She bowed beneath him with the pleasure of sweet agony. Power, the true power of womanhood shot through her veins as she matched his longing with hers. She twisted with the euphoria of the moment.
He tugged and tore at her gown until it ripped aside showing her glistening body as wet as the morning mist. He groaned and dove with her.
Their lips, their teeth met in reckless need.
This wasn’t the gentle boy or the tempted girl from before. This was man and woman steeped in primal movement, drenched in sensation and glorying in it.
As the first shudder of painful ecstasy soared through her body, Kate screamed his name.
All he wanted was more. More of everything. He pushed her harder and faster. He wanted to keep her at that peak so he could join her. He wanted to keep the taste of her on his lips. Every time he felt her body tremor, he wanted her to do it again and again.
She could take no more and wanted him inside her. She opened and begged him to enter. He pulled her beneath him and saw her face, her tumbled hair in a blaze of burning steam. He plunged into the fire she offered. Scorching flames burned around them branding them both. Her as his. Him as hers.
“I’m never going to be able to move again.” Blake gently kissed Kate’s face and saw her smile. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He thought for first time that he might’ve.
“No.” She grinned. “Did I hurt you?”
“No.” Blake felt for the little box that sat on the bed stand. He wanted to do this now, in the new light of the morning. He wanted to see the sunrise in her eyes as he asked her. “Kate.” He paused and slipped the ring from the box. “I wanted this to be different. I wanted us to go back to that little town on the Kansas border where we met and spend the day walking and remembering. But I don’t want to wait anymore. I may have fallen in love with that girl, but it is this woman before me that my heart wants the most. Will you be my wife?”
“What?” Kate looked into his eyes and then at the beautiful diamond in his hand. Tears began to fall. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, darlin’.” He smiled and moved to put the ring on her finger, anxious to see it there.
“But I can’t marry you.”
“Why?”
“Because of Luke — ”
“To hell with Luke. I love you and I want you to be my wife!” Blake yelled. All the anger, fear and frustration he’d been feeling came out in every word he said.
“I can’t believe how stupid I was.” Kate stood and put on her robe.
“What do you mean?” Blake asked, feeling his heart crack.
“When Luke’s finished with me, he’ll kill everyone I love.” Kate pointed to the ring. “If I have that on my finger, he’ll find you. Do you think I want you dead, too?” Kate yelled back and wiped her tears.
“Come here.” Blake reached for her.
Kate shook her head. “No. This has just been a great dream. A dream that has to end.” She looked at him.
The desperate longing in her eyes tore at his heart.
“Blake, I want you to promise me something.”
“What?”
“I want you to promise that tonight when I come home from school, the girls will be gone and that you will be, too. I think Sally can take care of Mom, but I want you to take care of the girls.”
“I can’t do that. I can’t leave.” Blake grabbed a hold of Kate’s arms. “How can you even ask me to do it?”
“Because I love you.” Kate pushed him back. “Because I love them.” She ran out of the room, sobbing.
“Damn it, Kate!” Blake yelled.
• • •
Kate had just a few more things to pack up from her classroom and one last box to carry to her car. The kids had helped throughout the day. They laughed and teased and had a great time filling the trunk with her things. The two short weeks of summer school were over. She looked around her room one last time. The walls were bare, the counters washed and the final box was waiting on her desk. She felt like her life was over. She knew it was. It was everything she could do not to just sit in the corner and cry.
“Feeling just a bit sad?” questioned a voice from the doorway.
“Yes, a little.” Kate turned to face Coleen. “I loved my time here. The kids were great, the school, you were great. I’ll miss you.”
“Hey, you’ll see me in a month or so. August will be here before you know it.”
“Do you think I made a difference?” Do you think anyone will remember that I even was a teacher? I was only here for two weeks. Will they even remember my name by October?
“All teachers make a difference.” Coleen looked at Kate. The last day of any school was difficult, but she couldn’t figure out why Kate was being so sad. “But I think that you have touched many lives. You love what you teach. The kids see that. They also see that you are a bit of dreamer. That inspires them. They won’t forget you and will be glad to see you in the Fall, if you decide to come back.”
“Thank you.” Kate walked to hug Coleen. “I haven’t signed my contract, yet.” Kate didn’t want to feel committed to something she’d might never be able to do.
“I hope you will.” Coleen hugged back, feeling very proud that she was able to spend some of her life, teaching and learning from a girl like Kate. “Now, there are some others who want to say good bye.” Coleen stepped back and behind her was Kate’s entire class.
Kate smiled and tried hard not to cry. “Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen,” she said, using the greeting she always did.
“Hello, Miss White,” the class called back, the same they always did.
Then they laughed, all of them. I’m seeing the magic some teachers wait years to see, Kate thought as she circled through the group giving hugs and shaking hands of the older boys who didn’t believe in hugging a teacher, but then smiling all the more when they whipped their arms around her. “I love you, all,” Kate cried. “Oh, I will miss you!”
“We’ll miss you too,” they called back.
“But we’ll see you when school starts, won’t we?” Andrew called.
“Yeah, my mom’s excited that I know who Shakespeare is.” Ryan laughed.
