“Perhaps, perhaps not.” I decide not to confirm or deny Anika’s beliefs as I don’t know myself. She has the right to believe what she wants.
“There’s no perhaps about it, Calli. God’s ways are higher.”
Brand jumps forward to confront her. I have a hunch this isn’t their first conversation on this topic. “We’re not talking about God right now. We’re talking about Crimson, Anika.”
I raise my hands in front of my body to try to calm the escalating situation. “Look, the better answer here is Crimson has foreseen that I will straighten out the quarreling amongst the clans and unite them for a bigger purpose.”
Brand responds, “You should have led with that statement, Calli. What’s the bigger purpose?”
“A cosmic energy blast is going to hit in a couple years and potentially cause a lot of damage. The clans need to be united to help out.”
“See,” Anika beams. “Crimson bends to God’s will.”
Brand practically explodes. “How can you still believe in a god when you have all this evidence there can’t be one?”
“This evidence proves to me there is a god.” Anika folds her arms across her chest.
“If there is, why does he let all those kids starve to death every day? Why did he let your parents get killed? And don’t tell me it was His will!”
I glare at Brand, shaking my head as Anika bursts into tears.
He turns to me and says, “Sorry, I have a short fuse today.”
The room spins wildly around me and I find myself at the point in the conversation where Brand says, “Okay, I just gotta ask . . .” he changes directions with his question, “who else is starving?”
“We just ate a couple hours ago, Brand,” Beth exclaims.
I’m still hungry. I say, “I could go for some food.”
“There’s some leftovers in the fridge,” Anika says.
“Come on, Calli.” Brand motions for me to follow. Once we’re in the kitchen, he whispers, “I’m so glad you’re here.” Then, rather unexpectedly, he wraps his arms around me and hugs me tight. I hug him back.
“Thanks. You know there’s no other place I’d rather be.” I’m kidding, of course.
“Whatever.” Brand lets go, obviously picking up on my disingenuous tone, and opens the fridge. “The only good thing with this arrangement is Anika’s an excellent cook. She made a killer dinner.”
I touch his arm and ask, “How’s Beth doing?”
He lowers his voice. “She’s not talking about her parents. She didn’t go to the funeral or wake or whatever service was held.”
“Well, just keep giving her your support. She’ll get through it, eventually.”
As Brand and I dish up potatoes and chicken gravy, I realize I miss hanging out with him. He’s really fun and witty. Never a dull moment. As he plops some cold gravy that jiggles more like Jell-O on my plate, I say, “I really am glad I’m here, Brand.”
“You might want to reserve judgment for a couple more days.”
“How are you doing?”
“Fine,” he says. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, you know, after being a part of Freedom’s death, and Suz not working out, I just wondered how you’re doing.”
“That was so long ago, Calli. I’m over it.”
I have to remind myself what it’s like inside his head. Even though the events took place only a couple weeks ago, in Brand’s mind it might as well have been years ago.
I change the subject. “How is your quartz working?”
“Exactly the same as before. My repeats are spot-on and I can still take people with me, obviously.”
“I hope the power lasts forever.”
“Me too. I’m thinking of having the quartz inserted under my skin.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I’m afraid of losing it.”
“But you were so willing to part with your power at General Harding’s,” I say.
“I know. I didn’t want the ability any more. But then I realized if the power was going to be stored in the quartz, I’d better be the one to guard it so the wrong hands don’t get hold of it.” He pauses for a moment, then says, “I’m immune to obsidian, Calli.”
I contemplate his words for a moment while my food warms up in the microwave. Brand is right. If someone with the wrong intentions stole his quartz, the results could be catastrophic, especially if obsidian cannot cancel the power. Not many people know his repeating power is contained in the crystal. I think it’s a good idea to keep it that way.
“I think you made a good choice, Brand.” I pause, then say, “What’s going on with Anika? She’s changed.”
“I don’t know. She’s been like that since she got here.”
“Well, try to be patient with her. She’s been through a lot.”
“We all have, Calli.”
After we eat our food and clean up after ourselves, Brand says, “Before I repeated a little while ago, you said something about a cosmic energy blast coming soon.”
“Yeah.”
He points to the other room. “They don’t know what you said. You know, because we repeated. Do you want to tell them again?”
“Well, yeah. It’s kind of the reason I came out here. That, and to help you guys.”
We walk into the room and sit with Beth and Anika.
Brand says, “Calli has something to tell us.”
“Uh, yes, so in two years there’s going to be a big cosmic energy blast that affects a lot of people.”
Anika is the first to speak. “How do you know?”
“Crimson told me. She can foresee the blasts.”
Beth asks, “What kind of power will it bring?”
“A new one. People affected will be able to harness fire, water, and wind. There’s some other powers too, but I’m not sure exactly what they are.”
“So, it’s more than one power?” Brand leans forward, intrigued.
“No, it’s just one, but think of it like the Hunters. They can smell, see, and hear long distances. Some have stronger smellers than others. Some have stronger vision than others. With this new power, some will be more powerful than others, but the overall cosmic energy has to do with the elements. Those who gain that power will be called Elementals.”
