“It’s a very fine gift,” he replied and glanced in the direction of Prince Klaus.
I lowered the goblet back to the table, placing it down harder than I would have normally and began to take eager bites of the selections on my plate. Clearing his throat, Lord Crestwood lifted a bit of bread to his mouth and tore off a piece.
“Your Highness, I received a bit of news from Foix de Lille today,” Lord Crestwood said as he dropped the piece of bread onto the table. “It seems the arrangement has been accepted by the König, and he’s interested in following through.”
“Oh?” Prince Klaus asked, darting his gaze from his friend to his plate. “And what part of the arrangement did he enjoy the most? The large sum of money he would acquire or the marriage contract?”
“I’m sure he was delighted by both,” Lord Crestwood answered with a small chuckle.
I lifted my gaze to the prince, surprised by this bout of news. So, he was to enter an arranged marriage also?
“I’m sure the König was pleased with the amount of bracteates, groschens, guldens and thälers I provided. Just as the marriage agreement was an added incentive. Who would not wish to marry their daughter off to someone who would also provide to her country?” Prince Klaus scoffed.
“You are not pleased with this?” I asked, as I peeked a glimpse at the both of them.
Lord Crestwood chuckled and shook his head.
“Quite honestly, the Prince is far from pleased. Before his father died, he’d arranged with the Königreich of Foix de Lille. The first agreement mostly consisted of farms and lands they wished to trade for a sum of money as payment. The second time, the König was beginning to weaken and age, leaving Klaus to handle a trade of weapons and artillery. In the latest exchange, the kingdom offered the hand of their princess for a sum of money and a winter’s worth of harvests. They also agreed to offer us more land. Where Saarland der Licht is weak, Foix de Lille is strong.”
“In your opinion,” Klaus replied curtly as he took a sip from his goblet. “I think we are a strong ally to have.”
“But, Lord Crestwood, you once traveled to Tränen for an alliance . . .” I said and lowered my hands to my lap. “If the treaty still stands, could you not negotiate lands or supplies from them instead? To avoid such an agreement for the prince?”
“That Königreich is gone, at least as far as I’m concerned,” Lord Crestwood said with a shrug. He paused and turned his attention to me as I quickly looked away.
“I don’t recall telling you about my business there . . .”
“I’m quite sure I heard you speak of it,” I replied quickly as I leaned back against my chair. I could feel Klaus’s gaze on me. I had spoken too eagerly, and without thought. I needed to heed with caution.
“I’d rather not speak of this during my meal,” Klaus interrupted and cleared his throat. “Let us change the subject.”
“Yes, let’s . . .” Lord Crestwood said and turned his attention to me. “Perhaps you could explain why you were running from Tränen. Why you’re always dressed in this cloak?”
I knew he would continue to press me for answer until I revealed a reason I could share. I heard the distant sound of Myriah’s voice commanding me to think of something quickly; anything to gain some peace from their prying and judgmental gazes. I remained still against the back of my chair as I darted my gaze between the two of them from underneath my hood.
“There’s truly nothing to tell you,” I replied softly. “I’m the daughter to a poor wood-carver. I was to be married to an older . . .cruel and irrational man, and I refused. I did everything in my power to avoid the match.” The words flowed from my tongue as easily as wine could be poured into my cup. “I disguised myself and ran away the first opportunity I found. I wish to prevent discovery and be returned to him.” The palms of my hands were sweaty as I admitted my truths, laced with sweet-sounding lies. Klaus remained silent as he listened. Lord Haven and my father’s faces flickered in my mind as my body began to tremble uncontrollably.
“So you’re running from an undesirable arranged marriage?” Lord Crestwood asked with a hint of amusement. His eyes brightened as he leaned back in his chair, positioning his hands behind head.
“We have a runaway bride hiding away from her marriage bed.”
“Don’t be cruel,” Klaus interjected, darting a glare in Lord Crestwood’s direction.
