by Ariel Arnold
Back outside my apartment building once again, I wasn’t sure what to do. I looked at Ilya, reluctant to leave him and enter my home. He stood on the bottom step while I stood on the one above it. This actually put us on a little bit more of the same height range. He smiled at me as he swiped a stray piece of hair from in front of my eyes. “Go inside. You work the morning shift tomorrow and I’ll be right here with your coffee ready.”
I grinned and looked down, not wanting him to see just how happy that made me. I wasn’t sure how things would change because of that intense kiss. I was feeling a little awkward and self-conscious. I’d begun to doubt, thinking that now, for some reason, Ilya wouldn’t come around anymore, but he reassured me that he would. “Okay. See you in the morning.” I walked backwards up the last remaining steps, not willing to take my eyes off him yet.
Chapter Ten: Nana
“Where is your car?” I asked as I looked up and down the sidewalk, expecting it to be parked somewhere. Ilya stood where he always had for the last two weeks. He held out the same morning coffee in his hands and a slight smile on his face. I was coming to really love that feel of his, and that scared me. I didn't even want the two words to be in the same sentence, the same thought process. Ilya and love. I'd never been in love and I don't think it's supposed to happen this quickly. I definitely don’t think it's supposed to happen when you know so little about the other person. However, what I was feeling was something intense, something I didn't think I was ready for. But this feeling wasn't asking me if it could invade my heart. It kicked its way in and it's sitting firmly with no intent on leaving anytime soon.
His grey eyes lit up as he gestured for me to continue on my way down the stairs. I realized that I had stopped and was just staring at him. Embarrassed, I quickly descended the stairs. “I thought it would be nice to ride the subway today,” he said, watching me for my reaction. I shrugged, not caring either way. I didn't need to be carted around all over. I grabbed my coffee from him and smiled.
“Let's get a move on then, so I won't be late.” I slid my free arm into the crook of his and held on. Ilya chuckled and began walking in step with me.
My stomach was doing summersaults and gymnastics routines as we walked. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. Every little thing about him mesmerized me. I didn’t know if what we were doing was considered dating since I’d never actually dated anyone before, but I was pretty sure that we weren’t friends. Friends didn’t kiss friends, right? It was only the one kiss, but it was intense and perfect and just everything. I’d been wondering since that night if he’d ever do it again or if he regretted it. But if he did regret it, wouldn’t he start avoiding me? I was at a loss when it came to these things. It was at moments like this that I wished my sister was still here with me. We would be able to talk about relationship stuff with each other, decipher what a look from a guy meant, and why the hell Ilya hadn’t attempted to kiss me again?
Again, I wondered what was on his mind that night to make him so melancholy. It made me so much more curious about his life and what he did once he left me. I didn’t know anything and he knew everything, which was an unfair balance. I wanted to know just as much about him as he did about me. If the information I gained would make me fall for him even more. I was ready to give my heart to someone for the first time. Yeah, I was afraid, but there was something about Ilya that told me he was the one. The one I should begin this journey with.
“Hey, you,” Ilya said, pulling lightly on one of the short strands of my hair. “What’s got your mind so wrapped up that you aren’t talking or drinking your coffee?”
I shrugged and smiled his question off. There was no way I was about to tell him what was going on inside my mind. “Nothing.”
“Oh, it’s something. You’re usually a regular chatterbox. The only time you aren’t speaking is when you are chugging your coffee.”
“I do not chug my coffee,” I said in indignation.
He rolled his eyes at me. “Are we really going to debate about if you chug your coffee instead of what’s on your mind?”
I nodded. “Uh-huh. Sounds like a perfect plan to me.”
Ilya laughed and shook his head. “Sometimes I wonder about you, Nana Valencia.”
“Sometimes I do the same about you, Ilya. Whose last name I still don’t know,” I countered pointedly.
“Volstolv, my last name is Volstolv.”
“Ilya Volstolv.” It fit him, a strong and beautiful name.
