“Arden,” he pleaded, his eyes filled with regret, “I would never hurt you.”
He isn’t Todd.
He isn’t Todd.
He isn’t Todd.
I chanted over and over again in my head, but it did nothing to erase my fear.
“Arden, I would never hurt you.” Hayes pleaded with me, trying to reach me through the dark place I had retreated to in my head. “What did he do to you?”
It was only then that I realized I was sobbing. I was sure the makeup that had been expertly applied to my face was now running in rivers down my chin.
I knew Hayes said something to Greg then, but I couldn’t hear him over the memories assaulting my mind.
Todd in my face.
His spit on my shirt.
His fist slamming into my stomach. My face. Everywhere.
Suddenly the car jerked to a stop and I fell from the seat, having forgotten to buckle my seatbelt.
“Stay put.” Greg turned around to glare at Hayes. “Let us push them back.”
Hayes nodded, looking down at me with shock and pity in his eyes.
I didn’t want him, or anyone, to pity me, but I knew I must be a pretty sad sight lying on the floor of the car.
“Will you let me touch you?” He asked, reaching his hand out to me.
He was giving me the power.
I could find the strength to reach out and take his hand or I could refuse and essentially let Todd win.
That’s all I’d been doing for years.
Letting him win.
I’d avoided men like wildfire, terrified that they’d treat me the same way he did.
Until Hayes.
For some reason, just like Mia, I’d trusted him from the moment I’d met him, and right now I needed to let go of my fears. They were crippling me. I didn’t want to lose out on things in life because I was scared.
Slowly I raised my hand, my fingers trembling, and sat my hand onto his open palm.
He swallowed thickly and let out a sigh of relief as his hand closed around mine.
“That’s my girl,” he murmured, helping me up and out of the car.
As soon as we were out of the vehicle the flashes of a hundred cameras blinded me and Hayes had to carry me inside the building.
When the little black dots from the flashes stopped swimming in front of my eyes I was surprised to see that we were at the building where his family’s penthouse was located.
“W-why are we here?” I stuttered as he guided me to the elevator.
“I didn’t think you were in much shape to go to a restaurant, Little Bird.”
In the elevator I leaned against the wall and he let me go, seeming to know that I needed the distance.
“Are you mad at me?” I asked and instantly regretted my words at his look of horror.
“Mad at you? Are you fucking crazy? Mad is the last thing I am.” He shook his head. “I’m…I don’t know what I am. Hurt, I guess. Hurt that you’d think I’d harm you, but more so that someone treated you so badly that that’s immediately where your thoughts went.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Fuck, Arden. The last thing I’d ever do is raise a hand against you.”
The elevator doors slid open and he waved his hand for me to exit first.
My feet only carried me as far as the couch before I collapsed. I was completely exhausted from the last fifteen or so minutes. It felt like so much longer. I guessed maybe it was. Todd’s torment hadn’t ended when he left me. I carried the physical and mental scars of what he did to me every single day of my life.
Hayes crouched down beside me, staring at me for a moment. I’d never seen someone look so tormented and worried before. I hated that I’d freaked out, therefore putting that look in his eyes, but my reaction had been uncontrollable.
He reached out tentatively and stroked his fingers against my forehead and then into my hair.
“Tell me, Arden.” He pleaded with me. “Tell me everything. I need to know.”
My throat closed up and I shook my head. “I can’t.” Tears stung my eyes.
He pulled his lip between his teeth, seeming torn between begging me for answers and letting it go.
“Please, baby, you have to. I need to understand so that I never, never,” he reiterated, “make you feel that way again.”
I squished my eyes closed, a single tear escaping and sliding down my cheek.
I felt his finger touch my skin hesitantly and the tear disappeared.
“I never want you to cry because of me. Not unless it’s happy tears.”
I sat up then and wrapped my arms around his shoulder, burying my head into the crook of his neck. My tears dampened his shirt but he never pulled away. Instead he held me tighter. It was like he was trying to remind me silently that he wasn’t going to let me go.
My whole body shook and his hold on me tightened. Not in a constricting way, but like he was trying to hold me together.
“Why do you want to know this?” My voice was muffled against his neck.
He didn’t say anything and I thought maybe he hadn’t heard me, but then he spoke and each word was said carefully. “Because, I want to know everything about you. No one’s life is all rainbows and sunshine. There’s going to be good and bad. And fuck it, Arden, I want all your good moments and the bad ones too. I want to help you bear the burden of your past so that you don’t have to do it alone.”
This man.
This crazy, perfect, silly man was too good to me.
“Why are you so perfect?” I asked him.
He disentangled himself from my arms and took my face between his large hands. “I’m not perfect. Nobody is perfect. Get that notion out of your head now. I’m going to mess up and make mistakes, like back in the car,” his fingers flexed and the muscle in his jaw jumped, “but I will always do my best to fix them.”
I inhaled a shaky breath and confessed, “I don’t want you to think differently of me. That I’m weak.”
“Fuck,” he growled, “you’re the strongest woman I know. I could never think you were weak.”
He sat down on the couch beside me and pulled me onto his lap so that I was straddling him.
