It's totally up to you. I just wanted to give you somewhere to start.
The Weekly Draw:
I know one woman who stretches the game to a whole year by allowing her husband to draw only one card each week. There are 52 weeks in a year so there will be two cards left at the end of one year. She assigns a different reward (or consequence) to each card value. If one of the Jokers (or both) is not drawn during the year, oh well. I guess he loses out.
One Die Games:
You play this game with a single die. Whether you use a standard six-sided die, a ten-sided die, or a twelve-sided one is up to you. The idea is that your partner gets to roll the die one a day or once a week and each side is assigned a reward or consequence. You decide what those rewards and consequences might be. The down side to single die games is that, if you play them too often, the odds may grant him too many orgasms to close together. If he manages to throw a winning number too many times in a row, he may not be vary well behaved between rolls.
Two (or more) Dice Games:
With two dice there are a number of ways you can play. You can assign various rewards to the total on the dice (2-12) or you can separate them (easier if the dice are different colors) and make one die mean one thing, such as a reward, and the other could be a multiplier, or a time limit. There are hundreds of ways to play with two (or more) dice. I'm sure you can come up with a few of your own.
I know one woman who uses three dice in her game. The first two determine a reward or consequence, while the third is used to determine how much time her husband gets for the activity. For example, if the first two dice indicate he gets 10 minutes of teasing, the third die multiplies that by the number rolled. If the first two dice indicate that he gets to masturbate to orgasm, the third die determines how many minutes he has to accomplish his goal.
As you can see, there are many possible variations. What you decide to do is up to you.
Marble or Chip Games:
Your objective here is to create a game that will not grant too many orgasms while allowing your partner to play every day. You can use marbles or colored chips of some kind (poker chips work). You should place all the marbles (or chips) in a cloth back (perhaps the one his chastity device came in?) and have him pull one marble each day. If you only use two or three colors, you will want to make the ratio of the “orgasm” marble to other marbles high enough that it is unlikely that he will get very many full orgasms. Perhaps thirty or forty to one. Maybe higher. The other colors can either get him nothing, or perhaps some kind of reward. Each color you use can be assigned a different reward or consequence.
Roulette Wheel Games:
I have actually seen outlines for using a roulette wheel to determine when and if a man gets an orgasm. There are some nineteen or twenty different bets that can be placed on the outcome of a roulette wheel. The odds (if you count the green places) is thirty-seven to one. There are literally thousands of ways you can run your roulette wheel game. Everything from starting with one chip and “X” number of bets, can he earn enough points (chips) to pay for an orgasm? Or it can be done over time. Maybe one spin of the wheel and one bet per day. His points are allowed to accumulate over time. How long will it take him to earn enough for that orgasm? Here, again, you can assign not only different rewards if he wins a bet or earns a certain number of points, but different consequences for each bet he loses. You should make the reward for winning each different bet comparable to the consequences for losing that bet.
For example; For a bet placed on red or black, he might win one to one in chips. But if he loses that same bet he gets one smack with a paddle. If he wins an orgasm for betting on a single number, then he could get only thirty-five strokes in which to have that orgasm or thirty-five strokes from your riding crop. Whatever you choose.
If you set it up right, roulette could be a really fun game to play, but you might need a place where you can keep the table set up. It can be tedious taking it out, setting it up, and then putting it away again each day.
Masturbation Games:
Now lets talk about one other type of game that is fun to play. Masturbation games! You can use any of the games above to play, but the objective is make your partner attempt to achieve an orgasm in as few strokes as you allow, or within a certain time limit. You would use your game to determine just how many strokes, seconds or minutes he has to reach orgasm. Then he must either do it himself, or, if the game permits, you may do it for him. It is just another way to liven up your sex lives with minimal work on your part.
What games you play and how often you play them should be up to you. If every day is too often, but once a week is not often enough, choose something in between. Whatever works for you.
Remember, the object is to make orgasm denial more fun for the both of you. Games are just one way of doing that. I am sure you can find others, or even invent a new game yourself. I would love to hear about any new or unusual games that you come up with. Drop me a line if you do.
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Chapter 20: Humiliation
The objective of any humiliation is to embarrass the recipient. Plain and simple. Men, when they are still boys (or acting like boys), often play practical jokes on each other (some girls do, too). This a form of humiliation. There are three basic types of humiliation.
Simple embarrassment
- Someone witnessing you doing something stupid.
- Someone seeing you drop your cell phone.
- Making your partner admit that he/she masturbates.
Physical embarrassment
- Making your partner masturbate in front of you.
- Making them masturbate in front of others.
- Slapping or spanking.
Emotional embarrassment (usually verbal)
- Telling your partner that their sexual organs are deficient in some way.
- Name calling.
- Character denigration.