All too soon we reached the doors of my precinct. “Do I really have to go to work?” I wondered out loud. I could afford to take a sick day. Make up some story about a mysterious stomach flu. “We should play hooky. Don’t go to work today and just spend time, the two of us,” I proposed, hopeful.
“No can do. I have stuff I have to attend to today that can’t be put off any longer.”
I pouted and batted my eyelashes as I looked up at his tall frame. “Please? It’ll be fun,” I promised.
Ilya reached out and cupped my face in his large palm. “Aww, sweetheart, don’t use that look on me. I can’t.”
This only served to make me pout more. Once I got an idea into my head and was sure it was a good one, I didn’t like to back down. I was determined to spend a full day with Ilya. I felt like we never had any time together, like he didn’t want to be seen out with me. Though I said it was like we were dating, we’d never actually been on a date. I don’t know if that one night counts. That seemed like more comfort for him than an actual real desire to go out somewhere with me for fun. The only time we spent together was when he came to bring me to work in the morning when he picked me up after and our nightly phone calls. I was starting to think the man was a vampire and couldn’t be in direct sunlight. “Please,” I said again.
He chuckled and removed his hand, but not before running a finger down my nose. “Get to work, Officer Valencia. What would the New York Police Department do without you?”
I scoffed, “They’d get along just fine. I’m a freaking traffic cop.”
“How about tonight we spend the whole night together at my place? Dinner, movie, the whole works,” he asked, searching my face for my answer. My heart sped up and I don’t think I was able to fully contain the wide silly grin that spread across my face as I bit my lip and nodded shyly. “So, that’s a yes?” he asked.
“Yes, definitely a yes.”
“Okay. I’ll meet you at your apartment after work. That’ll give me enough time to get everything ready.”
Now I really didn’t want to leave him, not after a promise like that. He’d opened up about himself this morning more than any other since I met him. I finally found out his last name and he actually invited me to his home. I got the feeling that he didn’t allow many people into that sacred space, so the fact that I got an invitation was making me feel very special. Like maybe I was a special person to him. He nudged me slightly. “Go on.”
I know I was acting like a brat, but I just couldn’t help myself. Ilya brought out a side of me that I never really knew was there. I grasped one corner of the leather jacket he wore and sighed. “Do I really have to?”
“What can I do to make you go to work like a good girl?” he asked.
“You’ll do anything?” I asked. He chuckled and took a step closer to me, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Anything, though I do warn you, we are standing in front of a police station. Even though I don’t mind being arrested for indecent exposure, if it’s with you,” he replied, his deep voice turning husky as we stared into each other’s eyes.
The moment was semi-broken by the sound of Ilya’s phone ringing. Without taking his eyes off me or widening the distance between us, he took out his cell and answered it. “Yeah, boss.” With a few words from Ilya’s boss, he looked away from me and took a step back, the expression on his face turning into a fearful one. “I’m on my way now. No less than twenty.” Once he hung up the phone, he looked at me regretfully. “I really have to go now.
Have a good day and I’ll see you tonight.” Without waiting for my reply, he strode off.
“Okay, tonight,” I mumbled to myself. Though I was upset that Ilya’s boss had ruined the moment, I was still on the happy cloud of bliss that engulfed me once Ilya invited me over to his place for an actual date tonight. I entered the precinct and proceeded to head for the locker room, when I was stopped by a hand grasping onto my arm, pulling me down the hall and away from the locker rooms. “What the hell are…” I started to say when I realized that it was Detective Callahan. “Sir, what’s going on?” I asked instead. He led me into one of the task rooms and closed the door behind us. His handsome face was one of shock and rage. He began to pace back and forth as I watched him wearily. What the hell was going on? I’d never seen Callahan acting this way before.
“I mean, I knew she was friendly with Yazmeen Jones, but this, this, I never expected it,” he mumbled to himself as he paced.
“Detective Callahan, what are you talking about? What is wrong?” I asked once again, getting fed up with being ignored and starting to worry that maybe something horrible had happened.
“That man that you were with outside, talking to you, touching you, do you even know who he is?” he asked me. I was stunned into silence. He was acting this way because of Ilya? Was he…? No, it couldn’t be that… he couldn’t be jealous. I nodded.