Holding my chin captive, he said, “Bravery comes from the most dire of situations and I think we both know you’ve proven how brave you are.”
My tears only fell harder at his beautiful words.
I knew I needed to tell him about Todd, about how horrible he’d been, but opening myself up like that was going to be difficult. Maybe even the hardest thing I’d ever done. I’d kept so many of the awful things he’d done to me a secret. Heck, even my parent’s didn’t know all the details. No one did. I’d buried everything deep down inside me, suppressing it so that I could make it through each and every day without suffocating.
“Todd had always been quick to anger…you know, the kind of person who would be grinning from ear to ear one second and spitting mad the next. But he never, not once had laid a hand against me. It was usually other guys that pissed him off. They’d say something stupid or look at me for too long and it would set him off.”
I inhaled a shaky breath, my hands quaking against his shoulders.
“When he asked me to marry him I was so, naively, thrilled.” I laughed self-deprecatingly. “Things were good…for a while. Then they started changing. Slowly at first. He’d yell at me, a lot. But the yelling I could handle. The hateful things he’d call me…I could take it. And then one day he came home from work early and his dinner wasn’t ready—I mean, it’s not like the bastard called to let me know he’d be early or anything.” I chuckled, staring off into the distance—into a past that still seemed so much a part of my present and future. “That was the first time he hit me.” I whispered the words, hating to give voice to them. But Hayes was right. He needed to know. He deserved to know what he was dealing with. I was damaged goods after all.
I grasped the collar of his pressed white shirt between my fingers, rubbing my fingers around and aro
und on the fabric, like I could harvest strength from it to carry on with what I needed to say.
“That time it was just a slap on my cheek. It hurt, but the mark faded quickly. It was like it gave him a rush, though, some sick twisted sense of satisfaction for having physical power over me and from there it just escalated.” I pressed my lips together tightly, trying to hold in the sob that was so desperate to break free.
“Let it out, Arden.” He caressed my cheek with the most gentle of touches. “If you need to cry, or scream, throw something, whatever it is, do it.”
“Just hold me.”
He smoothed his fingers through my hair. “I think I can do that.”
I sobbed against his chest. The kind of sobs that shook your whole body and left you feeling exhausted, but it was past time that I let these emotions out.
It was hard to let my guard down and allow Hayes to see me like this, but I knew it was necessary for the both of us.
Minutes, or maybe it was hours, later I dried my tears on the back of my hands and opened my mouth to finish my tragic tale.
“The abuse lasted for years,” I confessed. “Someone on the outside might view me as weak for not having the guts to leave, but I was terrified. Completely scared out of my mind. The threats…I believed he’d make good on them if I left him. He was so violent there was no reason to doubt him. And then…” I squished my eyes closed. “And then I got pregnant. I kept it a secret for as long as I could. He didn’t want children and I was afraid of what he might do.” I bit down on my lip hard enough to taste blood. “But eventually I couldn’t hide it anymore and he found out. One day I came home from work and the house was eerily quiet. There was a stillness in it and it seemed…empty. When I searched the house I found that all of his belongings were gone. He just…left. No explanation. He was gone and I…I was so relieved. I think a part of me thought he might kill me one day and I feared what he’d do to our baby more than that.”
Shrugging, I ran my fingers down his solid muscular chest, playing with the buttons on his shirt and vest to keep my hands busy.
“The divorce papers came a few weeks later and that was that. I never heard from him again.”
“Fuck Arden.” His hands roamed up and down my sides. “I’m so incredibly sorry that you had to go through that.”
“I’m not,” I sighed. “Without Todd I wouldn’t have Mia and I wouldn’t trade her for the world. She’s worth everything I went through and more.”
He took my face between his hands, staring straight through me. “You are the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met and I’m so damn lucky to be with you.”
“Are you sure about that?” I asked, stroking my fingers along his jaw. “I’m kind of a mess.”
He chuckled and his hands settled at my waist. “Lucky for you I like cleaning.”
“Is that another cheesy popsicle joke?” I cracked a smile, and while small it was genuine.
“Nah, baby, that’s all me. And if you’re going to remain my girlfriend you better get used to all the ridiculous things I say, because I’m not changing.” He grinned crookedly.
“That’s okay,” I leaned forward and lay my head against his chest, “I like you just the way you are.”
“Back at ya.” His lips pressed tenderly against my forehead.
With my skin still tingling from his kiss, and his strong arms wrapped around me, I wondered idly if he was falling for me the same way I was him.
Teasing my hand against the part of his chest that was exposed above the top button of his shirt, I asked, “I’m sorry for ruining tonight. I know you probably went through a lot of trouble and—”
He cut off my next words by pressing his hand against my mouth.
“You didn’t ruin tonight, Little Bird. If anything you’ve made it one of my best because you trusted me enough to let me into your darkest places.” He grazed his fingers down my cheek. “I regret that my actions led us to this moment, but I don’t regret knowing.”
Quiet settled around us and I knew he wouldn’t be the one to break it. Something told me that from this moment on he was putting the power in my hands. I’d never had that with Todd.
“Kiss me.”