Jessie twirled. “I get to wear my new dress on the first day of school. I want you to see it.”
“I’m going to spend a week with my grandma at the ocean, so I’ll have new shells to show you,” Candy said as she jumped up and down.
Kate laughed and laughed through all of the proclamations. Still surrounded by her students, she grabbed the last box to head out to the car. She didn’t want to stand and say good-bye to a place she’d only had for a short time. She didn’t want to focus on the misery she felt as she left. She just wanted to move on to tomorrow and get it over with.
“Oh, I’ll take that Miss White,” Andrew said as he held out his arms.
“Okay, thanks.” Kate handed him the box and patted his head as she had done many times before. Secretly, she had hoped that if she ever had a son, he would be as wonderful as Andrew. Kate fought back the tears that threatened. She’d never have a son.
“Well, it looks like they’re going to walk you out,” called Coleen who had come to stand in the doorway of her room.
“I guess so. I’ll send them back your way and on home when I get to the car.”
“Great, call if you need anything.”
Once outside, Andrew raced to the car parked in the shade near the edge of the teacher parking lot and put the box in the trunk. By the time Kate called to all the kids, telling them good-bye and to go home, Andrew was racing into Kate’s arms.
“I love you, Miss White,” Andrew whispered.
“Oh, honey, I love you, too.”
“You’re not coming back, are you?”
“I don’t know. But I’ll think o
f you all of the time. Remember that sketching paper I gave you?”
“Yes.”
“Well, whenever you write or draw on it, remember I’m thinking of you. Okay?”
“I will.”
Kate stepped back and saw tears in the little boy’s eyes. He was at the edge of childhood and had already had to deal with what it was to be a man. “You are stronger than you think. You’ll have a great future.” Kate tapped his nose with her finger.
“I don’t think it’s really fair.”
“What’s not fair?”
“That I have to lose two moms in the same lifetime.”
“You’re not losing me. I’ll be here for a while. Maybe you can come visit. There’s a rodeo coming up, maybe — ”
“Really. Do you think they’d let me ride a horse or a bull even?” The little boy was back and the tears were drying in the breeze.
“A horse definitely, but the bull — I don’t know what your dad thinks about that.”
“Oh, he won’t care. He wanted to be a bull rider before he had me. He might still. He’s young enough.”
Kate nodded thinking how sad it was for a man who was just a few years older than her to have to face raising a child alone. But she smiled as she reached for the car handle and watched as Andrew galloped around in a circle with his hand reaching for the sky like a bull rider would. Opening the door, she heard a voice.
“Hello, Kate.”
Kate glanced quickly at Andrew, who seemed to know instantly that something had changed and was running to her side.
“Andrew, I want to you go inside.”
“Okay.” He looked past her shoulder to see a man stab a knife through the red skin of an apple. It was the apple he had given Miss White. Andrew knew it because he could see the little heart note dangling from the stem. “Who’s that?”
“This is Luke. He’s a friend of mine. He came to meet me today.” Kate tried desperately to keep the fear from her voice.
“How come you’ve never mentioned him?”
“Well, I didn’t know he was coming. Honey, I want you to go back inside.” Kate tried to smile.
“Okay.” Andrew hugged her one last time. “I’ll see you at the rodeo,” he called, knowing exactly who he was going to go see once he was inside the school. He was going to go tell Mrs. O’Konel that there was a strange man in a suit sitting in Miss White’s car and that Miss White was scared. Then they were going to call the police. His father was the sheriff, and he would know what to do.
CHAPTER 25
“You never answered me, Kate. I said hello.”
“Hello, Luke.” Kate forced herself to answer. She had to force herself to look at him. In reality it had been a long time since she’d seen him. In her mind she saw him almost daily. Looking at him now was strange. She didn’t expect to see what she saw. In her memory he was a monster in a fine suit. The person sitting in the passenger seat of her car was a mere shadow. The suit he wore was elegant, but it draped from his shoulders. His face was a sweaty pale. The skin around his eyes was sunken and dark. As Kate looked, she almost felt sorry for him. His anger and rage had withered him. His eyes though, were the same: searching, hatred filled. Looking into to them, Kate shuddered.
“Did you miss me?”
Hearing his voice brought the memory of the night she had worked so hard to forget. Tears formed in her eyes as panic filled her. She had to beat it back. She had to blink away the fear. “How did you find me?”
“I remembered you talking about your mother living in Oregon. When you weren’t in Colorado any more, I thought I’d look here.”
“What do you want?
“I’ll tell it to you while you drive.”
“Where do you want to go?” Kate looked around trying to gauge whether she could run and how far she would get.
“Get in.”
“And if I don’t.”
“Do you see those kids?” Luke pointed the knife tip toward the playground.
“You will not hurt them. They have nothing to do with this.”
“Oh, yeah, we’ll see.” Luke twirled the blade in small circles on his finger. “They can die, too.”
“No,” Kate yelled and then cursed herself for her stupidity as her voice carried across the parking lot to the playground where some of her students were playing.
“Let’s see who’s first.” Luke’s laugh drifted threateningly outward as the students ran toward Kate.
