by Amy Dunne
After an hour of intense deliberation, she was certain of one thing: it would be best for everyone if their relationship wasn’t made public to Katie and Beth just yet. They didn’t need the additional pressure that would come with revealing their relationship to Beth and Katie. It would buy Catherine some much needed time, too. When Holly and she returned to London they could see how things worked out. If they got on well and it looked like there was a future, it might be worth telling Beth. But potentially losing Beth, Katie, and Florence wasn’t something she was going to risk on a whim. It might seem selfish, but it made perfect sense.
They pulled onto a singularly narrow road.
“I think the house is at the top of here,” Holly said. “Let’s hope nobody decides to come down while we’re going up.”
Now was the time. Catherine took a deep breath and prepared what she was going to say in her head. “So, I’ve been thinking it’d be for the best if we continue not to mention what’s happening between us. You k-know, keep it between ourselves for now. That way nobody gets upset.”
Holly slowed the speed of the car, but the house came into view at the top of the road. “Who’d get upset?”
“Well, Beth and Katie might not approve.”
“I seriously doubt it. But what’s it got to do with them anyway?”
This wasn’t going the way she’d envisioned it. Changing tack, Catherine tried again. “We don’t want to p-put unnecessary pressure on ourselves, do we?”
“Catherine, what are you saying?” Holly asked, her tone testy.
Catherine swallowed and dropped her gaze to Kimmy’s fur. “I’d feel more comfortable if we didn’t tell anyone about what’s happening with us. It’s a private thing, between the two of us. I think it should stay that way, for the time being anyway. Telling Beth will bring us a whole host of drama, even with her good intentions. You know what she’s like. To give us the best shot, we don’t need unnecessary pressure. We can take our time and evaluate how we feel when we’re back in London.”
The tyres crunched on snow-covered gravel as the car came to a standstill outside the house. Holly switched the engine off and turned to face her. “You’re asking me to keep our relationship a secret?”
“Yes, I suppose I am.”
“I’m confused, Catherine. We talked about this yesterday and we both agreed we were going to give this a fighting chance.”
“I know—”
“Then why the secrecy? Are you embarrassed to be in a relationship with me?” Holly asked, angrily, her cheeks pink and her eyes flashing with emotion.
Catherine hesitated a moment too long. “No.”
“I don’t believe you.” Holly turned away. “There’s no other reason for keeping it a secret. And doing so makes it feel sordid.”
The front door to the house opened. Katie, Beth, and Florence all appeared on the steps with big smiles and waves.
“Holly, please let’s keep it between ourselves for now. I’m not embarrassed. I swear I’m not. I need a little bit of time, that’s all.” Catherine reached across and took hold of one of her hands. “Please?” she begged. Time was almost out.
“It’s not like I have a choice, is it?” Holly spat the words as if they were venomous.
Catherine dropped Holly’s hand like it was hot when Katie appeared at her window. The hurt on Holly’s face would be seared in her mind forever. Swallowing down the self-disgust, she forced a big smile and opened the door.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Hugging Beth, Katie, and Florence was far more emotionally bittersweet than Catherine had envisioned. It didn’t help that she felt shitty about how she’d treated Holly. She vowed to make amends as soon as they left to return to London.
“Come on, Aunty Cat,” Florence said excitedly. She tugged on Catherine’s free hand, trying to lead her into the house. Kimmy didn’t hesitate in following Florence, and soon Catherine was being dragged by both of them.
Florence was the five-year-old version of Beth. Her dark hair was a mass of unruly curls, her eyelashes and eyebrows were dark. Her eyes were the same colour blue and a generous sprinkling of freckles covered her face. Her personality was definitely a mixture of Beth’s and Katie’s traits. She was a tomboy who loved getting mucky and playing sports, which was Katie’s influence. Beth hated anything remotely sporty, claiming she had no natural ability, interest, or stamina. Catherine could affirm the first two, but the third was an ongoing bone of contention, as Beth could walk in stilettos for hours if there was a sale. Florence had inherited Beth’s stubbornness, but Katie’s quick wit and sense of adventure. Catherine’s heart swelled with pride and love.
