Bastian’s hands smoothed down my arms, a squeeze in his hands before he brought them down to mine.
“We’ve gotten it out of our system,” he said, moving forward. His strong smell stimulated my gag reflexes now. He looked down at me. “And once you come home, once you put this place behind you…”
He reached forward, again wanted to touch me, brand me in the ways he always had. One man never felt the need to do that in my life.
He’d been sure enough of himself where he never had to.
My hand cut him off this last time and I shook my head when I backed away.
I wouldn’t put this place behind me because I wasn’t coming home.
I was already here.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Gray
I was lounging against the front door of my trailer that night like I knew she’d be there.
Like I knew she’d come back to me.
She’d left with that guy, almost like he’d been an out, a means by which she could rid herself of this place and all that happened here. He was her familiar, her link to her world that didn’t involve this town or me for that matter. He’d taken her away, no other words said after I hit him.
I’d hit him again any day of the damn week.
My shoulder fell from the doorframe as I watched Alicia come to me, the night around and her steps fast. I didn’t know what to say to her, if I should apologize for hitting that guy or what. My guilt when it came to that issue was limited, but I didn’t want to hurt her.
I wanted to lose her even less.
She stood in front of me, her rental car she currently drove in the distance, and she stood out of breath, her breasts rising and falling in her top. I supposed the apologies happened at this point and I would have no matter how little I regretted what I’d done. I would have done that for her if she needed it though, tail between my legs and all. Pride was only for that of foolish men and it took me learning that the hard way a long time ago to figure it out. I didn’t have time for pride, life limited. Even still, I wasn’t the first to engage her, truly not knowing how to act. After all, I may have hurt her by what I’d done to the guy she brought into all our lives.
But she cut me in two as well.
Holding herself, her shoulders shaking I nearly broke down and grabbed her, but then she stepped forward, dipping her head before pushing her arms around my torso.
She fit right in that perfect place, just below my neck and shoulder with her height. Her fingers into my open plaid shirt, she found her place, her energy and soft heat flowing through me.
I lifted an arm, accepting her. I didn’t know what brought her here, but I wouldn’t turn her away.
I guided her inside eventually like a man would his woman. Though, I had no idea what that meant for us. I remained hopeful and did what I normally would when it came to her.
Her vision panned once inside, her jacket sliding down her arms.
“She’s in bed,” I told her, assuming she was looking for Laura. By the time I got to her it had been late and I probably should have picked her up sooner.
Alicia’s hands came together, her head nodding, and I invited her to sit on my couch. I’d been sorta watching television before she came over, not really.
We sat and, instinctually, I lifted my arm, welcoming her to come over.
Sliding right away, she gathered her legs underneath her, her hands on my chest and I listened to her breathing beneath the soft sounds of the television set. She remained silent for a long time, but the first words she said were “I’m sorry.”
My eye closed softly to them, my arms sliding around her shoulders.
“I shouldn’t have hit him,” I told her, but then she looked up at me, smiling in her special way that made her curly lashes peek up at me.
“I wish I would have,” she admitted. Not knowing what she meant by that, I pressed my fingers to her cheek.
“He didn’t…” I started, vision clouding before my very eyes. I shook my head out of it. “He didn’t touch you.”
The fact I actually let her go tonight with that son of a bitch struck me hard, my shock the only reason I had. She’d looked at him in the way of showing sympathy tonight, and as I’d been the one to hurt him, I could react in no other way than to step back, give her space.
But if he’d hurt her…
“No, nothing like that, Gray,” she stated, soothing me by pressing her fingers into my chest. Her lip was chewed with her next words.
“We were lovers, Bastian and I.”
Something I suspected. Though, I hadn’t been entirely sure.
It hurt no less.
The cave in my heart settled in, a slow collapse of the walls already vulnerable to her. She had a means to destroy my insides if she wanted to, something I’d allowed her to do over time.
Her gaze searched my face and slowly she was on her knees, her essence, that power before my eyes in the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Her lids closing, she moved her body forward and kissed me in a way that pulled all emotions to the forefront, her body languid against mine. Her lips pulled at my mouth, her teeth tugging my lower lip and I massaged a hand to her hip, unable to help myself.
“Alicia…”
“Gray.”
Guiding a hand around her thigh, I brought her over my waist, pressing a kiss to her stomach.
The flesh beat with intensity under my mouth, her tummy quivering through her shirt and shaking beneath my touch.
“You’re in my bed tonight,” I told her, then took her there, my hands around her hips and her thighs locked to my waist.
We exchanged words tonight, ones I had no idea where they would lead or what they meant for us. A lot happened this evening, and for all I knew, she had that guy waiting for her when she left tonight.
But in my house, in my bed, she was mine. She was mine, as I pushed myself between her legs, kissing her folds and making her body sweat and shake. I was hers as she drove her nails into my back, branding me with red welts that’d be there long after she left me. She’d always be with me. It didn’t matter how long or by what means I tried to forget. She embedded herself in me and though I had resisted for a time there’d be no more of that. The damage was done.
