by Sky Winters
There, sitting in the breakfast nook, was Zak. He was neat and clean, not a scratch on him, and had a new catalogue that had come in the mail on the table. He flipped through the pages slowly as if he were genuinely considering a new comforter or dust ruffle. A small noise came out of Joy’s throat and he looked up.
“Joy!” Zak ran over to help her to a chair, guiding her slowly. She eased into a seat and panted for breath. She couldn’t remember what all she had drank last night, but she silently vowed to never take so many liberties with alcohol again. Ever.
She propped her head up on her hand and smiled at Zak as he sat across from her. “You’re back.”
“Yeah. I couldn’t leave you alone.” They held hands across the table as the blender whirred for a few minutes. She had no idea what awful concoction her father was making for her, but Joy told herself to drink it down, no matter the taste. She had to get this hangover out of her system.
The blender stopped and Zak sent a soundless little kiss across the table to Joy. She made a kissy face back to him and the two of them laughed. She wanted to lean across the table and kiss him for real, but she wasn’t sure how it would affect her father. Would he even remember who the two of them were?
“Alright, my darling daughter who likes to drink,” Steve said in a sing-song voice, “this is just for you. Drink it all in one go; don’t sip.” He set down a tall, grey mixture flecked with red dots. Her stomach turned just at the sight of it. What on earth was this? Her dad stood waiting. “It’s this or be sick the rest of the day. Your choice.”
She took a deep breath, let it all out, then raised the glass to her lips. The thick, heavy grey liquid slid down her throat slowly. The feel of it brought to mind the way garbage slid down a chute or snot came out of a nose. She wretched a little as she drank it, but she didn’t stop until she got to the bottom.
“Oh my god, Dad!” Joy shoved the glass away from her and gasped for breath. “What the hell was that?”
“Hey, language. I’m not a fan of this new hard-living, biker chick persona you’re cultivating. I miss my sweet girl.” He picked up the glass and washed it. “Besides, it’s just eggs, tomato juice, tabasco, protein powder, and green tea. You’re fine.”
The list of ingredients and the feel of her father’s disgusting cocktail in her stomach was more than she could bear. Joy jumped up and ran to the bathroom, barely upright and bouncing off of the walls the whole way, then flung herself in front of the toilet to puke.
Back in the kitchen, Steve dried the clean glass and put it in the cupboard. He raised an eyebrow at Zak. “It’s my grandma’s recipe. Works every time.”
The rest of the day was a bizarre one for Joy as her father joined her and her boyfriend for a day at home. While they usually spent their time running off to, well, anywhere, that day they all stayed close to each other. Joy marveled at her father’s sharp mentality; he didn’t call her Brenda once. When Zak stepped away to use the bathroom, she moved closer to her dad.
“Dad, how are you feeling today?”
“Hm? Me? Oh fine, dear. Just fine. You know that nice boy Zak gave me some vitamins that really got me going today. I can’t remember the last time I felt this good.”
“Vitamins? What kind of vitamins?” She looked around the living room but didn’t see any new medications. Her dad was busy flipping through TV channels looking for his courtroom drama and couldn’t be bothered.
“I forget the name. I’ll have to ask; they’re great stuff. Oh, here’s Judge Hunter.” He settled into his chair, not intending to move for the next hour at least. Joy stood up and moved into the kitchen where she opened all the cupboards and checked every inch of counter space for any sign of any kind of vitamin. There was nothing. What had Zak done to help her dad?
“Hey beautiful.” Hands smoothed down the front of her dress and Zak’s head peeked over her shoulder. “What are you looking for?”
“The vitamins you gave my dad. Where are they?”
“They’re around here somewhere.” He kissed her neck and for a moment she gave into the familiar feel of his full lips and hungry touch, but snapped out of it just as quickly.
“Hey, I’m serious.” She turned around stepped back from him, out of kissing range.
“You think I’m not?” He moved in for another round and she stopped him with a finger to his chest.
