by Nicole Vidal
He smiles at me, and my whole body pays attention even on this occasion. “When we met in the office before lunch.”
“Thank you.” Even then he knew I needed him to be himself here, not my security. It makes me love him even more. I approach the organizer, Carol Smythe. “Good morning, I’m slated to rehearse at ten.”
“You’re name?”
“Car… Callie Sutton.”
The tall, thin woman with angular features looks at me from her clipboard and then up at Connor and Christoph. Maia is obscured by the two of them. “Right this way.”
Everyone follows her toward the platform. Christoph and Maia hover near the edge of the platform while Connor stays right beside me while I talk with the music director, Jim. I set the key and range for the music. Steve, the technical director, gives me an earpiece and a microphone. “Take your place and cue us when you’re ready to begin.”
“I’ll be right at the bottom of these stairs to your right,” Connor murmurs near my ear.
I nod, climb the small staircase, and move to the center of the platform. After a look over at Connor once more, I cue the musical director and run through “Rise Up” by Andra Day twice at a low volume. By the time I get to the second run-through, the entire room is silent.
So quiet that when I finish the last verse, I overhear Christoph ask Connor, “Did you know she could sing like that?”
Even Maia looks shocked. From her own admission while we were at the salon, she hadn’t heard any of my music until after we trained together for the first time.
“Yes, she’s incredible,” Connor replies to him.
Then the entire room erupts in applause. The music director hops up onto the platform. Connor is beside me faster than I can blink as well.
“That was fantastic, Callie.” He pauses as Connor moves beside me. After regaining his thoughts, he says, “I want to lower it down the scale one note to decrease the echo in this room. Even during the ceremony with the guests, it won’t be overfilled.”
“Sure, let’s try that from the first chorus.”
The music director moves back to his spot, and so does Connor. I sing through the song again at normal volume and a lower starting note. It sounds perfect. As Carys I sing in packed stadiums with tens of thousands of people staring at me. Yet here at this rehearsal, I’m unnerved by the attention I’m getting as me. Arguably this is the easy part of my day—although walking into the museum was easier than I expected it to be.
The director moves toward me again. I nod at Connor, and he stays at the staircase. “If you’re comfortable, we’re set for tomorrow. You need to be here by nine. Stacey has more information pertaining to your seating for tomorrow.”
“Thank you. I’m comfortable. Where can I find Stacey?”
The director gestures over near the rear of the room and moves away. After the technical director takes my microphone and earpiece, I walk off the platform toward Connor.
“That was amazing!” He kisses my temple and links our hands.
“Thank you. I need to talk to Stacey about seating for tomorrow.”
“Lead the way.”
I find Stacey near the back of the room exactly where Jim indicated she would be. “Callie, that was beautiful,” Stacey says in greeting.
“Thank you. Jim indicated you needed to see me before I leave.”
“Yes, there are two seats in the gallery for you after you sing. The rest of your team can remain off to the side either behind the platform or near the exit. There will only be one entrance and two exits during the ceremony.”
“Can you point them out for me?” Connor asks before I get the chance.
Stacey indicates to where we entered as an entry and exit for tomorrow and the exit to the rear as well. I wonder if Jake already knows this.
“Thank you.” Connor looks at me expectantly.
“Anything else?” I ask.
Stacey replies, “Not for the ceremony. I have a note here that you have an appointment for one this afternoon. The Reflection Room is available if you would like to go there first.”
Almost unconsciously, my eyes flutter closed. Once I regain my wits, I murmur, “Thank you, Stacey. I would appreciate that.” The same emotion that overcame me last night comes crashing back through.
Connor’s hold on my hand tightens as he looks back at Christoph and Maia. After a curt nod, we follow Stacey toward the Reflection Room. Since I decided to come to New York, this moment and the one to find their names has been constantly turning over in my mind. As I’m standing here inside this hallowed space, I realize the purpose is to give me and everyone whose family member isn’t yet identified a place to mourn and grieve instead of a cemetery. Connor stands beside me, my hand in his, and I talk to my parents in my head.
I have so many questions that will never be answered. Did you suffer? In the deepest recesses of my soul, I pray you didn’t, even though I’m not the praying kind. We’re you together? In my mind, it’s the only way for me to fathom the sheer terror that you had to be going through. In life you were an unstoppable team. I hope you had that in death as well. The foster system failed me, and it took me some extra time to find my way here. I’m so sorry. Many things most people take for granted, like trust and love, are extremely difficult for me. I’m making progress each day, and I attribute that mostly to Connor and his amazing family and friends. He has been scarred by death as much as I have. I may have lost you too soon, but somehow, I know you would approve. I miss you each day. I love you.
I lean my head against Connor’s shoulder, and a few tears stream down my cheeks. It feels cathartic to stand here and speak to my parents, to know somehow here they will hear me more clearly than at any other time. I know that isn’t logical, but nothing about my grief has been so far. I glance at my watch and notice I have a few minutes before my appointment.
“It’s time to go.”
He gazes down at me and presses a kiss to my head before walking toward the exit. Christoph and Maia are waiting near the exit of the museum. Maia has two long-stemmed white roses in her hand.
