Each set of spikes were a different length so that you could use the set that best served your particular needs. I made the mistake of starting with the largest set first. Perhaps it was just my sadistic nature, I don't really know, but the results were disastrous. My poor husband was left in excruciating pain the moment his penis warmed up (I had iced it down) and began to fill the cage. It took me about ten minutes to get the device off so that I could change the size of the spikes.
After replacing the spikes with the smallest set (the right size as it turned out) everything worked as it was supposed to. Under normal circumstances, he could wear the device all day without a problem, but the minute he began to get aroused, those little spikes began to dig into the flesh of his penis causing him enough pain to want to stop any kind of sexual stimulation immediately. That meant that he wasn't going to be spending any of his valuable time surfing the Internet for pornography. It also meant that it was easy for me to cause him mild to severe pain simply by slipping my hand down the back of his pants to fondle his buttocks. The pain level was directly proportional to the amount of time I played with his bottom.
While that seemed to be the perfect method of teasing him without allowing him a full erection, he soon found out that he was having more erotic dreams than he thought. Every night he would be awakened by a pain in his partially erect penis from some dream he was having. If not for the fact that he has trouble getting back to sleep, and he needs his rest so that he can be alert for his day job, it would have been perfect. I was forced to remove the spikes simply to allow him to get the rest he needed. But it was fun while it lasted.
We have since moved on to a custom made metal device that allows me access to his member through the “bars” and it only causes him pain when his penis tries to become fully erect. So during our tease sessions, I have the choice of removing it or teasing him while it is secured in place. It all depends on how much I tease him, and in what ways, as to how much pain or pleasure he actually receives. Now, on to more things you can do with a chastity device in place.
If you decide to sexually tease your partner while he is wearing his chastity device, I recommend one that allows you access to the sides and tip of his penis. You can stimulate him with your fingers, fingernails, a Q-Tip, a toothpick, or any other small device of your choosing. I like to take a toothpick and poke his penis and balls. I vary the pressure with each little jab to keep him on his toes, so to speak. You can use a cotton tipped swab (Q-Tip) to tickle him as well. Your fingernails dragging along the side of his penis will also get his attention. And don't forget about the erotic power of your own body. Your breasts, your ass, and even your vagina can be used to turn him on. The more you do to arouse him, the harder his penis will try to force its way to full erection. Depending on the fit of his cage, this can cause him mild to severe pain. Some men are even aroused by this pain, so you may want to do a little experimentation.
Most men who enjoy wearing a chastity device also enjoy being reminded that it's there. That is, every time they get the slightest bit aroused, things get a little uncomfortable. Not necessarily painful, but enough to make them aware of their growing condition. So any time you can find a way to arouse him, even just a little bit, it would be good for both of you to take advantage of it. He will probably enjoy the feelings and, if you are the one causing those feelings, he will be reminded that you are in control. Something of which he will always enjoy being reminded.
There are numerous games you can play involving chastity that will make things more interesting for the both of you. For example, you might have your chaste partner roll a pair of dice to determine such things as when he might get an opportunity for release, both from his little prison and sexually. Let's take a look at some of those games, shall we?
If you enjoy tormenting your partner (sexually, that is) and you want to have some fun with him while he is in chastity, try having him roll a single die (or a pair if you prefer) with various outcomes depending on the number he rolls. Suppose you make the roll of a single die determine whether or not he gets to ejaculate that day. Maybe a roll of “1” on the die says he can if he can masturbate to orgasm in one minute. A roll of “6” means that he has six minutes to make the attempt. Of course, with some men, one minute would be more than enough time. If he seems to be getting too many ejaculations, change the rules. Maybe he only gets to make the attempt if he rolls a “1” or a “2” and any other roll gets him something entirely different.
As the female in your new FLR, the choice of how the game is played, and what the consequences of any particular roll of the die (or dice) is up to you. Be creative. You can use anything that your agreement allows. Maybe he gets a swat on the bottom for each number on the die if he doesn't roll a “1.” Or maybe, each roll that is not a winning number (say “6”) means he has to wait that many days before he gets to roll the die again.
My point is, playing with the time he spends in chastity is a very good way to make it more fun for the both of you. You can play dice games, card games, have him pull a marble out of a bag, or even play your favorite board game. Just make certain that there is a way for him to win (no matter how slim the chance) and that he understands the consequences of losing. The more fun you make it, the more interesting and fun you will find his torment to be. Remember, it will be fun for him even if he loses most of the time. (See Chapter 19 for more on games.)
Make his chastity fun for the both of you.
~ ~ ~
Chapter 11: Rewards
In any Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship (which this is, remember?), there are two things necessary to maintain control and keep things running smoothly...Rewards and punishments.
In this case, since, as we discussed earlier, men and women are not created equally, the rewards can be sexual in nature. Men respond very well to sexual rewards. Women have often used sex (or the lack of it) as a punishment. I will show you how to use it as a reward and to use it more effectively in order to maintain better control of your partner.