She had my heart in her hand.
Pressing her thighs down to my bed, I arched up, the woman a goddess in my sheets. They already smelled of her and our lovemaking, her soft feminine scent filling the room and making it hers.
Drawing my tongue up her inner thigh, I tasted her juices, which had escaped, her thighs twitching and coming to wrap around my head. She wanted me inside her, her sweet heat, but I held her at bay, tasting her. I needed to remember this, how it felt.
My hand smoothed down the fullness of her deep-ebony toned legs, my body arching up so I could suck her tit, the dark areola peaked and ready to be laved with my tongue.
I went there, grabbing her other breast before I dipped my head, but she stopped me, her gaze on me in a way that could rip me apart. It was ripping me apart.
Cupping her cheek, I wanted to tell her to choose me, that I’d be there for her.
I really would make it everything for her.
“Gray?”
There were questions in her eyes, questions that caused me to close mine.
Peeling her fingers from my cheek, I spread her legs, filling her like I had that first time, nothing between us. It hadn’t been a deliberate thought.
It just felt right.
Her eyes rolled back as she took me in deep, her head rolling on my sheets and truly making them hers. They could be and I wanted her to take them.
I brought her arms back behind her head, extending myself and using my knees to rock into her. My thighs slapped the inside of hers, a burn with every hit to her soft flesh.
Her breasts shook, her eyes closed and I took that moment to kiss her, tell her everything I wanted.
“Stay,” seeped from my lips, the ache in my voice a fervent want. “Stay and say you�
�re mine.”
I wanted her to feel it, to know how it could be. We could do this. We could be our own forever.
She held me tight with every word, every kiss and thrust between her trembling legs. Her sweat, her passion, I could taste in my mouth and I almost missed the words so quickly. They’d been passion-filled, raw like mine had been.
She’d said, “Yes,” and then, “You’re my home.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Alicia
The notes filled the wide hall of the church in the most exuberant way, the ones following mine not as loud but just as strong. Laura played with confidence beside me, our duet together not our first but the debut of her playing for a crowd. She’d been an excellent student in the past few weeks, expressing interest in learning to play piano well early on. She’d been patient. She’d been hungry, and today, the world got to see her in this morning’s service. Laura had been nervous about playing, naturally some of that old shyness creeping back within her. She had grown in bounds, a lifetime in a few months and that bravery continued on as she pressed those keys with a life that we’d all seen form within her.
One would be hard-pressed to see that eight-year-old of before now, a little girl in her Sunday best while literally a congregation held onto her every sound. She wanted to play at the service, which preceded the church bazaar, all who desired to display a talent invited to play today. This church had been highlighted with the music and feeling of a small town, many voices and instruments performed in only a few hours. It’d been a time of magic and blessings I’d been fortunate to be a part of, a little girl wanting me beside her as she played amongst the lot. Laura had dedicated this performance to her daddy, the man sitting in the front row with his shirt ironed and his hair moussed after a fresh haircut. Gray usually sat in the back during services we’d attended in the past.
He sat up front today.
He’d held Laura’s hand just before she came up here, mine in her other, and together, we pushed those nerves full out. She had this. The world had always been hers.
I heard nothing of voices, chatter, or even breathing during her playing. It was just Laura with the accompaniment of myself and how the world rang after we were done.
She sat there with the final note, her hands on the keys while applause boomed around her, and leaning, I touched my head on top of hers.
“Look,” I told her, smiling wide across her crown. She always smelled of sunshine, heaven’s little angel. “They adore you.”
She looked up after my words, seeing that adoration, but her vision didn’t leave the front row. Gray’s booming applause I was sure could be heard well beyond the front row, but he wasn’t allowed to do it long.
Laura jumped up from the piano bench but she hadn’t made it to him before he made it to her. Down on one knee, he brought his arm around her, a rose he had on the pew in his hand. Upon giving it to her, he spoke words I couldn’t hear over the sound in the room, but I didn’t need to read lips to know he was proud of her.
Some days I truly didn’t believe my life and the decisions I’d made following up to the very point of it. They’d been decisions I hadn’t made lightly and would require time to work themselves out completely. I had a life before this place, obligations and commitments well before the town of Mayfield, Kansas. They’d need my care to make sure they panned out, but the toughest hurdle had already been overcome.
I let myself be happy.
The church was a wash of activity following the performance of Laura and several others who dared to put themselves out there for their community. It’d been a day of happiness and smiles and the energy due to it was easy to become addicted to. There was beauty in such simplicity and I myself had been fortunate enough to be at the forefront of a lot of the gleeful chatter. By now, the entire community had pretty much heard of my intent to stay, more than a few hugs of welcome casted my way. The church bazaar followed the performances and I was basically hugged out by the time the event started. So much love was sent my way, the people of this town a true oddity to me. I’d never been cared about as much as I had by so many new people in my life. It was nice.