Crestwood lifted his goblet to his lips and smirked at the prince. There was a long pause between the three of us; my stomach twisted with nerves.
“So you hide under your cloak in hopes to remain unrecognizable?” Lord Crestwood
asked. I held my breath as I resisted to reply. He was only taunting me now.
I knew telling a lie more than once would only complicate my story later. It would be a lie I would have to retell over and over again until the truth unveiled my true identity.
“What did you dislike about your suitor? Was he not a handsome man? If he was older, I assume he presented your family with an allotted amount. Is it not the dream of any peasant to marry above their means?” Lord Crestwood’s brow rose in interest. A small puff of air escaped from past my lips as I managed to answer.
“He offered no kindness or love . . .”
I could feel my hands begin to shake as I saw the poor maid in my memory again. My father had not exhibited any kindness or love towards anyone in the castle.
“He was only callous and unwell.”
“You need not worry,” Prince Klaus said as he leaned forward in his chair. “You are safe in my palace and in my Königreich. You do not need to hide yourself in such a manner anymore. Here, you shall be a lady. You can forget about your life as a poor man’s daughter and the possible wife of such a man. Everyone here shall treat you with respect, I promise you.”
I saw the glimpse of sincerity in his eyes as I peered at him. My chin trembled as I searched for the right way to respond. I wanted to believe I could be safe here—that I could be shielded from their judging glances, if they were to discover my true identity. Perhaps they’d sympathize with me. Perhaps they wouldn’t turn me away when they understood the reasoning for what I did . . . why I ran away.
“I wish it were that easy,” I murmured, shaking my head.
Nothing would ever be easy for me again. I would never be the same girl I once was.
“It won’t be,” Prince Klaus replied with a soft smile. “But I am a friend.” He glanced to Lord Crestwood as his smile broadened. “The both of us can promise that under our care and protection, we will do what we can to keep you safe and comfortable.”
But I didn’t believe Prince Klaus’s words regarding Lord Crestwood. He’d been hard and distant around me; nothing about him felt caring or protective. He didn’t trust or understand my presence in the palace, nor could I blame him. He held no resemblance to the man I once met in the ballroom back in Tränen.
“I recommend finding strength in those around you,” Lord Crestwood murmured, not looking to me. His words filled me with surprise. I hadn’t expected to hear such a thing coming from Lord Crestwood; certainly not to me. I didn’t know how to respond to his thoughts. Was he offering an unspoken understanding of friendship?
“Trust in the prince. If there is nothing else you can find comforting in this place, know that when the prince speaks, he means what he says,” he continued. Perhaps there was a sliver of hope. Perhaps the man I knew for such a short time, did have the integrity he once displayed. I relaxed my grasp of my furs in my hand just as Prince Klaus began to chuckle.
“Lord Crestwood is very protective of me and the Königreich. Since my father’s death just a few months ago, he’s been by my side as a brother. As you can see, he does have a heart.”
I sensed the deep connection between Lord Crestwood and Klaus and became curious from it. I knew the prince meant much more to Crestwood than just mere royalty.
“I truly wish for you to be happy here, Allerleirauh,” Klaus continued. “I wish for you
to find peace here, if you can.”
I nodded before turning my gaze back down to my plate. His kindness was overwhelming, and yet, since the first moment of our meeting, he had displayed nothing but consideration.
“Perhaps we could take a turn around the gardens after dinner,” Lord Crestwood murmured; his tone was softer, but still unnerving. With Prince Klaus watching, I dared not to deny him. With another gentle nod, I murmured from beneath my hood, “If you wish.”
“That’s a good start,” Klaus said with a smile as he lifted another bite of his meal to his mouth.
28
I followed Lord Crestwood through a side door of the castle, which led into the separate square of the garden. A line of torches burned brightly, illuminating the gravel walkway and the green shrubbery. The sounds of our shoes against the gravel echoed all around us. I tried to keep an arm’s length of distance from him as we walked along together; I tightened my grasp on the cloak, being sure it concealed my face from his sight.