Rewards are very important in any relationship where one partner is in authority over the other, such as a Shipboard or Dictatorship style relationship. Without proper rewards, morale decreases, and unrest sets in, followed by revolution, or mutiny (as the case may be). To prevent that, keep the troops happy. The best way to do that is to reward them for good behavior, frequently. In other words, you, as the dominant partner, are going to have to find ways of rewarding your subordinate (partner) often. Sexual gratification is the best reward you can give a man. He wants it. If he doesn't get it from his partner, he may find other ways of getting it. He may turn to pornography, masturbation, or even another woman.
So what are the ways in which a man can be rewarded? Well, as odd as it may seem, tease and denial is the best way to keep him happy. By teasing him often, and in various ways, then denying him sexual release, he will become the best partner you could ever hope for. It won't be easy, at least, not at first. Eventually, with practice, you will become very good at keeping him sexually aroused and very compliant.
Believe it or not, one of the best ways of keeping him happy and compliant is not to allow him to ejaculate. At least not very often. If you haven't considered a chastity device, this would be a good time to do so. Denying your partner the opportunity to ejaculate any time he feels like it can be very advantageous.
Men are different from woman in that they go through some physiological changes when they ejaculate in the normal manner. That is, they become less interested in sex and more interested in other types of gratification, like...Football? After sex is the worst time to try to get him to do anything you want him to. You can test this simply by asking him to take you to the mall the morning after you have given him really great sex. Chances are, he will either flatly refuse, or he will do it begrudgingly. If you first establish a routine of keeping him aroused as much of the time as possible while denying him the release he wants, and he will jump at the chance to accompany you to the mall.
So, all you have to do is find ways of keeping your partner aroused and he will be like putty in your hands. This is the most work you will have to do in this relationship. It won't be easy, but if you apply yourself and work at it, it will become second nature to you. Then you can spend your time finding more things for him to do for you.
Below is a list of the kinds of things you will need to do to keep him aroused. You don't have to do all these things every day, but you DO have to keep him aroused, So vary your routine to keep it fresh and exciting, and you will have no trouble at all.
Basic Teasing:
Whisper sexually stimulating things in his ear.
Tell him that you can't wait to put your hands all over his naked body.
Tell him he turns you on and you want him to give you oral sex until you can't stand it any more.
Tell him you read a sexy story online and you can't wait to tell him about it later.
Put your hand down the back of his trousers and squeeze his bottom a couple times.
Rub your hand over his crotch and gently squeeze his balls while telling him you can't wait to get him in bed again.
Put your hand under his shirt and gently rub his nipples for a moment.
Stuff a note in his pocket and tell him not to read it until he gets to work. In the note, say something you know will turn him on.
Kiss him on and behind his ear and whisper something sexy while he is watching television.
Ask him to rub lotion or powder on your body after you take a shower.
Do anything that will let him know that you are interested in having sex with him, but do it at a time when he knows he will have to wait for it.
Call him on the phone and say erotic things to him. Do it while he is at work, lunch, or standing in line at the bank.
Pack a note in his briefcase or lunchbox that he will discover later in the day.
When you pass him in the kitchen, firmly smack his bottom once with your hand.
When you are out together:
Take him to a lingerie store or the lingerie section of your favorite store. Show him some sexy items and ask if he would like to see you in them.
At a restaurant, sit opposite him and rub his leg with your foot. If you are wearing stockings, so much the better.
Talk about some sexual thing you would like to do to him (or have him do to you) the next time you have sex. He will love it.
Put your hand in his crotch while he is driving, but don't say anything or look at him. Keep looking out the window. If he says anything about it, stop and say your sorry for distracting him. Then wait a few minutes and do it again.
At a theater, keep your hand in his crotch during most of the movie. If he says anything, stop for awhile, then do it again.
Never let an opportunity to arouse him pass without taking advantage of it.
For the more adventurous:
Send him to the store for something but make him insert a small butt-plug before he goes. You can accompany him to witness his discomfort if you like.
When you reach into his pants to fondle his bottom, smear a little Icy-Hot (or other mentholated cream on his anus. Then send him to the store.
Call him into the bedroom or bathroom and let him fondle your breasts and bottom for a few minutes, then leave him wanting more.
Whisper in his ear how you want to tie him to a chair and tease his genitals until he is ready to squirt...Over and over and over again.
Call him into the bathroom right before you sit down to watch a movie and smear a little mentholated cream on his genitals. Tell him not to wash it off without your permission.
There are a million other things you can do. Just use your imagination and come up with a few of your own.
