“The König wishes for the princess Aurelia to visit him in his chambers.”
It was Lord Haven’s voice in the doorway and I shivered. I wished I could tuck myself deep beneath the blankets of my bed and disappear.
“The princess is ill, Lord Haven. She will not be able to attend to the König today.”
“The König requests that Aurelia join him no matter what state she is in,” he snapped.
“I’m sorry, milord,” Myriah sniffed back haughtily. “She will not.”
Myriah began to close the door, but the room echoed with the sound of Lord Haven’s hand smacking against it. He peeked into the room to stare at me. As soon as I saw his gaze, I understood that Lord Haven knew of my father’s deed. He had been a part of what had happened. Lord Haven’s sins were the same as my father’s.
“You will come to your father. You were told to do so,” Lord Haven growled through gritted teeth as Myriah continued to try and force the door closed. He braced his hand against the wood. I scooted back against the headboard of my bed.
“Did you not hear me?” Myriah gasped as she pushed against the door. “The princess is ill. She will not go to the König. You can tell him his deeds have sickened her. He only has himself to blame.”
Lord Haven’s eyes drifted to Myriah. Perhaps he was shocked to know I had spoken the truth to her.
“It’s too soon to claim child, if that’s what you’re insinuating,” he said with a dissatisfied frown and Myriah snorted.
“You best hope the König gave no such devil’s child to his own daughter.”
Lord Haven glared at Myriah.
“The princess will not go,” Myriah repeated forcefully. She didn’t allow Lord Haven to say another word. Instead, she succeeded in slamming the door, pushing him out at last. I could feel the tears stir to life, but Myriah shook her head as she studied me. She managed to share a warm comforting smile from across the room.
“None of that. We must be strong.”
I gave a small nod and wiped the wetness from underneath my eye.
“I just don’t want to be strong,” I confessed softly. “I feel as though I don’t know how to be. Not after . . .”
“Aurelia, there will come a time in your life when you’ll face things you don’t know how to face, people you will not wish to see, and things you’ll never want to do, but you’ll have to. And this my dear, is one of those things. You are strong, and you must believe it. No matter how small you might feel now, you must not let anyone strike your heart with fear.”
“And what if he comes back?” I asked with a trembling voice.
“What if he does?” she asked with a scoff. “We can answer the door and then, we can simply close it. If the König decides to barge his way in, he’ll have to get through me first.”
I was fearful of what my father could do, just from witnessing him myself. I tried my best to keep my fears at bay as Myriah pulled me from bed, and curled my hair into a small, low bun. Just as she finished, the door startled us again, a pounding louder than before rattling the hinges.
My breath caught in my throat. We both turned to stare at each other. Myriah lifted her hand, motioning for me to stay in place as she apprehensively edged closer.
“Yes?” She called out curtly, and a knock came in response.
“Yes?” Myriah tried again and my father’s loud, “Aurelia!” echoed back.
I knew from the fury intensifying in his voice he was not pleased. Myriah’s eyes asked me silently if I was ready for her to open the door. I inhaled as much as I could and nodded.
I saw my father in an arrangement of furs and gold in the doorway. His eyes searched the room, finding Myriah and then me.
“You did not come when I asked for you.” His words were not a question, but an angry accusation. I had not obeyed.
“She is ill, Your Majesty,” Myriah interjected but my father did not acknowledge her.
“I told you I would call on you and I expected you would come,” he said sternly, taking a step into the room. His glare burned into mine. I shivered but I stood.
“Perhaps I did not wish to see you,” I tried to find my voice as I continued to hold his gaze. “After how you soiled me.”
“I did no such thing,” he interjected with a haughty laugh as he slammed the door behind him. Myriah took a step towards him, but with the swing of his arm he pushed her out of his way.
“Away, woman,” he growled. “You keep your nose out of my affairs.”
He pointed his finger towards Myriah, locking his gaze with her. There was a tense moment until he turned his attention back to me. He grabbed my wrist with his fingers, and pushed me back down into the chair behind me. A jolt of fear struck me like cold water with his touch.
“I told you I would call for you,” he said angrily. “But I suppose now that I am here, we shall share our glorious news with your servant as well.” He grinned as he looked between the two of us. “In a fortnight, Aurelia shall become my bride.”
His gaze drifted back to mine as though he were daring me to object. He smiled more proudly when he realized I was not going to. My father leaned in towards me and brushed his lips against mine, just as I tried to push him away. With his hands around my wrists, he tugged me forward, closer, and press his lips against mine more firmly.
“No!” Myriah’s hands were between us in an instant.
I fell back against the floor just as I heard the impact of my father’s hand against her cheek.
“Insolence!” He shouted and pushed Myriah back, until she was eventually pinned against the wall. My heart raced as I pushed myself up on my elbows.
“Perhaps I’ve shown you too much mercy in the past. Perhaps I allowed you to get away with too much. Today, that changes.” His hands lifted to her throat as he began to squeeze. “You will no longer wait upon Princess Aurelia or step foot in the palace for that matter.”