“Go home. I’ll see you soon!” She yelled as she jumped into the car. “You will burn in hell if you hurt my kids.” Kate started her car and threw it into reverse. When she looked in the rearview mirror she saw the earrings Sally had pinned in her ears last night. Quickly, she pressed her left ear and waved to the kids. As she pulled out of the school parking lot away from them, leaving confused looks on their faces, she felt relieved that they hadn’t made it to the car.
“Always the protector aren’t you, Kate? But who’s going to protect you from me?”
“What do you want, Luke?” Kate’s mind was racing trying to think of ways to keep him talking. She needed time to think about how to get away from him and a way to let Sally know where she was. She needed to keep the fear she felt from taking over, because she didn’t know if Sally was even aware that she was needed.
“I want you. I want you dreaming of me.”
That statement had brought so much terror to Kate’s life. Her hands trembled with the fear of it. She felt like she was in her dream. But this was real. The pain would be real. The blood. The death. She didn’t know if she could escape this time.
“Do you know where the run down mill is out of town?” Luke asked.
“I think so.” Kate kept telling herself not to be afraid, but her body shook.
“Go there.”
“Why?”
“Didn’t you get my letter?” He was feeling better. She looked scared. But she’d still fight. It would be good.
“What letter?” asked Kate pretending she didn’t know what was going on. That would keep him asking questions at least and maybe he’d slip up.
“Stupid cops!”
Think, Kate. Think. She wanted to confuse him. Make him angry so she could get away. “I got one rose, months ago. I just assumed it was from my fiancé. I don’t think about you anymore.” Kate thought maybe that was too much. She glanced Luke’s way. His eyes held cold fury. She didn’t have any time to duck or even blink. Luke’s fist slammed into her face. Her head whipped back. Blood gushed from her nose.
The car swerved. Kate’s eyes stung with pain, but she held it together enough to right the car back to its own lane.
“Remember me now, you bitch?” Luke yelled.
Kate held her nose. Trying to stop the blood that cooled against her skin. “What do you have in mind?”
“Don’t you remember?”
“No, Luke, why don’t you tell me?” Kate was tired of the sick, scared feeling she’d had in the pit of her stomach for days. When she felt his fist slam into her and the hot blood spurt out, fear went away. It was replaced with a fury of her own. She wanted to fight now. “Tell me so I can remember what it was like. Did you miss me, Luke?” He had no right to do what he was doing. He had no right to take her life away. He was not going to, either.
“Luke, tell me how you got here?” Kate asked not sure where he’d gone.
“I came in a car.”
“Whose car?” Kate gripped the steering wheel. Her knuckles turned marble white.
“I don’t know her name.”
“Did you kill her, Luke?”
“Of course I did.” Luke laughed. “As if you have to ask. Her body is still warm with blood flowing from her veins in that mill up there.”
Kate saw the mill and the train tracks that cross
ed the road in front of them. Wide, tall brick buildings guarded the empty acreage around them. Silver sided sheds glinted in the sunlit afternoon. Trees grew, sad and overgrown at the edges. Her stomach clenched. This was her way home. This was her one chance. The light in front of her was flashing yellow, when it turned to red, Kate would drive across the tracks.
“Why did you do it?” Kate asked.
“She deserved it. Like you do.”
“Like your mom did.” Kate hoped Luke wouldn’t figure out what she was doing. For an instant, she thought he did when his knife made a slash up her leg slicing into her skin. Kate grimaced and sucked in a breath. She could wait. She would not let her fear win. He was crazy. She was going to use it. She drove her car across the first set of railroad tracks and stopped. One set of tracks went west the other went east. The first train from the east would come in the next few seconds. Then the train from the west would come. It would be loud. Kate knew.
She had to wait for them every day, unless she left early. Her car was sitting directly across the tracks from the west. There would be only a few moments of time for Kate to escape. If she could keep him talking, she could use those few precious moments.
“What did you do to your mom, Luke?”
“Exactly what she deserved. Just like your little friend. She died screaming in that fire.”
“No, she didn’t. She didn’t die in that fire.”
“What are you talking about, you bi — ” His words were drowned out by the blast of a train horn. The train whipped the car with the wind it created, passing within only a few feet.
Kate held her breath and looked quickly to the west. Here it comes. Just a bit longer. Just a bit. The seconds paused.
Luke swore, “Start the car, you bitch.” He held the knife to her throat.
She fumbled with the ignition. She turned the key, but it wouldn’t start. She’d stalled it, flooded it on purpose. All she was doing was killing seconds. Her heart pounded as she pumped the gas pedal and tried the key.
Tears stung her eyes. The girls were waiting. Her life waited — Blake waited. Kate took hold of the silver door handle. The cold of it didn’t register. She gripped it with her hand. She squeezed her eyes. Took a deep breath. All that she wished for flew through her mind, her own children learning to ride their first horse, white Christmases in Montana, barrel racing, rodeo, dancing with her husband — dancing with Blake. Kate opened her eyes. I have to live. The train got closer and closer. The huge locomotive grew. Its light blared. She could smell the stifling heat. Hear the bellowing horn.
The Wanting Heart Page 18