Among all the chatter and laughter and shuffling of hooves, there was a serious mood. With each passing rodeo, the time until the season’s end grew shorter, the competitions more determined. There were only six months left until the Finals. Every second, every turn of rope, every powerful jump of a rodeo bronc became more important. Kate could feel the anxiousness. As she walked among the contestants many hollered a hello or gave a whistle. She waved back, but didn’t stop to talk. They didn’t have time right now to chat or break concentration. As she curved around a horse trailer with New Mexico plates she saw a girl struggling with her hat.
“Can I help?” Kate asked.
“I don’t know. I can’t seem to keep it clean and I can’t seem to keep it on, when I run the barrels.” The girl’s eyes were a striking blue against her pale face.
Kate laid a hand against the girl’s shaking ones. “I know a secret. White hats are beautiful and hard to keep clean. But,” Kate winked, “if you sprinkle them with baby powder the dark smudges disappear.”
“Okay. I have some that I use on my cinch once in a while.” The girl smiled.
“Well there you go. Now as to keeping your hat on.” Kate pointed to the other horse trailers parked nearby. “I’m sure that one of the girls along here has a few extra hat pins.” The girl’s confused look made Kate smile. “They’re just really long, sturdy bobby pins. And so you don’t get a headache, put the flat side against your head.”
“How’d you know all that?”
“Oh, I know a thing or two about barrel racing. My name’s Kate.” She held out her hand.
“Kate?” The girl reached for Kate’s hand. “Kate White!”
Kate nodded.
The girl giggled. “I’m shaking Kate White’s hand. I’m Rebecca Connar.”
“Hello Rebecca. You’re from Santa Fe, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. How’d you know that?”
“Oh, well. You know things.” Kate smiled.
Rebecca let go of Kate’s hand. “I heard about what happened to your horse. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, she was awesome.” Kate looked at Rebecca’s horse. “Your Buster’s pretty awesome too.”
“I love him.” Rebecca paused. “Hey Kate?”
“Yeah?”
“If I win tonight, I’m going to dedicate it to you and your Lady Bug.”
Tears filled Kate’s eyes. “That’d be great,” she whispered.
Walking toward the arena, Kate took a deep breath. The scents of the rodeo grounds filled her lungs. Dust kicked up by the rodeo stock. Freshly popped popcorn. Bubblegum cotton candy. Manure. Sweat. Diesel fuel. All the aromas swirled together in the breeze, telling her more clearly than words, it’s a hot summer night in June and it’s rodeo time! Crossing her arms on a fence rail and laying her chin on her wrist, Kate leaned into the tall, blue steel posts and rails surrounding the wide arena. Closing her eyes, she let the soft wind bring the memories. Soon she was holding Lady’s reins and balancing with the horse’s powerful body as they rounded the barrels and made the dirt fly.
“Sometimes I feel like I’m only half a person without you, Lady Bug.”
Blake heard the muffled statement and his heart cried with Kate. He’d been sitting in the truck watching her. He’d smiled as she walked by the cowboys and cowgirls getting ready for the night and their various greetings. He’d laughed when he saw the young girl jump up and down with excitement when she realized who Kate was. He’d begun to believe that coming tonight was a good idea. Now, he wasn’t so sure seeing tears slip from beneath Kate’s closed eyes and flow down her cheeks.
“Hey, darlin’.” Blake leaned against the railing beside her.
Kate opened her eyes and looked at Blake. His eyes fiercely held hers. She desperately wanted to be the way she used to be. The last time he’d looked at her with that look was the last time he’d kissed her. Really kissed her, not the little ones he gave her every day now, but really kissed her. She remembered how he’d grabbed her off the ground and how her body felt crushed against his. How his lips had been hot and wanting. How she’d felt needed and womanly and perfect. Now she felt wounded and empty. The tears kept falling.