“What are we supposed to do about it?” Anika asks with genuine concern.
“The clans need to be united to be able to help those with the new power learn about the will of nature,” I say.
Brands smirks. “Well, that sounds a whole lot easier said than done. If I had control over the elements of nature I wouldn’t think anyone could teach me anything.”
I think about what he just said. “That kind of gives me an idea of what Elementals might possibly think.”
“You said two years?” Beth says.
“Two years to the blast in Portland, Oregon. The power will manifest depending on how the DNA evolves. Some of the powers we have now manifest as soon as a child is able to vocalize what they’re seeing in the future or reading in others’ minds. So, I guess it’s safe to say we could be dealing with affected kids in, say, five years.”
Beth says, “What does the future show? What do you see?”
“I can’t see clearly enough to determine details. I can tell you I imagine the possibility of big trouble. I’ve been assigned with uniting the clans and Diamond Bearers for the event.”
“Oh, no stress there.” Brand chuckles. “But why you? You’re like the youngest. Well, besides Jonas.”
“Believe me, I asked the same question. Crimson chose me for this task. That’s all I know.”
Anika says, “I don’t think this power will be as bad as you think, Calli.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because it’s not like the world is going to end.”
“Go on.” Brand encourages, as he moves his hand in a circular motion.
“God is at the helm. He won’t allow the world to be destroyed by a cosmic ray.”
“Maybe he’s the
one sending it,” Brand says, feigning over-the-top excitement.
“I know you’re teasing me, Brand, but I think you’re more right than you realize. God is in control of His ship. He’s not going to let anything destroy this planet.”
“Except for Him, right?”
“Well, we are His creation. He has that right.”
Brand looks at me and puts his thoughts on the edge of his mind. Do you want me to repeat?
“No,” I say aloud.
Anika throws a questioning glance at me.
I ask, “Where is this coming from, Anika? I haven’t known you for very long, but I’ve never heard you speak about your beliefs before. Why now?”
“I guess my perspective has changed with the deaths of my parents, and earlier, the murder of Brand’s father, and Neema and everyone else. There’s been so much death. I’m just trying to process it all, and the easiest way—the only way that makes sense in my head—is by going back to what I’ve been taught.”
“That’s understandable,” I say. “I want to clarify something. The coming cosmic blast isn’t going to destroy the planet. It will irradiate the region where it hits and many lives will be lost unless we help. I’d like to think that if it’s God’s will that we shouldn’t interfere, then every effort we make will be thwarted and we may feel like it’s not meant to be, but we will have at least tried.”
“I agree, Calli,” Anika says.
“I think I’ll charge you a topaz with the Seer power so you can understand what I’m talking about. You can best honor your parents by helping other people. I hope you’ll help.”
“I want to help, Calli.”
“Great. I think it would be good for all of us to agree not to discuss religion, neither for nor against. We all have a very long time to spend together if you three choose to become Bearers. Let’s not spend it quarrelling over beliefs. Let’s focus on the task at hand and figure out what needs to be done.”
They nod their heads in agreement to my suggestion.
* * *
It’s bedtime. I take the couch because I don’t want to oust any of them from their beds. Anika had already established the house rules of propriety before I arrived—according to her beliefs—meaning Brand and Beth have to stay separated. I can see how this is weighing heavily on Beth and Brand. I muse to myself that Anika wouldn’t last a day in my college dormitory. Brand surprises me, though, with his acceptance of Anika’s chastity rules. I was able to read his mind for a second to see that he’s trying to get along with Anika out of respect for her recent loss. That’s why he keeps repeating conversations back, to preserve the unity of the group.
One thing I noticed throughout the entire evening was that Beth didn’t join in on the conversations. She was rather quiet. I’m left wondering what she was thinking.
As I lay on the couch, I feel for Chris’s diamond, then stop. I check the clock on the wall and add two hours. It’s 1:00 a.m. his time. I figure if I’m able to bi-locate to him, he’ll be asleep—there shouldn’t be any harm in that. I focus on his diamond, imagining our two diamonds as one, but I can’t seem to make a connection. I try to speak to his mind. Nothing.
I roll over and press my head into my pillow.
I send my thoughts to Crimson, figuring with our quantum entanglement she’ll know I’m struggling to use my powers. I wait for a response. Nothing.
I try to connect with Maetha’s diamond. Right away, she says, What is it, Calli? Are you all right?
Yes, I’m fine. I just wanted to make sure I can connect mentally with Diamond Bearers. I can’t seem to connect with Chris.
Let me try.
I wait for her response.
Hmm, I can’t connect with him either. I’m sure everything’s fine, Calli. Ask Crimson if she’s with him.
I can’t get her to respond.
Oh, okay. That makes sense. She must be with him and has protected the conversation. She can hear your thoughts, though. Don’t worry.
Okay, thanks. I remember Brand’s conversation about the quartz. Wait, Maetha, one more question. Do you think the quartz crystals could be inserted into a person’s body? Would the body accept them?
Do you mean under the skin? Or in the heart?
Probably under the skin.