The house was huge. Catherine stumbled out of her wellies and Florence took them straight into the kitchen. Beth and Holly followed close behind.
“What do dogs eat?” Florence asked. Shyly, she watched Kimmy, while leaning in close to Catherine’s side.
“Dog food,” Catherine said. She unclipped the lead and harness. Kimmy wasted no time in sniffing everything. Florence hid behind Catherine’s legs, peeking out, to keep her eye on Kimmy’s exploration.
“She also likes carrots.” Holly brushed past Catherine coolly and stood by the fridge. “May I?” she asked Beth.
“Sure.”
Holly took out a knobbly carrot, knelt down, and motioned for Florence to come over. Florence ran over. “Here you go,” Holly said. She wrapped a reassuring arm around Florence’s waist and helped her offer out the carrot. “Come on, Kimmy.”
Kimmy took the carrot with the gentlest of touches and then rushed under the table to happily munch away. Florence’s nerves were long gone, as she lay on her tummy on the wooden floor, chin resting in her hands, watching Kimmy from a distance. She was clearly besotted, and Catherine could identify.
“So let me get this straight. You’ve actually adopted a dog?” Beth asked. She leant on the kitchen counter. Her black curly hair fell to her shoulders, bright blue eyes pinned Catherine with their intelligence. She stood only five feet in height—the only attribute Catherine could ever tease her about. Beth’s body was curvaceous, and although she’d always been lots bigger in the chest department, since having Florence, her breasts were huge. She was naturally beautiful, and the makeup she wore only enhanced the naturally dark eyelashes, red lips, and blushed cheeks.
“Yes,” Catherine said. She shrugged off her coat and hung it on the back of one of the chairs.
“And you think you’re equipped to own a dog?” Beth’s tone clearly revealed she didn’t think so.
“Yes, I do.” Catherine’s annoyance prickled beneath the surface.
“After three days,” Beth said—a statement not a question. “I’m sorry, but I think you’ve rushed into this without thinking it through. You’ve never had a dog. Do you even know the first thing about looking after one?” The room loomed silent, apart from the crunching from beneath the table. Florence remained oblivious to the awkwardness, kicking her cartoon wellies back and forth. Holly silently rested against the fridge. Beth’s intense gaze didn’t waver.
“I’ll manage,” Catherine said.
“For both your sakes, I hope so.”
“She’s been incredible with Kimmy,” Holly said. “They’ve got a great bond, and Catherine’s proven herself to be more than capable of looking after her.” She folded her arms and her gaze darted everywhere except in Catherine’s direction.
Beth looked flabbergasted and it took her a moment to recover. When she finally looked away from Holly and back at Catherine, she seemed suitably chastised. “Holly’s right. I’m sure you’ve thought about this in your special in-depth way. And it’s good you’ll have company.”
Catherine tried to portray her gratitude to Holly, but after a brief meeting of eyes, Holly looked away.
“As soon as you get to know her, you’ll love her,” Catherine said to Beth.
“I never had you pegged as a dog lover.” Beth filled the silver kettle with water from the tap.
“I wasn’t,” Catherine said. “There’s something about her. You’ll see.”
The door opened and Katie slipped inside. She wore loose-fitting jeans and a baggy jumper. She’d always worn her blond hair short, as far back as Catherine could remember, the sides and back cut close. Her skin was naturally sun-kissed in winter, thanks to the amount of time she spent working outside on the ski slopes. Catherine stood an inch taller than Katie, but it never felt like it. There was something about her confidence, her muscular body always in the peak of fitness, and the way she held herself that made her seem larger than life.
Katie gave Catherine a hug before going to Holly. “How’s it going, baby cuz?”
Holly laughed and pulled Katie into a hug. “Glad to have finally made it here in one piece.”
“How come things are never easy with you, huh?” Katie asked, playfully bumping shoulders. “Fancy a trip out on the slopes? The conditions couldn’t be better.”
“They’ve only just got here,” Beth said, clearly not happy by the proposal.
