“I’ll be with you any time I can be,” Kate promised both her mother and herself. “I’m excited to be the teacher I always wanted to be. I’m glad that I get to share this with you.
“Me, too. You already have a ton of mail.”
“Really?” Kate heard the uncertainty that crept into her voice. If that bastard Luke had found and sent notes to her mother...!
“What’s the matter?”
“I was nervous,” Kate blurted, not quite lying. Surely her mother’s bodyguard would have noticed if anything was amiss with the mail. “I didn’t know how this would go. Still don’t, but I do feel better. I’m glad you aren’t upset that I decided to stay and finish school and to rodeo in Colorado instead of coming to Oregon with you.”
“Upset? Why would I be upset? We discussed it. You were where I wanted you to be. You were living your life and fulfilling part of your dreams, just like I taught you. I’m more proud of you because you did stay than if you’d have felt like you needed me and came here. I was the one who needed help, but I wouldn’t have let you. I wanted you to live your life. I’ve lived mine and had to live with the choices I made. Some of those choices have brought me you, but some of them weren’t so good. But I wouldn’t change them. I love you for how brave you are.”
“I don’t feel brave at all. I feel scared and unsure about all of this. You would think I’d have gotten used to change by now with everything that’s happened, but this is still pretty scary. I wanted to help you so badly. I felt like I hadn’t done what I was supposed to do because I didn’t come with you. I felt like I was doing what you would have wanted me to do if you were well and could say that you wanted me to finish school in Colorado. Living my life was important to me too, because I thought it would make you proud.” Kate smiled at her mom who was now sitting up on the couch.
“Of course it does. I love you and can hardly wait to see your classroom and meet your kids. Wonder if they’ll like an old blind lady?” Maggie was smiling.
“Of course they will. I’ll make certain of it, because to me you aren’t an old blind lady. You’re my beautiful mom.”
“We should call in Sally. I’m sure she’s out there someplace. She’s probably starving and sick of standing outside.
“Okay.”
Returning to the house after getting Sally, Kate noticed all the little touches that her mom had done to make her arrival feel like a homecoming. The voice of her favorite country music singer filled the background. A long span of plush blue carpet was sprinkled with little green and silver graduation hats. Green and silver balloons hugged the kitchen ceiling while banners hung from it. One banner said Happy Graduation and the other one said Welcome Home. More confetti was sprinkled on the kitchen linoleum. The table held a chocolate frosted cake that Kate knew would be yellow inside. A huge bowl of potato salad sat beside it and thickly sliced watermelon lined a platter. Kate could also smell barbequed chicken being kept warm in the oven along with the corn on the cob. Plates were set out with silverware on the counter. Napkins were folded nicely.
“Wow! I can’t believe I missed all of this when I came through!” Kate shook her head.
“Maggie said your college colors were green and white, but all I could find was the silver,” smiled Sally as they all sat down at the table.
“I made the potato salad just like you like it. Extra eggs and very little pickles,” added Maggie.
“I love it. Thank you so much.”
“We made up the extra room for you. You know you can stay here,” Maggie said as she passed the plate of chicken.
“I know I can. But — ” Kate swallowed, unsure of how much her mother knew about what had happened beyond Lady Bug’s untimely death. The urge to protect Maggie from everything that had happened cut deep. “I really want to have a place of my own. I don’t know. I guess I feel like I need to take this next step on my own.” She looked at her mom. She didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but she was sure she probably had. What she saw surprised her.
Maggie was smiling. “Dolly, I know you want to do this. But I’m your mother. I still have a right to hope, don’t I? And besides I’m proud of you for taking such a big step.”
“Thanks.” Kate took a bite of her chicken and realized she was definitely hungry.
“Sounds good.” Across from Kate, Sally filled her fork with potato salad and made a mental note to call Blake and tell him that Kate wouldn’t be living in Maggie’s spare bedroom.
CHAPTER 15
“I need a few more days before I can leave here,” Blake told Ranae and Erin unhappily as they sat over beers at The Pub. “I can’t leave without someone acting as foreman at our place while we’re gone.” He shoved his hands through his hair in frustration. “I’ve got someone to step in, but he needs to get things squared away on his end. Even for this, I can’t leave my grandparents without help.”
“The police near Kate’s mom have been notified about the threats, right?” Erin asked. “And you said her mom has a bodyguard looking after her.”
“Yeah, but Sally can’t be in two places at once if Kate finds a place of her own.” Worry colored everything he saw and did. “The police can try to keep track of things, too, but … ” His lips twisted. “It’s not the same as having somebody with her every step.”
Erin looked at Ranae who hunched into her shoulders. “Maybe one of us can get out there first … ”
“No,” Blake said harshly. “No. No one’s going it alone anymore. Everyone needs to stay together for the sake of safety.”
Ranae put a placating hand on his arm. “You said ‘we’re’ before,” she said quietly. “Does that mean you want us to go with you?”
“I think Kate will deal with me better if you are along, to act as a buffer,” Blake said, not knowing how mad Kate might be still. “Plus, if you’re all together and with me, no one needs to worry about anyone else.” Another baffled swipe through his hair. “And we need to call Nichole. When’d she go home anyway?”