I’ll look into it.
We end our mental connection. I lie on the couch thinking about how I inherited the Blue Diamond from Maetha because she went over Crimson’s head and gave Freedom a diamond. Neema had fallen in love with him and persuaded Maetha to bend the rules. Both women made bad decisions because of emotions, because of love.
A couple days ago, Chris said he couldn’t believe I’d never had a boyfriend before age nineteen and that scares him. I’ve gone over his words in my head, thinking through the reasons. Why wasn’t I attracted to any particular boy, or a boy attracted to me? I know I was quite nerdy and never really put myself out there, and my expectations were set quite high, but was there another reason why I was that way?
I think about my earlier hug with Brand in the kitchen. Would I have fallen for Brand’s charms back in high school if I hadn’t had Chris in the back of my mind? Would I have felt attracted to Jonas if Chris and I were not an item? What about Travis at the college mixer? Sure, Travis was only following his duties working with Freedom, but what if?
Pondering my past social awkwardness and my apparently abnormal hormones brings new questions to mind. Crimson told me I’ve been protected all my life. Does this mean I’ve been protected from myself? I wonder exactly how much involvement Crimson or Maetha have actually had in my life.
I call out to Crimson in my mind. Please talk to me.
Crimson replies, I’m here. But I’m not sure you’re ready to hear the answer.
So, you have meddled with my hormones, haven’t you?
Crimson bi-locates to my position. I sit up and face her. “Secure our conversation, Calli.”
I stand and walk around her projected image, whispering, “No one will be able to hear.” The blue shimmering mist develops and connects in a glittering circle. I sit back down.
“Yes, Calli, situations around you were controlled. For you to be in the proper state of mind to carry the diamond, you needed to be free of attachment.”
“You controlled my mind?”
“Maetha did, somewhat, under my direction.”
“Are you telling me I haven’t been in control of, or in charge of, my life at all?” My blood is beginning to boil.
“No, I’m not saying that,” she says. “I know what you’re feeling right now, Calli.”
“No! No, you don’t.”
“You’re feeling betrayed. You put your trust, your happiness, and your life in my hands and now you’ve learned things weren’t what you thought they were.”
Now I know how Freedom felt. “Yeah, I do feel betrayed. I feel cheated out of a normal life. Chris is completely afraid to touch me for fear I’ll break or something, or maybe I’ll run in the other direction. If I’d had any relationships or simple dates even, I wouldn’t be so scary to Chris. Finding out I’ve been lied to and manipulated has messed with my mind. Was any of my life real?”
“You’re not a robot, or a computer-game creature being told what, when, and how to act. You are a human girl. I manipulated your life only when possible detractions were about to interfere—like making you walk a little slower to narrowly miss getting hit by a speeding driver who was running a red light, or preventing a boy from interacting with you prior to your track meet so you would be unattached when you went with Chris on the delivery.”
“Oh, so I’d be attracted to Chris?” I reply angrily.
“No, Calli, I didn’t have anything to do with your attraction to Chris. That was you, one-hundred percent. The mind-control power can’t force someone to fall in love. However, what if you had a boyfriend back in Ohio when you went to the Runner’s compound? You would still have been attracted to Chris, but you wouldn’t have betrayed your boyfriend. You also would
n’t have felt the intense need to figure out why Chris was about to die. The delivery would have played out completely different. In fact, it wouldn’t have played out at all.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Many people and situations were manipulated at the last minute to make everything come together properly. If something fell out of alignment, I would have scrapped the attempt.”
“You know, you’re always going on about choices, Crimson. Did I get to make my own choices anywhere in all this?” My voice squeaks, on the verge of tears.
“Yes. You could have said no to going to Montana. You could have called your parents to go home.”
My tears overflow and my throat constricts, making my voice change. “I felt pressured to go with Clara. Everyone expected me to go.”
“You still made a choice. You chose to alter the future to save Chris. No one pressured you to do that, and not everyone put in your position would have made the choice. I want you to know it’s all right to feel anger right now. Frankly, I’d worry about you if you weren’t. What I ask of you is that you remember the Blue Diamond cannot control other’s hearts or emotions. For instance, I cannot force you to accept this. You’ve made choices all your life. Yes, some of your life’s happenings were manipulated, but you were never not in control of your life or your happiness.”
Her words don’t really make me feel any better. “What about Chris? Would he have been attracted to me if he hadn’t seen me in a vision? If he had walked past me on the street, would he have done a double take?”
“Don’t dwell on this line of thinking, Calli.”
Oh no! I didn’t want her to answer that way. Tears roll down my face. “Why not?”
“The world is full of ‘what if’s’ and chance occurrences. I couldn’t tell who you would sacrifice yourself for until Maetha ran the scenarios. I didn’t know it would be Chris or I would have prepared him better.”
“Don’t you mean you would have controlled his life more?” I immediately regret the snide remark.
Crimson pauses and studies my face.
I wipe my eyes and try to stop my involuntary hiccups. I wish I could tell what she’s thinking. Here I am, her only option for saving the world, and I’m having a meltdown.
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