Sometimes one act of humiliation can fall into more than one of these categories. For example, spanking your partner in front of another person can be both physically and emotionally humiliating. Verbally denigrating your partner in the company of others can be both verbally and emotionally humiliating. There are literally thousands of ways you can humiliate another person. But, in a D/s relationship, sometimes the submissive partner enjoys certain types (or even all types) of humiliation as a part of the D/s dynamic.
When I first started out in BDSM, I was a slave to my husband (yes, the wonderful man I am still married to). In order to teach me about humility and humiliation, he did something that I found to be totally and wonderfully erotic. We went to a dungeon party at a friends house. We had been to several of these little get togethers before, but we had never “played” at one. But this particular evening, my husband decided that he wanted to flog me. I was wearing a very revealing top and the shortest skirt I had ever worn.
I was told to stand in the center of the room (there were about twenty other people present) and then I was told to remove my panties. While that was embarrassing enough, there was more to come. The next thing he did was order me to open my blouse revealing my breasts to the entire room. Next I was bent over a spanking bench where he he bound my wrists so that I could not move. Then he proceeded to flip my skirt up over my back fully exposing me bottom, and yes, my private parts, to the spectators. He flogged me, which I was totally prepared for. However, he refused to allow me to either button my blouse or replace my panties. So I was forced to spend the rest of the evening exposed.
Humiliation, depending on the one being humiliated, can be, and often is, very erotic for both parties. I have to admit, that by the time we left the party, I was so turned on, I had juices running down my thighs. That evening taught me a very valuable lesson about humiliation. I have, since becoming a Mistress, often used humiliation to heighten my sub's, as well as my own, enjoyment of many different situations.
One of the most personal and private things a man does in his life, is masturbate.
Unless, for some medical or physical impairment, he is unable to masturbate, every man, at some time in his life, has done it on a regular basis. He might still do it from time to time. Yes, even if he is married. I could tell you one of a hundred funny stories right now, but I won't. I want you to understand how serious all this is.
If you ask a man if he has ever masturbated before, he may admit to it. Ask him to show you how he does it, including what he uses for stimuli, that's another problem altogether. Now you have ventured into his most private of places. Something he would never tell his mother, much less his wife. Masturbation is the single biggest secret a man has. How he does it, when and where he does it, and what he uses to turn himself on, are all a part this big secret.
Why am I bringing this up now? Because, his masturbatory habits are a prime candidate for use in humiliating him. If he is into humiliation, this is a great way to humiliate him. If he is not, it's a great way to punish or discipline him. Think about it for a moment... Would you want your masturbatory habits out in the open? Would you want other people to know what you do and how you do it? Of course not. So use it.
In the following pages I will give many examples of how you can humiliate your partner, sexually. Bare in mind, this is only a small sampling of the things you could do, depending on your partner, and why you are doing it. I suggest you use your own imagination, and what you know about your partner, to come up with a few of your own. Just remember, everyone is different. What works for one may not work for your partner. So you should try to figure out, possibly from their fantasies, what kind of humiliation they might enjoy. If you want to punish or discipline, find those things that they won't enjoy.
Many times men dream of being “forced” to do things. Let me explain where this comes from and what it means to you. First of all, the desire to be forced to do something for their partner, or at their partner's insistence, is a form of humiliation that is erotic. Sexually erotic. For example, my husband, since he became my sub, loves it when I order him to remain naked around the house. He has done it on his own before, but there is no sexual arousal then. He is only turned on by it if I give him the order. It seems like such a simple thing, and he is not embarrassed by it, but he loves being “forced” into it. There are many things you can do to enhance your partner's sexual arousal that don't require that you to spend a great deal of time or effort on your part. You can use it to your advantage, as I mentioned in an earlier chapter.
Let's start with masturbatory humiliations, since they can, quite often, be used either way. To start with, if you have a male submissive, here are a few things that you can use that I consider to be mild forms of humiliation.
- Men experience their lowest sexual level (think desire) when they have just ejaculated. That means, even though they may have indicated that they would like to be “forced” to swallow their own ejaculate, their desire to do so at this time will be at it's lowest. That makes it the perfect time to make them do it. Punishment, or reward? You be the judge.
- Order him to masturbate for you. That can quite intimidating for a man. Don't give him any of his usual stimuli and see just how difficult it can be for him.
- Give him a time limit, or limit the number of strokes he is allowed. This will give him some incentive and, perhaps, enough stimulation to at least become hard.
- Kibitz him. Make it more difficult by telling him to hurry or complain about how long it is taking him. Make him nervous, it will take him longer.
- Tell him that either he ejaculates in a set amount of time or he will have to wait another week, or month before he gets another opportunity.
- Make him tell you a really good fantasy while he is doing it. It might speed him up, but you can always stop him before he reaches orgasm if you like.