“Yesterday morning. I talked to her as soon as she landed and she’s supposed to call tonight when she gets home from work,” Erin said.
Blake nodded, looked at the wood paneled walls and the signs scattered around, he thought about how much Kate had loved this place. She’d loved the little Irish pictures and the Irish toasts and sayings. His gaze roved from the flashing sign that read Killian’s Red, to the giant placard that advertised Guinness, to the tall open rafters in the ceiling. He glanced from table to table to see if there was anyone he knew, in part because Luke was never very far from his thoughts. If he could get his hands on the sonofabitch, it would be over and they could all stop worrying.
During the five days since Kate left, all he’d done was worry. He went from one thing he needed to do to another, wishing like hell that the moment where he could go after her would just get here already. Right now he was trying to pass the time as he waited for the waitress to bring the food he and the girls had ordered. He wasn’t really hungry, but he needed to get away from the ranch, and he needed to talk to Erin and Ranae.
Mostly, he needed to go to Oregon as soon as possible.
“I think we’ll leave the day after tomorrow.” Blake leaned forward in his chair. That would leave his grandparents maybe a day without someone looking after things for them.
“Okay.” Ranae nodded and took a drink of her iced tea. “I need to go in to work tomorrow for some orientation, but they don’t want me to actually start for another three weeks. I can stay that long in Oregon.”
“I’m not sure how long I can stay. But I’ll just tell my boss I have to go.” Erin smiled. “And since my boss is my mom, she has to let me.”
“Good.” Blake leaned back so the waitress could set their food down.
“Yeah.” Erin stuffed a French fry into her mouth. “I’ll tell Nichole tonight about the pla
ns. She’ll probably want to meet us there.”
• • •
“I have a job!” Kate laughed aloud as she shifted her car into neutral at the railroad crossing.
She couldn’t believe how quickly things had come together since her arrival at her mother’s. She’d found an adorable, furnished one bedroom house close to Maggie’s. A brisk fifteen minute walk could get her there easily. The phone was hooked up, the satellite TV was installed and even the Internet worked. She’d have access to her friends again. Kate smiled as she waited for the red flashing light to turn to green. Two trains had already roared past, but the light was still blinking.
She shifted into first and let out the clutch when she saw the light turn green. The car sputtered ahead a few feet and died.
“Damn car,” Kate said. “First thing I’m going to do when I get my first paycheck is get you fixed.” She turned the key and smiled when the little engine rumbled to life.
After her interview with the principal of her new school, the drive home was a treat. She’d been too preoccupied before to notice the small winding road as it weaved its way into the tiny town of Rocky Fork, Oregon. The sun, just setting, painted the quaint white houses in a golden glow. A group of children played at the right hand side of the road. Older children on bicycles were giving the younger ones rides on the handlebars. She could hear their laughter even through the closed windows of her car. It gave her a twinge to see them so near the road, but the sun-washed afternoon seemed guarded against misfortune. No accidents would dare happen in such a light.
She followed the road as it meandered its way through the sleepy town, traveling back to Cottage Grove. A slim man in a waiter’s apron swept the walk of a small family restaurant that had obviously turned into a place for the local loggers to grab a drink or two after the sun went down. As she drove northward, Kate could tell that the town had been grand in its heyday. She could see where the park had been built up and added to for the many children that were expected to come and play. Sadly though, they hadn’t come to play nor had they ever seen the park. Their parents had never moved here. The paper mill where they were supposed to work, had been shut down. The town that was once booming now curled itself to sleep each night hoping for a better day tomorrow. A day that had a job for everyone. A day that heard the park fill with laughter.
At the end of a hidden side street stood a house that reached up to touch the sky. Kate suppressed the urge to stop and look with thoughts of going home and calling Ranae, Erin and Nichole. She wanted to tell them about her job and ask them if they’d received the gifts she’d sent.
Pulling into her long, narrow drive, Kate wasn’t surprised to see Sally. Her mother’s bodyguard came by every afternoon about the same time. She always had an excuse like, “cookies from your mom” or “Maggie just wanted me to run over and ask you to dinner.” Kate smiled, wondering what tonight’s excuse would be.
“Hey, Sally!” Kate called as she shut the door of her car.
“Hey, yourself.” Sally grinned. “Maggie sent me over to see how your interview went.”
Well at least the excuse is valid. “It went great,” Kate said as she walked into the house. Knowing that Sally would follow, she left the door open.
“I still can’t believe how fast everything worked out for you.”
“I’m sure I had help.” Kate winked at Sally. “I’m sure Mom knew I wouldn’t stay with her so she scouted this out for me.”
“How’d you know?”
“I’ve known her a long time.” Kate grinned. “She knew just what I would want and she found it. Then pushed me in that direction.”
“Does that make you mad?”
“Used to. I used to get really upset when she’d go around nudging me this way and that. But then I realized that she was just trying help me get what I really wanted even if I didn’t know it yet.”
“I know what you mean.” Sally looked over Kate’s bookshelf.
“Do you think she knows about you?”