He struck her again, the slap of his hand echoing in my ears. My voice filled the room with my pleas for him to stop, to release her, but he ignored me. I pushed myself up from the ground and pulled on his arm but he pushed me away with a growl.
“You’re a proud cow,” he snarled, glaring at Myriah. “I shall send you out of the palace just as I should have done long ago!”
Myriah’s glare did not falter as they stared at each other. The red imprint of his hand on her cheek deepened in color. I tried to push myself to stand again, but I saw Myriah raise her hand by her side. Be still. My father turned to look at me and pointed back at Myriah; a snarl on his lips.
“Do you wish to keep this pig, Liebling? To have her dress and tend to you?”
I glanced at Myriah, waiting to see if she’d give me direction in what to say next, but her stare was locked upon my father.
“I wish to keep Myriah at my side,” I admitted softly as tears rolled down my cheeks.
I had never seen my father so enraged. The curve of his lips turned into a sneer. Slowly, he pulled his hand away from her neck.
“Indeed, then there is only one way to ensure Myriah’s wellbeing,” he said as lifted a finger at me. “You must agree to marry me.”
Myriah shook her head at me, her eyes begging me to refuse. But I could not risk the chance in losing her. I needed her with me. I could not face my father alone. The dresses. I quickly began to search for words. I knew what I needed to do.
“Let me come to you, father, with a compromise.” I suggested softly, gathering my courage to continue. I walked towards the door, wanting nothing more than for him to leave. Jerking it open, I gestured for his departure. “I shall come to you before supper with my proposal.”
I gave him a small, courteous bow and left no room for further discussion. I hoped my promise would be enough. He shot a glare filled with poison towards Myriah.
“She speaks as though she were my Königin already,” he said, sounding strangely satisfied. He sauntered back towards me and the door. He lifted my chin with a strong finger and a smug smirk.<
br />
“My Königin.” The words were nearly a beast’s snarl as he spoke them.
I jerked my chin away. The swift rhythm of my heart reverberated in my ears as I prayed he would leave without another word. The moment the door closed behind him, I let out a soft sob and Myriah’s hands were immediately around me. She brushed my hair from my tear-stained face and stared into my eyes.
“You know what you need to do.”
With a dip of my chin, I agreed. I knew I would have to face my father again, and buy myself time to escape.
16
M y whole body shook as I stood in front of my father’s chambers. I could see my hand trembling as I lifted it towards the wooden door. The idea of him now frightened me more than the presence of any fairy tale monster could have. Even still, the idea of my unknown fate terrified me the most. I forced myself to knock and wait in silence. Lord Haven’s face greeted me as the door opened slightly.
“Princess . . .” he said with surprise in his voice.
He should not have been surprised, though. He must have known I would keep my word and come to the König. My father’s voice drifted over his shoulder, “Is that her? Is that Aurelia?”
Lord Haven gave a small nod towards the other side of the room, where I could imagine my father leaning over his desk; his fingers tangled in his hair. The door was ajar enough for me to slip past Lord Haven. I tucked my hands behind my back and took a breath as I hesitantly faced the king. I needed to remember the plan Myriah and I devised.
“I have come to speak to my father, the König, alone,” I said, keeping my gaze to the floor. I could hear the silence between the two men; the unspoken questions and commands. Perhaps Lord Haven already knew I intended to agree to my father’s wishes, and perhaps he felt as if he won. I could only hope my plan would work.
“Aurelia, the König has much to speak to you about.” Lord Haven’s voice was nervous— shaky even, and I nodded in reply.
“Yes, I know.”
“Leave us.” My father’s low growl caused an array of shudders to run down my spine.
The hairs on my arm rose as I watched Lord Haven leave the room. My eyes began to burn as I tried to keep my heart calm. My father took a step towards me as I eased back. He looked regal and different from the night before in his cloak, his hair matted against his forehead and his crown, the large weight of his responsibility on his shoulders.
He touched my arm gently, rising and falling up and down my skin. My mind and heart screamed from fear and rage. A trail of what felt like fire followed his finger as he grazed over my skin. I wanted to shove him away. I wanted to shrink away—to just disappear. My cheeks still burned from the roughness of his beard. Tears lingered on the brim as I let out a shaky sigh. Would I ever escape this—him? I knew I needed to stay strong, just as Myriah expressed.
“Aurelia,” he beckoned softly.
I took a step towards his desk and placed my hands on the oak wood, remembering him here, snapping his fingers at me as if I were his dog just the night before.
“Your Majesty,” I replied nervously, reluctantly turning to look at him.
I hoped the way I spoke would cause him to realize a change had occurred between us. I no longer wished to have any sort of relationship with him. He was no longer my father, and I, no longer his daughter.
“You’ve considered my proposal then, hmm?”
“I’ve come to make a deal with you,” I said curtly.
“And what is your arrangement?” There was a hint of amusement in his voice.
I bit my lip and looked down at my hands, trying to remember everything Myriah and I had devised.
“What is it you wish from me, Aurelia?” He asked again, his tone turning sharp.
“You told me this afternoon I am to be your bride.” I caught his gaze, keeping it as long as I could until he turned, brushing a hand through his hair.