“Did you set that up?”
He simply smiles and escorts me out the door. I take the flowers from Maia and follow Connor toward the memorial. Halfway along the path, Jake, Alex, and Finn join us. Having all of them with me seems a bit excessive. As if Connor somehow reads my mind, Christoph and Maia step back and Finn and Alex take their place. I don’t miss the looks exchanged between Jake and Connor. They seem to have their own language. I wonder if Norah understands. Either way, I need to learn it.
My entire body tenses as we walk. I didn’t figure out where to go; I don’t even know which panel. Panic courses through me. My hand is shaking in his, my heart is racing, and my mind is spinning.
“Breathe, I already figured out where to go.”
I have no words to describe how well he loves me. It isn’t only the words. His actions scream at the highest volume from learning my coffee on the first morning to remembering flowers for this moment to knowing exactly where to lead me. “Thank you. I don’t know what to say.”
“You’re welcome. You don’t need to say anything.”
As we round the corner of the north reflecting pool, an eerie calm comes over me. I scan the panels, searching for Julian and Evelyn Sutton. Seeing their names carved into the granite makes it hard to breathe. I know in my head that my parents took their last breaths here, but knowing everyone who passes by here also knows is heart-wrenching. I exhale sharply and lean in to Connor. I listen to the water cascading down while I stare at their names side by side. After I break each stem, I insert a rose into their names and step back into Connor’s embrace, his arms around my shoulders and my hands gripping his forearms. Finn and Alex are directly behind us facing outward.
I’m not sure how much time has passed, but I’m ready to walk away. The sheer magnitude of my progress today has left me exhausted.
“Can we go back now?”
Connor brings his lips near
my ear. “Anything you want.”
“I want to go back to the hotel, relax, and watch a movie. Could we get some real pizza for dinner?”
I feel his lips curl into a smile against my head. “Like I said, anything you want.”
I lean down and draw my hand over their names once more. I exhale sharply before turning to face Connor. He presses his mouth to my forehead and then to my lips. We meet up with Jake, Christoph, and Maia who are near the Survivor Tree and walk to the car.
Once I’m at our door, the team continues to their own rooms. Jake follows us into our room.
“I’m not going anywhere else tonight if the team wants to go out for dinner or whatever. I have a ritual to follow,” I tell Jake.
Jake raises an eyebrow.
Connor laughs out loud before clarifying. “Seriously, Jake. She watches an action movie the night before her first performance in every city.”
Jake laughs. “I’ll consider it. They’re used to staying in when the client is in. Christoph indicated they made a minor change to the egress pattern for the ceremony tomorrow.”
“Yes, there’s only one entrance but two exits. It’s actually better that way.”
“What time do you need to be there, Callie?”
I turn away from the window. “I need to be there at nine. The entire ceremony should be about an hour and a half. We may be a little early for the second part of our day.”
“That’s no problem.”
Connor shakes his head. “Are you two going to clue me in?”
“Nope,” we reply in unison.
“I assure you Callie knows you well, even this soon, and you will greatly appreciate our secrecy—tomorrow.”
“Fine. I give. Do you need anything else, Jake?”
“No, I’ll see you in the morning. Bye, Callie.”
I smile and wish him a good night. Once the door clicks behind him and Connor locks it, I fall into his arms on the couch. Overall, today was a bit more exhausting than I expected, at least mentally and in my heart.
Chapter Thirty Eight
Connor
Hearing Calliope sing as herself at rehearsal this morning was outstanding. The entire room stood still simply to listen to her angelic voice. That doesn’t measure up to the privilege of being beside her in the Reflection Room. Frankly, I’m surprised they even let me in there. It’s a private room for family only. Calliope probably would have told Stacey we were married to get me in the door. I won’t object even if it’s still something yet to be.
She selects her action movie, and we curl up and wait for our pizza. About fifteen minutes into the movie, two piping-hot New York style pizzas are delivered to our room.
A deep, satisfied moan falls from her pouty lips from her first bite. I’m not happy that it’s over pizza instead of something I did to her lush body. “Can we move to New York? This is beyond amazing!”
“No, we can’t. We’re building a home, remember? I can promise to bring you here for pizza whenever you wish.”
“You’re the best boyfriend ever!” She peppers my cheek with kisses before refocusing on her food.
I laugh and pull two pieces onto my plate. She restarts the movie, and we keep watching while polishing off the pizzas. When most of it is gone, I move the boxes and settle into the corner of the couch to finish her movie. Once it finishes, she shuts it off and leads me to the bedroom. We slide beneath the ultra-soft sheets, and I draw her into my arms.
“How are you doing?” I murmur against her temple.
She shifts so we’re facing one another. I tuck a few stray strands of hair behind her ear, and her eyes flutter closed briefly. Noted, gorgeous. One hand is on my chest, the other propping up her head.
“The walk last night truly helped. I don’t know if I would have been able to rehearse without that. So far this whole… I don’t even know what to call it… experience has been sad, cathartic, and even a little freeing. I haven’t been to the memorial or the museum before, but a soothing calm came over me while I was talking to my parents. It isn’t as if I don’t talk to them almost daily. But there in the last place I know they were, that space is sacred, and I’m thankful it’s available for those left behind like me.”