“Being her bodyguard? No. But I think she suspects something. That’s why she looked so hard to find a place for you close by.” Sally’s lips quirked sideways. “She wanted you close, of course, but she’s got more than a bit of insight, too.”
“I don’t want her to worry.” Kate frowned. “I’m fine. In fact you can tell her that I got a job, and that I’ll be over tomorrow, she can fix me lunch and I’ll tell her all about it. Or I can call her.”
“No way. I don’t want to go back empty handed. I’ll tell her what you said, but you could call her and say you want strawberry shortcake for dessert tomorrow night. I love that.” Sally smiled a toothy grin and flipped a book off the shelf. “Hey, can I borrow this? I haven’t read it yet.”
“Sure,” Kate said, wondering if Sally was going to put some sort of surveillance device in it or if she was truly going to read it.
“See ya tomorrow.” Sally waved. “And don’t forget about the strawberries.”
• • •
“Couldn’t have picked a better spot,” Luke said aloud as he settled on a fallen log. Surrounding him was a small grove of cottonwoods relaxing in the coming dusk. The old trees knew what to expect from a Colorado summer. Even though today was sunny and warm, the evening could be chilly. It could a beautiful morning, hot with the sun, but by afternoon a thunderstorm could roll over the mountains and turn the air to freezing. Just beyond the grove to the west was the river, flowing strong and muddy with run-off. That was a sure sign for those old trees. Real summer wasn’t very far off so they continued to let their limbs grow and their leaves green.
Nestled across the road from the woods was a small, cozy house. Sitting pretty with its white fence, white trim and brightening windows from the setting sun, it waited for its new owner to come home.
He sat waiting for the same person. Pulling an apple from his pocket and a slate handled knife with silver flecks, he sliced the red skin, enjoying how the apple bled as the blade pushed through the flesh to the core. Making another slice, the piece was free to be eaten. He stabbed the blade deep into the piece, tilted the shining edge toward the sky and toasted, “I owe you a red rose.” Then he smiled. His face was darker than before, his hair longer, but his smile was still the same. “This is a perfect place to get your attention, Kate.”
He wanted to surprise her. When the time was right, he would wait for her again, too. She would bleed for him. Again. She would fight. Again. She would strike out with everything she had, but she would still fall beneath him with her red hair spread, blood seeping from her body. God, he loved thinking about it. About how her warmth would surround him as he raged and pounded into her. She would thrash and scream his name. Until she died staring up into his eyes. Staring forever, dreaming only of him.
Oh, yes he wanted it to be a surprise — for all of them. Tonight was just an attention getter.
And Kate would live, but someone would die. Luke was pretty pissed that he couldn’t be there to see the death. “But I have to be patient,” he gave himself a pep talk. “The house will blow, and that Ranae bitch will die. Kate will know I’m thinking of her. I won’t get to see Kate’s face. I won’t get to see Ranae’s face either, but I know what it will look like.”
The explosion will be hot enough to burn her eyes together, sear her flesh to the bone. Her hair will be in tufts of black singe. Her face will look exactly like my mom and dad’s faces the night I killed them. Luke nodded to himself, “Yes, I even know the smell.”
Luke was transported back to that night. The night when he was twelve and supposed to be staying at a friend’s house. But, that night he’d killed his father. He killed him because he beat his mother. He killed her because she was a dumb bitch and didn’t fight back. He’d pleaded with her, screamed when his dad hit her, tried to fight him. She did nothing.
“She never loved me
like I loved her,” he moaned.
His mother’s beautiful face swam before him. Bruises showed beneath the make-up. Sunglasses hid the pain. Anger in his heart raged until he saw another face. Kate’s. Her laughter could be heard, her strength felt. Her eyes replaced his mother’s. Kate’s face — clear of bruising — filtered over his mother’s until the faces were the same. Feeling a sudden cold, Luke pulled his jacket to his body and trembled with the tears until his eyes dried and then fell to a fitful sleep of his mother screaming, Kate screaming, him screaming.
Yes, Kate would live, but someone had to die.
Her roommate Ranae would do.
CHAPTER 16
“I love my little house,” Ranae sang as she pulled into the drive just as the sun was setting. “I think I’m going to get a dog or a cat or something to keep me company besides this darn paperwork I have to do.” Ranae set her overflowing bag on the kitchen table and moved to open her mail. She saw several packages, including one with an illegible return address, but spying a small box with Kate’s handwriting on it, she grabbed it first. She dug in a drawer for her sharpest knife, the one with a slate handle and silver flecks to cut the tape, but couldn’t find it. So she tore at the tough cardboard and laughed out loud when she saw Kate’s gift. 50 Gourmet Meals for One. “Only Kate would see a book as the solution for anything.” Ranae picked up the phone to call the number Kate had included on the inside of the book.
“Kate,” Ranae said when her friend answered.
“Yes.” Kate laughed. “I was just about to call you. Did you get my gift?”
“I just love the look of the recipe on page 25. It’s Rabbit Stew for One.” Ranae flipped through the book to laugh at another recipe. “How’s the job hunting?”
“Really good. In fact I just got home from an interview. They hired me right there on the spot.”
“Really? I mean of course they would. But wow. Really!”
The Wanting Heart Page 12