Holly glanced at Catherine, her expression darkened, and she gave a nod. “I’d love to. Go easy on me, though. It’s been a few years.”
“It’ll all come flooding back. Come upstairs and I’ll get you kitted out. I’ve missed you, baby cuz. I can’t wait to catch up on what you’ve been up to. I want to hear all the juicy details.” Katie beamed a cheesy grin. She kissed Beth on the cheek and ruffled Florence’s hair before heading to the door. “See you later, family.”
“Be safe,” Beth said. She stirred a spoon in one of the cups.
Holly walked past Catherine without speaking or looking at her. It hurt far more than Catherine expected.
“Here you go.” Beth handed Catherine a cup. “Let’s go to the living room. We can have a proper catch-up.”
“Thanks,” Catherine said unenthusiastically. A catch-up in Beth’s world meant a lengthy interrogation, which she didn’t need.
*
As predicted, within the space of five minutes, Beth had become smitten with Kimmy’s cuteness and charm. It took less than half that time for Kimmy to make herself completely at home in front of the raging fire. Florence sat beside her, stroking Kimmy’s belly and happily chattering gibberish. From the tired whooshing of Kimmy’s tail, she appeared to be in heaven.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Beth stretched her socked feet across Catherine’s lap. She knew it bugged Catherine but always did it anyway.
“Me too.”
“I never thought you’d genuinely consider driving up here. Eve was beside herself when you agreed. It means a lot, Cat.”
Catherine shrugged. “I’ve missed you all.”
Beth playfully swatted her shoulder. “Jeez! What’s happened to you? How come you’ve turned into an emotional wreck since the last time I saw you? Bring back the old, miserable, workaholic Cat. You know the one—she always avoids my calls.”
Catherine smiled. “You never were good at taking a hint.”
“Touché.” Beth laughed. “So what do you think of the house?”
“Well, I’ve only seen the kitchen and this room so far, but I think it’s beautiful. I almost understand why you moved to the middle of nowhere.”
“It’s everything we ever wanted.” Beth smiled. “But I do miss the hustle and bustle of The Big Smoke. Oh, and the shops. I miss shopping so much. You have no idea how dire the shops are up here.”
“I’m glad to see being up here hasn’t changed you. You’re still as superficial as ever,” Catherine said.
“And you remain about as funny as a wet fart in white trousers.” Beth wriggled her feet. “Speaking of funny, you seemed to get on well with Holly.”
“Yeah. She’s okay.” Catherine begged her body not to give her guilt away. She drastically needed to change the subject. “Did you decorate this room? It’s surprisingly tasteful.”
Beth gave a pointed look. “My taste is impeccable. I’ve done the whole house. It took a lot of time and even more money, but it’s exactly how I wanted it. Thanks.”
“What made you go for cream carpets?” Catherine asked, glad to have chosen a safe, if somewhat boring, topic of conversation. Anything was preferable to talking about Holly.
They spent the next few hours chatting away and poking fun at one another. Catherine realised how much she’d missed it. It reaffirmed how important their relationship was, and the prospect of losing them was crushing. But all the while, Holly hijacked her thoughts. Unanswered questions repeated on a loop in Catherine’s mind. She’d convinced herself that her actions had been justified, but doubt and regret were closing in. Her teeth were set on edge, trying to prevent hidden truths from being carelessly blurted out. She missed Holly desperately. Without the presence of her encompassing warmth and light, Catherine felt thrown into cold darkness. Holly was like a bruise that Catherine couldn’t leave alone, no matter how much it hurt.
“Mummy Katie and Aunty Holly are back,” Florence said. She rushed to the bay window.
Panic stirred in Catherine’s mind.
What if Holly told Katie the truth? She wouldn’t, would she?
“I need to start preparing dinner,” Beth said, getting to her feet.
“I can help if you want?” Catherine asked, hoping if she was in the kitchen, she might keep out of Holly’s way. At the very least, she’d be preoccupied.
“Aunty Cat, will you come and play with me? Please?” Florence asked, dragging out the please for a few seconds in a whiney tone. Her head slumped to one shoulder and her bottom lip began to wobble.