Blake reached to brush them away. Her hands closed over his as he smoothed his fingers across her face, catching her tears. Her warmth traveled through his body. God she’s beautiful, he thought. The sunlight streamed through her hair, setting it afire. Her green eyes, though filled with tears, held passion. He so wanted to gather her to him and kiss away the fear, the pain and sadness. He wanted to make her forget that there was ever anything, but him.
“Do you want to go home?”
“No, Blake.” I want you. Kate’s eyes pleaded with him. Can’t you see? I want you?
He studied her for a moment trying to figure out what she was thinking. What she meant by the tone in her voice. But decided that what he saw in her eyes couldn’t be there. Wouldn’t be. So he linked his fingers with hers. “Let’s go find the girls then.”
The girls were sitting in the middle of the grandstands, directly in front of the bucking chutes. They weren’t hard to see. Most all of the other spectators had cowboy hats, jeans, button up shirts and boots on. But the girls wore sandals, shorts and t-shirts. As Blake and Kate got closer, they could hear them laughing.
“Hey, guys, look at that.” Nichole pointed toward Blake and Kate.
“Holy shit,” Erin muttered. “They’re holding hands.”
“I think it’s sweet,” Ranae said, munching up a piece of popcorn.
“Yeah, you would. Miss romance. Barf, barf.” Erin smiled.
Nichole nodded. Seeing Blake with Kate was sweet. But it was more, too. It was the way it was supposed to be. If any two people were supposed to be together, it was Blake and Kate.
“I’m glad to see it.” Nichole grabbed some of Ranae’s popcorn.
“Hey! I paid for that.” Ranae snatched back the bag.
“You know we all can get a bag,” Blake teased as he and Kate walked up.
“Well, look who’s just in time to wait a half an hour before the rodeo begins.” Erin looked at her watch. “You’re going to have to tell me again why the hell we came so early.”
“To get the best seats.” Kate sat down beside Ranae and dug into the popcorn.
“Geez. Does this say free or what.” Ranae smiled and hugged Kate. “You look good,” she whispered.
“Thanks.” Kate felt much better.
As the grand entry left the arena, they all stood. One big black horse remained with a rider who held a huge American flag. It whipped in the sharp breeze of the evening. As a strong, clear-voiced girl began to sing the National Anthem, Blake remembered his and Kate’s first real rodeo. Sure they’d competed in high school rodeos and the local amateur ones as well, but this one was the first big one. They both had their professional rodeo cards tucked inside their pocket, filling it and their hearts with gold buckle dreams. That competition was in the arena that stretched out before him.
In his mind he could see himself as he stood, hat over his heart, with his boots hooked in the bars of the chute above the back of his ride. He could feel Kate’s good luck kiss drying in the breeze of the evening. While he waited for the anthem to be done and the rodeo to begin, he thought of the greatest honor in his life, that he could slip on his riding glove, press his hand into his riggin’ and come together with a beautiful, powerful animal.
Horse and rider each had a job to do, one they both loved. The horse got to explode into an arena filled with dirt and sky. The rider got to feel an unparalleled sense of freedom as the horse made that first jump out of the chute. For eight seconds he got to be the man he’d heard about in songs, the man who’d won the west, the man who was the pride of a country. For those few seconds he got to live every little boy’s dream. And it didn’t matter
that during those seconds his back was wrenched, his arm yanked or his head battered. All that mattered was when he heard the buzzer, he was that man — the American Cowboy.
In memory, those lofty thoughts disappeared when the chute boss hollered, “Spencer, you’re up!”
Nodding, Blake shimmied down in the chute next to the buckskin mare. “Well, old girl, how about giving this cowboy a break.”
“Not damn likely,” came a voice from the edge of the chute.
Blake had looked up to see a face he’d seen in every professional rodeo magazine for the previous couple of years. The man with a kid’s grin, sooty gray eyes and a blazing green shirt was this year’s world champion bareback rider.
“A guy can hope,” Blake remembered smiling at one of his heroes.
