"You broke into my house."
"The door was unlocked."
A smile that could only be described as ornery crossed his lips.
Her stomach swooped, as if she’d been thrown in the air performing one of the cheer stunts all those years ago.
"I'm already here. Unless you want to call security and make a big scene, I'm staying."
She gave in with a muttered "fine," and he followed her through the heavy door back into the waiting room. How much longer could this take?
She'd never realized how close the uncomfortable plastic waiting room chairs sat to each other until she sat next to Noah. He took up the entire chair, and with his arm on the armrest between them, he took up plenty of her space too. Her shoulder was pressed against his biceps, but, if she shifted away, he would feel it. This was her space. She wasn't giving him any more of it. So she stayed where she was, even though being so close to him was awkward and uncomfortable.
I'm not shaped like a woman anymore. Why had she admitted that to him? Every time he'd crossed her mind in the last few days, her memory had played back the words, and she'd almost choked on her embarrassment.
I'm not interested. Why hadn't she said that instead?
Maybe because it would've been a lie. After the kiss they shared, he’d have had every right to call her on her baloney. He had put their kiss in his top five? It was by far the best kiss she'd ever had.
Why had it had to happen now? With him?
Now that she had a boatload of baggage and no desire to share it with anyone.
"Did you eat lunch?” he asked. “Do you need me to get anything from the cafeteria?"
She could appreciate his thoughtfulness, even though the man irritated her like nothing else. "I'm fine."
"Your doctor might buy that, but every time you say I'm fine, it just reminds me you're lying."
She crossed her arms over her middle, not caring if he could feel the defensive posture from where he sat. "I am fine. I don't care whether you believe me or not. How do you get here anyway?"
"Car service."
"You keep surprising me. First, walking to my house. Now this. So all this time... you could've left your farm anytime you wanted?"
"Pretty much."
She couldn't contain the question. "So why don't you ever go anywhere? Or have friends? You can't be happy all alone."
"You're wrong about that. I am happy."
"Every time you say that," she mimicked him, "I know you're lying. Nobody wants to be as alone as you are."
He laughed softly, a hard edge to the sound. "Why is that so hard for you to believe? I have Aiden to help me with my business. I talk to my mom frequently." He grimaced, as if he was embarrassed to admit it.
But he had no social life. She didn't think anybody could be such an introvert that they didn't need at least some companionship.
She noticed that his knee was bouncing. He couldn't sit still. Another announcement on the loudspeaker had him tensing up.
"Are you nervous or something?" she teased. She let her hand rest on his thigh.
He froze, his leg going still. Maybe he hadn't realized he was doing the nervous tic until she'd mentioned it. "I don't like hospitals."
How insensitive was she? She hadn't given one thought to the weeks he'd spent in a hospital bed, recovering from the surgery that hadn't been able to save his vision. He probably hated hospitals even more than she did.
"I'm sorry. You really don't have to stay."
She started to pull away, but his hand closed over hers, engulfing it completely.
"If you hold my hand,” he said, “it'll make everything better."
She took a deep breath, prepared to tell him off. She didn't need to explain why a relationship between them was a bad idea.
He beat her to it. "For once, can you save your argument for another time?"
She silently mimicked his words, but she didn't pull away. When she glanced sideways at him, she saw a smug smile playing on his lips.
Before she could react, a nurse in purple scrubs opened the door to the restricted hallway and called her name.
It was the excuse she needed to drop his hand. But, why did she feel so bereft when she stood? She glanced at the nurse and back at Noah where he sat, unmovable as a stone.
"I'll wait here," he said. "You can drive me home when you're done."
* * *
It took close to an hour, and Noah was bombarded with unpleasant memories the entire time he waited.
He'd been so worried, in such a rush to get to Jilly, that he hadn't even thought to stuff a pair of headphones into a pocket. If he had, he could've listened to music or one of his favorite podcasts or even had Aiden forward him emails to follow up on.
Instead, he had none of those options and too much time to think about Jilly.
He couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was about her that drove him crazy.
Today, it wasn't crazy so much as genuine worry.
After Lindsey's visit, he'd imagined Jilly bleeding and lying alone in the emergency room. He might not need anyone around to be happy, but with Iris babysitting, he hadn't wanted Jilly to be alone.
He knew she didn't have much of a relationship with her dad. The old man had done some crappy things and had pretty much been run out of town after Iris had brought it all to light.
Jilly was determined to put on a brave face, but who was there for her? Who did she have in her life to be vulnerable with? He didn't have any answers, and he was pretty much jangling from nerves when he heard the cadence of her voice, muffled at first and then clear as she must've pushed through the door that separated the exam rooms from the waiting room. He heard her footsteps on the linoleum as she approached, and he stood, grateful to get out of that stupid, uncomfortable chair.
He let her guide him rather than relying on his cane. He could do it if he needed to, but he was hungry for her touch, even if it was only her fingertips resting on his forearm.
She didn't say anything as they walked down the hall and got on the elevator. Nothing when they crossed the lobby and emerged out into the mild winter sunshine. A few more steps, and then,
"This is me." Her words were clipped and almost sharp.