“Err, okay,” Catherine said. Resistance was futile.
“Yay!” Florence bounced up and down on the spot. “Kimmy’s coming to play, too.”
“Florence Louise Locke-Collins,” Beth said sternly. “Calm down. Kimmy might not be allowed to play.”
“Why?” Florence asked in a surly tone.
“She might try and eat some of your toys—”
“No, she won’t. Me and Aunty Cat will watch her.”
Beth and Florence both turned their attention on Catherine. She looked from one to the other uneasily. She’d feel better having Kimmy with her. If she did misbehave, there was always the option of taking her downstairs. “She can come up. But if she’s naughty she’ll have to go downstairs.”
Grinning in triumph, Florence rushed from the room, with Kimmy following at her heels.
“You spoil her rotten, Cat.”
“No, I don’t. I just want to play with the toys.”
Beth smiled. “She’s got you wrapped around her little finger and she knows it.”
“Let’s be honest. I never stood a chance. She knows how to play me. She’s obviously learnt from the best.”
“Damn straight,” Beth said.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“Santa got me this too,” Florence said. She proudly pointed to another stuffed toy.
Catherine nodded. “I like it.” She’d been shown umpteen toys and her brain was starting to hurt a little.
Kimmy sniffed a few toys before settling on the pink rug.
“Do you wanna play pirates with me?”
Catherine nodded and sat crossed-legged on the floor. The pirate ship Eve had purchased on her behalf was awesome. They split the plastic toys and started playing. For a five-year-old, Florence’s imagination was impressive, but Catherine had to tune out of the verbal diarrhoea that accompanied it.
A timid knock on the open door made them look up. Holly stood in the doorway and Catherine suspected she’d been there a while.
“Aunty Holly, do you wanna play pirates, too?” Florence asked eagerly.
“I’d love to, but dinner’s ready. Definitely another time, Flo,” Holly said.
“I don’t wanna have dinner,” Florence said. She folded her small arms and huffed.
“Oh dear. That’s a shame. I suppose I’ll have to decorate the chocolate cake for pudding all by myself.” Holly turned slowly to leave.
In a flash, Flo
rence wrapped herself around Holly’s legs. “I wanna do it. Please, Aunty Holly? Please?”
“I don’t know, Flo. What’s the rule about decorating puddings?” Holly asked. She stroked Florence’s back.
“People’s got to eat dinner and then decorate pudding,” Florence said, clearly rehearsed with the rule. Giggling, she squirmed away from Holly’s tickling fingers.
“That’s right. Shall we go eat dinner?” Holly whispered conspiratorially.
“Yeah.” Florence looked back at Catherine and Kimmy. “Come on, Aunty Cat and Kimmy, we’re gonna go eat dinner now.” She raced from the bedroom with Kimmy hot on her tracks.
“See you down there,” Holly said, seeming to hesitate.
“You’re great with her,” Catherine said. It’d been lovely to see how Florence and Holly got on. She ignored the tiny sting of jealousy caused from their familiar closeness.
“I was thinking the same thing,” Holly said. She shoved her hands into her pockets. “You’re a natural with children.” Holly left the room before Catherine could reply.
Catherine wondered if it would be possible to make things up to Holly when they left. Their interactions were cooler, and they’d only been here for half a day. If things continued to deteriorate at this rate, there might not be a relationship to keep secret.
*
Catherine entered the dining room and her stomach dropped. Her place had been set opposite Holly. In all fairness, Holly didn’t look particularly enthused by the seating arrangements either.
They passed the dishes around. The chicken casserole smelled good and was served with creamy mash and plenty of veg. Florence sat on a booster cushion between Holly and Beth. She looked bored and lazily watched the dishes move over her head. She squeezed her cheeks together with her palms and blew a raspberry.
“Florence, don’t do that please,” Beth said. She dished out a small spoonful of mash onto Florence’s plate.
“What?” Florence asked, her lips puckered like a fish.
“You know exactly what.” Beth gave her a stern look, and Catherine was glad she wasn’t on the receiving end. “Now what veg are you having tonight?”