Ava, Jolene, and myself were placed in charge of the bake sale portion of the bazaar and we started right away in getting the foundation set up and the tasty treats donated, plated, and labeled with signage. Gray had been good for the set up, a strong back and a huge pair of arms to make sure everything was structured in the way it should be structured. He and a few other congregation members contributed to that, and I had to say, put on a nice little show for even some of the married women of the church. The women seemed to have found their way over to Ava, Jolene, and me, talking to us while we set up, yes, but watching the men just the same with subtle smiles. By the time Gray and the other men finished, I’d pretty much heard the voices of the entire female population of the town, everyone at service today and the bazaar.
Gray came over to me after, a hammer in his hand after he set up a makeshift display table to go on top of one of the folding platforms. The man seemed to always have a hammer in his hand these days despite concluding the project for me. I may have been busy recovering from the fallout of deciding to stay here, putting in resumes for local law offices both here and in neighboring towns and cementing my life here, but he was taking on jobs several towns over, his day to day extremely busy.
But I knew it made him so, so happy.
The man’s smile couldn’t be kept off his face these days and he shined it on me, welcoming me by a touch of the hip. His hand ventured to go higher, until averted eyes by Jolene, Ava, and the other women who lingered in a circus fashion around him let him know now wasn’t the time for that, unfortunately. Instead, he offered to brush a kiss on my cheek.
“Are you okay here?” he asked, pulling away. “I have to take Laura back to the house.”
“Oh?” I asked, knowing he meant his house despite what we’d talked about. We hadn’t spoken to Laura yet about the changes that were arising, but not out of fear. We actually planned to take her on a mini vacation outside of the city, make a real thing of it and let her know she and Gray would be moving into my aunt’s house with me.
Make a family thing out of it.
Gray had been in an absolute tizzy trying to plan it, and because of that fact, I decided to take the reins, the trip in our near future.
He nodded, a flash of grin to his full lips. He had the kind perfect for sucking and I did often.
He rubbed the smile away a little. “Yeah, she left a plate of cookies for today on the counter. I told her you all look like you got it handled,” he paused, gaze sliding over the buffet of goodies that still seemed to be coming in. He chuckled. “But she’s insistent. She feels bad and stayed up most of the night making them. Well, basically I made them but she helped.”
I could only think, “Could this man be more sweet?” I was hard-pressed, it took me so long to realize it. He’d been so sharp with me at first, a blade, which cut at the easiest instance. Eventually, that razor edge dulled and I was glad it had.
I told him of course it was fine he left me, more than. I got a soft kiss on my forehead and the ladies behind me a wave, which caused half of them to blush before going away, Ava included. Jolene had the decency to avert her eyes, but Ava came right over, gratefully the appearance ended up being her asking if I was ready to work.
I tapped her shoulder. “Always.”
She handed me pies and we went on, setting up the rest of the displays. The bazaar didn’t officially start for another twenty minutes or so and we still had several boxes of cakes and things that needed to be broken down. Even the town’s local bakery donated items and I had a feeling many would end up on my kitchen table. They all looked so delectable.
I must have been smiling while placing because both Ava and Jolene stared at me by the time I got done setting up my last box. My return stare inquisitive, Ava simply brushed my shoulder.
She shrugged. “It’s just nice to see you happ
y,” she said, shaking her head a little before using a box cutter to the back of a box. “That everything worked out.”
“Worked out?”
Her gaze went up slightly, a smile in her eyes. “Everything with Gray. You guys seem happy.”
“We all see it.” Jolene cut in with that last part, arranging some pies.
The fact everyone knew what was going on in my personal life though unsaid used to alarm me, but as this was such a small town, it no longer did. It was wonderfully small.
I couldn’t stop the smile on my face, agreeing with them. I stepped with a box and was nearly sideswiped by a little girl, Laura’s friend Jasmine. It seemed without her cohort, Laura back at the house getting cookies, that the young girl was wild and free and Jolene slid an arm around her niece, the girl looking so much like her with her flourish of red hair.
“We pay attention now, don’t we?” she told the young girl, but she tugged on her braid with a smile after she said the words.
“It’s fine,” I told them both. “And I am happy. It did work out.”
It worked out so well it scared me sometimes. There were still some things about Gray that lingered in the wanderings of my brain, but these were things I knew over time I’d gain answers to. It’d just take the time of knowing him and getting to know him beyond those things that no longer needed knowing. I knew the man’s heart already though, his soul.
I knew his love.
He was an incredibly good person and maybe the best I’d ever found myself around and that, well, that was enough.
Jolene went on with her tasks, letting Jasmine play near us with a beanbag she kicked around and Ava shook my arm.
“That’s so wonderful,” she said to me. “And even more that you’re staying from what I hear.”
I was surprised she hadn’t brought that up sooner, the first to give her two cents most days.
What could I say, I loved the girl.
“Yes,” I said and she grinned.
“So Jo’s property… you’re staying on it and everything?” she asked with a hair flip up, almost an afterthought as she moved onto another box filled with cupcakes.
His Sweetest Song Page 19