“I wished to walk with you tonight, to speak with you,” Lord Crestwood explained, breaking the tense silence between us. I peeked past the edge of the wolf’s hood, daring only to gaze at him for a moment.
“You’re quite a strange creature,” he continued.
“Adelais says so too,” I replied curtly as I let out a small sigh. As we walked, I noticed just how large the gardens were; the path ahead of us seemed to continue on and on, disappearing into the darkness. Lord Crestwood chuckled beside me.
“Yes, I suppose she would say that,” he laughed. “The old bird always speaks her mind.”
“She cares about the prince,” I added.
“We all care about the prince. Just as we call care about what happens to the Königreich. This is our home.”
“It’s a marvelous home,” I said, doing my best to keep my answers short. I didn’t understand what Lord Crestwood wanted from me; why he wished to speak with me alone.
My stomach twisted into knots as I heard him murmur, “I’m trying to figure out who you are, and what you’re hoping to gain by staying in the castle.”
I bit my bottom lip and tried to calm my racing heartbeat.
“Nothing,” I managed shakily.
He continued, “Then what are your reasons are for staying? If you’re running from someone, why haven’t you run off to your next destination?” Lord Crestwood paused in his step as he tried to look at me.
“I want nothing,” I replied again, jerking my chin away.
“Who are you. . . truly?” He tried; I could hear his voice rising in tone.
“I am Allerleirauh,” I said as my hands clenched into fists by my side. “I am who I say I am.”
“My intuition says otherwise. You refuse to look at me or anyone when we speak to you. You hide away underneath your hood and your cloak despite being given new gowns. You claim to be a poor man’s daughter, yet the way you speak. . . the way you act. . . I apologize milady, but there is something quite false about you.”
“Those are all wise observations, sir,” I replied, doing my best to keep my voice from shaking. “But I can assure you there is nothing false about me.” Liar. Liar.
“You won’t be able to fool the prince for very long-”
“I don’t wish to fool the prince, no matter what you choose to believe.” At least that was true. I didn’t want to lie, but my circumstances left me no choice.
“Tell me who you really are,” Lord Crestwood said between gritted teeth.
I felt cornered by his insistence; there was no where I could go to get away from him. I could run out into the darkened garden, and disappear into the forest forever. But where would that leave me with all of my belongings left behind? Eventually, I would have to come back to retrieve my things. I knew he’d wait for me; there would be no getting past his determination to gain his answers.
“I cannot,” I sighed and shook my head as I turned on my heel. I would go back to the palace. Lord Crestwood grabbed my elbow suddenly as I cried out.
“Let go of me!” The words were loud as Lord Crestwood grabbed at my cloak and hood. I could feel my father’s hands on me through the fur, holding me down, stroking his fingers along my skin. I could feel my stomach churn as I tried to get away. I needed to get away from him before—
“Let me see you,” he gasped as I struggled in his arms. “Damn you, fräulein.” He tugged at the wolf’s head and pulled it down around my shoulders, revealing my golden hair. I stared at him with wide eyes as he gazed over me, shocked.
“P-Princess . . .?”
Lord Crestwood released me and instantly knelt to the ground. He lowered his head in an apologetic bow. I could see his shoulders tremble as he stared down at the gravel before him.
“I didn’t know . . . I didn’t . . .”
I felt a wave of panic rush over me as I knelt down, grabbing at his arm and shoulder. No one could see this. No one could know.
“Please, Lord Crestwood,” I gasped softly. “Please get up!”
“I don’t understand,” he said as he lifted his chin and studied my face. “You escaped? The König—”
“You cannot tell anyone I am the Princess of Tränen, do you understand?” I begged urgently. “No one can know who I am. No one can know the truth. If anyone—”
“The König . . .”