“Stop it. I need to know what kind they are. I’ve never seen him with it. He’s usually confused most of the day. If you’ve found some miracle herbal supplement, I want to know what it is.”
“It’s my dad’s old recipe. He swore by it. Now come on, just give me one kiss before we go sit with your dad again…”
“One more thing.” Zak sighed and fell against her like a rag doll. “Come on,” she said, picking him up by his armpits. “I need to know.”
“Yes, of course. Whatever you want. Shoot.”
She smoothed his hair back out of his face. It was nice seeing him so combed and put together. She was used to the untamed, rumpled version of Zak she saw outdoors. She flashed back to the day he disappeared and all she saw was a bear standing on her ex-husband and tears came to her eyes.
“I just need to know,” she said, the tears falling onto her dress, “where did you go? When the bear came, where did you run to?”
“Hey.” Zak pulled her into a hug and smoothed her hair. “Why the tears, huh? I’m okay. I made it back. Don’t cry.”
She took a big, shuddering breath and closed her eyes. She breathed in the smell of Zak’s skin and told herself he was right, the important thing was that he was alive and here with her. “I know. I was just so scared I’d never see you again.”
“Never? Come on. That’s such a long time.” He kissed her head and squeezed her tight. “If you must know, I holed up in a little abandoned house for a day and a night, then I had to go and fish for something to eat or else I would have starved. As soon as I was strong enough, I headed back to town.”
She pulled back and looked at him in his gelled hair and church-appropriate clothes. Joy put her hand on Zak’s cheek and leaned in for a kiss, a real kiss, on his soft, welcoming lips. He tasted like wine late at night, like water from the creek, like a warm lover who had already waited for her a long time.
“I love you, Zak,” she whispered.
He pulled her in a little tighter. “I love you more.”
Chapter 8
The next few days were quiet, but a week after Zak had returned Joy was feeling particularly odd. “Oh no,” she thought, “I’m sick again.” She could feel that her stomach was extremely bloated and her breasts were so tender it hurt just to shift a bit under her blanket. What was going on?
She threw back the covers and flung her arm over her eyes. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so tired, and after going to bed early, too. She thought of what she wanted for breakfast, but as soon as she thought of actual, solid food she felt a rush of acid coming up from her stomach. Jumping up from the bed, she ran to the bathroom and stuck her head in the toilet just in time. She retched and heaved for a few minutes, not throwing up a lot but enough that it dripped out her nose and made her stomach jump up and down a bit.
“No more drinking for me. My system just can’t handle it.” Joy flushed her sick away and leaned her head on the toilet, grateful for it’s cool, smooth surface against her cheek. She took a deep breath. She’d have to go and make her dad some breakfast; he needed a cup of coffee less than five minutes after waking up. Shakily, she stood and turned to face her reflection in the mirror.
There, in the reflection, was a big pregnant belly hanging off Joy’s reflected frame. Her heart stopped. She couldn’t be pregnant, could she? She’d had her period at least two months ago. When she’d skipped one, she had just shrugged it off as stress. It was right around Zak’s disappearance, after all. This belly was big enough for a fully-formed baby, not a newly-made fetus.
Joy’s hand smoothed down the front of her body, feeling the tig
ht stretch of skin over her abdomen and the lump underneath. What was going on?
Quickly, she dressed in a big, baggy sweater and loose jeans. Even the big, unbelted waistband was tight around her new frame and the middle of her top stretched over her belly. Would Dad notice?
She went out into the kitchen quickly and got the coffee machine started. She threw some bread in the toaster and set out the eggs. Still rushing, she penned a quick note.
Woke up ill. Ran off to see the doc. Be home soon. Joy. She put it on a plate where her dad would be sure to find it, grabbed her purse, and ran out the door.