- Have him stand in front of you to do it. He will be less comfortable and it will likely be more difficult for him to achieve his goal.
- Have him do one of those online web-teases. They can be extremely difficult because most require him to edge himself several times. You can watch or even help to insure he does everything as required by the tease. Some don't even permit him to orgasm at all. You should preview them to find the best one for your partner. (Sorry, I haven't seen any for women.)
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The following are more severe, BDSM style of masturbation things you can do. Some might require that you be more open about your relationship with some people.
- Put some coffee grounds into his lubrication and make him masturbate with it. It might make him a bit sore, but he won't bother you for sex for awhile.
- Have him use Icy-Hot(R), Bengay(R), or other mentholated cream as a lubricant to masturbate.
- Have your partner masturbate in front of one of your friends. Male or female, this will be extremely humiliating.
- Have them go to the restroom while eating out and masturbate. Or a male can take his drink with him and masturbate into it before returning to the table. Then he must drink it.
- Insert a butt-plug before you have him masturbate for you, or your guests.
- Make him purchase (at a real store) an inflatable doll. Then he can use her to get himself off while you watch. (Make him wear a condom.) By-the-way, they make male dolls (in case you were wondering). Going into the store with your partner is a good idea. You don't want them saying it's a gag-gift for a bridal shower or bachelor party.
- Purchase a milking device (for him or her) and make them use it several times a day.
- Have your partner use a restroom (anywhere) while wearing pants. Have them masturbate to orgasm in their pants. Then they must wear them for the rest of the day while you are out. Hopefully, there will be small wet spot. Especially good if your girl ejaculates when she orgasms.
- Video tape him masturbating. That alone may be humiliating. But when you threaten to upload it to the Internet, he will definitely be humiliated. If you are into it, go ahead and upload it.
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Now let's move on to other forms of humiliation. Again, this first list are mild humiliations that should not be too kinky for those of you are not into BDSM.
- Feeding your partner from your plate while eating out can be a turn on as well as a humiliation for either sex.
- Have him perform chores around the house while naked. If, because of children and such, you can't really do that, then take him to the bedroom for five minutes of sexual stimulation after each chore is completed.
- Tell a friend about his chastity device or that he is submissive to you, while he is present. (Or pretend to do it while on the phone.)
- Make him spend all day naked if you don't have children.
- Order a pizza and make him answer the door and pay for it while naked. (He should hide himself behind the door while doing it.)
- If you have a privacy fence in the back yard, have him stand on the back porch for several minutes while nude. Or even in the middle of the yard. If you are worried about the neighbors, have him do it at night. Turn the light on when it's time for him to come in.
- As a punishment or discipline, tie a string around his balls and attach one end to something heavy (like a workout weight) or a permanent fixture like a table. He can't move until you release him.
- Have him call someone on the phone and, while talking to them, he must mention that he is naked. Who he calls can make a difference in the amount of humiliation he feels.
- If you are inclined, follow him around the house with your riding crop to encourage him to do his chores.
- Take your partner shopping and have them carry all your purchases. Also, make them walk two steps behind you at all times.
- Make them wear a butt-plug on your shopping trip.
- Take them to a sex shop and have them purchase items that will be embarrassing, dildos, butt-plugs, anal lubes, etc., while you wait in the car or watch from a distance.
- For a man, take him to a lingerie shop and have him buy panties and the like for himself. Whether you ever make him w
ear them is up to you. Just having to buy them will be humiliating enough.
- Have him wear panties or pantyhose (or even a teddy) to work under his regular clothes. Even better if he goes to the gym and must change in front of others.
- Along the same vain, make him wear a garter belt and stockings under his clothing while at work or out in public. Especially if he is not into cross-dressing.
- Even if you have children, he can stand in the corner of your bedroom for a time, perhaps with a dime (or penny) held against the wall by his nose.
- If he is not wearing a chastity device (shame on you) you can loosely bind his cock and balls with a shoelace and send him to work that way.
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Below are some more humiliating things that might be too kinky for the faint of heart... Or those of you are not so kinky.
- I don't recommend nipple clamps during outings as they should not be left in place too long. However, for women, there are nipple rings designed to keep the nipples erect. These are great under thin blouses.
- Men can wear clip-on earrings to bring attention themselves.
- Of course, being naked in the passenger seat of the car while out for a ride can be pretty humiliating for anyone. Especially when you pass trucks.
- Invite a group of friends over for a party. Your partner can serve them drinks etc. while wearing a skimpy outfit such as see-though lingerie. Maybe a maid's costume with no panties?
- Take your male partner to a female doctor. Insist on being in the room for the physical and be sure it includes a prostate exam. This works even better if he is wearing his chastity device when you go in. You can remove it in front of the doctor or a nurse.
How To Set Up An FLR Page 12