“You’re gonna feel like the devil’s calling roll on that first jump. She won’t slow down either. She’ll go to the right first damn thing. If you stick with her, watch the fence. She likes to plant cowboys for a hobby.”
Blake recalled how the fear that started out as a little ball of annoyance in the pit of his stomach grew. He’d drawn the horse maybe five guys had managed to ride that year. Pulling his fingers on his left hand through the grip of his riggin’ and squeezing his body as close to it as possible, Blake fought the fear. Rosin sticking, hand tight Blake raised his feet above the horse’s shoulders and laid his back against the body of his ride. He felt the heat. Smelled dirt and horse mix with his own sweat. Blake nodded and said, “Outside!”
The chute gate slammed open.
For a second that seemed to last an eternity, nothing happened. But all the silence was just the build up for the explosion. The anxiety wound so tight in Blake’s arm and back and body when the horse did make that first jump, he was ready. Snorting, rearing the mare barreled out of the chute with all the strength of a cannon. Her excitement was contagious. It flowed up Blake’s arm and thrilled his whole body into motion. This was the part she loved. She could fling that man who thought he could hold on with just one hand to dirt anytime she pleased. And that was the plan, she just wanted to have fun for a bit. Breathing the air, kicking the sky she bucked and twisted in the dust.
Blake could see the ground, the clouds, the stands, his boots, his chaps. But he had no idea if the mare had jumped to the right, to the left or to the moon. All he knew was that he had a firm grip and that his legs were still moving. Every leap the mare took yanked his arm and lashed his head. He felt beaten, pulverized. He felt free, alive. Dimly, he heard the buzzer and the cheering crowd, and he let go.
Gathering himself out of the dirt, waiving to the crowd and walking back to the chutes was the proudest moment of his life. The gold buckle that had graced his belt at the end of that year and the handshake he received from the man with a kid’s grin, saying, “Congratulations Champ,” almost compared.
The last strain of the National Anthem and the crowd’s cheering brought Blake back to the present. He looked over at Kate. She was watching him. She knew what he’d been thinking. Smiling, she squeezed his hand a little tighter.
Pulling her program from the seat behind her, Kate sat down. She glanced at the cover and the world went blurry.
Blood red letters defiled the picture of the barrel racer on the cover. “Are you dreaming, Kate?” it read.
He was back.
CHAPTER 13
“Darlin’, look at that rodeo clown, he’s — ” Blake looked at Kate. His heart pounded when he saw the terrified look on her face. He knew in a second what the cause of it was. He grabbed the program out of her hand. “Where did you get this? Kate!”
Too panicked to hear him, she didn’t answer.
“Mister, what’d she win?” A voice asked.
Blake glanced over his shoulder to the girl with shiny silver braces behind him. “What?”
“What’d she win?”
“Nothing.” Blake turned back to Kate. “Where did you get this?”
“A man traded with her. Said he had to go, but that he had a winning program. He said he wanted someone to win since he wasn’t — ”
“What’d you say? What man?”
“The man who traded programs.” The girl rolled her eyes.
“Which way did he go? What’d he look like?”
“He left.” She pointed to the bottom of the grand stands. “He looked like a surfer from California. Probably decided he didn’t like the rodeo. He was wearing sandals like some weirdo.”
“It was Luke,” Kate said trying to keep her voice from shaking. “I know it was.”
“He didn’t tell me his name.” The girls stuffed a large wad of cotton candy in her mouth. “So what’d you win?”
“Where you from?” Blake asked.
“Montana.”
“Where’s your family?”
“My dad’s Chris Bauer. He’s in the rodeo tonight.” The girl’s eyes lit with pride.
“Blake, I called Chief Barrs. He’s on his way to the station now. We’d better go.” Nichole said.
“Right.” Blake helped Kate to her feet then turned to the girl. “You find your father or friends he trusts to look after you when he rides and stay with them. Tell him not to let you out of his sight, you hear me?” He pointed an imperious finger toward the rodeo arena.