Even though it had been about a week since she’d seen the gang, she had a feeling she knew where they were. Anytime they wanted to be outside of town, they liked to hang out at a little campground not far from where they had their late-night bonfires. Joy headed that direction; she wanted an explanation from Zak and she wanted it right that moment.
She pulled up to the campsite and saw that yes, she’d guessed correctly; the whole gang was there and sleeping soundly. Their feet were sticking out of randomly arranged tents and there were remnants of their latest party all over the place. Joy walked out into the grass, kicking aside empty beer cans and flattened chip bags until she reached the biggest tent. Zak’s bike was parked outside.
He was there, snoring blissfully away as if nothing in the world could affect him. She reached down and shook him rudely awake.
“Morning, Zak.”
“Huh? Wha—hey, Joy.” He smiled sleepily at the surprise, not fully awake. His hands reached up for her to pull her down into the sleeping bag with him but she yanked herself back. “Come on, sweetie, come lie down…” She could see him drifting off into a dream again and clapped her hands close to his face.
“Zak! You have to wake up right now.”
He snorted and shook his head in a big no from side to side. Joy shook him again. “Zak, come on! This is important!”
Finally, he blinked his eyes open and, through his blurred vision, looked at Joy as she slowly took shape in front of him. She looked weird; something about her was bigger. She had on big clothes and her face was panicked and pale. He rubbed the last of the grogginess from his eyes and looked at her again. This time, he put his hands on her belly.
“You’re pregnant.”
“Yeah, no kidding. You want to explain how I entered my third trimester in just a few months?” She started breathing quickly and pacing back and forth in the tent. “I mean, how is this even possible? I know it’s yours; it has to be, but, but, we’ve been dating for like, two months. Two months! And look at me!”
She lifted her shirt to show him her big belly and he took it in, smiling just a little. “What are you so happy about,” she demanded and his smile instantly disappeared.
“Joy,” he said, reaching out for her hands, “come here.” She sat down facing him and let him take both of her hands. He massaged her fingers and she breathed a little easier. He hung his head for a moment, then looked at her with a serious expression.
“There’s something I should have told you a long time ago,” he began. “Do you remember my father; how odd he was? He actually got kicked out of the three restaurants in town because he ate so much. And he had to be outdoors all the time, do you remember?”
Joy thought back. Zak’s father had been just like him: restless, an outdoorsman, a heavy drinker, and huge eater despite his medium build. There had always been something different about him, something in his eyes that set him apart from everyone else. She couldn’t quite recall the last time she’d seen him, either. Like Zak, he had just up and left one day.
“He was an outsider, your dad. Kind of like you.”
“An outsider,” Zak said, letting out a big breath, “yeah. That’s one way of describing him. You see Joy, the men in my family, they’re different. My dad, me, my uncles and grandfather; we’re not entirely human.”
“What?” Joy felt a strange, cold sensation creeping along her skin. “What are you, then?”
“Maybe,” Zak said, setting her hands down in her lap and standing up, “maybe it would be better if I just showed you.”
Zak stood above her and closed his eyes. Slowly, he began to work his jaw back and forth. His face seemed to extend while his nose shrank and his ears lifted to the top of his head. His shoulders became big and rounded and his hands changed to heavy circles with long claws. Joy didn’t move, she couldn’t have if she’d wanted to. She watched Zak sprout thick brown hair all over his body. His legs became heavy and his hips spread to a wide, round shape, making him stand on all fours.
Still sitting on the sleeping bag, Joy found herself face to face with the same, large brown bear that she had seen attack Aris. The bear breathed it’s heavy hot breath onto her with loud, labored breathing. The two of them watched each other, not moving.
Trembling, Joy reached up and touched the bear’s face as gently as she could. His eyes became soft and the bear’s massive head leaned into her touch, enjoying the feel of her hand. She barely breathed as she focused on her reflection in his big, glassy eyes. “Zak? Are you in there?”