Lord Crestwood lifted his hand to touch me, concern written in the creases of his eyes. I pulled away before his fingertips made contact.
“The last time I saw you . . .”
“Much has happened since that time, Lord Crestwood,” I murmured softly, trying to carefully choose my words. “My choices have not been easy.”
“So you ran,” he murmured as he eased back up to his feet. I gazed at him, his face covered almost entirely in shadow.
“I did what I had to do,” I replied. I knew what my father had done gave no justification for my actions. I ran away and murdered innocent people with my carelessness that night.
“You don’t have to hide here, milady,” he said soothingly. “You don’t have to hide away underneath your cloak of furs. The prince will do as he says. He will do all that he can do to protect you.”
I stared at him, as tears glistened in my eyes.
“There is nothing he can do to protect me.” It was too late for that.
“No one would blame you, princess. No one would . . .” his voice trailed into silence. I eased the wolf’s hood over my hair again, tucking myself away in the warmth of my cloak once again.
“I’m not the girl you met at the ball, nor am I the Princess of Tränen. That time is over. That girl is lost.”
I didn’t wait to hear his response. Instead, I turned on my heel and began walking back towards the palace. Lord Crestwood grabbed my elbow gently, causing me to pause. I turned as a tear rolled down my cheek. I was so afraid of what this discovery would mean. Would he tell the prince? Would he betray me? His eyes softened as I glanced at him from underneath my hood.
“That girl is not lost,” he replied tenderly as he pushed the hood away again. “That girl is here. She is strong. She might be scared and rightfully so. Much has happened, but she needs to know she has a friend. She has a friend she can trust.”
“You w-won’t tell?” I could hear my voice waver with fear. “Not even the prince?”
“Shouldn’t the prince know to whom he is tending to?” He looked concerned as I quickly shook my head.
“He cannot know. No one can know. If anyone were to find out—” I lifted a hand to my forehead as I tried to calm my racing heart. “If anyone were to find out the truth of what—”
“If it means so much to you,” he murmured softly. “I swear to you, Princess Aurelia . . . I will not betray your trust.”
A wash of relief filled me as another tear rolled down my cheek. I could only manage a small nod in reply. He offered me a small handkerchief from his pocket.
“Come, you should rest.” Lord Crestwood offered his hand, but I merely gazed at it. W
ith a sigh of defeat, he began to walk ahead and gestured with the tilt of his head for me to follow. Easing the hood back in place again, I followed him into the warmth of the palace.
He escorted me down the long corridor back to my room, keeping silent with each step. I only gave him a nod of thanks once he came to pause at my door. I quickly pushed myself inside without another word, and slipped into the adjoining blue room. My hands trembled as I locked the door, wishing nothing more than to hide myself away. I wanted to keep myself away from the truth; away from the shattered girl who was once subjected to her father’s desires . . . I wanted to distance myself from everything. The shattered princess who lived underneath the furs was too broken to belong to the world.
29
The next morning, I was awoken by the sound of jingling keys and rushing water. As I eased myself from the window seat, I discovered a few servants dumping buckets of hot water into the large basin on the floor. Adelais stood by the door, watching with a small smile.
“Come on then, keep up,” she beckoned as servants, one by one, came and went with their buckets until the water was nearly at the brim of the tub.
“Go on,” she said to me, pointing at the water. “Bath then breakfast. The prince and lordship are requesting you to join them.”
I groaned and shook my head, turning back into the warmth of the furs. I had no desire to show my face to either one of them. I could only imagine the glances Lord Crestwood would give me across the table this morning.
“Do not ignore me, girl,” Adelais said as she moved across the room. Her hands came to rest on her waist as she glared down at me.
“I feel ill,” I murmured. “I don’t wish to eat. I don’t wish to see the prince or Lord Crestwood.”
“A bath will do you some good then. God only knows what sort of insects live among those skins,” she gestured to the coat. “Better to let me have it and clean it . . .”
Allerleirauh Page 15