing that kept all of us hotheads sane.
“Brett?”
I looked up as Evvie approached me and reached out for her.
She smiled and slid into my arms, snuggling into my side. “Jenny here is awesome. Can we bring her home with us as a souvenir?”
“Girl, right back at you, babe. I can’t believe you’re only staying in Vegas for a week,” Jenny cried, dramatically.
We all laughed.
“How are you doing, lover?” I whispered in Evvie’s ear.
“Much better. Jenny is so compassionate. She apologized for her bump being on display.”
My heart swelled. Mathis had a good woman there. “Do you trust me?”
Evvie frowned and looked up at me. “Of course, I trust you. With all of me.”
My heart raced. The words were on my tongue to tell her my surprise and more but I couldn’t. So many people would be pissed if I did that. We had come this far. I couldn’t blow it. “Trust that no matter what happens, this is all for you.”
Her back stiffened. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I loved the fire in her eyes. Craved it even. I especially loved it when that fire was directed at me. It usually ended up in hot messy mind blowing sex with Evvie walking like she just ran a marathon after. My dick jumped.
Brushing my fingers up and down the side of her neck, I kissed her hair. “You two will have to come down in the summer and then again in the winter. We can fly to Mexico so you can see, Rouge L’amour.”
“Oh yes.” Jenny clapped her hands together. “Can we, baby?”
Mathis chuckled and kissed her nose. “Of course, but we might have to wait until the baby is born.”
She pouted which was soon replaced by a small smile. “I can wait.”
***
“You didn’t tease me like you said you would,” Evvie said as we walked hand in hand down the strip back to our hotel.
“I didn’t have to.”
She looked up at me, her brows furrowed with confusion.
I laughed and kissed her head. “I told you twice that I was going to tease you so you would attack me later.”
“Yeah.”
I leaned down to her ear. “I bet since saying that to you, all you could think about was getting my cock inside your beautiful pussy. Even though we had some minor setbacks, I know that you know, the only way to make you feel better was making love to your husband. Me, Evvie.”
“But I was expecting you to touch me or say dirty things to me to tease me.”
I laughed at the whine in her voice when an idea struck me. It was eleven at night, the only lights being on were the ones on the strip. It was my favorite thing about Vegas. No matter the time, everything was still awake and moving.
“You want me to tease you, Evvie?” I whispered against her neck. A large crowd had gathered by, watching a band perform. The deep base of the drums vibrated through the speakers, sending my blood on overdrive. They were good. But the only thing that I could think about was getting my wife to the point of ripping my clothes off when we got back to the hotel.
Grabbing her hand, I led us to a dark semi-private corner. She liked fucking me in public. This would be no different.
“How—”
I pulled her flush against me, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. “You’re going to be quiet as I finger your hot pussy.”
She gasped and gripped my arm. “Brett, we’re in public.”
“It’s never stopped you before,” I breathed against her neck. Trailing my hand down the curve of her delicious ass, I inched a hand up under the back of her dress. “Now, I don’t want you making any sounds. Your cries of pleasure are for my ears only.”
A moan escaped her lips as I brushed my finger under her panties. She slapped a hand over her mouth.
I chuckled. “Relax and just feel. Feel my finger deep inside of you,” I said soothingly, pushing my middle finger into her tight core. “You enjoy submitting to me in public, my sweet Evvie,” I crooned in her ear as I brushed through the folds of her sweet center.
She whimpered, biting her bottom lip.
“You like my hands on you. Making love to your body. Controlling you. Dominating you as you surrender your will to me.”
She nodded even though it wasn’t a question.
“I also know you like it when I take you to new heights. You’ve given yourself over to me completely and for that, I could never repay you.”
“You feel so good,” she whispered.
“Watch the crowd walk by us. No one knows that you’re getting finger fucked by your husband.” I wrapped a hand around her throat and thrust my finger in and out of her in slow tortuous movements.
“I need you. Inside of me,” she panted.
“Soon.” I thrust my finger in and out of her hard.
She shook against me, a small cry leaving her lips.
“Shhh…” Pumping in and out of her, I felt her tense, her teeth biting her bottom lip as she came around my hand.
I released her and licked my fingers before pulling her along.
“Brett.”