The bear stared at her, then gave her a small, almost imperceptible nod. The air in her lungs came rushing out and tears came to her eyes. “Am I pregnant with someone like you? Is that why it happened so fast?” Again, he gave a small nod. With tears sliding down her face, she tilted her head forward to touch her forehead to his. They stayed like that for a moment, bear and human together, then Joy looked up.
“Can you turn back? I need to be able to talk to you.” The bear lay down and covered his head in his massive paws. She moved back, uncertain how another transformation was going to go. Starting with his feet, his hair began to retract and his shape slowly returned to that of a human male, but it took a long time. When his transformation had finally completed, the sun was high and other members of the gang were up and wandering around, grumbling about the lack of food.
When the last trace of bear was gone, Zak looked up at her. He was naked and lying on his stomach and his face was white with exhaustion. She lay next to him and kissed his cheek. “Shh. Don’t move. Get your strength back. I’ll tell the gang you need the morning off, okay?”
He shook his head no. “They. Need. Me.”
Joy got Zak dressed and then helped him up. He was horribly weak and could barely stand, but he insisted on leaving the tent. So Joy, pregnant and in shock, walked with her arm around Zak, her faint boyfriend who was not entirely human. They stepped out into the sunlight and found the gang waiting in a loose collection outside the tent. They didn’t look surprised or confused at the sight of their leader looking so rough. They just gave a little nod to Joy and glanced down at her big belly.
Carefully, Zak sat on a big rock and took in the group. Petunia brought him a bottle of orange juice and he gulped it down.
“Thanks.” He wiped his mouth and looked around. “As you can all see, Joy is pregnant. This means she’s going to need our protection until her babies are born. I want a security detail around her twenty-four seven. These babies are definitely part of the brown bear line. That means they’ll be very powerful,” he looked to Joy, “and very important. We can’t let anything happen to them.”
The group nodded, still unsurprised. Joy looked over at Petunia who gave her a big grin.
“Congratulations, mama bear. You’re definitely having at least two.”
Joy touched her stomach and felt a shift under her skin. She thought of two little forms inside her tumbling over one another, somersaulting around like bear cubs. Her shock set in as she realized that was essentially what she would be having: two baby bears.
“I want five of you out getting some food. I transitioned this morning but I didn’t get a chance to recover so I need some extra. Get back as soon as you can. Joy, you’ll have to stay here until we can organize protection for you.”
Five bikers roared off and the rest came up to hug Joy and tell her congratulations. She accepted it all gra
ciously, but out of the corner of her eye she kept tabs on Zak. He looked extremely weak, like he might fall off of his perch at any moment. After a little bit of small talk, she joined him again and put her arm around him.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “I usually transition slowly. That’s why I went off into the woods, so I could stay in bear form for a couple of days and then take a few hours to go back to human. I’ll be okay.”
Joy gave him a kiss on the cheek and wrapped her arms around him. “You’ve worked really hard to hide this from me, haven’t you?”
He leaned his head into her. “I had to. I wanted you to be safe. This isn’t an easy life, Joy.”
She lifted up out of their hug and looked at him. “Why are you in so much danger?”
Zak looked up to see Petunia standing with fast food bags and a cup of coffee. She handed it all to the lovebirds. Zak took it gratefully and started ripping into the paper. “Petunia,” he said to her, “tell Joy what happened to you when that hunter saw you transition.”
Petunia sucked the air in through her teeth. “Oh, that’s a rough story. Let me get a cigarette.” She slipped a smoke out of her carton and then cupped her hands over it to get the flame. After she’d taken a long drag, she dove in.
“I was in the woods. We’d all transitioned together a few days before and everyone was going back to human one by one, but I was taking my time. I always love my time in the woods; I fish, I sleep, I walk forever. It’s the best. But, I knew I was lagging behind and I needed to move on. So, I found a little clearing and lay down. To shift back to human, we have to go inside ourselves and really focus. I’m on the ground, I’ve got my head covered, I’m about halfway through the change and then I felt something on my neck.