He tapped the back bumper of what must be her car with his cane.
"It's a minivan. There are probably candy wrappers and pretzel sticks and other junk, so don't expect it to be too clean." She sounded defensive or almost angry.
He grabbed her elbow before she could walk away.
"What's going on? Is everything okay?"
He felt a shudder go through her.
He felt the words before she opened her mouth to say them.
"Don't even try to say you're fine."
The fact that she didn't argue with him said more than anything else.
She still wasn't talking. What was wrong?
"I came all the way down here to be with you," he said. "I can out-stubborn you for however long I need to. You don't have to give me details. What do you need? Do you want me to call your sister?"
"No! No, I..." Another breath shuddered through her. "I'm not ready to talk to Iris yet."
So there was something going on. He clamped down on the rogue emotions that shot through him.
"It's probably nothing. Something came up on one of the scans. The blood work won't come back for a few days. The doctor said she'll know more then."
Her voice went shaky at the end, as if she was near tears.
And he did the only thing he could do. He used his leverage on her elbow to bring her closer and folded her into his arms. She hung onto his waist, which is how he knew she was more upset than she was trying to let on. If she hadn't been so shaken, she would've pushed him away.
Probably nothing wasn't nothing. After his mom had mentioned the C-word, Noah had been concerned. But he'd never considered the fact that the cancer might come back.
Having her in his arms again fired up all of the nerve endings that had gone haywire the other night. But
all of them were doused by her potential bad news.
"What are you gonna tell your sister?" he murmured into her hair.
"Nothing for now." She pulled away, and he let her go.
She remained close, a nervous motion of her hands jangling a set of keys.
"You need to tell somebody. You can't carry this on your own."
"It might be nothing. Iris lost Mama too. The last thing I want to do right now is remind her of everything we went through when we were teenagers. She's been through it with me once. And this could be a false alarm."
He'd forgotten that their mother had died of cancer. Or maybe he'd been so self-centered back in high school that he hadn't really noticed when their mom had passed. At school, no one had really talked about it.
He could understand why Jilly wanted to keep this to herself for now. She was concerned for her sister and didn't want Iris worried over nothing.
But that meant that Jilly was going to bear the brunt of worrying on her own. Who was she going to talk to? Who was going to check on her?
11
Just after dinner two days later, Jilly's phone rang. She had a pile of dirty dishes on the counter and was unloading clean dishes from the dishwasher.
Happy for the distraction, she grabbed her cell from the kitchen chair where she'd left it.
It was Aiden.
She was confused but she picked up.
"I'm calling on Noah's behalf."
She laughed her disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me." She and the kids hadn't been to his house in two days, thanks to a rainy spell that had made painting impossible. They didn't have much left. What could Noah be complaining about now?
Aiden hesitated. "I'm sorry?"
"Noah asked you to call me again?" She couldn't help it if a little anger seeped out in her tone. She'd really thought they were past this.
"If Noah has something to say to me, he can call me himself. Or better yet come over here and say it to my face."
"Ms. Tatum—"
"I told you to call me Jilly."
"Yes, Jilly. I'm sorry. Noah insisted I call you."
"Well, you can tell your employer… Actually, you know what? I'm going to tell him myself."
Aiden started to say something, but she couldn't hear him because she was already hanging up the phone. She mashed two buttons and raised the phone to her ear to talk to Noah.
"Hey." His voice was a mellow drawl that reminded her somehow of sweet honey, just like it had the first afternoon Noah had read aloud for the boys' benefit. A pulse of awareness went through her, and she had to close her eyes against it.
"I thought we were past the whole using-Aiden-as-a-middleman thing?"
He laughed softly, and the sound sent a shot of adrenaline through her. She quashed it ruthlessly.
"Got you a little riled up, did we?"
He sounded almost proud of himself. Certainly amused.
"You did it on purpose," she realized. The nerve.
"I don't see why it's necessary for you to involve Aiden in your plans to irritate me." Two plates clinked together loudly as she removed them from the dishwasher. "You do it just by breathing, you know."
He laughed again, completely unperturbed. "Hang on. Don't hang up. I have a legit reason that I need to talk to you."
She waited. She refused to give him the satisfaction of asking what.
"I need your help."
"With what?" Had he said he needed help? "I didn't know you could actually string those words together."
"Ouch!" He didn't sound hurt in the least. "Can you and the kids come over for a little bit?"
She rubbed the pounding spot on her forehead. It had been a long day of laying out the irrigation lines for the huge community garden she planned. Then, the kids had come home from school with bad attitudes. She was ready to give them their baths and put everyone to bed and maybe cue up Pride and Prejudice, the 1995 Keira Knightley version.
"Please." He sounded serious now. "It won't take long."
"Fine."
She rounded up the kids. Lindsey was the only one who seemed excited about heading over to Noah's. They all put on their coats, and she didn't bother getting in the car. The boys whispered to each other as they all trudged across the dark field and crossed the fence to reach Noah's house.
He was waiting at the door.
She lagged behind as Lindsey hugged him with one arm around his waist. The boys trudged inside.