“How bad do you want me?” I asked, stopping her in her tracks.
A dark glint flashed in her eyes as she pulled my head down. The words she whispered in my ear just about did me in. And here I thought I was in full control? There was no way. No way at all.
Holy fucking hell
One thing I realized while we were in Vegas that no matter what happens, whatever shit life throws at us, we will always be together.
Seeing the love that Mathis and Jenny have for each other in just the short time that we were with them, let me know that you and I are doing everything right.
After our moment on the Strip, I don’t think I’ll ever get your words out of my head. Do you remember what you said to me? No? Well I do. Every single word. Every syllable that rolled off your tongue ignited my skin on fire. Just thinking about it makes me hard. Let me remind you.
“I want you to rip my body wide. Split me open, my husband. I want you so deep inside of me that I feel you for days. I want to feel your power as you thrust your hard cock into my aching pussy, filling me, pleasing me. Owning me.”
I can see your blush as you read this. You think you’re shy but really you are anything but. In the heat of the moment, you tell me exactly what you want and I’m teaching you to tell me more.
I do have to tell you though, that something has been bothering me. It’s been nagging at me. Poking me in the side like an annoying child. What, you ask? I have no fucking idea. All I know is that something isn’t right. Maybe it has to do with my mom being nowhere in sight for weeks. Maybe it has to do with you losing the baby. I’m not sure. Whatever it is. It’s annoying as fuck.
I also have a couple surprises in store for you. You will be mad at first for me keeping such a huge secret from you but I think you’ll get over it. I wanted to have you in on this plan but my surprise told me to keep it a secret. Any guesses yet? Of course, when you read this, you’ll already have your surprise or I just might have your surprise appear as you read this entry.
Just remember that it’s all worth it in the end.
For us?
We’re in this as one.
FIVE
“You will like what I give you, lit
tle boy. Your daddy will never find out, now will he? My sweet sweet Brett. What did I do wrong that God brought you into my life?”
Blame. All I felt was blame as the words from my mother reigned into my head. Her constant contradictions. Her wrath and scorn over me being born was something that I would never forget. She loved me one second. Hated me the next. I didn’t know how my father had no idea of her abuse. I never told him. He didn’t find out until he walked in on me strapped to my bed. But you’d think he would have noticed something was off? Maybe? Just a little bit?
“What are you thinking about, Brett?”
I sighed and met Dr. Santos’ warm brown gaze. Evvie and I had just got home from Vegas the day before. I was doing well. Or so I thought. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore. The only thing I knew was my love for Evvie. It was the only constant thing in my life. Her love for me was the only thing that I could depend on.
It was my weekly appointment but honestly, I didn’t think they were doing any good. “My father.”
“Do you blame him?”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. I was a little shocked at myself at the open honesty. Huh. Maybe the sessions were working after all. I would have preferred to just have sessions with Evvie but she was adamant that I speak to someone that wasn’t her. Happy wife, happy life. So I listened like a good little boy.
“It’s understandable. I hear a lot of cases where the other parent has no idea that their child is being abused.”
“He should have known,” I snapped.
“Brett.” Dr. Santos sighed. “Maybe he did and he didn’t want to admit it. To himself or to anyone, for that matter.”
“He was my fucking father,” I yelled. “He saw the bruises on me. Was he in denial? Did he not think that the woman he married could hurt his fucking son?” My voice rose as each question left my lips but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t. It was like the doctor was pulling question after question out of me. “My mother said God wanted her to punish me for my sins. What sins? I was a fucking child. A little boy who just wanted to be loved. By her. Now she looks at me like she wants to fuck me. Who does that? What kind of sick monster would fuck their own flesh and blood?” My body shook, trembling as my chest constricted. I needed Evvie. My wife. The warmth of her skin. The caress of her hands on me. I needed inside of her. I…fuck me. “I just wanted love. I wanted her to accept me. I did everything in my power to make her love me.” I swallowed past the hard lump, my eyes burning with unshed tears. “Now when I see her, all of those memories crash into me, forcing the air from my lungs. I hate her. So much that I dream of killing her. I’m a monster. A fucking monster.” Leaning my head in my hands, I broke. My shoulders shook with sobs. “I don’t deserve Evvie. Why is she with me? I’m a monster.”