“Yes,” he replied simply. “I’ve searched far and wide for a wife to meet the late Königin’s—”
“My mother,” I snapped. I would not allow him to forget that I was a part of his flesh and blood. I would not pretend to be just another one of the many women he’d used like before. No matter how much hatred or disdain I felt for him, nothing would ever change my blood connection to him. He stared at me with foreboding eyes. A tense moment passed between the two of us.
“The late Königin’s request,” he finished quietly as he rounded his desk.
As he took several steps towards me, his hand slithered very close to mine, reminding me of how I imagined the malicious serpent in the beloved biblical story of Ein Schöner Garten.
“You are so very beautiful Aurelia. I’ve watched you mature, and I never knew—never could predict how truly exquisite you would become. How clever, kind and obedient . . .”
My repulsed thoughts of him coiled tightly in my stomach, making it hard to breathe. I wanted to turn my face away from him, and stride out the door. I wished with all my soul never be forced to face him alone again. I could barely stand to stay a moment longer in his presence.
As he came closer, images of the night before flooded my mind over and over again; how easy it had been for him to press me against his bed, for him to tear my clothes away and take me in a way only a husband should have.
“It is very lonely without a partner to live a life with. The late Königin knew how to entertain our people and myself. She knew how to hold herself with poise and grace, and she knew how to tend to her husband diligently. I see much of her in you.”
My mind was spinning in circles. How could this be happening—and to me? I wished I could awaken in my room and find this all a horrible nightmare. But it seemed no matter how many times I tried to blink away the scene, there was no escaping his advances. His words were bondage, wrapping around my wrist just as his hands had done the night before.
I hardly thought I was anything like my mother in spirit. She and I were vastly different. Perhaps she had been graceful and delicate, but she had hardly a care for anyone but herself. My father could parade me around his festivals with beautiful dresses and saturate me with rich wines, but it would never transform me into my mother. I would never be her.
My father took another stride towards me and I backed away instinctively. His hand reached for mine and pulled me up against him.
“Have you forgotten your mother’s last wish? I promised her I would marry someone as beautiful as she. You’re the only one who has the same golden hair, the same smile, and the same beautiful eyes. You are the only one who will do, who I can love. The only one worthy of my love, my power, my body. You will be my bride,” he declared as he ran a finger through my hair.
My teeth clenched at his touch. The only thing keeping me in the room was the hope my agreement would ultimately save me from this fate. I could not live this life with him; I would rather die.
“If I am to marry you,” I began softly, letting out a deep breath. “I have four simple requests.”
My father grinned, appeased by my submission and nodded, “Go on. Anything.”
Perhaps he thought he was about to have everything he wanted. Perhaps in this moment, he was. I slowly uncurled my fingers and licked my bottom lip.
“For my marriage, I will require new gowns.”
“Gowns?” My father’s lips curled into a smug grin. “How quaint, mein liebe. You shall have as many gowns as you wish.”
“I request three intricate new gowns,” I continued as I tried to draw back from his hold. “The first, made and spun from the ray of sunbeams. The second, silver and made from the moonlight. The third, woven from the star dust that falls from the heavens.”
My father raised his brow but continued to listen.
“My last request,” I continued, “A fur coat made of a hundred different furs, so when the harsh winters come, I can keep sickness and death at bay.”
My hands trembled from trepidation. I couldn’t believe I found enough bravery to make these demands. What would the
people think once they heard of him going to these lengths to marry me? Would they think I was a harlot? Would they think I encouraged my father’s behavior?
“And this is all you request from me?” he asked surprised. Amusement gleamed on his face as I nodded once. I hadn’t imagined this would actually work. I hadn’t believed he would not see through the façade of my request and agree. Perhaps there was room for hope. And in that hope, a loss. If this was successful, I would never again be Princess Aurelia. I would lose all that I was for the majority of my life. I would lose my home, and more importantly—Myriah. The comprehension of knowing I would have to leave, filled me with an unbridled terror. What would become of me? Where would I go? If I was not to be Princess Aurelia, who was I to become?
“Consider it done then, mein liebe,” he said as a smile crept over his face.
My father embraced me as he pressed a kiss upon the corner of my lips. His finger carefully lifted my chin as I quickly took a step back again. My eyes darted to the ground and I twisted a part of my dress around my fingers. I knew I had a part to play, but I couldn’t ignore my instincts to protect myself. I could never allow what had happened to ever occur again. I could not bear to be touched by him again.
“I have much to plan,” I said quickly, fumbling and turning towards the door. I would allow his courtiers to imagine the beautiful wedding I’d arrange, while I truly concocted a plan to escape.
“Liebste. . .” My father’s voice caused me to stop just within footsteps from the doorway, my hand, only inches away from the doorknob.
“I shall have these gifts to you within a week. Mark my words, the day after I present them to you, we shall marry.”
There was no hint of question in his voice. I only gave him a silent nod as I avoided his eyes and opened the door. As I escaped out into the hallway, I released a prayer in my mind as I fought back the tears flooding my eyes.
Allerleirauh Page 8