His body stiffened. “Arden—”
“Kiss me,” I said again, this time the words were stronger and I stared into his eyes, letting him know I was serious. There was no fear.
Only desire.
He cupped my chin, his eyes remaining on mine as he brought our lips closer and closer.
I gasped at the feel of his lips so near to mine.
His eyes held a question though. He was waiting, once more, for permission.
“Kiss me,” I said again.
Without hesitation he did.
His lips glided over mine.
Teasing.
Biting.
Searching.
My body melded into his and I couldn’t get close enough. I wanted to sink inside him and let everything that was so beautifully him wash over me and mend the parts of me that Todd had left broken.
My hips rocked against his and he let out a husky moan that only spurned me on more.
Nibbling my bottom lip, he breathed my name and I never knew so much meaning could be reflected in so few syllables.
My fingers delved into his hair, tugging on the perfectly styled strands and turning them into a wild and chaotic mess.
I wanted to unravel him in the same way he’d done me from the moment I met him.
He was breaking apart everything I’d thought I knew about life and love and completely redefining the definition—showing me the beauty that had been destroyed by Todd.
“I want to touch you so bad.” He confessed, tilting my head back so he could rain kisses down my neck.
“Then touch me.”
He hesitated, ghosting his fingers down my back before settling his hands at my waist.
“You’re testing my limits.” He said through clenched teeth.
“Hey,” I leaned my forehead against his, holding his chin between my fingers, “I said it was okay. I…I know I freaked out earlier, but I’m good now. In fact, I haven’t felt this good in a long time. Telling you has lifted a weight off my chest and now all I want is for you to—”
Instead of silencing me with his hand this time it was his delectable lips.
I let out a small sound of surprise when he stood with me in his arms.
I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me through the space and back into the bedroom.
He laid me down on the bed and his lips finally parted from mine.
“If this gets to be too much, just tell me and I’ll stop.”
I grabbed the vest he wore and yanked him towards me. “You act like we’ve never done this before. Trust me, I won’t be stopping you.”
His hand settled over mine, but he didn’t pry my hand off his vest. He let out a low, dangerous chuckle. “If you think that time will in any way compare to this one you’re mistaken.”
Something about the naughty glint in his eyes made my whole body tighten in anticipation. My nipples pebbled and he seemed to sense this as his eyes dipped to the front of my dress.
He wet his lips and growled, “I’m thoroughly going to enjoy devouring you.”
I shivered at his words.
His hands shook as they roamed down my legs to my feet where he removed the heels.
I knew, despite his words, that he was holding back—that he was afraid I wasn’t ready for this.
“Don’t hold back,” I pleaded with him, reaching up to cup his jaw. “I want this just as much as you. Please, give me everything. Give me you.”
He lowered his head and whispered against my lips, “You already have me.”
I closed my eyes, relishing in those words.
His hands slid under my dress and stilled when he felt the cool metal of the garter belt connecting to the stockings.
“Is that what I think it is?” His eyes were wide with wonder.
“I guess you’ll have to wait and see.”
“Wait?” He scoffed and pulled the dress up and off my body in one hard jerk. It fell to the floor somewhere in the room and he grinned down at me. “I don’t wait, Little Bird.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he stared down at me. “Holy Fuck, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” His tongue slid out, wetting his lips as he stared at my chest, completely exposed with the see-through material.
Goosebumps pimpled my skin at his words and intense stare.
“You make me feel beautiful,” I confessed. “The way you look at me…I love it.”
He kissed his way down my neck, over my chest, and to the small bit of my stomach exposed above the corset.
“God, look at you,” he growled lowly, “you’re like a fucking dessert.”
He stood up, staring down at me. “As much as I love this, it’s gotta go. I need you naked. Now.” His voice was urgent.
I stretched my arms above my head and the movement made my breasts push out even further. He groaned, palming himself through his pants.
“I want to take my time with you. I want to make this good. But fuck, I don’t know if I can.”
“Stop thinking,” I told him, stretching my neck to reach his lips.
He kissed me deeply, so passionately that I thought my body would ignite from the inside out.
Idly, I acknowledged the fact that I’d never felt this way before with another man. Hayes made me feel happy, and crazy, and like I could do anything, but he also made me feel comfortable and despite my earlier reaction I knew he’d never hurt me in that way.
But my heart?
Piece by piece it was becoming his, and if things ended I knew it would be destroyed.
Falling for him was a risk, but it was one I was willing to take.
His touch sent scorching flames up my spine as his hands slowly curved around my torso. His fingers inched under the edge of my bra but he didn’t remove it.
His mouth closed over one of my breasts, sucking on the skin through the lacey fabric and the sensation of the rough material and his soft tongue was jarring.
I hooked a leg around his waist, pulling him against me and I felt his hardness settle between my legs.
“Oh God.” I moaned, shaking all-over. I wondered if maybe he could make me come this way. The way my body pulsed and hummed, I was thinking yes. My hands clutched at his hair and he let out a groan when I tugged on it. Moving my hands to his shoulders, I begged, “Please. Oh, please. Touch me.”
Take A Chance Page 11