The girl rolled her eyes at him. “I can take care of myself.”
“No,” Blake assured her. “This time you can’t.” He waited for her to go.
She stared at him rebelliously for another moment before stepping up to make her way out of the stands. “Grown-ups are stupid,” she muttered. But when the bronc chute swung open, she smiled and hurried off to get closer view of her hero’s — her dad’s — ride.
• • •
Kate had never been inside a police station before. The cold, white walls and orange chairs bolted to the concrete floor were not exactly what she’d expected. Cigarette smoke residue, stale coffee and the cinnamon gum Chief Barrs was chewing filled her nose.
“I sent a patrol to the rodeo to search for the guy you described. But — ”
“But you don’t think you’ll find him.” Blake scrubbed his face with his hands.
“No. We’ll find him. It’ll just take time. I suggest Kate go to Oregon as soon as possible.”
“She and Blake are going next weekend,” Nichole said from her seat next to Kate.
“Maybe you can leave earlier. I think we’d all feel better if you were out of Colorado.”
“Should she fly? That’s faster.” Ranae stood.
Barrs hunched a shoulder. “I don’t really know if ‘faster’ is best in this instance. We don’t know what sort of connections Luke has. If he has the kind I think he might, he’ll be able to search the passenger lists for your name. In that case, keeping him off balance by getting there another way might be best.”
“Okay,” Kate said. She couldn’t think right now. Whatever they decided was good as long as it kept everyone out of harm’s way.
“Maybe I could see if my brother could fly in from Chicago. He’s a big shot with an airplane,” Erin said.
“I don’t want you to do that.” Kate shook her head.
“Does Luke know about your mom? Did you ever mention her to him?” Barrs asked.
“No.” Kate shook her head. Then she blanched. “Wait, oh God, yes. Mom. I told him she’s sick — ” Kate jumped out of her chair. “She’s all alone! I forgot that we talked about her — about visiting her.” She raised frightened eyes first to Barrs then to Blake. “I never even thought about it. What if something happens to her?”
“Darlin’, hold on.” Blake grabbed a hold of her hand. He cursed Luke when she flinched. “She has a neighbor lady who goes over once a day, right?”
Anguish filled Kate’s voice. “But that’s not good enough. Can’t the c
ops out there do something?”
“Of course we’ll contact them,” Barrs assured her at the same time that Blake said, “Your mom’s neighbor is a private investigator with a background in protection work.”
“She’s like a bodyguard?”
“That’s what I hired her for.”
“You hired her?” Kate stumbled.
“Yes.” Blake was relieved to see the frantic emotion leave Kate’s eyes.
“I don’t know what to say.” She had no idea that Blake would even think of such a thing, much less do it. She was angry at herself for not thinking of it. She’d just been so busy trying to get through the last few months without worrying her mother that the idea of Luke going after her mother to get to her hadn’t entered her head.
“Say thanks.” Blake smiled.
“Thanks, Blake.” Kate smiled uncertainly at him, but at the edge of her mind she wondered why he hadn’t discussed it with her. She’d naïvely allowed Luke to use similar tactics — assumption, arrogance, and confidence — to sway her into going out with him in the first place. To suddenly understand that Blake used the same tactics on her, too, was discomfiting.
“Well you guys have a lot of work to do. I’m going to take this over to forensics.” Barrs picked up the clear plastic bag containing the rodeo program. “I hope this will give us more than the other messages did,” he said as the door shut behind him.
More of that discomfiting wariness washed over Kate. She backed away from Blake. “What other messages?”
Damn. He should have told her — should have realized that wanting to protect her from the knowledge that Luke was still hunting her, and had been since the night Blake thwarted his attack, was a really bad idea. He pursed his lips, already anticipating the fight. “There was note a left outside the apartment the night you were in the emergency room and then a rose was left in the same spot the day of graduation.”
The Wanting Heart Page 10