He didn't make them wait. "Guys, I have a problem."
She looked around, but the house was spotless and neat, as always.
What was going on?
"I bought a cat. A kitten, actually."
Lindsey's face lit up.
Jilly was skeptical. "You got a cat?"
He leveled a look on her. "Maybe I got a little tired of how quiet it is around here."
She rolled her eyes, not even bothering to hide it even though she'd griped at Casey earlier for doing the same to her. Noah had to be making this up.
"We were doing great," Noah said. "She found her litter box. We played a little bit with a feather tied onto a string. She even took a nap on my desk while I was working earlier. But now I can't find her."
Maybe he was being serious. He might be ornery, but she didn't think this was the kind of joke he would play on the kids.
"Are you for real?" PJ asked.
"I heard her go in the kitchen and eat some food out of her bowl. When I went in to get a glass of water a little bit later, I didn't hear her anywhere."
"Did you try calling her name?" Jilly asked.
"I'm not sure she really knows her name yet."
So... the cat wouldn't come when its name was called. It seemed like a recipe for disaster. But Jilly kept that to herself.
Lindsey was practically vibrating with excitement. "What's the cat's name?"
Was it her imagination, or was a blush rising in Noah's face?
"Her name is Honey Bear."
Jilly couldn't stifle a giggle, and he pointed a finger in her direction. "Not a word."
She pressed her lips together to stifle any further mirth.
"What's she look like?" PJ asked. As if there might be two cats in the house, and he needed to make sure he found the right one.
She couldn’t help smiling a little at that.
Only Casey seemed disinterested, his arms crossed and staring off into space.
"She's a tortoiseshell," Noah said. "Black and orange. At least, that's what the guy who sold her to me said she looked like."
Lindsey and PJ ran off, calling for the kitten.
Casey followed, dragging his feet. "This is dumb."
Jilly stayed with Noah, determined to try and figure out what he was playing at.
"If you were planning on somehow gifting your new pet to me, think again."
He looked affronted. "Honey Bear is mine. We've already bonded. Why would I give her to you?"
Jilly couldn't help teasing him. "You've bonded so much that the cat has already run away from you?"
"She didn't run away."
Jilly sent him a smirk and, even though there's no way he could've seen it, he pulled a face at her as if he had.
"Are you sure she didn't get outside?"
"When you guys came in was the first time the door has been opened since she arrived."
So the cat was here somewhere.
"You know Lindsey is going to want to come over here every day now."
He shrugged. "She's my favorite neighbor."
Was this the same man who’d slammed the door in their face a few weeks back?
She heard drawers banging from down the hall. Maybe the bathroom.
Lindsey chanted distantly. "Here, kitty kitty. Here, kitty."
"You know, they’re probably going to leave your house a wreck."
He shrugged. "Things can be put back in their places."
"Why did you really get the cat?"
"Because I wanted it."
She shoo
k her head. "I know what you're doing—"
"I found her!" PJs voice rang from the kitchen.
* * *
I know what you're doing.
Noah was glad one of them did. He was out of his depth, over his head and swimming in shark-infested waters as he went into the kitchen, Jilly on his heels.
"Over here."
He followed the sound of PJ's voice toward the lower cabinets where he kept a set of mixing bowls and cutting boards.
"Next to you." Jilly's voice came just before the brush of her sleeve against his, the awareness of her body in the space next to him. "She's curled up on the bottom shelf, sleeping—well, yawning now. We woke her up."
Honey Bear had simply been taking a nap. How had she gotten inside the cabinet? Had he left one of the doors open?
Footsteps clattered from the back of the house as Lindsey rushed into the room. Casey's slightly-heavier trod was slower to join them.
"Ohh. Are you just a sleepy girl? You're a sweet thing, aren't you?" Jilly was baby-talking to his kitten. She stood up, and he followed. A soft rumble came from her arms, where he pictured the kitten cradled. Honey Bear was purring.
Lindsey piped in. "Oh, look at her tiny paws!"
"Let me see!" PJ said.
"Get outta my way.” Lindsey again.
Both kids' voices were crowding Jilly's space. Someone shifted from further back across the room. Casey.
"Easy guys." Jilly’s voice was firm. "She's really little. We don't want to overwhelm her."
"She's yawning again.” Lindsey sounded amazed. “Look at her teeth!"
Noah had been counting on Lindsey being drawn to the kitten.
But bringing pleasure to the girl wasn't the only reason he’d brought the pet home. His house now felt too empty when he was by himself. He figured the cat would be pretty quiet. And maybe there was a part of him that wanted to prove to Jilly that he could be happy here without human companionship.
"The cabinet door was closed when I came in." PJ sounded puzzled. "How'd she get in there? What if next time she can't get out?"
"I was putting away some dishes earlier," Noah said. "Maybe I accidentally left one of the doors ajar."
"Can I hold her?" Lindsey asked.
"Why don't we take her in the living room?” Noah said. “I've got a basket of toys, and you kids can sit on the floor and play with her in there."
Cowgirl Next Door (Sutter's Hollow Book 3) Page 8