“Yes, I know who he is,” I answered, still not sure what was going on. Why was he having such a crazy reaction to seeing me and Ilya together?
“So, you’re saying that you have no problem dating Ilya ‘The Ghost’ Volstolv?”
The ghost? Ilya The Ghost? And how did Callahan know Ilya’s name? I didn’t tell him. “I’m confused,” I said honestly. “How do you know Ilya?”
Callahan laughed and shook his head before replying sardonically. “Everyone on the task force, hell, even the FBI and DEA know who Ilya Volstolv is. He’s just as important as Nikolai Prakenski.”
“Wait, I need to sit,” I said as I stumbled a little. I couldn’t understand why Callahan was mentioning Ilya’s name in the same sentence as that man. The boss of the Russian Mafia. Why would the FBI, DEA, and Callahan’s special task force know who Ilya was? I was starting to connect the dots, but I really didn’t want to. I didn’t want the logical explanations to invade my mind. I didn’t want all the perfect moments I’ve had with Ilya up until now to be clouded by this information.
“You really don’t know exactly who he is, do you?” Callahan asked, studying me. I shook my head no. “Then how did the two of you meet? I thought maybe Yazmeen Jones or Amanda Lacey introduced you to him.”
There he went again, mentioning Ilya in the same sentence as something I desperately didn’t want him to be involved in. “We met by accident. No one introduced us.”
“Does he ever ask you about work? Could he have approached you on purpose in hopes of making you an inside informant?”
I shook my head again. It felt like my throat was closing. I couldn’t swallow and I didn’t want to speak. “Why would he do that? I’m a traffic cop, Callahan. I don’t have access to anything but traffic reports,” I said a little frantically. “Who is he? Who is Ilya Volstolv really?”
Chapter Eleven: Nana
My stomach churned as I walked home, but this time for a whole different reason. It wasn’t the blissful happiness and anticipation of seeing Ilya again, but dread, worry, and most largely, disappointment. I stopped on the corner at the beginning of my street. It was a five-minute walk until I would have to face Ilya again. When I would have to look him in the eyes and see everything that I was told this afternoon reflected in them. I just wouldn’t be able to look at him the same.
“He works for Nikolai Prakenski. He’s an enforcer, rumored hitman, and Nikolai’s right-hand man,” Callahan told me, watching for my reaction, probably trying to decipher if I was lying. If I really knew nothing about Ilya’s business and his life. Little did he know that stupid little ole me was so infatuated that I didn’t even care about these facts. Now look, look at the situation I’m in now. Disillusioned and dare I say… heartbroken? Callahan began interrogating me on Ilya. How long we’ve know each other? What had we talked about while together? Do I know anything at all he could have accidentally mentioned about the Bratva?
Then there was the waiting, the waiting as Callahan left the room and I sat there lost in thought.
I was ready to go all the way tonight. I was seriously thinking about having sex with Ilya. It was in the back of my mind and I tried to hide it well, even from myself, but the moment Ilya mentioned going over to his place tonight, it was one of the first things to come to mind. We’d be alone, at his place, and with the way I feel… felt, about him, I wouldn’t say no if that’s what he wanted. But now, I felt disgusted even thinking about it. He was nothing but a violent criminal and knowing that I had feelings for someone like that, that he could totally deceive me, pissed me off.
Callahan returned to the room with his partner O’Riely, the police captain, and another man I recognized coming and going for the task force meetings, but that I didn’t know by name. “Officer Valencia, this is Special Agent Angel Ramirez,” Callahan said, introducing me to the unknown man.
“Nice to meet you,” he said politely, his hazel eyes taking in everything about me. “So, why don’t you tell us everything you know about Ilya Volstolv.”
I repeated the story of the night I’d met Ilya and every encounter and what we’d talked about since, even including the movie date night scheduled for later.
The four men looked at each other and three out of the four had excited and hopeful looks on their faces while Callahan looked worried. “This could be the break we’ve been needing,” Ramirez said, addressing the captain. “We’ve got someone who already has an in, a direct line to an important ranking member of the Bratva.”