Bedtime Teasing:
Before we get too deeply into this area, I want to tell you that you are not going to allow him to ejaculate unless you feel he has earned it. He can only earn it through good behavior. But in any case, he should not be allowed to ejaculate too often. Once a month or so is about right for most men. For a few days (maybe a week) after he ejaculates you might notice a reduction in his overall behavior. He may not do all the chores you want him to do, or he may get a little grumpy. This is normal. Most men (and this is a hormonal thing) will not be as attentive or responsive to your demands in the days following his ejaculation. That is why I say he should not be allowed him to ejaculate too often. You may have to start slow. Let him ejaculate every few days at first. Then, as he adjusts to the denial, make him wait longer and longer between ejaculations.
If you are just starting out with FLR, this is where your control over him really begins...In the bedroom. Your objective is to get him to appreciate the sexual stimulation that you will be giving him on a regular basis, in exchange for his patience in being denied the relief he is used to getting. In other words, you are going to be giving him much more sexual attention, especially at bedtime, than he is used to, but the price he must pay for that attention is obedience and the delay of his ejaculations. We will talk about ruined and stifled orgasms later. For now, just be careful not to allow him any orgasms at all.
This is where you will do your most serious tease and denial. If you are just a little kinky, you can tie him to the bed before you begin. A blindfold will also enhance the experience for him. The following are only suggestions and what you choose to do should relate to what he enjoys the most and what you want him to do for you. Remember, this is where you are going to take control.
If you are in the mood, you can have him pleasure you in any way you want as long as he is not permitted to ejaculate. Have him please you orally or with a vibrator or his fingers (if he isn't bound). If he is the kind that can last a long time inside you without ejaculating, then you can do that, too. Just remember not to allow him to ejaculate! Now, try any of the following ways of teasing him until you think he has had enough...
Use your finger to very lightly touch his genitals. Let them slide up from his balls to the tip of his penis again and again. Use a feather or a very soft brush for this, if you like. Use anything that will stimulate his sexual desire, but not push him over the edge.
Try lubricating his penis with a good, long-lasting lubrication. Baby oil works, as does just about any oil you can find. Let his penis rest in your hand and stroke it as softly as you can. It should drive him crazy, but not bring him to orgasm.
Take a toothpick or wooden kabob skewer and lightly poke his balls, penis, inner thighs, nipples, or anywhere he seems to enjoy it. Vary the pressure randomly and see if he enjoys it harder in certain places. Some spots are more sensitive than others.
Rub his nipples, tummy, balls, and penis with an ice cube. Don't allow it to rest too long in one spot as it will begin to “burn” him and you don't want that. “Freezer burn” isn't much fun if you are not into pain. So be careful.
Get a utility candle. The kind made for emergencies. They should not contain any color or scent additives. Light it and allow it to drip on various parts of his body. You should hold it at least twenty four inches above his body when doing this as the wax can burn if it's too close when it drips. Just remember, getting wax off of hairy places isn't easy. You might consider shaving his genitals first.
Get out a bowl of hot water, shaving cream, a washcloth and a safety razor. Then carefully shave all the hair off his genitals (and chest too, if you like). This can be very erotic for both of you.
Tap your fingers along the under side of his penis as you would if you were waiting impatiently for something. This will arouse him but should not bring him close to ejaculation. If it does, stop!
Purchase a numbing cream such as “Boy Butter Numbing cream” available at many online sex shops. If you apply a liberal amount to his penis and allow it a few minutes to work, then wipe it off with a dry cloth (or just cover it with a condom). You can then have intercourse with him and he will not feel a thing. It can be fun for you, since you can ride him as long as you like knowing he will not ej
aculate.
Talk to him! I can't emphasize this enough. It doesn't matter what you talk about as long as you talk. If you can do it, talk about something sexually arousing to him. Tell him a fantasy, either one of his or one of your own. If you can't talk about something sexual, you have to use your talking as a distraction. Keep physically stimulating him, but distract his mind with talk about the children, or work, or the finances, or the news. Anything that will keep his mind off of what you are doing to him physically. If he looses his erection, you can talk about that. Tell him that you might just stop what you are doing if he can't keep it up for you. When he gets hard again, go back to your previous discussion.
You can do whatever it takes to keep him aroused as long as you don't let him ejaculate. If you even think he might be getting too close, stop touching him. Wait at least a full minute before you touch him again. This will give him time to relax, to back off the edge, so to speak. The last thing you want is for him to ejaculate. If he does, you will have to start all over again with his denial. The point is to make him wait at least a week or even a month before he gets another orgasm. So pay attention to what you are doing. It is far better to under-stimulate him than to over-stimulate him at this point.
You should plan on doing some kind of bedtime teasing at least three times a week. Seven, would be better, but you must manage to keep him as aroused as possible between times. If you can manage to set yourself up a routine in which you tease him on a daily basis, several times a day, and then give him a good physical teasing at least three times a week, you will find that your partner will become very compliant, obedient, and attentive. That's your goal.
How To Set Up An FLR Page 7