“I understand the freeing part. Over the years since Mara and my brothers-in-arms died, I learned that sharing about them helps me cope. It doesn’t make the losses any less significant; it’s simply not the first thing I think of each morning. It’s harder with Mara than my army buddies though.”
“It makes sense.”
My phone vibrates on the night table. This can’t be good, especially when I see who the caller is. “Yeah, Jake?”
“Does your report for Mr. Kellerman have any connection to tomorrow?”
“No, why?”
“I was going over the plan and the guest list again, and his name is on the list along with a guest.”
“Nothing in Blaine’s report would indicate that he was affected in any way by the attack. He levied one threat at the beginning of this tour after Bruce cut him off from any access to Carys. He hasn’t done anything of note other than show up to at least of one her shows in every city since then.”
Calliope tenses beside me. I tighten my hold on her as best I can.
Connor continues, “He wouldn’t have been invited unless he was directly affected in some way, nor would he get a seat in the gallery. I assume you asked Blaine to dig deeper.”
“I did. Callie doesn’t know him, right?”
“No, I asked her when I narrowed down the threat list. Please make sure Blaine checks his family history. I don’t see any other plausible reason he would be an invited guest as he clearly isn’t a performer, or he would’ve been at rehearsal this morning.”
“Should we be concerned that she’s going to be there as herself? Is there anyway Kellerman would be able to pinpoint her as Carys?”
I consider Jake’s question. “I wouldn’t think so. From the time I have been working as her security, Kellerman didn’t attend any of the meet and greets or have backstage access. Even so, she’s only herself once she’s in her suite while in a tour city. Well, that was true until her vacation and this trip. Even though we went to the movies in Boston, she was in disguise. I didn’t pick up any tails in Crescent Bay, neither did Maia when they went to the salon and the grocery store. Is there a seating chart or only a guest list?”
“A guest list, but from the information you got from Stacey, Calliope wouldn’t be seated until after she sings. If you feel uncomfortable or her seat is too close to Mr. Kellerman, you can decide to leave right after she sings. I’m quite certain it’ll put you in the doghouse but….”
“It’ll be completely worth it to protect her and Carys’s identity.” There isn’t anything I won’t do for her, including making her angry and forcing her to leave an event that is extremely important to her if it will jeopardize her safety.
“I sincerely hope it doesn’t come to that. I have only made Norah angry twice, and one of those time was for her safety. It took some serious groveling to get back on her good side.”
I laugh. “Ideally it won’t come to that. Call me back when you get an update from Blaine.”
“Will do. Later, Connor.”
“Night, Jake.”
I exhale and reframe everything that Jake shared so I don’t alarm Calliope too much. I’m sure she heard most of it anyway considering how close she is to me. If she could burrow into my skin, I’m sure she would attempt it.
“How much of that did you hear?”
She presses a kiss to the side of my rib cage. “Most of it. I won’t be angry at you if you make me leave because of Kellerman.”
“I appreciate that. It would be okay if you were. You’ll need someone to blame for missing the ceremony.”
“True, but it won’t be you. I know you would never risk my safety even for something that’s important to me.” She turns her head and presses another kiss to my side.
“I won’t. Do you recall
what Mr. Kellerman looks like?” I swipe my phone to find the photo from Blaine’s initial report.
“Vaguely.” I turn my phone, showing her the picture. “I do remember him. He was escorted out of the meet and greet by Bruce in Chicago. He was the last person in line, and Bruce entered indicating that I was behind schedule. I was polite, but he wasn’t happy. He felt he didn’t get enough time to talk to me. I assume Bruce cut him off after that since I haven’t seen him again.”
My brain is spinning with so many scenarios, and none of them are good. “Bruce did cut him off, but he’s been at each tour stop since for at least one show. Did anything stand out about what he asked you?”
She wrinkles her nose. Despite our current topic of discussion, it’s adorable. “Nothing stands out. I never answer questions about my background. I realize never is a strong word, but I’m very private, as you know. If anyone asks something about me personally, I simply ask who to make the autograph out to or their favorite song so I can dedicate it to him or her during that show. Generally, the main demographic that attends the meet and greets are tweens and teens. They don’t care where I’m from. Most of my fans want to know about my next album, where I get my song inspiration from, and an autograph.”
“Okay. There’s nothing else we can do except sleep at this point. Jake will call when he knows something.”
“Are you worried about tomorrow?”
I shake my head even though her eyes are closed. “I trust Jake with my life and yours.”
She snuggles deeper into me. The only way we could be closer is if we were making love. “Thank you for being here with me.” Her words are slightly muted against my skin.
“There’s no place I would rather be.”
Shifting, she looks up at me. “I mean being here for me and not working. I’m sure that wasn’t an easy choice.”
“It was the easiest decision I’ve ever made. I love you, Calliope. I will always choose you, choose us over anything else.” Every single word is true. I will choose her for the rest of my life, hopefully soon.
“Thank you for loving me like that.”