“So, what do you suppose we do? Send officer Valencia in undercover? That’s too dangerous!” Callahan protested.
“She doesn’t have to be undercover, she just has to be herself. Ilya already knows who she is, what she does, and everything else about her, yet he’s still interested. He must like her and we can use that to our advantage,” Ramirez countered.
“But she’ll be trying to gather information, doing things that if caught, Ilya wouldn’t hesitate to kill her no matter how much he likes the way she looks,” Callahan said angrily, taking a step forward.
“She’s an officer, this is her job. She knew the risk,” Ramirez said blasely. He turned his gaze on me, drilling me with a look that was effectively supposed to make me feel like less of an officer if I didn’t say yes, I could do this.
“She is a rookie officer. She deals with traffic, not highly trained, highly dangerous and violent Russian gang members! I won’t have any of my people getting hurt on this case,” Callahan said determinedly.
“Well, it seems she does deal with Russian gang members since she’s been shacking up with one for weeks now,” O’Riely said, earning him a glare from his partner. “She’s close friends with Yazmeen Jones, the girlfriend of Aleksandr Prakenski, the cousin of Nikolai Prakenski,” he said, holding up one finger. “She’s also friends with Amanda Lacey, the fiancé of Nikolai Prakenski, the goddamn boss of the Bratva,” he continued, putting up another finger. “And finally, she has a romantic relationship with Ilya Volstolv, the right-hand man of Nikolai. Who else would be able to do this job as well as she can?”
As much as I seriously despised O’Riely, he was right. How did it come to this? How did I unknowingly surround myself with the Russian mob and their significant others?
“So, it’s settled,” the captain said when everyone in the room remained silent after O’Riely had finished speaking. “Officer Valencia, you’ll report to Agent Ramirez and Detectives Callahan and O’Riely with whatever you find out about Ilya Volstolv, Nikolai Prakenski, and the Bratva.”
Glaring down the street, I felt like crying. This was all Ilya’s fault. How dare he sa
ve me that night, pretending like he was a good person. How dare he obviously have me investigated in order to know everything about me that second time we met. How dare he continue to keep coming around when he knew who I was and who he is. I kicked at the pavement, reluctant to go to my own home. I know I said that I would be able to do this, but really, I can’t. I can’t do this. I’m not a detective. I can’t fool anyone and search out clues. I don’t even know what I am supposed to be finding out. Obviously illegal activity on the part of Ilya and Nikolai in order to bring down the Bratva.
But most importantly, there was a part of me that wasn’t sure I would be able to deceive Ilya, that I even wanted to deceive him. Just this morning, I believed that I was in love with this man. Now only a short number of hours later, everything was different and I was on a mission to make Ilya fall in love with me so that I could put him in jail.
Shaking myself, I forced myself to walk, putting one foot in front of the other. As I got closer to my apartment building, I felt the intense urge to just turn around and run away. Run home to my parents, quit the police station and avoid Ilya and everyone who knew him for the rest of my life. I stopped in my tracks and stood helplessly in the middle of the sidewalk. I didn’t know what to do. I knew what the right thing to do was. I should continue putting one foot in front of the other. I should meet up with Ilya and pretend that nothing had changed. I should do my job by gathering information that could put many dangerous criminals away for the rest of their lives. I knew that’s what I should do, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do.
Once again, I had to force myself to start walking. I was committed to this job. I didn’t change my whole life plan to become an officer, only to quit and run away when presented with a tough situation. I could already see Ilya sitting on the steps of my building. He spotted me and stood, flashing me that half a smile he had down to a science. He wasn’t much for words, but he had looks that could say everything that he wanted them to without needing to speak the words out loud. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. I could hear him smelling the top of my hair where his face rested on my head. Without meaning to, my body tensed and I abruptly pulled away. Ilya frowned and looked at me in confusion as I breathed heavily. “I’m all sweaty and disgusting,” I said, my eyes wandering everywhere but at him. “I think I should take a shower and change quickly before we go to your place.”